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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, it has been 3 months since my breakup, I remember how I was feeling at the time, I couldnt eat and I could hardly walk and was dizzy and disoriented for weeks, had to pack up all my stuff and move back in with my parents.. I couldnt even look at my exes name, and the sight of him made me feel incandescent with rage.<br><br>
Well, now I can report that I feel a lot better. I still feel really sad over the breakup, and confused, hurt, angry and all the other things that come with it. But I dont think about him all the time now, it is just odd moments of the day when these feelings pop up.<br><br>
So, that is how it is, and apart from the pain of missing all those animals, and some trust issues I definitely did not have before meeting him, I would have to say that I am reasonably recovered.<br><br>
Thanks to all you guys, you will never know how your posts sustained me throughout that awful time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":love:"><br><br>
Meanwhile I have to get on with my life. I am helping my mother out at the moment, as she has retired but still has a business running from home, and she is snowed under so I am helping out with that. I always hated formal employment anyway, so I am happy with this for a while..<br><br>
Feral kitten is getting bigger, Gypsy, we will be getting her to the vet for spaying soon.<br><br>
Anyway, now that it is 3 months on, I am thinking of looking for someone else. I dont feel 100% ready, but I am not getting any younger on the other hand, and I dont want to end up alone for the next year or so.<br><br>
It is a little more alarming being single when you are over 30, than I remember it being when I was in my 20s, let me put it that way.<br><br>
But I dont know how to meet men. I could try OK cupid. Or put on a mini dress, heavy makeup and hang around outside vegetarian restaurants. J/k on the last one.<br><br>
Anyway just writing to say thanks, and if anyone has suggestions, or advice, or wants to talk about their own breakup, whatever anyone wants to say.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes I have looked at one, but the guys on it dont look like my type. Also I dont know if I want to date an omni...
 

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there needs be no rush to meet someone else. your'e doing the right things. the farther you get from this, the easier it will be. one day you'll wake up and say "damn, it's so much better for me. i'd never want that again". and so you learn for the next time around.<br><br>
as for me, if i ever did it again, i know a whole lot more than i've known before. so far, i know enough to stay out of relationships <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>papayamon</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871637"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
there needs be no rush to meet someone else. your'e doing the right things. the farther you get from this, the easier it will be. one day you'll wake up and say "damn, it's so much better for me. i'd never want that again". and so you learn for the next time around.<br><br>
as for me, if i ever did it again, i know a whole lot more than i've known before. so far, i know enough to stay out of relationships <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">.</div>
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What do you mean by "stay out of relationships?" you mean altogether? Why?<br><br>
Part of the reason I am in a bit of a rush is because of my age. The being unmarried thing is getting to be a bit not my thing now. Im starting to feel like a spinster in a Victorian novel.
 

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Has it really been 3 months?? Wow! I remember that thread very clearly. I'm so glad you posted a follow-up. Usually we only see the threads of people in crisis, asking for help and support, but we rarely learn what actually happened. It's like in the media: it's mostly bad news, but it's nice to have a good story.<br><br>
I'm glad you're doing better. We all knew you would. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871647"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
What do you mean by "stay out of relationships?" you mean altogether? Why?<br><br>
Part of the reason I am in a bit of a rush is because of my age. The being unmarried thing is getting to be a bit not my thing now. Im starting to feel like a spinster in a Victorian novel.</div>
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Papayamon has a current thread open about one of his relationship issues. Perhaps you should just read it, instead of possibly starting a similar discussion here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><a href="http://www.veggieboards.com/newvb/showthread.php?124265-why-does-life-have-to-suck-so-much" target="_blank">Here it is</a>
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871647"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
What do you mean by "stay out of relationships?" you mean altogether? Why?<br><br>
Part of the reason I am in a bit of a rush is because of my age. The being unmarried thing is getting to be a bit not my thing now. Im starting to feel like a spinster in a Victorian novel.</div>
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well, maybe for me, yes. i never claimed to be mr. relationship. but for you, it's just whatever you decide. as far as being on your game though, if you're grabbing at it too hard, it will make it harder to find. if i meet a girl and she comes off as the least bit in a rush, i am going to run for the closest exit instinctually, and i think a lot of others do the same thing. 3 months just isn't a long time at all.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>dormouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871661"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Papayamon has a current thread open about one of his relationship issues. Perhaps you should just read it, instead of possibly starting a similar discussion here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><a href="http://www.veggieboards.com/newvb/showthread.php?124265-why-does-life-have-to-suck-so-much" target="_blank">Here it is</a></div>
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gee thanks. i appreciate the reference to my infamous thread. i'd like to point out that i was victimized there, and i wish everyone would just let it sink to vb oblivion. i keep hoping some mod will kill it.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871647"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
What do you mean by "stay out of relationships?" you mean altogether? Why?<br><br>
Part of the reason I am in a bit of a rush is because of my age. The being unmarried thing is getting to be a bit not my thing now. Im starting to feel like a spinster in a Victorian novel.</div>
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and really, time is about the worst reason to establish a long term relationship, because then you're looking for the next one vs. the right won. it's all about finding the right person. if i ever agree to do it again, you can better believe i'll think it was worth the wait.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>dormouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871661"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Has it really been 3 months?? Wow! I remember that thread very clearly. I'm so glad you posted a follow-up. Usually we only see the threads of people in crisis, asking for help and support, but we rarely learn what actually happened. It's like in the media: it's mostly bad news, but it's nice to have a good story.<br><br>
I'm glad you're doing better. We all knew you would. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><br><br><br><br>
Papayamon has a current thread open about one of his relationship issues. Perhaps you should just read it, instead of possibly starting a similar discussion here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)"><a href="http://www.veggieboards.com/newvb/showthread.php?124265-why-does-life-have-to-suck-so-much" target="_blank">Here it is</a></div>
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Thanks Dormouse, yes at the time I didnt think I would be able to feel better. It helps to be 1000 km away from him... I really did appreciate your help, and the help of other people on the board.<br><br>
As for papayamon, I thought that thread was about his problems with hooking up with a nurse... I dont mind him posting here about his past relationships.. as long as he doesnt start talking about raunchy hookups etc... : )
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>papayamon</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871677"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
and really, time is about the worst reason to establish a long term relationship, because then you're looking for the next one vs. the right won. it's all about finding the right person. if i ever agree to do it again, you can better believe i'll think it was worth the wait.</div>
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Yes, but I am at an age now when I am operating in a narrower time frame, in my 20s a 6 year break from dating was pretty meh, even a 5 year break. But It is not the same now. I turn 34 in September.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871682"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Thanks Dormouse, yes at the time I didnt think I would be able to feel better. It helps to be 1000 km away from him... I really did appreciate your help, and the help of other people on the board.<br><br>
As for papayamon, I thought that thread was about his problems with hooking up with a nurse... I dont mind him posting here about his past relationships.. as long as he doesnt start talking about raunchy hookups etc... : )</div>
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Oh ok. I just referenced it, because I know in that thread he talks more about how relationships aren't for him.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871687"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Yes, but I am at an age now when I am operating in a narrower time frame, in my 20s a 6 year break from dating was pretty meh, even a 5 year break. But It is not the same now. I turn 34 in September.</div>
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you got to be kidding me! you've got a few years easily before you need to worry about hooking up.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>dormouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871690"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Oh ok. I just referenced it, because I know in that thread he talks more about how relationships aren't for him.</div>
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let's let that thread be that thread. suffice to say i am a wonderful and honorable man worthy of any lady's affection. but no more comments about me. this is freesia's confidence building thread <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>dormouse</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871690"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Oh ok. I just referenced it, because I know in that thread he talks more about how relationships aren't for him.</div>
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Thank you, yes I remember now there were a couple of posts about his past relationships.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871647"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><br>
Part of the reason I am in a bit of a rush is because of my age. The being unmarried thing is getting to be a bit not my thing now. Im starting to feel like a spinster in a Victorian novel.</div>
</div>
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This concerns me. Why do you feel that you need to be married or in a relationship at all? Why can't you be happy and fulfilled on your own?
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>papayamon</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871700"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
you got to be kidding me! you've got a few years easily before you need to worry about hooking up.</div>
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I guess my life hasnt turned out the way I thought it would. I thought a whole lot of things, including marriage, would have happened by now, but everything has been delayed, by health problems, other problems, and not meeting the right person yet.<br><br>
I am not in a rush to meet someone as such, but I am in a hurry to get myself back into the dating arena. I dont think I can just yet but the second I can, Im there.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sequoia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871706"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
This concerns me. Why do you feel that you need to be married or in a relationship at all? Why can't you be happy and fulfilled on your own?</div>
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Because I want to be in a relationship, I dont want to be single.
 

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<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Freesia</strong> <a href="/forum/post/2871687"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br>
Yes, but I am at an age now when I am operating in a narrower time frame, in my 20s a 6 year break from dating was pretty meh, even a 5 year break. But It is not the same now. I turn 34 in September.</div>
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I was older than you when I decided to take a two year break from dating. The break is over with now.. but it was pretty easy to jump back into dating.
 

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you will find all sorts of willing men. that's never the challenge. the best thing to do is take enough space and clear your head, decide exactly how you'd like to make your life and work towards that. you might decide, for instance, to train hard and get yourself in the best shape ever. it's better for you if you've really got a good handle on yourself emotionally. 3 months is only the blink of an eye. what if you took an entire year and just focused on making yourself the best you can be, all on your own?
 
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