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Am I asking too much?

  • Yes, you are kidneylust your a freak.

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  • No, I understand and your not a freak.

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't like to be around any of it, don't like to go partying, don't like to go to clubs, don't like religion, don't like animal cruelity, don't like gangsta stuff, don't like brand name clothes, don't like mainstreem music, don't like fancy cars, don't like overconfident people, don't like mean people, don't like wasteful people, don't like lazy people, don't like any new horror movies, don't like t.v., don't like videogames, don't like myspace, don't like politics, don't like sodas, don't like greasy foods, don't like Mcdonalds, and hate social standards.

I do like music, art, poetry, movies, older or foreign horror flicks, indie and controversial movies, hippie music, inscents, animals, black light posters, reading, relaxing, playing tennis, going to shows, playing guitar and writing music, eating healthy, drinking only water, educating myself, calming sounds of the earth. ooh and key lime pie


oh and I want a girl who can fall into that category XD.
 
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where is the in-between category when you need it?

i think its nice to hope for perfection, but you might need to be flexible on some points.

the girl of your dreams might partake of the occasional organic vegan vanilla cream soda, and like a bit of deepfried tofu once in a while... it'd be a shame to miss out on a wonderful life with her cos she didn't perfectly fit your criteria... ya know?
 

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And she may like green tea as well as water! I think it's great that you know what you want, but don't box yourself in. Be open to all people. You may seem poles apart but have the same fundamental ethics. Good luck finding your miss right though. xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yeah I get you guys, I'm not really asking for all that just some of the main things, like I WILL NOT date a smoker, drinker, drug user, I don't really care what the girl eats as long is its not just fast food (don't wanna fall in love then have her die from a heart attack) I don't really care what they drink either but I don't wanna kiss coffee filled lips you know. Those are some of the major things I guess ooooh and she has to like animals, but my main problem here where I live is all the girls wanna be brand-whores you know where nothing but brand names and all those big glasses and junk and thats all they care about, I want a girl who isn't concerned with all that stuff and realize that their is an actual world out their and want to explore it with me. phew oh and I would really like the girl to be into the same music as me and respect that I'm a musician.
 

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I knew what you meant, I was just teasing about the tea thing.

I definately don't think you're asking too much at all. Nothing wrong with knowing what you want. I think if the girls near you are brand whores, you need to swim a little further out to sea. Annoyingly, you usually find that person when you're not looking.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidneylust View Post

I don't really care what the girl eats as long is its not just fast food (don't wanna fall in love then have her die from a heart attack)
But she's not going to have a heart attack when she's with you, it'll be the guy she's with 30 years from now, so let him worry about it
j/k

You seem to have very specific likes and dislikes. Because of this, you're going to find it very difficult to meet your 'ideal' person in the conventional way. People like yourself have much better luck dating online. It worked for me.

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I do like music, art, poetry, movies, older or foreign horror flicks, indie and controversial movies, hippie music, inscents, animals, black light posters, reading, relaxing, playing tennis, going to shows, playing guitar and writing music, eating healthy, drinking only water, educating myself, calming sounds of the earth. ooh and key lime pie
Put something like this on an online personals site and you might have some luck.
 

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I voted no.... but I'm also a sympathetic audience as I have a lot of the same likes and dislikes, and the same problems with meeting someone.

My advice: avoid online dating.
 

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Some of your concerns seem a little superficial to me, such as girls who wear labels. I guess if she dedicates herself to wearing the latest fashion it can be reflective of her values, but I wear some expensive clothing and I wouldn't exactly consider myself an airhead or total conformist or anything. (If those are your main concerns about it?)

Otherwise, it's really good you aren't just going to take whatever is on offer. God knows, I'm in no position to preach with my stupid demands.
 

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I think your lists are great for knowing you. But you will never find anyone else to fit into your lists. Sometimes opposites attract. I agree w/ the smoking and drugs part, I couldn't deal w/ that either. But as for what someone else eats and drinks, you might have to bend a little.

I don't think you are a freak at all. I think you are a sensitive guy who is finding out a lot about himself, that's great. If you aren't finding the kind of fish you are looking for, you may want to search a different pond. Where are you looking? I have always found that you never find love when you are searching for it. For some reason it has to sneek up on you when you least expect it. You'll find your dream girl, or she'll find you. Fear not...
 

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I don't know how old you are but a lot of these things seem quite juvenile. I think, as you grow older, you will see that love can be found in many different people; not just in those who are most like us. Would you really refrain from getting to know someone because you see them drinking coffee? Or if they enjoy horror movies? These are all very superficial nit-picks and that's surprising for someone who seems to hate superficiality.

The hard truth is that you are not ever going to find someone who mirrors you completely. And would that even been the ideal? Are you so insecure that you need to be around someone who doesn't ever challenge you ... who doesn't foster their own sense of self and independent identity?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidneylust View Post

Those are some of the major things I guess ooooh and she has to like animals, but my main problem here where I live is all the girls wanna be brand-whores you know where nothing but brand names and all those big glasses and junk and thats all they care about, I want a girl who isn't concerned with all that stuff and realize that their is an actual world out their and want to explore it with me.
See, this is another example of you being superficial about others' superficiality. Do you not think it is possible to possess both qualities? I certainly am one example of that. I love fashion and the ability to play with and change my appearance. I am far from a 'brand-whore' as I don't usually buy designer, but I enjoy clothing, accessories and makeup with passion. But that hardly negates my intellect, my strong sense of self and the causes that I champion for daily.

It may be that there are many thoughtful, passionate and intellegent women out there but because of some small 'defect' in character [based on your own judgement] you bypass them all. I am not telling you not to have standards. On the contrary. Knowing yourself enough to know that you won't be with a smoker, a drug user, and a religious person is great. It's when you start judging someone on very base and superficial interests such as the type of music or movies or beverages they enjoy that you end up becoming the very person you say you abhor.

The best part of a relationship, imo, is the opportunity for personal and shared growth. Don't be afraid to dig a little deeper.
 

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I used to have this friend in highschool who was all anti-conformist. One time she told me that she bought a skirt she really liked at the Goodwill and was later horrified to see a "GAP" lable on the inside, and returned it. She said it was because she wasn't obsessed with lables....



Anyways if anything I think you're asking too little. Unless you're just looking for a date to incenseblacklightpolooza.
 

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I definetly agree with Hangtenhoney. I am also very fashion-interested, love make-up and accesories. But that doesnt mean that I dont know that there is more to life..you know. People are so complicated..things like what movies you prefer, what clothes you like, is not important really. What is more important is how the girl behaves, attitudes, and her personality.
 

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I don't know how old you are either, but you reach a point in life where you stop making lists of things you like and dislike (right around when you stop doing those "get to know your friends" forwards, lol) - and you look to see who a person is inside, not what glasses they wear, not what beverages they drink.

Obviously it is perfectly reasonable to want a partner that does not do drugs of any kind. There are a lot of us out there ;-) I do not drink, but my husband does occasionally, and I don't mind it at all.

REmember, who YOU are will change with time too - you might become very interested in politics, you might suddenly realize you LOVE watching 24 with your friends, or "Lost" - even if you don't like TV normally ( I had no TV for years, and even still have no cable, but I enjoy watching a couple shows with friends now, its entertaining and a good social get together.) Don't be so rigid, don't compromise on the most important things - like respect, and compassion, etc - but everything else is just overkill and could prevent you from meeting someone who is really worth it. I have friends who wear designer stuff from time to time, they aren't the shallow hollow husks of humanity you might think they are, lol.
 

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I think there was some good advice here, but don't settle. Believe it or not there are lots of people out there and there are people who think similar to you. No matter who you find you are going to find imperfections in that person, and will never find a perfect match. The key is to find someone who matches all of your critical core needs, and many of the more superficial ones. Usually your best match is someone you would have least expected. The ones who match you well tend to blend in to society as opposed to standing out, making them harder to notice.

And never judge someone on the outside. Ever. That is sage advice.
 

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With my vote, it's now 50% you're a freak, and 50% you're not. :p

I don't think you are, I think most people are picky about who they spend their time with. You'll find someone who matches up with you when you're not looking.
 

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not that im not occassionally guilty of this myself, but (and i think im quoting jd salinger here) sometimes not conforming is conforming as much as anybody else.
 

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You actually sound like quite a cool person
I sometimes think i expect too much too and find it hard to meet someone who isn't just into beer and football...
so i can relate!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerks View Post

I used to have this friend in highschool who was all anti-conformist. One time she told me that she bought a skirt she really liked at the Goodwill and was later horrified to see a "GAP" lable on the inside, and returned it. She said it was because she wasn't obsessed with lables....

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hahahahaha

some people

surely anywhere has a label in thier clothes, even primark is a label!

anyhooo

I think youre being a wee bit fussy and judgemental.

Just because someone likes certain things you dont you shouldnt not bother with them! You'll miss out on so many amazing friends and girlfriends that way.

Not everyone who drinks and uses drugs is an alcohlic junkie!
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirate Ferret View Post

hahahahaha

some people

surely anywhere has a label in thier clothes, even primark is a label!

anyhooo

I think youre being a wee bit fussy and judgemental.

Just because someone likes certain things you dont you shouldnt not bother with them! You'll miss out on so many amazing friends and girlfriends that way.

Not everyone who drinks and uses drugs is an alcohlic junkie!
well i'm sorry but personally i wouldn't want to date someone who uses drugs either...not even pot, really, although i don't mind that so much. i would definitely NEVER go near anyone who used coke as it's totally immoral...

and i prefer guys who aren't big drinkers, just a bit of wine at meals, that kind of thing. Just thought i'd say that...
 
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