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I thought I'd reinvent this one from the vw. Just wanted to spread the word...

Americas on Sale

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!

attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses,

the up and coming classes,

attention sports-utility,

plastic-surgery suburbanites,

viagra-popping, gucci-shopping urbanites

attention george-clooney loonies,

promise-keeper sheep,

stockbroker sleep-walkers,

big investment talkers,

ricki lake-watchers,

attention walmart congregation,

shop til you drop generation,

ATTENTION NATION!

AMERICAS ON SALE!

Weve unstocked the welfare pantry

to restock the wall street gentry

its economically elementary

because values dont pay

yes, american dreams are on permanent layaway!

(there was limited availability anyway)

the statue of liberty is being dismantled,

$10 a piece to sit on your mantle or hang on your wall

by the small somalian child

you bought from sally struthers

sisters and brothers, its now or never,

these deals wont last forever-

AMERICAS ON SALE!

(restrictions may apply if youre black, gay or female)

And shoppers!

global perspective is ninety-ninety percent off

cause most of the world dont count to us.

our ethic inventory is low

because moral business has been slow,

the values-company is moving to mexico--

and ALL ETHICS MUST GO!

Its a remote control america thats on sale

because standing up for justice cant compare

to clicking through it from a lazy chair--

Answer: jerry, montel, oprah

Question: folks who really care!

for $1,000,000,000!

in this new mcveggie burger world order

where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme.

sugar daddy and ginger spice

and all cultures spliced and diced,

thats what music is made of when

AMERICAS ON SALE!

National health care is one-hundred percent off!

and medicare is in the 50% bin,

so you can buy--

half an operation

when AMERICAS ON SALE!

theres a close-out bid to determine which religion will win

all the neon flashing signs of sin.

the christian coalition is bidding high

shoppers, you ask WHY?!

who needs a higher power when youve got the purchasing power

to corner and market

one human mold.

Thats right- Real family values are being UNDERSOLD!!

And its open hunting season for the NRA!

theres a special oozie discount-- only today!

Gun control?! We say--

F**k it! Blow it all away!

welfare mothers are on the auction block again,

were closing out this country the way we began!

so step up for our fastest selling commodity

no waiting lines for HIV,

condoms and needle-exchange are a hard to sell thing

(to the right wing)

while Americas on sale!

Were selling fast to the AT&T CEO,

hes stealing all utilities, he doesnt pass go,

and collects all the money anyway!

hes the monopoly winner cause he bought the whole board

and we bought the whole game

now no price is the same!

Because inflation is up on the CEO ego

and power is deflated as far as we go:

Nike bought the revolution,

and law schools bought the constitution!

Tommy Hilfiger bought the red, white, and blue,

(a flag shirt for fifty dollars,

the one being burned is you!)

Marlboro bought what it means to be a man,

Lexus equals power- so get it while you can.

Maybelline bought beauty,

New Yorks buying Rudy Guiliani,

Mastercard Gold bought the national soul

Broadway bought talent and called it CATS!

the Republicans bought out the Democrats-

they liquidated all as*es in a fat white donkey sale-

now its buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free

in the capitalist party!

And theres nothing left to get in the way

of a full blue-light blow-out

of the U.S. of A!

theres a:

no-nothing back guarantee,

a zero-year warranty,

when you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles, lays..

this home of the braves, the chiefs, the reds, the slaves!

so call 1-800- i dont care about s**t

or www.F**K ALL OF IT!

to receive your credit for the fate of our nation-

(call now! interest is at an all-time low)

But hurry shoppers!

because americas being downsized, citizens,

and youre all fired.

--Alix Olson

http://www.alixolson.com/
 
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