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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wasn't sure whether or not to put this in the relationships, parenting, and family section or healthy living...but I have a bit of a binging problem. When I was a little younger, it was much worse because I would starve myself all day and then it would catch up with me. The last few years, I had been doing better and it happened a lot less. However, lately, my depression is catching up with me and it's happening again. Not to bring anyone down, but ...ok, my mom died a little over 8 months ago and all that time, I just pushed it back and didn't deal with it..because it's the worst thing that could have ever happened to me in my life. My mom was the closest person in my life and whenever I had a problem, she was there. Three years before, my grandma(her mom) passed away from cancer as well and it was devasting because I was also sooo close to her as well. I guess I just dealed with it better because my mom guided me through it and was always there to help...now I have no one to help me, and I've resorted to binging as a way to cope. I need to know what I can do to stop myself..because it doesn't ever make me feel better, and I end up just getting more depressed because of the dissappointment I have in myself. i'm sorry if that was a bunch of mumbling. I need help...well, I'm just asking for your help to get me away from these horrible eating habits that do no good, nothing else really. Thanks
 

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I'm not sure if there's anyone here professionally qualified to help you. Counseling is the best solution. If that simply isn't an option, hopefully there are people who can share their experiences to help get you through this and give you some perspective.

I get somewhat depressed once in a while and I will over-eat all kinds of junk food, like cookies, soy ice cream, etc. Sadly, these things do make me feel better temporarily, until I crash, or I see what they do to my waistline. It's like drugs, really. The short term effects aren't worth the long-term consequences. When about to binge, if you can consider how much better you'd feel if you did something healthy for yourself, you might find yourself climbing out of your depression. I try to do something social, indulge in a hobby I've been neglecting, go for a walk in the sun, be around puppies or kittens, writing, going for a long walk... Anything positive. Anything that stimulates growth. Anything that connects you to goodness.

I'm no self-help guru, but I always notice that I feel better after those things. I've never lost someone close to me, but I can get pretty depressed for other reasons, and I've learned to cope this way.

Best to you.
 

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I want to second the plea that you get some help from a counselor. You have been through a lot and you have every reason to be feeling bad. Having someone who is trained in dealing with these sorts of things would be very helpful. You can usually find a counslor through a community service organization, a church, or your school (I don't know if you are in school.) Best of luck and lots of hugs to you.
 

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I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.

Binging is an attempt to go numb, to distract yourself from the overwhelming grief you're probably feeling. My advice is to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

When my brother died I couldn't believe that life would just continue on, that day would turn to night, and night to day. I couldn't believe how much his passing could hurt. I would do things to distract myself from the pain, like create drama in my life, drink too much, and eat too much. But the saddness always caught up to me. I think it's one of those things you just have to surrender to, you have to be willing to fall apart for awhile and let those rolling emotions wash over you. You need to trust that you will be able to come up for air, and you will come out alright on the other side. There is no time period that is appropriate to grieve, take as long as you need. Talk to people close to you about you're mom, and let them know how you feel. Share stories about her with loved ones and friends. Just don't try to put away your emotions, they will just leek out in some other area of your life if you do. It's okay that you love your mom as fiercely as you do, and it's okay to let yourself continue feel the pain of losing her.

If you want to share anything about you and/or your mom on this thread I'd look forward to reading it. I'm sending you a great big giant hug right now.
 

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JoyFul, I am sorry about the loss fo your mom. I lost my mom two years ago and even though she had been sick for a while, I was totally not prepared to deal with it. Like you, I tried to put it on the back burner but it does come back if you don't face it. I would say first and foremost you need to speak to a professional. And in my personal, unprofessional opinion, I would add that you need to let yourself grieve. Give yourself permission to be upset, to be angry, or to be sad. You'll be better off in the long run. And probably the self-destructive behavior is the result of months of trying to go on as though nothing in your life has changed, when sadly it has. *HUGS* Definitely enlist the help of a counselor or psychologist of some sort.
 

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I'm sorry about your mother and grandmother. You *will* get through this, and I hope it's soon.

The bingeing could be a sign of feeling out of control. Your circumstances reflect that, anyway. That would best be helped by a professional. Do you have any family members to commisserate?

Maybe since you are aware that you're doing this and want to stop it will be easier to modify your behavior??? Maybe fill your plate and do not add more or get seconds. Eat slowly and don't let your mind wander. And be mindful not to overeat. Stop before you feel full. Even if you can eat a bit more, don't. In other words, set aside that time to eat and concentrate on your food only. When you're done; you're done, and move on to something else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you guys very much. I wrote that in a really crazy state of mind, but I'm glad you guys could make sense of it. I know I should get professional help, and I have in the past for other things, but it's really hard to talk to my dad about stuff like this...his comments are always "what, are you doing to do something stupid if you don't get help?" ...he just doesn't get it. Not to mention, he's completley forgotten about her because of his new girlfriend....aaah! I really don't like her. But anyways, thank yo ufor telling me your personal experiences and advice...it all clicked and helped more than you will ever know
It's nice to be able to have varied opinions to get so I can choose what is best for me. I know i t's going to be a long time before I'm over this new stage in dealing with losing her, but thank you for helping it be just a little easier.
 

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i am so sorry to hear about your mother. about the binging, it would be a good idea for you to check out overeaters anonymous. it helps people who do exactly that- binge eating- and want to stop. you can look at the website at www.overeatersanonymous.org or email me privately and i would be happy to answer any questions you have, i'm a member and it has really helped me.

take care, kimmie
 

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oh almost forgot.

overeaters anonymous is free.

i've never been able to afford much professional counseling but i've been able to stop binge eating with the help of overeaters anonymous, so i just thought i'd mention it in case that was an issue for you.

take care and feel free to keep in touch anytime!
 
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