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Bottom 10 Vegan Products/Services

10K views 123 replies 62 participants last post by  jeezycreezy 
#1 ·
This is a sister thread to the Top 10 vegan products and services -- List Yours! thread. Only the opposite.

What vegan products or foods do you think are teh yuck!!111!

I mean, what product did you get excited to try because it was vegan, only to take it home, try it, and marvel at the thought that a group of people in a test kitchen somewhere in the world actually high-fived each other and said:

"YEEESSSSSS!" :fistpump: "Finally, many of us managed to keep it down this time! Let's get this bad boy to market!"

Note: I had a heckuva time finding ten things I didn't like - I have the taste buds of a Golden Retriever - so feel free to just list however many you like. Or, rather, don't like. I'm not a stickler. I seldom stickle.


Here goes.

jeezycreezy's top bottom ten

  1. Yves Spicy Italian Sausage, you're On Notice!
    It's not so much that it tasted like a zesty rubber band so much as I think I had an allergic reaction: My head sweated profusely. My face felt flush. I felt dizzy at first and then cloudy headed after. It was the gustatory equivalent of huffing glue.
  2. Galaxy Foods Vegan Mozerella
    I wouldn't wax my skis with this s**t.
  3. Amy's Black Bean Burrito
    I think composting is a great idea. I just don't want to eat it in a tortilla.
  4. Tasty Bite's chana masala
    It is accidentally vegan. But there is no mistaking it tastes like magma.
  5. Nayonnaise
    It tastes like wallpaper paste would taste if wallpaper paste tasted like elephant semen.
  6. Tofurkey & The Ick Gravy that comes with it
    Save yourself some money and just roast an old boot and cover it in the gelatinous goo of your choice, such as sewage.
  7. Hummus in a can
    Why?!!!

  8. Vega Products
    These taste like top soil in bar or powdered form. For the discriminating dysgeusic athlete.
  9. Tom's of Maine Deodorant
    Keeps you wet and smelly for up to 24 hours!

    And I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel here...
  10. Tempeh
    I would rather eat a veruca loaf.

So...what's on your list?

It can be vegan or vegetarian or whatever. As long as it amuses in some way I'm happy to see it here.
 
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#27 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeezycreezy View Post

[*]Amy's Black Bean Burrito
I think composting is a great idea. I just don't want to eat it in a tortilla.
I love to eat that compost


Really bad vegan things I can think of right now:

- vegan cheeses (yuck)

- any mock meat

- Amy's soups

- soy yogurt (any brand I tried)

- hmmm, Earth Balance is far too salty (I used to eat unsalted butter before I turned vegan, so it was quite a change)

- President's Choice chocolate soy milk (too sweet)

- Tofu-to-go or whatever it is called (I tried strawberry flavor and just found it really disgusting)

- any vegan product that has mushrooms in it
 
#29 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cissy View Post

Amy's No Chicken Noodle soup...
Blech! Yeah. It was like what real chicken soup would taste like after being processed by a baby and scraped out of its Pampers.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica Alana View Post

I would like to point out to Mr Torenthal James (Creezy for those who ain't in the know) how many times Tofutti better than cream cheese was listed in this thread..and it's only on page two. BOOYAH!
More for me, I say Jesserka Alamo! I loves it!
 
#30 ·
1. I can't remember what Silk coffee-esque thing it exactly was (I do believe it was this crap) but it tasted like liquefied library paste. Luckily, it was on sale and wasn't a huge container, but it stayed in the fridge after that first drink. There was no coffee flavor whatsoever. Just ick.

2. Pretty much any Boca product. There are a few products that don't taste gross, but 90 percent of that line is not fit for eating.

3. Most Worthington products. Someone bought them for me at the store because they thought they looked "interesting" but um. No. If it's in a can, I don't want it.

4. Lightlife soy "lunch meat"

Yeah. I actually ate this crap.. I couldn't find tofurky slices (silly me overlooked them for the past several times at the store!) and picked up a couple of packs of this and what a mistake. It's just plain nasty and flavorless.

5. Soy "cheese"

I haven't tried most soy "cheeses", but the ones I have had are worse than the dairy equivalents, ie the individually-wrapped slices. But all the soy "cheese" I can get around here is not worth eating.

6. Amy's black bean soup

It was more like black bean puree without any spices whatsoever, thus being flavorless and like watery mud. I guess it's good if you're sick and can't handle spicy, but the taste might make you sick.. again.

7. Tempeh.

I just don't know what to say. I tried it yesterday for the first time (mmm. fried foods.) and it was not what I was expecting. I'll stick with my tofu, thanks.
 
#31 ·
Several people mentioned Amy's No Chicken Soup. I'm not that crazy about it myself, but it's not a "gross" product for me. I actually have a can of it in my pantry for an emergency for when I'm sick, because when I've got a bad head cold, I can't taste anything anyway. And obviously real chicken soup is out.
 
#33 ·
In no particular order:

Lightlife veggie "meat" slices: dirty socks soaked in bodily fluids smell better.

Mr. Natural bakery products: Maybe it was the day I went, but it tasted like they mistook flour for sugar and decided to bake everything for 89 hours.

Tahini: I can only take small amounts in hummus.

Peanut Wonder: Trying hard to be peanut butter and failing miserably.

Boca burgers: Taste too beefy with no real flavor. Yuck.
 
#36 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katt Fink View Post

7. Road's End Organics Dairy-Free Mac & Chreese - The box it came in would've had more flavor. It's crap like this that makes people think vegan food is gross and boring. That's really all that can be said about this sad waste of resources...
I love that stuff (another piece of evidence that not all tastebuds are created equal). I just never make it like the package says. I usually add tomato paste, vegan sour cream, earth balance margarine, and some salt.
 
#37 ·
boca vegan burgers - so disgusting I couldn't finish one covered in soy cheese and condiments

soy cheese- tofutti AND vegan gourmet - tofutti in small doses disgused in a sandwhich, vegan gourmet- I tasted one bite, spit it back out, and it stayed in the fridge until it molded over.

osoy yogurts- like fermented garbage

any soy hot dogs- just disgusting, taste and texture, ugh.
 
#40 ·
Yeah, I'm another that doesn't get the Boca bashing, and I LOVE tempeh too - no accounting for taste I guess...

As far as bottom 10?

1.) Almost every "Amy's" product ever made: The chili is disgusting, watery, gummy, filled with weird spices yet lacking ANY heat or flavor (plus it has kidney beans which I despise!). The microwaveable products all have weird chemical-y tastes. The BBQ sauce and ketchup taste like weak, watery tomato sauce...I could go on...

2.) Nasoya.

3.) Yves slices (they all taste the same to me - like rubber).

4.) rice milk

5.) molasses (not specifically a veg*n product but it seems we use it more than the average person and I cannot STAND the stuff!)

6.) agave nectar - sorry, I drove 45 miles, spent 12$ and the stuff tastes like... weak sugar water with a really weird aftertaste. Big disappointment.

7.) bananas. Again, not specifically veg*n, but it seems they're the most often suggested substitute for eggs and fats in baked goods. I hate the taste. I can taste them no matter how they're disguised, no matter how much the recipe claims otherwise. Why would I corrupt perfectly good baked items by adding bananas?

8.) Vegan cheeses.

Hmmm... I usually like most things, if I come up with anything else I'll add it.
 
#41 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by VegAnna View Post

I love that stuff (another piece of evidence that not all tastebuds are created equal). I just never make it like the package says. I usually add tomato paste, vegan sour cream, earth balance margarine, and some salt.
That's fine and all, but when I shell out $4-5 for a box of convenience food, I don't want to be inconvenienced by having to play Iron Chef to get the stuff to be palatable. Rather just make it from scratch to begin with.

I don't understand all the tempeh hate... with everyone complaining about the nasty taste/aftertaste... tempeh has slightly more than NO flavor at all. I've drank water with more flavor than tempeh. Are you guys eating it plain or something?
 
#42 ·
My short list so far...

1. Nayonaise - A huge waste of money.

2. Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese - I was sooooo excited to buy this after reading the raves on here. So I get it and I buy some bagels and am soooo hungry and it takes like SPACKLE!! It's true. I did a double blind test.

3. Anything Amy's. And put me down for one more disgruntled No-Chicken Noodle Soup eater. It's scary stuff.

4. Soy Cheese - We bought one brand and the smell alone made me gag. I made the boy try it and yeah, it was Pure Evil.

5. Soy Yogurt - Any brand...Some I can't even get past the smell. Maybe that's my downfall; I like to smell my food before I eat it.

That's all I can think of right now. When I have the money to try more vegan products I am sure I will have more to add to my list.
 
#44 ·
1 Hip Whip - it tastes like grape juice foam and pennies

B Tofurky Kielbasa - nothing like real kielbasa, everything like chewy garlicky bread dough

- Shells & Chreese - I felt bad for the shells

H Tofutti Strawberry Cheesecake - the taste was tolerable, but the burps it gave me could strip paint, and they lasted for many many hours

* Any chocolate flavored Soy Delicious - I don't know about you, but where I come from, chocolate doesn't taste like that

11 Regal Dynasty dark chocolate - it was cheap and there was no dairy but it still made me feel sad for the cows because they have to live on the same planet as this crappy crappy chocolate

x MSF Ground Round - it reminds me of chewy versions of that brown goo that oozes out of cow burgers

2 Nutritional Yeast :ducks: - it has the uncanny ability to make everything it touches taste the way my shoes smell

+ MSF Black Bean burger - I don't hate them, but sometimes they'll give me these stinky black bean farts for like a week. The first day it's funny, but after that I actually start hating my farts. I'd hold them in but they're so nasty I'm afraid they'll do some damage.

Baker's Square Boca burger - They must boil them or something, because they're mushy. I've even told them to make it extra crispy. Apparently they think crispy means gooey.

~Wondre
 
#45 ·
Canvas shoes: on my budget, this is what Im stuck with. Dear God! My feet have never been more calloused and damp.

Silk Nog: I love to put Silk Spice in my tea. Silk Nog, on the other hand, is much thicker and pretty disgusting. But I was never a big fan of nog pre-vegan.

Vegan Gourmet cheese: putrid. Ive given up hope on all cheese substitutes.

Garden Herb Triscuits: these may or may not be veganI seem to recall some unidentified monoglycerides, but I dont think they had parmesan cheese or anything. Either way, they made my hands, breath, clothes, toothbrush, roommate, floral arrangements, and air freshener reek of nastiness.

Tofu2Go: I had to dredge these in nutritional yeast, deep fry them twice, and then slather them in habanero BBQ sauce to make them at all palatable. And my stomach hurt afterward.

Vanilla Soy Delicious: I love many other flavors, but this one this one I cant stand for some reason.

Brazil nuts: to quote my sister, they taste like cat pee. Im rarely subjected to these, thank god, because my best friend is severely allergic and we try not to buy anything containing them.

Burger King veggie burgers: I have no idea whether these are vegan or not, I last ate them when I was ovo-lacto. But jeez, these tasted like egg rolls with ketchup. And I would never willingly put ketchup on egg rolls.
 
#46 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by sluagh View Post

Tofu2Go
Christ on a Segway®, how could I have forgotten those putrid little triangular bits of nasty? They're like eating the sponge you use to clean the toilet with.


I presume if these are 2Go that you're supposed to eat it cold right out of the package, but after one bite I knew I couldn't do it. So I fried it up with some sauce and drowned it in more sauce when it was cooked, and even then I only ate one piece and binned the rest. Blech!

As I am not a bottom feeder, I haven't tried their desserts. Nor will I.
 
#47 ·
Rice "dream" cookies and cream icecream, Ice-like and tastes chalky

Boca vegan burgers, GROSS! Tasted like chemicals. It was too soggy for my liking

Nasyoa tofu, The taste is disgusting

Kashi frozen dinners (black bean and mango), It was a waste of 4 dollars and wasnt very tasty

Soy cheese, Like eating plastic

Nayonaise, Ew

Yves slices
 
#48 ·
1. Vegan soy cheese slices (veggy brand)

2. Boca burgers

3. MSF crumbles

4. Tofu 2 Go

5. Nasoya tofu

6. Smart Deli Santa Fe chicken slices - what are those chunks of red/green in there????????????

7. Garden Burger chicken patties

8. Eden soymilk

9. Eckziel bread- the only use I can find for this is as coasters
 
#49 ·
I dislike almost all Amys products I have tried.

I don't like shells n chreese but I do like the nacho chreese and shells n chreese is only $1.50 here.

You can get cheesly in the states, at least from Food Fight. I thought flavor wise it is comparable to vegan gourmet and the texture is better at room temperature.
 
#50 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeezycreezy View Post

As I am not a bottom feeder, I haven't tried their desserts.
They make DESSERTS? Oh goodness, WHY? I can't imagine that anything they produced would be improved by being chocolate or blueberry flavored.

For some reason, I feel lucky that my supermarket only sells the savory varieties. Arguably, I would be even more lucky if they didn't sell them at all...
 
#51 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katt Fink View Post

I don't understand all the tempeh hate... with everyone complaining about the nasty taste/aftertaste... tempeh has slightly more than NO flavor at all. I've drank water with more flavor than tempeh. Are you guys eating it plain or something?
I know! I'm thinking maybe people aren't preparing it correctly... ?

The only things I can think of which receive my scorn are

- most vegan cheese, especially Vegan Rella and not including Soymage Parmesan substitute (which is quite yummy)

- Tofutti ice cream.

ummm... hm. I can't think of any other things
I pretty much like it all.
 
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