Being single and appearance talk

1116 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by Auxin, Jun 10, 2014

PerfumedDog

Discussion Starter · Jun 10, 2014

Being single is annoying and dull because you have no one to look good for. I mean sure, I still put on makeup sometimes, but no one's looking. I still wear nice clothes sometimes, but no one cares. No one's attracted to me in general anyways so it's not like someone's going to walk past me and think "she looks good." I've gotten 1 compliment on being pretty in my 25 years of life from people other than boyfriends (and my 1st boyfriend made it a point of saying that his ex girlfriend was MUCH better than me, MUCH better looking than me and just all around superior, and he pointed out women who were better looking at me on the sidewalk, which was pretty much everyone that walked past us) who just say that because, well, they have to.

But I digress. It's annoying not having anyone to get dolled up for. When I was in a relationship 2 years ago, all I had was 1 Dior smoky eye trio and a Mac duo and a few months into the relationship I got an eye shadow quint from Dior. But now that I actually have a lot of makeup to play with no one cares.

When I was in a relationship my boyfriend actually noticed and would ask me where I got it if I was wearing a new item of clothing. It's not like I had very very few clothes, but he noticed. Even when he was drunk.

Right now, no one could care less if I am wearing pretty clothes. Maybe people would take a second glance at me if I was wearing a Celine handbag or something but first of all I don't buy leather products and second of all I hate flashing wealth, which is why I will never buy one of those Hermes H bracelets. I do have a bracelet from Hermes but it's lacquered wood and while I can recognise all sorts of Hermes bracelets based on the material and overall "style", most people will only recognise the H bracelets.

Also people are rude to me all the time in public because they don't like the way I look. Here are just a few examples.

-I asked a restaurant what time they were open to at night and the woman was like WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
-Men at the swimming pool tell me to get out of the way - yes - those are their actual words - if I am swimming too slowly. If I was attractive they wouldn't mind
-A lifeguard talked to me in a rude tone of voice when asking me to put on a swimming cap - he could have said it in a nice tone
-I left my building key in my room and when a girl came she asked me in a really rude tone rather than a polite tone, if I lived there
-Some people don't let me pet their dogs or even move their dogs away if they see me approaching

The list goes on and on.

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PerfumedDog

Discussion Starter · #2 · Jun 10, 2014

As a single person I don't have anyone to tell me that I am beautiful or attractive. It really weighs on your self confidence if all you hear all day is that you are fat and no one that actually accepts you.

I was rejected by someone who pretended to like me, because of my weight. I thought I would get to do fun things with him like sitting with him in the park and holding his hand but nope, my weight stopped him.

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jessandreia

· #3 · Jun 10, 2014

Your first boyfriend is a jerk.

I've gotten better looking over the years, but in my teenage years I did go through a long phase where all of my classmates thought I was ugly. I knew I was being the last one picked in gym class or for group projects because of my looks. There was even this one time when some guy greeted 3 of my other female friends with two kisses on the cheek (I'm European), and when he was going to greet me, he backed off. I honestly just wanted to cry when that happened. The only reason I didn't was because I knew my better looking friends would think of it as a silly reason to cry. So, I do know how you feel. Not being called beautiful does take a toll on your self-esteem.

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Werewolf Girl

· #4 · Jun 10, 2014

jessandreia said:
Your first boyfriend is a jerk.

I've gotten better looking over the years, but in my teenage years I did go through a long phase where all of my classmates thought I was ugly. I knew I was being the last one picked in gym class or for group projects because of my looks. There was even this one time when some guy greeted 3 of my other female friends with two kisses on the cheek (I'm European), and when he was going to greet me, he backed off. I honestly just wanted to cry when that happened. The only reason I didn't was because I knew my better looking friends would think of it as a silly reason to cry. So, I do know how you feel. Not being called beautiful does take a toll on your self-esteem.

Young people can be so cruel, I got picked on a lot in high school too. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I've seen your picture in the User Picture thread and you're very pretty :hug:

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jessandreia

· #5 · Jun 10, 2014

Werewolf Girl said:
Young people can be so cruel, I got picked on a lot in high school too. I'm so sorry that happened to you, I've seen your picture in the User Picture thread and you're very pretty :hug:

Thank you. You're not too bad yourself

With me it happened when I was in middle school in Portugal (who'd think kids in middle school care so much about looks...). Then, I moved to Canada when I was 15... Fortunately, I found it easier to make friends here. I feel like here (at least in the High School I went to) people don't pick their friends by how they look. I think that's a big reason why I like Canada better than Portugal. And that also helped a lot with my shyness.
Good thing those people aren't relevant to our lives anymore. But being treated like that is something you'll remember for the rest of your life.

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Auxin

· #6 · Jun 10, 2014

The rudeness examples just sound like ordinary people being ordinary.
You might be overemphasizing any connection to your looks, some times people are just jerks or do innocent things that get misinterpreted.

When my last dog was still alive I didnt let anyone pet him regardless of their looks, he would have bit them.

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