[blueserendipity]

My s.o is a omni, and for the first half of our relationship (its been two years) i was too. While he is generally respectful its pretty damm difficult.

We spoke the other night about ending it and one of his reasons for wanting to was my veganism i also agreed. As you know veganism is a lifestyle change epesically for me. I know i've changed majorally and this is probably part of the prob too.

He's excellent in that he doesn't eat in front of me and is basically vegan when i'm with him.

The problem is living together, i don't want to live with a meat eater again, i know some people are fine with it but i just can't handle the smell of meat especially when its cooking. I realise that he will continue to be a meat eater but what about no meat in house rules, has anyone done this?

Even if he agrees to such a thing i think he will end up resenting me for it. He said the other night that he finds my veganism frustrating.

Children is also a issue and i can't imagine brining up vegan or even vegetarian children with meat in the house.

Am i being un- reasonable in this?

 

[Thalia]

No.

 

[GhostUser]

Unreasonable? Well, kinda.

When you live together, it will be HIS house as well. And he deserves to have HIS lifestyle respected as much as yours. Also any children you have *together* will be his as well: and he has as much right to raise them the way he wishes as well. It can't be all your way.

Compromise is going to be very important if you two wish to stay together.

Otherwise, you might have to consider that your lifestyles and value systems are just too far apart to make it work.

 

[firebird_81]

Gruntled Sheep makes a good point. My husband is an omni; we both were when we married. Just because I decided to go back to being a vegetarian, and subsequently decided to become a vegan, doesn't mean that he has to. He may never completely stop eating meat. And he has every right to cook and eat the food he wants in the home we share together. We have no children yet, and I'd really like to raise our children vegan, but he may disagree, and they will be his children, too, so I probably have a pretty big compromise looming in my future.

You, however, are at a point where you and your SO are not yet married or living together. NOW is the time to decide if you can live with an omni and raise children with him. You have to ask yourself - "if he NEVER goes vegetarian or vegan, can I live with that?" If the answer is "no," then you know that you have a difficult conversation to have with him. Just remember that there may be a lot of other great things about him, and you'll be losing all of those things, too. I have to remember that when I'm upset that my husband is eating/cooking meat in our home.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Thalia]

Quote:

Originally posted by firebird_81

You, however, are at a point where you and your SO are not yet married or living together. NOW is the time to decide if you can live with an omni and raise children with him. You have to ask yourself - "if he NEVER goes vegetarian or vegan, can I live with that?" If the answer is "no," then you know that you have a difficult conversation to have with him. Just remember that there may be a lot of other great things about him, and you'll be losing all of those things, too. I have to remember that when I'm upset that my husband is eating/cooking meat in our home.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Thanks. You pretty much said what I meant by no but didn't have time to clarify.

If these things you are concerned about are very important to you, that is your right. I feel indivuals are the best at knowing what they could or couldn't live with and should not feel bad for having some "deal breakers". Now if you meet some guy even more awesome than this one and you feel it would be worth compromising for him, well cross that bridge when you come to it.

I personally am wondering how I should deal with this. I am thinking of putting up a personal ad. I don't want to eliminate omnis without giving them a chance, but realistically, I am not sure I could cope long term. Maybe I should eliminate them from the start and not waste their time. This is of particular concern, bc I had a situation just like yours and we did break up.

 

[pickletatertot]

My husband is omni. He is very supportive of me though. He agrees that a vegetarian diet is the healthiest diet for our family and that helps a lot. We have two young daughters. We have no meat in the house. We do have dairy and eggs in the house but all my cooking is vegan. He loves my cooking, BTW! This is working for us but that's largely because my husband is so supportive and usually lets me have my way!

We will probably never be vegetarian. He eats meat at restaurants and at other people's houses. Meanwhile, he and our children benefit from the health aspects of a largely vegetarian diet. This arrangement suits us all.

So, it may be possible to come to a compromise that works for everyone...but respect and understandind will be necessary. If you can't compromise, now is the time to make a change in your relationship. Best to you!

 

[soilman]

Excellent question and excellent responses. I am proud of you all. There is no longer any need for me to add my 2 cents, much less add prolongued commentary, as there has been in threads like this, in the past. That is making me happy as a lark. I can die happy now.

Love you all.

 

[sesametofu]

I'm married to an omni. Ever since we've known each other, I've been vegetarian, and for the last year or so I've been extremely close to vegan (as close as I can get).

When he moved in, I guess we kind of agreed that there wouldn't be any meat cooked in the house. But he did move in to my house where I was already living with my two vegetarian children, possibly that makes a difference.

So, all my cooking is vegan and that's pretty much what he eats. He mainly confines his meat eating (and it is almost always fish anyway) to restaurants and other people's houses, parties and such. However, he does keep cheese in the house and eats it, he also eats boiled eggs for breakfast once in a while, and there are some cans of tuna that he uses to make sandwiches to take to work. Sometimes I will make the sandwiches for him, after all he's my husband.

I have cooked meat for him once in three years, when he was recovering from a bad car accident and finally got the wires taken off his jaw, he really wanted a hamburger so I made it.

My older kids are still vegetarian/now almost vegan, and our toddler is very nearly vegan but occasionally eats snippets of cheese, egg, when Daddy is eating them.

We make it work with mutual respect and appropriate compromise. We have more important things to fight about like his driving - or my driving - depending on who's driving.

 

[GhostUser]

I have been hesitant to date an omni since I turned vegan. But if you guys really care, you can respect each other. I do want a vegan s.o., but I haven't met a vegan guy around here, so I don't see that happening any time soon.

At veganmeat.com The guy proposed to his vegan, now fiance (obviously). So, it can work. He doesn't eat meat when he's at home, I believe. But they are getting along fine. (great recipes at his site, too. heh)

I can't stand the smell of cooking meat, my parents had pork in the crock pot the other night (it smelled rancid!

) But I put up with it because I am not going to change them anymore than they could change me.

 

[Euphoria]

OK, well unlike everyone else my bf does keep and cook meat in our house, mostly chicken, sausages and steak (yep the stinky stuff). I've been a veg. for a very long time, yet he doesn't really eat vegtables (peas, potatoes and carrots are it) and no fruit either unless I force him.

I'm fine with this as I realise that he is entitled to his lifestyle and food habits, just as I'm entitled to mine. But we do have seperate cooking pans... he can't cook meat in my fry pan! We also cook at seperate times, so I don't have to smell his stinky meat.

We respect each others lifestyle choices, although I'm forever trying to get him to eat better, but he's very stubborn and set in his ways.

I also know that when I do have children, I will bring them up vegetarian/vegan. I don't think it would be possible for me to raise meat-eating children.

 

[blueserendipity]

wow i think alot of other veggies are willing to put up with a little more than me.

Veganism is one thing i can't compromise and i realise that i'm not willing to allow meat into the house, only milk and eggs. I really don't know how those of you cook meat for your other half or prepare food with meat in it. It just seems to be going against everything i believe in.

but i suppose its what your comfortable with, i just don't think i'm that comfortable with it. I've spoken to him and he says he is willing to not have meat at home but i can tell there will be resentment so i'm not sure what i will do. For those who posted and say that their husband doesn't eat meat at home, does he seem to resent you for it?

Next time i think i will just look for a veggie male it makes it alot less complicated.