VeggieBoards banner

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
278 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My little sister was having a birthday party and I was celebrating with the 5 and 7 year olds. They were all attached to me, and wouldnt leave me alone, although I do enjoy the company. My mother and father started in saying that I better not teach them my <i>vegan ways</i>. Vegan ways? Like its a bad thing? They said that I shouldnt tell them about anything I do because they shouldnt know the truth. They need calcium from dairy, excreta.<br><br><br><br>
I grow sprouts and some of the kids wanted to try them. They devoured them all, I had no more left! So later after they left My parents started arguing with me again. They say that I <i>think</i> Im open-minded but Im really not. They also tell me that I preach<br><br>
And say things I <i>think</i> are right but really arent (because they are debatable) Most of my facts and opinions are concerning animal rights and environmentalism.<br><br><br><br>
They told me that I was no better than people who preach their Christianity and try to convert other people. Most of the time they dont even listen to what I have to say, though. Or they dont understand. And often times Im called hypocritical but they have no explanation.<br><br><br><br>
My mom is supposedly a vegetarian although she does eat lard laden things and wears leather jackets, eats fish, buys meat and cooks it (she often makes things with chicken and just picks it out so it goes to waste) ect. I dont see how she can do that but not consume animals?<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Am I wrong? I dont understand.<br><br><br><br>
I just got "Shut your mouth. You dont know anything." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":(">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,067 Posts
They just feel threatened by your vegetarianism because it puts their own support of exploitation into question. See them as struggling with their own choices and try to understand their nonsensical accusations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
I guess whether you are deemed to be preaching depends on how you approach talking about it. Do you talk about it if people ask you questions directly?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
385 Posts
Well.. new rule. Don't talk about it with them. Keep up whatever makes YOU happy. Don't discuss food with them. That's what I do with my parents about their eating habits, smoking, alcoholism.. etc. They don't want to hear that what they find "fun and relaxing" is actually going to get them badly hurt in the end. My mom already battled cancer, yet she keeps up these habits.<br><br><br><br>
Just be YOU. We'll support you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,260 Posts
Wow.... somegbody's closeminded. I suspect it's a lot like when I was a little kid and another kid did not want to share his candy bar so he told me, "Don't be greedy!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,610 Posts
When people find something they strongly believe in, it is normal to want to share their views with others. Veganism and religion are similar in that way. The main thing is that there is a huge difference between preaching and judging and sharing your views in an appropriate way.<br><br><br><br>
Your parents sound like they are really being jerks about your lifestyle and being unsupportive about something that you are really passionate about. That stinks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with <b>their</b> closemindedness....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
278 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Toilet Duck</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
I guess whether you are deemed to be preaching depends on how you approach talking about it. Do you talk about it if people ask you questions directly?</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I talk about it if people ask outside of home. At home I am a joke. My brother and dad are, well, rednecks. It doesnt really work out too well. Our beleifs calash.<br><br><br><br>
They make jokes about me, so of course I tell them how i really feel. Maybe it comes out wrong. Maybe I dont have a great vocabulary to tell them...but theres something they dont understand or some reason why they think they are right.<br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Well.. new rule. Don't talk about it with them. Keep up whatever makes YOU happy. Don't discuss food with them. That's what I do with my parents about their eating habits, smoking, alcoholism.. etc. They don't want to hear that what they find "fun and relaxing" is actually going to get them badly hurt in the end. My mom already battled cancer, yet she keeps up these habits.<br><br><br><br>
Just be YOU. We'll support you.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Thats a really good idea. I wont. Unless they ask me questions. Thank you!<br><br><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">When people find something they strongly believe in, it is normal to want to share their views with others. Veganism and religion are similar in that way. The main thing is that there is a huge difference between preaching and judging and sharing your views in an appropriate way.<br><br><br><br>
Your parents sound like they are really being jerks about your lifestyle and being unsupportive about something that you are really passionate about. That stinks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with their closemindedness....</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Thanks. My parents get these weird moments when they can be really supportive, and then the next minute they could be bashing me. "You wont get enough nutrients, not enough protein, and your too overdramatic...just drink organic milk they dont hurt the cows, blah,"<br><br><br><br>
I try to share my veiws in an appropriate way...I just always question myself because i dont want to come on as too judgemental or preachy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
385 Posts
If your old enough, try getting a job so you can buy some of your food. Even if it's just 2 or three days a week. Make it so they have nothing to complain about.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck!
 
Joined
·
11,550 Posts
i do think that it would be inappropriate for you to do something like tell a load of 7 year olds that dairy is bad for them/will kill them, say anything nasty about the party food in front of them, or enlighten them on the horrors of factory farming, purely because they aren't your kids, and therefore its not your place to educate them like this, and no good would come of it- they'd most likely freak out, get in a panic, refuse to eat dairy, be shouted at by their mummies, and then be told by their parents/everyone else that they meet that its all crap and be eating milk again by next wednesday. you'd do better to be positive, fun, and kind as a person, and hope they notice that kind of stuff, and that they come to you when they're at a point in their lives where they can make a difference, decide on their own diets, and deal with the ramifications/rewards (emotionally and physically) of the knowledge you have to offer.<br><br><br><br>
i don't know if you're preachy or closed minded, i've never met you, but if you do offer your opinions and wisdom to others unrequested, i can see why people would get annoyed- i do, when people try and educate me on why veganism is wrong, or on why i should beleive in god, etc. if i wanted to eat the most unhealthy vegan junkfood known to man, having someone educate me on its toxicity would spoil my denial and delicious tastebud experience, and just p!ss me off, to be honest, it's none of their business what i put in my mouth.<br><br><br><br>
.... but letting them eat sprouts and telling them (in passing, not as a lesson in nutrition) they've got loads of good stuff to help them grow up big and strong (or whatever) in them, isn't really anything i'd think was worthy of freaking about (unless someone had an allergy to something you sprouted, of course) adding 'eating sprouts is better than drinking milk, milk'll make you sick, and it hurts baby cows and mummy cows when you drink milk' to your chat about sprouts with the little kids, would, for example, be well out of order, in my books.<br><br><br><br>
but showing them how to grow their own sprouts would be quite cool... we used to grow them on paper towels, folded inside eggshells, when i was a kid, we'd draw smiley faces on the shells, and pretend the sprouts were hair (we were lacto ovo) and it was pretty cool and educational to see the little things grow, and to learn how to grow them, and to get to eat them.<br><br><br><br>
i wouldn't bother trying to get anywhere with your parents on this, or bother debating it further, for now- i don't think it'll get you anywhere right now. i might assess how i'm coming across though, and if it seems to them that i'm telling them what to do, or scoffing at their choices, i'd try not to, and would try to keep quiet on the subject of food and ethics while i'm living in/visiting their home. (i know its hard to let someone carry on when they're doing something that strikes you as stupid, wrong, hypocritical, etc, but it really is their choice and not your place to lecture them on it in their own house). it sounds like they're pretty closed minded or at least somewhat rilled up or defensive on the subject, so educating them.... thats just not gonna happen.<br><br><br><br>
i'd be inclined to nod, smile, look after myself, keep quiet about subjects that'll cause a riot, do what i gotta do to keep sane, let them get on with their own stuff, and move out as soon as possible, lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
278 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
GreenB I am old enough. I just dont have a car or any transportation besides my bike. I dont have many options around my house either. But I think I am going to find a job very soon so i can get some cash.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
278 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>hoodedclawjen</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
i do think that it would be inappropriate for you to do something like tell a load of 7 year olds that dairy is bad for them/will kill them, say anything nasty about the party food in front of them, or enlighten them on the horrors of factory farming, purely because they aren't your kids, and therefore its not your place to educate them like this, and no good would come of it- they'd most likely freak out, get in a panic, refuse to eat dairy, be shouted at by their mummies, and then be told by their parents/everyone else that they meet that its all crap and be eating milk again by next wednesday. you'd do better to be positive, fun, and kind as a person, and hope they notice that kind of stuff, and that they come to you when they're at a point in their lives where they can make a difference, decide on their own diets, and deal with the ramifications/rewards (emotionally and physically) of the knowledge you have to offer.<br><br><br><br>
i don't know if you're preachy or closed minded, i've never met you, but if you do offer your opinions and wisdom to others unrequested, i can see why people would get annoyed- i do, when people try and educate me on why veganism is wrong, or on why i should beleive in god, etc. if i wanted to eat the most unhealthy vegan junkfood known to man, having someone educate me on its toxicity would spoil my denial and delicious tastebud experience, and just p!ss me off, to be honest, it's none of their business what i put in my mouth.<br><br><br><br>
.... but letting them eat sprouts and telling them (in passing, not as a lesson in nutrition) they've got loads of good stuff to help them grow up big and strong (or whatever) in them, isn't really anything i'd think was worthy of freaking about (unless someone had an allergy to something you sprouted, of course) adding 'eating sprouts is better than drinking milk, milk'll make you sick, and it hurts baby cows and mummy cows when you drink milk' to your chat about sprouts with the little kids, would, for example, be well out of order, in my books.<br><br><br><br>
but showing them how to grow their own sprouts would be quite cool... we used to grow them on paper towels, folded inside eggshells, when i was a kid, we'd draw smiley faces on the shells, and pretend the sprouts were hair (we were lacto ovo) and it was pretty cool and educational to see the little things grow, and to learn how to grow them, and to get to eat them.<br><br><br><br>
i wouldn't bother trying to get anywhere with your parents on this, or bother debating it further, for now- i don't think it'll get you anywhere right now. i might assess how i'm coming across though, and if it seems to them that i'm telling them what to do, or scoffing at their choices, i'd try not to, and would try to keep quiet on the subject of food and ethics while i'm living in/visiting their home. (i know its hard to let someone carry on when they're doing something that strikes you as stupid, wrong, hypocritical, etc, but it really is their choice and not your place to lecture them on it in their own house). it sounds like they're pretty closed minded or at least somewhat rilled up or defensive on the subject, so educating them.... thats just not gonna happen.<br><br><br><br>
i'd be inclined to nod, smile, look after myself, keep quiet about subjects that'll cause a riot, do what i gotta do to keep sane, let them get on with their own stuff, and move out as soon as possible, lol.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
I didn't say anything to them involving veganism. They asked me why I wasn’t eating the pizza and cake, but I did tell them that I was a vegetarian. Nothing that would frighten a 7 year old! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D"><br><br>
Actually, one of the girls asked me what i was growing and I told her that it was sprouts. She said that it looked like grass, and that she wanted some. Some of the girls said that they eat grass frequently <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/laugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":lol:"><br><br>
Since they ate them all, I decided to make some more and they helped me.<br><br><br><br>
I really appreciate your long response! You’ve helped and I'll take your advice. Especially not argue about veganism with them or anyone else in my family, and just keep my mouth shut. I'll do what I think is right without all the hassle.<br><br><br><br>
By the way, I am moving out as soon as possible! =]
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
I agree with hoodedclawjen here. I certainly don't know the situation, but you have to be careful how you approach people. You don't want to be preachy or people will be turned off.<br><br><br><br>
As far as the kids go, 7 year olds aren't really old enough to understand and parents don't care so much for other folks influencing their children. Advertise through your actions and offer an explanation when people ask...which they will.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
83 Posts
Did you just recently become vegan? I see that you're 17, I started becoming vegetarian at 18 and my family was unsupportive. I'm 22 and they are more supportive now.<br><br><br><br>
GIVE IT TIME. If this is a new thing than that's probably why they are acting like that. They probably think it's a phase or something.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,887 Posts
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>eko291</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
Advertise through your actions and offer an explanation when people ask...which they will.</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
It sounds like that's exactly what she did.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,610 Posts
Actually, whether you are, or not "close minded" really dosent matter. You are allowed to choose Veganism, its beliefs, life-style, and even be preachy about it if you wish. You can be as radical as you want about something you believe in as long as it harms no one -- but someone is always going to disagree-- so disagreement in itself is no big deal. It is actually your choice to conform to their expectations. It seems that they have little respect for you going outside of their realm of experiences-- They seem like they are trying to manipulate you through shame, and that shows lack of respect. Working towards getting a job and out is what you are supposed to be doing anyway-- their dosent need to be a reason.
 
Joined
·
11,550 Posts
i wasn't trying to say that there is anything wrong with having beliefs, sharing them with others, and doing what you find is true to yourself, i think its definately very admirable, and something to be proud of.<br><br><br><br>
what i was trying to get across is that, right or wrong, blatently and loudly expressing your disagreement, wisdom and personal truth to your parents, in their house, when they aren't remotely receptive to listening and are quite opinionated about it themselves, when you're a dependant teen, eating food that they pay for, using their electricity and water, etc... well, at best, i think its gonna get you nothing but constant grief, at worst its gonna hasten your swift departure from their house.... quite possibly in a way which wouldn't be the most comfortable for the teen involved.<br><br><br><br>
i didn't find living with my parents to be great fun for much of my teens either (different reasons, but anyway), but while i wasn't ready to be out on my own, i dealt with it most effectively by nodding and smiling and being the voice of calm diplomacy, while maintaining my own moral code, often simultaniously thinking 'sod off' under my breath... i quickly learnt that doing anything else didn't get me anywhere i wanted to be!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
548 Posts
If you dont preach to your parents and they are the ones attacking you, then they are the ones who are closed minded and they are the ones with a problem.<br><br><br><br>
DOnt even discuss what you eat with anyone, and especially dont discuss the moral side of your veganism, unless of course you are talking to an open minded person who is asking questions and genuinly wants to hear your point of view. Most people dont care about your morals and ethics, and most people dont care about animals. Thats just how it is. They dont wanna hear it.<br><br><br><br>
If you already are like this and they still keep pushing you about it, dont have a reaction. If they make fun of you, completely ignore them. I mean literally dont say ANYTHING to it, act like they arent even in the room. They are probably only trying to get a reaction out of you anyway.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,691 Posts
As usual, I think hcjen's answer was great. I think I'm going to start campaigning now for hoodedclawjen as VB's Most Helpful for 2007!<br><br><br><br>
I don't understand what could possibly be considered closed-minded about exposing children to new foods and explaining their benefits. I think teaching them how to grow their own sprouts would be awesome and something they would probably find really fun and neat.<br><br><br><br>
What I <span style="text-decoration:underline;">do</span> think is closed-minded is the idea that there is only one correct way to approach advocacy of a cause, whatever that cause may be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
278 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">As usual, I think hcjen's answer was great. I think I'm going to start campaigning now for hoodedclawjen as VB's Most Helpful for 2007!</div>
</div>
<br><br><br>
Thats a really good idea!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/yes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":yes:">
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top