blackpeopleloveus.com
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Yeah, I heard about this and that it upset a lot of people. My first reaction is that it is really funny. It points out a lot of the stereotypes we have about each other, and the akwardness we have of actually getting to know each other as people. The people who wrote letters had some good comments about the site (and some stupid things).
This letter reflects much of what I appreciate about the site:
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Basically I think it comments on how even with the best of intentions, the way white people interact with blacks is very often influenced by a black's race and subconscious or conscious ideas about race (especially when we know little else about them).
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Yes I thought it was a cute humor page, Tame.
I am quite certain that I have made rude remarks -- some that I realized later; perhaps there are more that I never noticed later. And I have noticed similar remarks made by others, relating to my own ethnicty.
Having been raised by people who were openly racist, and having been "protected" all during my childhood from having to interact with any black people at all, I would have been surprised if, as i tried to interact in the world as a young adult, rude remarks didn't escape my mouth, even though I intended to try and reject my racist upbringing and instead treat each person as an individual. Because I have largely stayed at home alone, and had no life, and had little opportunity to interact with people first hand, despite my advanced age, I would not be surpised if such things still come out of my mouth.
However i think that errors of etiquette, are not the same thing as intentionally racist remarks. While it is fun for humorists and entertainers to point out how silly some of these remarks are, in real social situations, when people make such remarks related to my ethnicity, I think it is better not to make a big production out of them, and rather, just let them slide. It only makes things worse if you point out someone's etiquette error. You have to let them figure things out by themselves. Perhaps there are ways to help them do this without pointing them out directly. But I think that correcting the etiquette of others, who you only know casually, is itself, a breech of etiquette. In an entertainment medium, fine, or a discussion among close friends -- one can focus on the humor in inconsiderate remarks, and the underlying "meaning" behind them. But in real social situation -- correcting someone's etiquette is itself a breech of etiquette. Art imitates life; life should not always imitate art.
I think we have to pick our fights. It seems to me that there is more than enough mean-spririted intentional deprivation of people's rights based on racial and ethnic discrimination, that needs to be fought against; I would think perhaps that I don't have much time to fight against poor manners.
I am quite certain that I have made rude remarks -- some that I realized later; perhaps there are more that I never noticed later. And I have noticed similar remarks made by others, relating to my own ethnicty.
Having been raised by people who were openly racist, and having been "protected" all during my childhood from having to interact with any black people at all, I would have been surprised if, as i tried to interact in the world as a young adult, rude remarks didn't escape my mouth, even though I intended to try and reject my racist upbringing and instead treat each person as an individual. Because I have largely stayed at home alone, and had no life, and had little opportunity to interact with people first hand, despite my advanced age, I would not be surpised if such things still come out of my mouth.
However i think that errors of etiquette, are not the same thing as intentionally racist remarks. While it is fun for humorists and entertainers to point out how silly some of these remarks are, in real social situations, when people make such remarks related to my ethnicity, I think it is better not to make a big production out of them, and rather, just let them slide. It only makes things worse if you point out someone's etiquette error. You have to let them figure things out by themselves. Perhaps there are ways to help them do this without pointing them out directly. But I think that correcting the etiquette of others, who you only know casually, is itself, a breech of etiquette. In an entertainment medium, fine, or a discussion among close friends -- one can focus on the humor in inconsiderate remarks, and the underlying "meaning" behind them. But in real social situation -- correcting someone's etiquette is itself a breech of etiquette. Art imitates life; life should not always imitate art.
I think we have to pick our fights. It seems to me that there is more than enough mean-spririted intentional deprivation of people's rights based on racial and ethnic discrimination, that needs to be fought against; I would think perhaps that I don't have much time to fight against poor manners.
Tame is African-American?? For real?? How can you really tell? I assumed but didn't really know if he was or not. I mean, just because of his avatar doesn't really mean he is, I mean my avatar is a fairy...Honestly, it had crossed my mind that he wasn't. Then again, it doesn't really matter if he's purple to me (although I like a nice deep shade of purple)
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ETA for newbies: This is a reference to Tame's hilarious comments in an old thread about another veg website.
Don't forget his pasty vegan children.Originally posted by spud
Someone once started a rumour that Tame is a bald white middleaged family man but i still love him anyway![]()
ETA for newbies: This is a reference to Tame's hilarious comments in an old thread about another veg website.
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(Just playin' y'all!)
And damn, I thought you were a fairy...
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Yes Virginia, there is a Negro on the board.Originally posted by MsRuthieB
Tame is African-American?? For real?? How can you really tell? I assumed but didn't really know if he was or not. I mean, just because of his avatar doesn't really mean he is, I mean my avatar is a fairy...Honestly, it had crossed my mind that he wasn't. Then again, it doesn't really matter if he's purple to me (although I like a nice deep shade of purple).![]()
And damn, I thought you were a fairy...
I thought the site was amusing and fairly well done.
As many of you know, I am not PC and I don't often get offended by racial issues. It doesn't bother me when white friends of mine do things like the ones on blackpeopleloveus.com, as I know they mean well. I even excuse you all for not being able to jump or dance.
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BTW, if anyone doesn't know, it is a white couple that made the site. I also believe one of the creators made something known as the Rejection Phone Number (or something like that.) It was a number that women could hand out that when dialed, gave the caller various ways of accepting rejection from the woman.
As many of you know, I am not PC and I don't often get offended by racial issues. It doesn't bother me when white friends of mine do things like the ones on blackpeopleloveus.com, as I know they mean well. I even excuse you all for not being able to jump or dance.
BTW, if anyone doesn't know, it is a white couple that made the site. I also believe one of the creators made something known as the Rejection Phone Number (or something like that.) It was a number that women could hand out that when dialed, gave the caller various ways of accepting rejection from the woman.
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10,763 Posts
Tame writes:
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...the brother posts in the thread again and everybody leaves?
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This could be a result of an improvemnet in my observational abilities, rather than a change in what I am observing, but in my years of people-watching, it has occurred to me that it appears to me that, these days, a greater percentage of young black people have a very good understanding of the overall North American cultural milieu, than young black people did, say 35 years ago (and most of them also understand Freed-American culture too, are bi-cultural). It also appears to me that there still are a sizable number of young black Americans who haven't figured out what is going on culturally and economically, overall, in North America, but who limit their interests to a small circle of friends and their own culture. I think some of this may be due to fear or discomfort about learning the ways of "foreigners," rather than lack of opportunity to learn. I find it hard to believe that they find narrow cultural knowledge to be preferable, better, for their well-being. What I've noticed is that the Freed-Americans with more understanding of the overall milieu, seem to fare better economically. And that those with narrow cultural knowledge not only don't fare as well economically -- but express unhappiness with the fact. Beyond that, I don't think I can add much to this conversation, as I am myself, am culturally and economically removed from the overall milieu. I know a lot of things about lots of subjects, but unwritten cultural phenomena and unwritten rules of behavior, are not things that I know much about. If something can't be spelled out in no uncertain terms -- I tend to have trouble understanding it. And I don't show up to be verbose about it.
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...the brother posts in the thread again and everybody leaves?
====================
This could be a result of an improvemnet in my observational abilities, rather than a change in what I am observing, but in my years of people-watching, it has occurred to me that it appears to me that, these days, a greater percentage of young black people have a very good understanding of the overall North American cultural milieu, than young black people did, say 35 years ago (and most of them also understand Freed-American culture too, are bi-cultural). It also appears to me that there still are a sizable number of young black Americans who haven't figured out what is going on culturally and economically, overall, in North America, but who limit their interests to a small circle of friends and their own culture. I think some of this may be due to fear or discomfort about learning the ways of "foreigners," rather than lack of opportunity to learn. I find it hard to believe that they find narrow cultural knowledge to be preferable, better, for their well-being. What I've noticed is that the Freed-Americans with more understanding of the overall milieu, seem to fare better economically. And that those with narrow cultural knowledge not only don't fare as well economically -- but express unhappiness with the fact. Beyond that, I don't think I can add much to this conversation, as I am myself, am culturally and economically removed from the overall milieu. I know a lot of things about lots of subjects, but unwritten cultural phenomena and unwritten rules of behavior, are not things that I know much about. If something can't be spelled out in no uncertain terms -- I tend to have trouble understanding it. And I don't show up to be verbose about it.
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