Anti-vegan friends!

1376 Views 21 Replies 18 Participants Last post by CaptainTrollge, 17 d ago

Cedre

Discussion Starter · Mar 10, 2009

Ah, I just read the thread about someone helping their vegetarian friend go vegan. I am so sad that my friends are so anti-vegan! It really really hurts me! My so called friend calls every thing I say vegan propaganda! I am not even one of those vegan preachers...I am a quite vegan, who doesn't make any fuss about which restaurant we're going to eat at or what other people are eating. I don't go out of my way to teach them their evil ways. The only time I ever talk vegan is when people ask me questions...and even THAT is vegan propaganda!!!

When I first gave up all animal products everyone was all over me about iron, because I used to be anemic. I had done extensive research on the iron issue, so I was ready with answers for their concerns. But no body cared about my answers because they were 'propaganda'. Eventhough the information came from WHO!!! Of course, they all got their degree in Nutrition the night before, so I am sure they knew what was best for me!!!

The other friend I have is almost as bad. She makes fun of me for not being able to have this or that and rubs it in. Like I care. I don't care about the stuff she's eating...it's the way she does it that bothers me.

Ah gees, I need new friends!

How do I deal with the vegan propaganda ???

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

Bmtn

· #2 · Mar 10, 2009

You said it: get new "friends", or actual friends who do not make fun of the choices you make.

Wednesday_12

· #3 · Mar 10, 2009

Me and my best friend have almost lost our friendship several times over my Veganism. She insults me to no end about being a Vegan. I don't think she realises how much it hurts me. Anyway, I've always forgiven her and put her in the 'naive' catagory of people I know. It makes me feel superior to think that I secretly call her 'naive' and 'close minded'

I know it's stupid to think of one of your good friends as naive, but it does stop me arguing with her! As I know that I will never convince her that Veganism is ok.

At any rate, I don't ask my friend to become Vegan, just to respect my choices in life, and why is this so hard for her to do? I think she's jealous that I have the ability to be disciplined and stick to a 'diet' when she has tried and failed many times.

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MZCsmpsns

· #4 · Mar 10, 2009

I think some people just assume that being veg means you're judging those who aren't and they get defensive. I've been fortunate enough that everyone around me supports me, so I don't have much experience in this, but I say let it go. Eventually they'll get bored w/making fun of it etc... If they don't, let them know that they need to respect your life, and if they can't do that, screw them.

Mr. Sun

· #5 · Mar 10, 2009

My friends don't bug me about it -- perhaps because they know I can thrash them in a debate on the subject. I wonder if your friends feel safe bringing up veganism with you because you are so quiet and they know you won't cause a big vegan fuss.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wednesday_12

At any rate, I don't ask my friend to become Vegan, just to respect my choices in life, and why is this so hard for her to do?

That's good advice. If you aren't comfortable trying to influence (in a direct manner) others to become vegan then perhaps you would feel comfortable asking them to at least respect your dietary choices and not bring it up all the time.

clarita osita

· #6 · Mar 11, 2009

I'm sorry

I've been pretty lucky. Nobody really gives me a hard time about it unless they're drunk

Those rare occasions when somebody's actually mean about it, though, I usually clam up a bit and get flustered. I'm not good with confrontation! I end up just saying things to placate them, really, instead of defending myself. Working on that...

Anyway, sorry you're dealing with that. But if they can't simply respect your choices, since you're apparently healthy regardless of your diet (or maybe because of it!) then maybe they aren't the best of friends.

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2

paganveg

· #7 · Mar 11, 2009

It sucks that your friends aren't more supportive. I agree that trying to find either veg friends or more supportive friends may be a good idea.

Have you tried telling them how much their comments hurts you? Maybe they don't know how bad you're feeling.

GhostUser

· #8 · Mar 11, 2009

if your friends are ok in every other way, you probably dont need new ones, you just need to pull the ones youve got into line. just tell them to stfu about it cuz its pissing you off. pick on something thats important to them and say how would you like it if i kept going on about " -----"

GhostUser

· #9 · Mar 11, 2009

They don't sound like "real" friends, hun.

Imo, they are supportive and back you. It doesn't sound like they do. ??

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coley

· #10 · Mar 11, 2009

Hmmm....it's always seemed strange to me that people can get irritated about another person not eating animal products. The friends of mine that are 'funniest' about my eating habits are the ones who have been unable to stay vegatarian. Since they couldn't keep it up they feel inclined to have a subtle go at me. Methinks they are swallowing a fairly big dose of guilt with their meat sometimes.

eistxist

· #11 · Mar 11, 2009

Most of my friends are respectful of my choices, but I have received some rude comments here and there. I was out with friends at Denny's and one of them asked me why I am vegan. I gave him a vague explanation, knowing he would not absorb anything I said. His response was, "Vegan bull****." The best way to deal with people like this is to simply be nice and take their mockery with a grain of salt. They usually don't know what they're talking about, anyway. :]

Shamandura

· #12 · Mar 11, 2009

I love how some friends think they can get away with saying crap like that, because their your "friends". No one I know says hurtful things like that, unless I am trying to find something offensive about how they react to my choices. What secretly ticks me off, is I don't get why the supportive people in my life, say they've considered "trying" to go veg, but dont do it and make up excuses, which excuses usually offend me.

Scarlet Soul

· #13 · Mar 11, 2009

I've been having the same problems with friends, so when I saw this book at the library I picked it up. It helps answer some of these questions and sheds light on why omni's get so defensive about food.

The basic idea is that they have blocked themselves from the information and the benefits of being veg*n so that they can continue to enjoy their lifestyle free from a conscience. Just your presence as a vegan makes them see that there is another way of living. They don't want to know why it's good for you. They don't want to know what happens to the animals. They've blocked it out.

They make it seem trivial because if it's trivial then it can't be upsetting.

I still don't know how to deal with them though!

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Shamandura

· #14 · Mar 12, 2009

^Wow, there's a book for everything! Seems like the type a book I'd want to keep hidden from my husband, as he'd probably take it as me trying to disect him.

delicious

· #15 · Mar 12, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by eistxist

Most of my friends are respectful of my choices, but I have received some rude comments here and there. I was out with friends at Denny's and one of them asked me why I am vegan. I gave him a vague explanation, knowing he would not absorb anything I said. His response was, "Vegan bull****." The best way to deal with people like this is to simply be nice and take their mockery with a grain of salt. They usually don't know what they're talking about, anyway. :]

"Vegan bull****."

hahaha I've gotten similar a couple of times. And I agree with your post completely. Well said.

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Kiran

· #16 · Mar 12, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarlet Soul

I've been having the same problems with friends, so when I saw this book at the library I picked it up. It helps answer some of these questions and sheds light on why omni's get so defensive about food.

The basic idea is that they have blocked themselves from the information and the benefits of being veg*n so that they can continue to enjoy their lifestyle free from a conscience. Just your presence as a vegan makes them see that there is another way of living. They don't want to know why it's good for you. They don't want to know what happens to the animals. They've blocked it out.

They make it seem trivial because if it's trivial then it can't be upsetting.

I still don't know how to deal with them though!

Have you read the whole thing yet?

That is a great book and I often find myself using her suggestions for how to defuse awkward and confrontational situations.

Scarlet Soul

· #17 · Mar 12, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiran

Have you read the whole thing yet?

That is a great book and I often find myself using her suggestions for how to defuse awkward and confrontational situations.

I'm smack in the middle right now and her ideas on deflection and non-confrontational wording seem to be working for me so far.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shamandura

Seems like the type a book I'd want to keep hidden from my husband, as he'd probably take it as me trying to disect him.

LOL my mother stopped over the other day and was perfectly horrified by the title. "so I'm a meat eater now?" like it was some sort of terrible epiphany.

Envy

· #18 · Mar 12, 2009

Seems a little generalizing to me.

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Sevenseas

· #19 · Mar 12, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by eistxist

The best way to deal with people like this is to simply be nice and take their mockery with a grain of salt.

If by "be nice" you mean "take a fork out" and "take their mockery with a grain salt" you mean "stick it in their knee", I agree completely.

Amira

· #20 · Mar 12, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarlet Soul

LOL my mother stopped over the other day and was perfectly horrified by the title. "so I'm a meat eater now?" like it was some sort of terrible epiphany.

She's horrified? Like she isn't a meat eater?

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