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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mother just doesn't seem to understand that I really want to be a vegeterian (I'm doing this regardless of what she says or thinks...afterall I'm almost 20.) When I told her about my choice she asked me: " Who's the other vegeterian?" She actually thought that I was becoming vegeterian because I wanted too be like someone else. I don't even know any other vegeterians! Then later on when I thought she had accepted it we were talking about christmas eve dinner which is always speghetti. I mentioned that we had to get some sauce at the grocery store. She asked why cause she always makes some. I told her that there was meat in it so I couldn't eat it. She actually told me to cut it out!!!!! Can you believe it??? And today she actually asked me if I wanted to be vegeterian so I could lose weight!!! I'm 5'10 and 140 pounds!! I don't need to lose weight!! She's driving me nuts!!! She doesn't understand that I think it's cruel to eat meat
 

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That must suck. Perhaps you can show her "meet your meat" from PeTA and explain to her that you want to have nothing to do with an industry that imposes such atrocities to living, breathing creatures. I hope that works!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I think that I'll send her an email with the youtube site that has that video and tell her that it's the reason I became a vegeterian...maybe then she'll understand
 

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If you're a person who tends to go through phases, your mom thinks this is just another one.<br><br>
Regarding the spaghetti, I think you could have either: 1. gone and gotten some sauce yourself, since you are 20; or 2. you could have asked her to set some of hers aside before adding meat to it. Asking someone to go out of their way because of your diet doesn't make them very accepting of it, especially if they aren't that happy with it to begin with.<br><br><br><br>
Also, you CAN eat it, you choose not to. It seems like it's not a big deal between "can't" and "won't" but when you're trying to explain your veg-ism to someone, saying "can't" makes it sound like a diet you're trying to stick to. Like you're not "allowed" to eat it. "Don't" and "won't" are saying you can, however you CHOOSE not to; you DON'T want to.<br><br><br><br>
P.S. V-e-g-e-t-a-r-i-a-n. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/wink3.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=";)">
 

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try to remember your mum is from a different 'generation'. about the cutting out the meat thing - well, yes, i can believe it. really, why would she know otherwise? instead of getting angry or frustrated or annoyed, try really explaining it to her. the more you show your frustrations, the more she is going to get irritated by this vegetarianism.<br><br><br><br>
i know she doesn't understand, and sometimes that's just 'how it is' (and sucks, i know), but just try not to fuel the fire or it will be a huge battle.<br><br><br><br>
good luck!
 

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Trust me I fully understand your frustrations. Neither of my parents fully gets it. Both of them believed I became vegetarian entirely for health reasons, no ethics involved.<br><br>
My own mom flipped out at me in a department store when I wouldn't get hiking boots because they were all made primarily of leather. My dad was no help either, claiming that I was starting to get "crazy" with my vegetarianism.<br><br>
Just stick to you beliefs without causing too many feuds or arguments, as hard as that will be. I'm pretty certain part of the reason people act this way is out of guilt, so the best way is to make sure they feel like you're not accusing or judging them. If you figure out any fool proof way to get around those types of reactions though be sure to let me know.
 

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Dont feel bad, I am 40 something and my mom still bugs me to eat meat......she thinks i need "more protein" and "the kids need to eat meat"<br><br>
uggh, i just have to ignore her and count to ten in my head. she doesnt live close by.......so i dont have to deal with it much......
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
thanks guys...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
I just really needed to talk about it. It really bothered me when she told me to just "Cut it out" it was like she was telling me "stop with this crap and start eating meat." The thing that bothered me the most though was that she would think that I'm doing this because someone else is. I think it's cause it was the first thing she said when I told her. It's like she thinks I can't make a choice without asking someone. I'm almost 20 years old! I can makes my own decisions!!! And as for the "weight loss" thing I don't even know where that came from....
 

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during the holidays you start understanding that food is more than what you eat-- It is highly unlikly she will "get it." Make sure she does not dress the noodles and bring your own container of sauce. Or talk her into having 2 versions, meat and non-meat. You never know when one of the guests is dieting, so you can call it the "low-cal" version.
 

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That sounds like a fairly typical parental response, at least it was with mine and a lot of other people I've seen post on here. Maybe it's a shock to parents because we're choosing a way of eating/living that is different to the way they brought us up and it's hard for them to accept that difference. But yeah, it is irritating... My dad was convinced that we'd had a talk at school from the Vegetarian Society (I was 15 and not exactly lacking in intelligence) and I was annoyed then that my parents didn't seem to think that I was capable of making a decision from my own reasoning! Hopefully your mum will grow out of this hostile phase fairly soon and stop bugging you about meat. Do you live with your mum?
 

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I guess Christmas/holidays is usually worse than the rest of the year for getting grief from omnis, because of all the 'traditional' food us veg*ns don't join in with eating. It's probably easier for your mother to convince herself you want to be vegetarian for some stupid reasons like copying someone else or losing weight, because that way she won't risk the possibility that you might have a point and she might have to think about what she eats herself...
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Gita</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
during the holidays you start understanding that food is more than what you eat-- It is highly unlikly she will "get it." Make sure she does not dress the noodles and bring your own container of sauce. Or talk her into having 2 versions, meat and non-meat. You never know when one of the guests is dieting, so you can call it the "low-cal" version.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br><br><br>
It's only me and my mother this year so there aren't gonna be any other guests like there usually is. I did buy my own sauce for the speghetti so I'm all set.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I think my mother is finally accepting it. She's asked me a few times to eat chicken (she says that's ok for vegetarians....lol) of course I refused. She's still worried that I won't get enough protein and stuff but at least she accepts it now.
 

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I am glad you mom is finally starting to understand where you are coming from and why this is important to you.<br><br>
(good job on refusing to eat the chicken!)<br><br><br><br>
As for the protein bit - there is alot of info on VeggieBoards on how to get plenty of that - but if you are eating a sensible plant based diet will be fine. I have been vegetarian for 14 years (currently I have been vegan for over a year) and I have never had any health problems. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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I'm glad it's settled down a bit. I know how you feel, when I told my Mum I was going veg she said "well you're stupid!". She can be a pretty harsh person though.<br><br>
Good news: she'll get used to it, she just needs time. I've been veg for a year and now my Mum buys me vegetarian cheese so that I can have cheese while I'm at their place.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Muffin_398</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
My mother just doesn't seem to understand that I really want to be a vegeterian (I'm doing this regardless of what she says or thinks...afterall I'm almost 20.) When I told her about my choice she asked me: " Who's the other vegeterian?" She actually thought that I was becoming vegeterian because I wanted too be like someone else. I don't even know any other vegeterians! Then later on when I thought she had accepted it we were talking about christmas eve dinner which is always speghetti. I mentioned that we had to get some sauce at the grocery store. She asked why cause she always makes some. I told her that there was meat in it so I couldn't eat it. She actually told me to cut it out!!!!! Can you believe it??? And today she actually asked me if I wanted to be vegeterian so I could lose weight!!! I'm 5'10 and 140 pounds!! I don't need to lose weight!! She's driving me nuts!!! She doesn't understand that I think it's cruel to eat meat</div>
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i am not even going to comment on your situation.....it is not that people don't understand, they don't WANT to understand...it is such a shame...<br><br><br><br>
print the attached and give it or send it to her..this way she can read it and you do not have to stand right there and have her yell at you for being YOU<br><br><br><br>
This is from a weekly column that I write.....many omnis (including my aunt and uncle) have emailed me or called me and said, 'Now I understand what you go through"...<br><br>
good luck!
<p> </p>

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<a
class="attachment loginreq" href="/attachments/0" title=""><span class="file "> <span class="details">0k . file</span></span>
</a></span>
 

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nice barry - i'm going to hang onto that.<br><br><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>barrylove</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
This is from a weekly column that I write.....many omnis (including my aunt and uncle) have emailed me or called me and said, 'Now I understand what you go through"...<br><br>
good luck!</div>
</div>
<br>
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>VeggieFrank</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
nice barry - i'm going to hang onto that.</div>
</div>
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thanks...it is really meant to help them understand us and that we are not EVIL! LOL
 

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"we will not compromise our values and no thinking person should expect us to"<br><br><br><br>
^ I like that line the best
 
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