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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have to say, I had the worst Easter yesterday...especially since it was my first vegetarian one.<br><br><br><br>
First of all, I'm Greek and that basically equals completely and utterly carnivorous. Second of all, (for those who haven't read any of my previous posts) my vegetarianism began with an extremely traumatizing biology class experience.<br><br><br><br>
Alrighty...<br><br><br><br>
I go with my mom to our friend's house for Easter every year. There they are, roasting a baby lamb on a spit in a pit in the backyard (I've always thought this was pretty gross and I've never cared for lamb). They also make a spiral ham, a pork roast, and roast chicken. There's also usually pastichio which is noodles and chopmeat baked with a bechemel sauce.<br><br><br><br>
What do I eat? A few roast potatoes and some string beans. Oh so filling.<br><br><br><br>
I swear, my mom thinks this is some sort of "phase" I'm going through. She basically announced to all teh guests there that I had made the decision to go vegetarian and the majority of them treated me like I had three heads. (I've known all these people since I was little, too) Then, my <i>mother</i> decided to grab a piece of ham, holding it very close to my face and saying "This is sooo good. You're really missing out. You know you want some." No, I <i>don't</i> want some <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/brood.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":brood:"> Later she told me to have some of the pastichio and scrape the meat off it. Ew. Just...ew. It was an awful experience and really embarassing. Everyone thought her actions were so funny. It's even worse that I thought she was so supportive of me a little over a week ago.<br><br><br><br>
I know it's really stupid, but I started crying after she wouldn't get the ham away from my face. I just sat outside for a while.<br><br><br><br>
*sigh*<br><br><br><br>
Just shoot me.
 

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Awww jeez that's awful. If my mom would have tried something like that I would have blown up. Family or no family. I'm sorry *hugs*
 

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Before the next group event, sit down with your mom and explain in a non-judgmental way that you would prefer that she either support your decision in public, or, if she can't do that, at least refrain from commenting on it.<br><br><br><br>
My husband went through a phase where he would roll his eyes about my turning veg to his friends IN FRONT OF ME like I was suddenly too stupid to realize that he was putting me down. He had no idea that he was behaving that way until I gently pointed it out. He was just reacting to a fear of being labeled as different due to his association with me.<br><br><br><br>
As far as the food you can eat at an event like that, I recommend that you work it out with the hosts to bring a dish for everyone to share, or, if that would be culturally inappropriate, eat before you go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
My mom's friend who hosts the party every year was nice about it. She actually did cook one or two vegetable dishes for me, but I don't actually eat a lot of traditional Greek food and I ended up feeling bad that she went out of her way for nothing =/<br><br><br><br>
I just can't believe that way my mom acted. Seriously, who is the adult here?? Everytime I've tried to have a civil conversation with her about the topic, she practically loses it. I don't know why. Even before I was a vegetarian, for example, I always had a big problem with fur products and whenever it was brought up she always used to (and still does) get mad at me.
 

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Man, i am so sorry. family is so mean and annoying, i know where your coming from, my family has done stuff like that to me too. They just dont understand and sadly they never will. Somtimes you have to ignore stuff, somtimes you can talk things out. i dont know which one would be easier for you.
 

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I'm sorry you had such a bad time...sounds awful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> (hugs)
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> Sorry you had to go through that. I'm Greek too, and I understand how disturbing the whole affair with the spitted lamb and all that can be. Thankfully, my family never did that, nor did we ever have tripe soup (another traditional Easter staple). I think it might be too early for your parents to understand that you're serious about your decision. I've also seen that people tend to feel pressurized when in social situations to be more 'conformist', so I can see how your mum was more insensitive towards you, particularly since she had support from the others. You can have a chat with her about how much it bothers you.<br><br><br><br>
It'll get better in time, though. And you can start cooking for yourself and start bringing your own food to such affairs. People will always be contentious and try to prove you wrong, try not to mind them so much.
 

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I'm so sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"><br><br><br><br>
I guess I have been lucky. My mom is supportive sometimes, but she has her moments where she thinks she is being a wise ass, but I get support from the rest of my family so she's easy to set aside when she decides she wants to be whiny about my dietary choices.<br><br><br><br>
It does get better with time. Perhaps you should be more assertive, that's what I do. For instance, my veganism came up this Easter weekend as well. My grandmother loves to cook and is very supportive of me so she always makes something for me to have [usually a pasta dish or something else that's filling]. But my mother came out with, "Well she's allergic to dairy but she's not allergic to meat and she won't eat it." To which I replied, "We don't know that, actually, because since I'm a vegan we didn't have meat tested at the allergist except turkey by accident which I <i>was</i> allergic to, so you can't say I'm not allergic to meat because there's no true proof of that." It made her shut up. She's tried that same one before and I said the same thing last time.<br><br><br><br>
Just figure out how to rebuttal her.
 

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You know, the sad thing is that family probably will always do this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":("> My mom makes comments, along with hubby like, "well we arent eating Thanksgiving at your house, you will have to eat here and bring your own tofu." Fine I will! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/lick.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lick:"> Not a problem! I have decided that it is much easier for me to just bring a simple rice dish or something along with me when I go to someones house to eat anyway. I got the rolling of the eyes and snide comments from hubby too... still do sometimes but I guess thats all part of going veggie, it is just something that we will have to deal with. Just keep your head up, keep doing what <span style="text-decoration:underline;">you</span> believe is right. They will either come around (hopefully) or not but either way you will feel good about your decision! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"> *HUGS*
 

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I'm sorry you had such a rotten time, it sounds miserable. Better luck next year!<br><br><br><br>
It gets easier as people get more used to it, hopefully your mom will quit being so mean about things.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Starleen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Y I got the rolling of the eyes and snide comments from hubby too... still do sometimes but I guess thats all part of going veggie, it is just something that we will have to deal with.</div>
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Sorry but that's not acceptable. I've just had gone to a funeral of a much loved uncle and had to put up with the superstitious nonsense about "Jesus being our saviour", I did not roll my eyes at that so the the least your husband can do is not roll his eyes about your decision based upon reason rather than superstition. It shows a total lack of respect, if any of my friends did that and did not apologise they would not be my friends any longer, let alone having my wife doing it.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veryangry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":grr:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MentalLentil</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Sorry but that's not acceptable. I've just had gone to a funeral of a much loved uncle and had to put up with the superstitious nonsense about "Jesus being our saviour", I did not roll my eyes at that so the the least your husband can do is not roll his eyes about your decision based upon reason rather than superstition. It shows a total lack of respect, if any of my friends did that and did not apologise they would not be my friends any longer, let alone having my wife doing it.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/veryangry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":grr:"></div>
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Lack of respect? Do you realize how many people you just insulted on this forum?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mazikeen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":hug:"> Sorry you had to go through that. I'm Greek too, and I understand how disturbing the whole affair with the spitted lamb and all that can be. Thankfully, my family never did that, nor did we ever have tripe soup (another traditional Easter staple). I think it might be too early for your parents to understand that you're serious about your decision. I've also seen that people tend to feel pressurized when in social situations to be more 'conformist', so I can see how your mum was more insensitive towards you, particularly since she had support from the others. You can have a chat with her about how much it bothers you.<br><br><br><br>
It'll get better in time, though. And you can start cooking for yourself and start bringing your own food to such affairs. People will always be contentious and try to prove you wrong, try not to mind them so much.</div>
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Thanks...there aren't too many Greek vegetarians/vegans out there that I know of. One of my closest Greek friends, though, has decided to go veggie, too (she's tried multiple times before but her mom and grandma basically refused to cook for her), and even though we weren't at the same house for Easter we talked about it. It helps especially when you come from a house *ahem* <i>culture</i> full of carnivores. Her family teased her all day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sick.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sick:"><br><br><br><br>
Anyway, thanks for your support everyone!
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>jesuislamorse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
I just can't believe that way my mom acted. Seriously, who is the adult here?? Everytime I've tried to have a civil conversation with her about the topic, she practically loses it. I don't know why. Even before I was a vegetarian, for example, I always had a big problem with fur products and whenever it was brought up she always used to (and still does) get mad at me.</div>
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This may sound weird, but if you can't sit down with her and have a civil conversation, try writing her a letter. Explain at the start that you're putting your thoughts in writing because every time you've tried to talk to her, she hasn't listened. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that even if she doesn't agree with your moral values, and she doesn't want to be supportive, the least she can do is to stop insulting you.<br><br><br><br>
And that goes for the rest of you with family problems, too.<br><br><br><br>
--Fromper<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/juggle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":juggle:">
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>jesuislamorse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thanks...there aren't too many Greek vegetarians/vegans out there that I know of. One of my closest Greek friends, though, has decided to go veggie, too (she's tried multiple times before but her mom and grandma basically refused to cook for her), and even though we weren't at the same house for Easter we talked about it. It helps especially when you come from a house *ahem* <i>culture</i> full of carnivores. Her family teased her all day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sick.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":sick:"></div>
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That's a positive thing at least, just having someone to talk to who knows exactly what you're going through <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Sorry to hear you had to experience the waving of the meat in your face thing. Lots of us veggies have had that done to us at one time or other. It's mostly to do with that thing Mazikeen mentioned about conforming in social situations.<br><br><br><br>
Have a chat with your mum about it and she'll probably understand once she realizes that you were hurt by it.
 

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Tell me about it!!<br><br><br><br>
I went to see my parents for easter and they spent most of the time telling me my decision 'won't last' and or telling me how stupid I am for giving up meat but not vegetables which are alive too. Jeez...
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>pkk</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Lack of respect? Do you realize how many people you just insulted on this forum?</div>
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Well I have to say that I found the service as a whole quite obscene, every part was designed to increase the indoctrination of the believers. There were some touching moments when his friends spoke about him but these were personal feelings and did not involve religion.<br><br><br><br>
If people wish to believe this mumbo jumbo that's their right, I was shocked by the experience but I kept my mouth shut and certainly did not "roll my eyes" so I did not show a lack of respect.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>vawny_la_veg</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Tell me about it!!<br><br><br><br>
I went to see my parents for easter and they spent most of the time telling me my decision 'won't last' and or telling me how stupid I am for giving up meat but not vegetables which are alive too. Jeez...</div>
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I always tell people who pull the "Vegetables are alive" card that, although I'm keeping my focus on ANIMAL rights, if they are interested in reducing vegetable suffering, I would be more than happy to find them some literature on fruitarianism.<br><br><br><br>
I deliver this little speech in a total deadpan, which actually tends to make people a little uncomfortable. If the people making said asinine statement is a friend, I'll then let them off the hook by rolling my eyes or something. But sometimes if a person is being a real ass, I'll just leave them hanging like that and walk away. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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that sucks that you had an unpleasant easter experience, and i understand that you would be inclined to share this experience with other veggie folk because most of us have also experienced something like this. the fact of the matter though is that people tease one another because they are different. this hasnt been new since grade school. even this board frequently refers to the 'omnis' and the things they say that many of us disagree with, and if were willing to accept that kind of talk then we should also be accepting of the taunts of people who do not choose the way that we do.<br><br><br><br>
the same goes for the person who mentioned that they were offended by the comment about the religious service. i would never assume anyone to be so naive as to suspect that there werent those who felt that a religious institution is offensive, vulgar, troubling, a lie, or any other number other belittling terms. matters virtue and ethics, whether they pertain to consumption or religion, are confusing at best, and as a result part of being a mature practitioner of such ideas involves recognizing and accepting the diversity of ideas in the world. 'equal rights, not special rights' is a phrase i hear used frequently in matters of gender and orientation, but i believe it applies to other categories such as those ive spoken on here. that being said, dont get so riled up when people tease you about the way you eat, dont get so offended when people find your religion incongruous with the truth, and above all, please be accepting of those who believe differently than you.<br><br><br><br>
i dont usually mean to write so much but it really strikes an off chord with me when people are so easily hurt over issues in which there is really just too much diversity for everyone to be right.<br><br><br><br>
as a final, unrelated note, i saw grindhouse last night and it was awesome.
 
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