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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>untold</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Why does it matter?</div>
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well, for one thing, if you are old enough to work you can move out.
 

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I don't think it was a snotty "God, how old are you to be whining like this." It was a genuine question asking your age, so people can give you appropriate advice based on your age.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I didn't think you were, I just was wondering how that could effect the situation.<br><br>
I'm in middle school, I don't think I can move out.
 

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True. This sounds like a very tough time for you. I had problems in Middle School too, where I did not feel like my parents really listened much to me and I felt like they were on my case all the time. I could not move a muscle without them being on my case, it seemed. Does he get on to you for specific things, or does he just argue with you no matter what you say?
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>untold</strong> <a href="/forum/post/0"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
It's started years ago. If he's not ignoring me, he's insulting me. Why should he get better now? He doesn't care and he never will.</div>
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All my life I've had to deal with some awful people. You never really can get away from that. Of course it would be great if we could wave a magick wand and make them all nicey nice but you can't..otherwise we would not have any wars going on. But back to you. Since you may be able to change what your dad is doing the only thing you can do is protect yourself.<br><br>
It sounds like you've got a strong personality and that is good. Hurtful words and actions can really tear someone down. Be good to yourself and remember this... Something is making your dad angry and upset. He is taking it out on you perhaps and that is wrong. This is not making excuses for him realize that some people behave and react to things going on in their lives that are hurtful because they are hurting..this does not mean it is right this just means some people do not have the skills to cope with problems in a more productive way.<br><br>
Are you involved with afterschool activities? Do you have hobbies?<br><br>
And of course talking to people that helps too.<br><br>
Try to get involved with something if you can that helps you but is also productive and not harmful. Like music or sports you know what I mean.<br><br>
I'm sorry you can't change your dad but realizing that he too is human and has problems and hurts and being able to deal with that and also helping yourself cope with his behavors towards you will help you in the future dealing with not so happy people.<br><br>
Well wishes towards you.<br><br><br><br>
Namaste,<br><br>
Jen
 

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My dad was like that too. And then my parents divorced and we basically don't hear from him anymore. Be glad that you at least have a dad in your life. Middle school is like a really bad headrush, just hold onto something solid and wait til it passes.
 

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As much as I hate advocating waiting for a specific part of your life to start...<br><br><br><br>
Middle school sucks when you don't like being at home because you're at home a lot. It doesn't really help right now to not have an immediate solution, but the older you get the more chances you'll have to be out of the house. Get a job as soon as you can, have an active social life, and persue your interests. If you stay busy, before you know it it'll be time to move out!!!
 

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what ages is middle school? I live in Australia, we have infants (age range 4-8), primary (age range 8-12), high school (age range 11-19) and then tertiary studies (nobody cares about your age by then, you're a legal adult and don't have to be there). But anyway, I am 16 and in my second last year of high school. Even though I can legally do anything except drink and vote (yes, even have sex and move out) my parents still have very tight control over me. Anyway, whenever life's a b**** to me i find that telling somebody helps. Also listening to music. Try not to lose your temper. Two wrongs don't make a right, you may feel worse if you do anything really bad. Just shut it out if you are gonna boil over. There will always be people like that. Grrr, isn't the world stupid?
 

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Who hasn't had a few problems with their parents at your age? I remember sometimes being pissed by the very fact my parents were home. And now I get on so well with them.<br><br>
Don't plan things too fast, they might very well get better soon, try to get through the bad moments now and see what happens next...
 

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I hated my parents when I was around your age too. Since you are too young to move out on your own, are you close to any relatives? Staying with a close relative for a few weeks or even a few months, depending on how comfortable you are there, might help a lot.<br><br>
I don't personally know your father, but I can tell you that saying you hate him isn't going to help. If there is no way out of the situation, remember that in a few years you can move out and that you can, if you decide to, never deal with your father again.<br><br>
When you get a bit older you might even start to understand better why your father is the way he is and your communication with him might improve. Until then realize that your father does support you. He gives you a place to live and food to eat and if he honestly thought you were worthless or hated you he would not do that.<br><br>
You could consider therapy, together or separately. I know it sounds scary, but again communication is a definite must.
 

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Chances are, eventually your dad will try and warm up to you later on in life. The exact same thing happened to me.<br><br><br><br>
When I was younger [about up until I was 7 or 8] my dad would drink <i>heavily</i> and up until I was 5 was pretty well into drugs. Until I was 13 I was given the message that partying and alcohol were more important than my mom, my sister and I. And a couple years after that, he calmed down and is still trying to make a solid father-daughter relationship with my sister and I.<br><br><br><br>
Is there anything specific he gives you trouble about? Maybe I can give you advice on it. I've been through alot [sometimes I think too much] in my life.
 
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