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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been reading a lot of stuff about not so perfect relationships. For those of you that are in the good ones, keep on keepin' on and congrats.<br><br><br><br>
What I am wondering though, is why do a lot of us put up with the less than satisfying ones? Are we afraid to be alone?<br><br><br><br>
What do you think? Are you comfortable being alone, do you enjoy your own company, do you need to be connected to someone all the time?
 

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I like being alone and at times when I am with someone I crave to be alone. I think it's nearly impossible to find someone of like mind or someone who can even understand me. Maybe I just have high standards? I think we put up with less than satisfying relationships because, like you said, a lot of us need to be connected to someone. Sometimes it's so much easier to stay with someone 'ok' then to break it off and be lonely. Well not myself but most people I know. I could be wrong though.
 

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Yeah but would any of you like to be "alone with me" (?).. that is the question! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> .....I am genuinely lonely so I came to this thread to feel better! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"> ...but I would rather be alone than be in a f---ed up relationship.
 

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I'm in a good, long-term relationship now, but I've always liked being alone. Before this relationship I did go out a lot, but after a few weeks I would always start to feel like I was wasting my time with the other person and would rather just be alone again. I like being on my own. To be unhappy in a relationship is a waste of energy. I have plenty of friends, however, who put up with losers out of fear of "being alone" and "no one else will want me" (and they admitted this).
 

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There's a great line in Some Kind of Wonderful where the character played by Lea Thompson says, "You know how I said I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right ones? I'd rather be right." *sigh* What a great movie.<br><br><br><br>
I've gone long periods of time without being in a relationship, so I don't think I'm one of those people who stay when it's bad. I do feel lonely when I'm alone, though.
 

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the nookie
 

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I think that people are afraid of change. People get so used to these long term relationships that when they go bad it seems like they don't even realize it. Its a routine and when your routine is broken it feels like your life is disruptive. I know for myself when looking at past realtionships, I realize that I usually let them go on for longer than is needed and I think that this is true for many other people too. And yes, maybe people are afraid of being alone. Once you get used to seeing the same person every day or evey weeked or whatever, its hard to give it up.
 

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I hate being alone.. I go from one relationship to the next without a break. Not that I've been in lots... just a few.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by CaptainSwab</i><br><br><b>I think that people are afraid of change. People get so used to these long term relationships that when they go bad it seems like they don't even realize it. Its a routine and when your routine is broken it feels like your life is disruptive. I know for myself when looking at past realtionships, I realize that I usually let them go on for longer than is needed and I think that this is true for many other people too. And yes, maybe people are afraid of being alone. Once you get used to seeing the same person every day or evey weeked or whatever, its hard to give it up.</b></div>
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I am sort of the same. It is not fear of being alone (which I love, a little too much I think), but the fear of losing a familiar routine. Case in point, I could start dating I suppose, but I would disrupt my routine again!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Everytime I date someone I start screeching for "alone" time. I don't miss the people...<br><br><br><br>
I miss the nookie.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block"><i>Originally posted by Tiggzie</i><br><br><b>I like being alone and at times when I am with someone I crave to be alone. I think it's nearly impossible to find someone of like mind or someone who can even understand me. Maybe I just have high standards? I think we put up with less than satisfying relationships because, like you said, a lot of us need to be connected to someone. Sometimes it's so much easier to stay with someone 'ok' then to break it off and be lonely. Well not myself but most people I know. I could be wrong though.</b></div>
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Next Saturday will be 28 years for the prince and I. I have always thought that breaking up is what is easy. Relationship when it isn't "fun" or "satisfying" or they cannot give the grace of understanding ME or are not likeminded to ME, is hard. Some of the loneliest women I know are married to great guys.<br><br><br><br>
There have been times I have said, "Enough", there were times he said I cannot take any more of your ****, I'm outta here. (Abuse was never an issue) He has never understood me, but we are good together. I have needed him and I have wanted to shake loose of him. He has felt smothered by me and he has felt he cannot get enough of me. I am glad we honored our covenanted. At this stage in life we truly care more about each other then about ourselves. The incredible highs and the horrible lows have come together to form a history that is the foundation of a right now of love that I never understood before.<br><br><br><br>
Anyone can get through the easy stuff, but you will not know what you are made of or what you are together until you get through the hard stuff.<br><br><br><br>
I absolutely do not, btw, believe in soul-mate mush. I believe in the lust that brings two people to a place of being unable to consider being without that person, needing to be together. I believe in the covenant of marriage being a promise to God by the power of the Holy Spirit, not a promise to each other. I believe love is what happens after the thrill and the romance of lust has died and the hard work has revealed you for who you are. I believe my job is to love and make him feel significant rather then to demand to be loved and be seen as significant. It all comes back to you if only both of you grow, though you may grow at an uneven rate. Lord knows the prince grew up a long time before I did, lucky for me.
 

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I do fine alone or with company, though I usually sought out the company of friends more when I was single. I like the energy. I do like being alone when I'm working. It's very distracting to have even my cat around.<br><br><br><br>
I wish my sister could stand not to be married for at least a couple of months...
 

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I was in a 6 year relationship that I probably could have stuck with and been comfortable, but I knew that neither one of us were really happy. It was very difficult, but I ended it and haven't any regrets. We are only here for a short time, and I refuse to end up a martyr like my mother and other older female relatives and friends. My closest friend is a guy I've known since I was a kid, so when I crave male compaionship, I go to his place and crawl into bed to sleep next to him...it's enough for me!
 

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Hmmm.....I am tired of being alone, but I would not put up with a crappy relationship just to be with someone. I'm ready to find my life partner, ya know!?
 

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Its funny that this thread was posted because I know so many people who just got out of really long term relationships because they weren't going where they should have been. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and we had both worked really hard and had a lot of fun but we realized that we wanted different things in life. And I wasn't willing to compromise the things I want from life (mostly to have children) to be with this person that I had loved for so long. And at first it was really hard to be alone... but then I had a chance to really fall in love with myself again and indulge in the things that really make me happy and a unique individual. I am now just starting a new relationship and I am having a blast but leaving something that was such an established routine showed me that its okay to change and to be on my own because I have grown so much from that experience. And in my new relationship I really take a lot more personal time then I have in previous ones. I make sure that I get what I need and then give whatever I have to the relationship. I totally agree with what was posted above when it said that the you can be really lonely in a relationship too! That's when its better to be on your own.
 

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I spent WAY too much time with someone who really wanted something entirely different in life and in a relationship than I did. What I learned is I will not do that again just because it is...hmmm...easier to explain than I'm single with a child and not terribly interested in finding Mr. Right (or wrong) at the moment.<br><br><br><br>
I'm enourmously happy to be alone right now. I have my daughter of course, but I mean no romantic relationship.<br><br><br><br>
We are really taught to believe that we NEED something else. That we can't be entirely complete if it's just us. That there has to be SOMEONE in our lives at all times, or if not, it's because we're nuts or something's wrong. I just drove for two days through the mountains listening to various easy listening stations...and country, rock...etc etc. All of which say the same thing. "I am not complete by myself. I really need you to make me happy."<br><br><br><br>
In two such songs the men offered to do EVERYTHING for the woman. One man wanted to choose a lady and buy her clothes, give her credit cards, put her up in an apartment...take her out to eat, get her nails done, her hair done, get her a car, a yacht, and finally (of course) lay her down. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)"> In another such song the man isn't nearly as eloquent, but more to the point. "Here's some money."--literally. I nearly drove off the road laughing and Madison yelled from the back seat, "What's so funny?"<br><br><br><br>
So here we are, willing to beg/steal/borrow/buy our way into some nookie and a reprieve from alone. But I have to say, that I spent some of the loneliest years of my life so far, as a married woman. Yet surprisingly, as a single mother, I don't seem to feel lonely at all. Alone occasionally, but not lonely.<br><br><br><br>
Thus my current philosophy, "It's not enough to have someone around, just to have someone around."<br><br><br><br>
B
 

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I tend to stick with things in general, mostly because I tend to have mixed feelings. Often one day I will be really unhappy with a certain situation, but then the next day I will feel fine about it. I'm like this with people, work, school.......it gets annoying, but I learned not to make quick decisions. When I do decide to make a change it usually occur after a long long period of contemplation.
 
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