[Amy SF]

For those of you who live in multi-unit housing, I was wondering if you ever have any problems with your neighbors where you are on the receiving end of complaints.

I'm not asking about rules and regulations of such living since they vary so much. It's really more in the nature of a rant.

I have lived in my current place (a condominium) for a little over 15 years now. I have never had any problems with neighbors until a few years ago, when one of my neighbors next door got married. All of a sudden, they both started acting like I was some sort of child molester. There was a constant stream of criticism about my making noise at all hours of the day and night. They actually had the nerve to ask me to not work in my kitchen on Saturdays before 9:00 am. One year the guy came over the day after Christmas to complain that I was making too much noise early in the morning. WTF? It's a regular freaking work day, and I was getting ready for work! They were always complaining that I was making "scraping noises" when I was in the kitchen. One day the guy came over at midnight, rang my bell, and woke me up to scream that I was making "banging noises". When I said "what banging noises, maybe they came from downstairs" he insisted he heard them coming from my unit.

And it turned out that it was mainly the wife who was making the complaints, but she would always send her husband over to complain, or leave notes on my door. She never did it herself. She seemed to be hostile and take a dislike to me. One day I noticed they were having plumbing work done, so I called them with a question about the water being shut off in the building. The wife answered and was totally hostile.

Well, the whole thing made me feel like crap. I was afraid to do anything in my own home. It all ended, fortunately, when the wife suddenly decide to get a divorce, and she moved out. The husband has another home somewhere and isn't living next door right now.

So now it has started again this year. The guy who owns the unit under me (I live on the second floor) is renting to somebody else, and apparently he doesn't like the noises he hears when I walk around, especially in the middle of the night (I get up to go to the bathroom, I have a crappy sleeping pattern and can suffer from insomnia). He came to my door to complain one time. Just a little while ago, I heard banging noises coming from below because I'm sitting at my computer (NOT walking around) in the middle of the night.

It's not like I weigh 200 pounds. I'm a little thing and quiet as a mouse. The walls and floors are thin.

I always assumed that noises from neighbors are part and parcel of multi-unit living. When I was living in my first apartment, a neighbor across the way would have parties on Saturday nights with LOUD music continuing past midnight. It never occurred to me to complain. (On the contrary, I wished he had invited me over!)

A couple on the other side of me would have knock-down-drag-out LOUD fights. It never occurred to me to complain. The people in the apt. above me sounded like a herd of elephants. It never occurred to me to complain.

Are these people who live in my current building just way too sensitive? It's annoying to me. It's not like everybody in the building keeps the exact same schedule. I have a right to walk around at 3:00 in the morning if I want. I pay a lot of money to live here and this is my home. And I weigh just 105 pounds, for heaven's sake. I never have parties. I never have loud music on or loud television on, especially late at night. I try to follow the rules of living here such as closing the laundry room door when the LOUD dryer is running, not slamming the garage gate late at night, etc.

So why do I feel like I have no rights here?

I'm sorry for such a long rant, but I just had to get it off my chest.

 

[IamJen]

Hm. It seems like there should be some balance here. If you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, then well, they should deal with the sound of your footsteps on the floor. If you were say, tap dancing at that same hour, then I'd be on the neighbor's side.

How can he "hear" you when you're sitting at the computer?

 

[Poppy]

Sorry Amy - your neighbors sound dreadful.

 

[Amy SF]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamJen

Hm. It seems like there should be some balance here. If you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, then well, they should deal with the sound of your footsteps on the floor. If you were say, tap dancing at that same hour, then I'd be on the neighbor's side.

How can he "hear" you when you're sitting at the computer?

Well, now I'm not sure it was a reaction to anything. It did happen a second time while I was typing my rant. I just assumed it was because he complained about it before.

But yeah, he DID complain. Like I can control when I walk around and will always walk on tippytoes just for him.

 

[catswym]

i've had this sort of thing happen.

i lived in this one apartment for three years and downstairs we had a revolving door of neighbors. none of them ever complained about anything until we got this one couple in there. and then it was non-stop complaining. you're playing your music too loud, you're moving around too loud, you're up too late (11pm!), you get up too early (6am). it was ridiculous. they would call my landlord all the time.

i wasn't too loud for my three roommates but i was too loud for them. sigh.

but it does make you feel paranoid about everything you do. luckily they finally moved out. i mean, it wasn't like i could never hear them either. it's just that i dealt with it and they were used to living in a house by themselves.

 

[Marie]

I used to live in one apartment where the woman downstairs would accuse us of following her through the floor. She really thought that we knew where she was in her apartment and decided to make noise above her head on purpose. The office people were sick of her weird complaints about everything and the kids in the complex were afraid of her.

 

[Medesha]

I hear you; I've always lived in apartments. Just start throwing some loud parties to give them contrast.

Seriously, though, it does suck. In my last place, the residents used to harrass me and my friends for being "drug dealers" just because we came and went after 9 pm! Honestly, the only thing you can do is ignore them.

 

[veggielove]

A friend of mine bought a $400,000 condo. Big mistake. the guy who lives on the other side - some single guy in his mid 30's - works from home, and they have thin walls, apparently. He would call them to complain they were TYPING TOO LOUD in their study, since his bedroom shares the same wall. They were afraid to even talk in that room. it was ridiculous. Then they inherited 3 dogs (long story) and he calls the police if the dogs are barking for even 5 minutes.... in the daytime while they are at work. Condo/apartment living can suck.

I live in an apartment and no one has ever complained about us making noise, but our building is pretty soundproof. The only thing i dont like is when people burn incense or smoke pot, cause smoke rises right into my apartment, and I'm pregnant. :-( doesnt happen too often but they seem to do it more in the winter so i'm nervous :-(

You should read the For Better or for Worse comics. There is a story about that going on right now ;-)

 

[GhostUser]

I feel for you - and yes, the people in your (Amy, Medesha, veggielove, etc...) building all sound hypersensitive to noise and disturbance.

If the same person keeps bothering you ask them to start writing down dates and times and the nature of incidents and sign them before they complain to you. Many people will realize that they are being unreasonable or discover that you actually aren't the one making the noise. If they persist in complaining you can take the documents to your next board meeting (in condos) or the landlord/management co. and assert that you are being harassed. Make sure you keep copies in case it actually becomes an eviction type situation.

My own horror stories are myriad because I worked shift for so long (10 years) and would come in every night past 0300h. Drug dealer, criminal, I got accused of lots, but the funniest was when I took a shower at 1800h (before a shift) and the upstairs neighbour came down and pounded on my door because I was 'affecting the water pressure'. I could not answer the door because I was IN THE SHOWER. The neighbour sent the landlord around (because I would not answer the door FROM THE SHOWER) to tell me NOT TO TAKE A SHOWER at that time of day. I had lived in the building for about half a year, I had warned the landlord before I moved in that I worked shift, I paid rent on time, I even replaced lightbulbs in the hallways (another long story) to be helpful. I also got accused of smoking in my suite (NS building) while I was OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I even showed them boarding passes to prove it wasn't me and the landlord still gave me the 'ol stink eye.

 

[Brandon]

Amy,

I find it amazing and more than a little ludicrous that your neighbor actually has the gaul to tell you when you should be awake, and complain about things as miniscule as your going to the bathroom. You are an adult, you pay your bills and from what it sounds like you don't do anything out of the realm of acceptable, neighbor-friendly things. Don't even worry about it, but if it bugs you enough you might consider moving. (?)

Sounds like the man's wife has some other problems to deal with, and picking at you is just a symptom of her being bitchy.

I like Medesha's idea of throwing a few loud parties just to give them perspective.

 

[thebelovedtree]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy SF

Well, now I'm not sure it was a reaction to anything. It did happen a second time while I was typing my rant. I just assumed it was because he complained about it before.

But yeah, he DID complain. Like I can control when I walk around and will always walk on tippytoes just for him.

You should send him a printed schedule of when the both of you are now going to be awake, asleep, eat, drink, pee, watch tv, etc. so you'll both be on the same schedule and make the same noises at the same time. That way no one will ever be bothered.

 

[Iria]

Wow, some of these stories are ridiculous! I only have one annoying neighbor story to share.

Our dorm is on 24-hour "quiet hours" the week before finals. Once my friends and I were talking in the hallway at 4:00 in the afternoon and my next-door neighbor opened her door with her hair mussed (napping, we assume) to say all snooty "You guys need to keep it down. It's quiet hours." I share a wall with her and I couldn't sleep that night because she played loud music until well after midnight. I really wanted to bang on the wall and yell "Quiet hours!" but I'm just too nice.

 

[Amy SF]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iria

Wow, some of these stories are ridiculous! I only have one annoying neighbor story to share.

Our dorm is on 24-hour "quiet hours" the week before finals. Once my friends and I were talking in the hallway at 4:00 in the afternoon and my next-door neighbor opened her door with her hair mussed (napping, we assume) to say all snooty "You guys need to keep it down. It's quiet hours." I share a wall with her and I couldn't sleep that night because she played loud music until well after midnight. I really wanted to bang on the wall and yell "Quiet hours!" but I'm just too nice.

If she persists in doing that, you could probably complain. Don't you have a dorm mother or somebody you could go to?

 

[Iria]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy SF

If she persists in doing that, you could probably complain. Don't you have a dorm mother or somebody you could go to?

It's not loud enough to bother anyone but me, and I don't want to cause any animosity, because I'm a good neighbor. Besides, I figure I'd better learn how to sleep with noise if I'm going to survive the next three years here.

I mostly find the whole situation amusing. If she'd be quiet and sleep at night, then all of us could be awake and noisy at the same time during the day and no one would be bothered by it.

 

[zoebird]

i live in a condo, and while we hear the neighbors occassionally, it's really not that bad. we dont' have people on top of us, just along the back wall and side wall of our place.

i know that our neighbors hear our headboard hit the wall occassionally--they've made mention of it--and we knew about it so we made corrections. The mention was like this though: from the wife--"girl, if my husband was as cute as yours, that head board would be making noise morning noon and nite!" and i responded "He has to work sometime; pays the bills." LOL! so, it was totally non threatening and nice, and it was easy to fix (we put felt pads on the back edges and better secured it to the wall rather than the bed frame).

when i've lived in apts, i had more 'walking noise' but it wasn't that big of a deal.

were i you, i'd just point out that it's an aspect of living in close quarters and that you strive to be respectful of those who live around you. Assert that repeatedly and then let it go.

don't let it change your behavoir. i'm sure you're not doing anything abnormal.

 

[delicious]

Above me, lives a very noisy 7 year old. He sometimes plays marbles before school, but I can only hear it, if I'm in my kitchen. However, sometimes he runs or jumps and that is loud. So what? He's a normal kid. I wouldn't think of complaining.

And I often keep very strange hours. I've been known to make cookies at 3 am. No one has ever complained about me.

So, I am sorry. You just have some psycho neighbors. And I think that I'd get a little louder, everytime they complained. And I wouldn't think of opening my door late at night to an angry neighbor.

 

[Amy SF]

Okay, this guy who lives below me just came to my door AGAIN to complain that I'm making noise "every night". Not true! I said I was in bed. He says he hears everything I do. I got very angry and defensive. He said he hears me "stomping around, banging on things, tapping". I said I don't stomp, I walk. I don't bang or tap. I was in bed. I do get up in the middle of the night sometimes, but I don't intentionally make noise. He said he understood that, but please tone it down anyway. He finally left and said he was going to talk to the neighbors. What is he going to do, circulate a petition or something?

He said he gets up at 4:30 and he hears me at 2:30. So, that makes it MY problem? I don't think so.

Why can't he leave me alone?

 

[GhostUser]

Unless you have me on ignore - Ask him to write it all down, the activities (noises) he is hearing, the time of day, what he was doing at the time, and get him to date and sign it. Either he'll do it (I bet he will) and ignore how ludicrious the whole thing is or he will back off. If anything is made of it you can at least make sure his story stays straight (I bet it won't) and have a chance to show exactly how nit-picky Captain Quiet can be - perhaps in defence of your own actions.

 

[Amy SF]

Yeah after I posted that last post I had a long talk with my sister who said I should also document his complaints, plus:

1. Reconsider how I walk around at night. Maybe I could improve a little. She pointed out that we (a general we) don't always consider the way we walk during the day, but that it could be a little too noisy at night. (However, this is a 35 year old building. It creaks. It groans. It settles. I'm sure that's partly what he's hearing).

2. Rehearse what I would say to him if he complains again. She knows I'm not a confrontational person, but I have to get over that and speak to him reasonably (not be angry and defensive like I was tonight). Suggest to him, for example, that he is oversensitive and perhaps he needs earplugs if he's hearing noises every night and has to get up at 4:30.

okay...

 

[Thalia]

I live in an apartment near a busy street, parking lot, teen hangout, and near two major hospitals and a speed trap. Sirens day and night, loud people, car alarms, etc. I cannot sleep without earplugs. It was uncomfortable at first, but now I need them to sleep anywhere. People need to adapt to apartment living. Especially buildings with old hardwood floors. Everytime a person walks, even with socks on, it makes noise. Oh well, people just need to deal.

Don't you dare vacuum, young lady!