so, my best friend is going through a divorce. she has a 1 year old son. a few months ago, she moved in with my husband and i so we could help her get back on her feet. we are only charging her $100 a month rent, and $10 plus and minutes she goes over on her cell phone (we already had the extra line on our plan that we weren't using). she has her own room for her and her baby, and before she bought her car, she was able to use one of our cars whenever she needed to. all we asked her to do was clean up after her son (he gets into EVERYTHING) and clean the bathroom once a week. my husband takes care of everything else around the house. im only home about 6 hours a day, including sleep time, so i don't have time to help out. (it's lucky i have such a great person around to support me
).
i'm starting to feel as though she's taking advantage of a good situation. today is greg's day off, and he's spending it cleaning the apartment. she's out with her new boyfriend, and hasn't been home all weekend. we've tried to call her to ask her to come home and help him clean, but she hasn't responded. she also hasn't paid rent this month yet, which was due on the 5th. there are toys all over the house. little ones, that keep getting chewed up by our dogs, and presenting a possible choking hazzard for them. there are dvds all over the floor from a week ago when her son went on a rampage and took all the dvds off the shelf. we have some really eclectic pieces of art all over the floor that he has pulled off the tables and shelves. there is a sticky mess all over our very nice dining room table that has been there for days from when the baby was eating. there are flowers that she got from her guy literally rotting in my very expensive pottery barn vase (that we recieved as a wedding gift). we recently got a citation in the mail from one of those traffic cameras from a day when she had the car. the ticket is in greg's name b/c that's who the license plate is registered to. our cell phone bill for the last 2 months has been $100 dollars over the normal bill. she's still only paid $10 for it. this is a consisitent situation.
if we pick up the toys and put them in her room, she gets offended. if we put them in front of her door, they stay there for weeks until they get pulled into the living room again, and left there. the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in a month, and i'm pretty sure there are animals growing in the toilet. i keep telling greg not to do it because she needs to be the one to do it. if he does it, she'll just take that as a hint that it's ok that she has no respect for the people who are doing everything they can (and struggling in our marriage and financially because of it) to help make her life easier. and i know for a fact that if this was her apartment, it would never look like this.
we've tried to talk to her several times, and everytime, she says she'll take care of it. once, she got so upset that we pointed it out that she said she was going to move out. i REALLY wouldn't mind her moving out but i dont want her to do it because she's mad at us. i don't want this to ruin our friendship, but i'm supposed to be studying for midterms right now, and i can't focus enough because i'm so upset that she's doing this. i don't want to point out to her that we do so much for her because i don't want her to feel guilty about everything we do. i don't know how to tell her that i feel like she has no respect for us or our property. i'm just so dadgom frustrated!!
any advice??
eta: something else that drives me crazy: she cooks meat in our pots and pans (we are both veg*ns) and leaves it there. i don't mind (ok, i do, but i deal with it) her using them, but don't leave it there all day for greg to come home and clean up. gross.

i'm starting to feel as though she's taking advantage of a good situation. today is greg's day off, and he's spending it cleaning the apartment. she's out with her new boyfriend, and hasn't been home all weekend. we've tried to call her to ask her to come home and help him clean, but she hasn't responded. she also hasn't paid rent this month yet, which was due on the 5th. there are toys all over the house. little ones, that keep getting chewed up by our dogs, and presenting a possible choking hazzard for them. there are dvds all over the floor from a week ago when her son went on a rampage and took all the dvds off the shelf. we have some really eclectic pieces of art all over the floor that he has pulled off the tables and shelves. there is a sticky mess all over our very nice dining room table that has been there for days from when the baby was eating. there are flowers that she got from her guy literally rotting in my very expensive pottery barn vase (that we recieved as a wedding gift). we recently got a citation in the mail from one of those traffic cameras from a day when she had the car. the ticket is in greg's name b/c that's who the license plate is registered to. our cell phone bill for the last 2 months has been $100 dollars over the normal bill. she's still only paid $10 for it. this is a consisitent situation.
if we pick up the toys and put them in her room, she gets offended. if we put them in front of her door, they stay there for weeks until they get pulled into the living room again, and left there. the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in a month, and i'm pretty sure there are animals growing in the toilet. i keep telling greg not to do it because she needs to be the one to do it. if he does it, she'll just take that as a hint that it's ok that she has no respect for the people who are doing everything they can (and struggling in our marriage and financially because of it) to help make her life easier. and i know for a fact that if this was her apartment, it would never look like this.
we've tried to talk to her several times, and everytime, she says she'll take care of it. once, she got so upset that we pointed it out that she said she was going to move out. i REALLY wouldn't mind her moving out but i dont want her to do it because she's mad at us. i don't want this to ruin our friendship, but i'm supposed to be studying for midterms right now, and i can't focus enough because i'm so upset that she's doing this. i don't want to point out to her that we do so much for her because i don't want her to feel guilty about everything we do. i don't know how to tell her that i feel like she has no respect for us or our property. i'm just so dadgom frustrated!!



any advice??
eta: something else that drives me crazy: she cooks meat in our pots and pans (we are both veg*ns) and leaves it there. i don't mind (ok, i do, but i deal with it) her using them, but don't leave it there all day for greg to come home and clean up. gross.