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"Are you tired of living a normal, healthy life? Tired of things making sense and events happening in orderly fasions?...

...You need to join Veggieboards, where chaos is the natural state of things, and all your friends are screwballs!

Yes, Veggieboards...you may have seen a diamond ring, and you may have seen a phone call, but never in your life have you seen a Muppet Cow! I'm Travis, here today to tell you all about the wonders of the newest, most ingenious product to hit the market today. Veggieboards is partially pesponsible for many brighter lives, from it's involvement in the education of rising vegans, it's hand in the discovery of the lightbulb, to it's important contributions to developing a cure for the Ebola virus. Not only that, but Veggieboards has been awarded two Academy Awards and the Purple Heart from the armed services.

And you know, friends...hands are okay for chopping through wood...and feet are okay for breaking bricks, but if you really want to do serious damage to an inanimate object, you simply must get yourself a BuddaDragon. He punches, kicks, whirls around like a dradle, all while making quick jokes and showing you sensless pictures...

...And I ask you...what house would be complete without a vegan Anaconda spouting big words, or a Scarey Vegan coming after you to kick your ass? The kids love it!

Sure, you've all seen the cheap online imitations, offering defective entertainment and threads that you understand, for astronomical prices...$5.00 a month...$10.00 a month...even 12,000 yen a month...but now, if you take advantage of our offer today, you get unlimited access to threads about politics, vinegar, good looking girls, austrailians attacking Americans, Europeans attacking Americans, Americans dropping bombs on everyone they think may attack them, a Klown named Kamila, a Fae named Terra, aches and pains, sex, cars, and more!!...

But wait! If you mention this ad, we'll throw in pictures of guys, pictures of girls, pictures of dogs, cats, and gerbils...landscapes of places you wish you were, haircuts, noses, tree huggin' hippies...the list goes on!

And if you call within the next ten minutes, we'll throw in a bucket of Oxy-Clean, a set of Ginsu Knives, and a Food-Savr...why? Well, because nobody is buying them so we need to get rid of them.

All this for an unbelievable price...not $60.00, not $60.50, but just three easy, low payments of $20.10. Your products will be hand delivered by Snuggles the Cat and a real live Obsidian Zebra."

(disclaimer: veggieboards cannot be held responsible for the state of the Zebra or your products, due to the unstable temperment of Snuggles. veggieboards also will not claim resposibility for your survival as a result of meeting Snuggles. If you would like to report a snuggles attack, please contact Triumvir at 1-888-SNUGGLE. )

(Send payment to

Travis Williams

Seat 23, A Greyhound Bus

Somewhere in America, 00001

No checks or moneyorders, no COD's, please send in small bills, wrapped in duct tape. Expect 2-3 years for delivery. Please don't get your hopes up. If you would like to make a complaint, please contact Tame, or for your own sake, forget you were ever involved in this scam in the first place.)
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by MyOwnPath



And if you call within the next ten minutes, we'll throw in a bucket of Oxy-Clean, a set of Ginsu Knives, and a Food-Savr...why? Well, because nobody is buying them so we need to get rid of them.

I got Ginsu Knives for Christmas this past year and I love them. One of the best gifts I've ever received.
 

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Well, the additional prizes hold no interest to me: I have the knives, the Oxy-Clean, the food sealer (also the dehydrator, the flip-n-fold, the flat hose and I have been eyeing the Gator-grip and a few others as well as others).


....ask me how many of them I actually use on a regular basis. The knives are about the only ones.....
 
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