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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just found out i'm gonna have a Baby!! Even though i'm only seventeen, no job, don't go to school. Thats Nuts!! i do plan on finishing with home-schooling, and i was going to go to college in London. Now it all changed. AH, i haven't told my parents yet, i'm scared to break my moms heart. i have lots of questions though.<br><br><br><br>
1. I'm going to florida next week, if i go on rollercoasters will my baby be okay, i'm only two weeks pregnant.<br><br>
2. How do i tell my parents, there little girl is pregnant?, they don't even know i kissed a boy yet!!!! They kinda deny the fact that in one year i'll be an adult, and i know how to take care of myself, my parents work all the time, and when there not working there sleeping or cleaning, so my brothers and i know how to cook, and dress ourselves and whatnot.<br><br>
3. After breastmilk, is it okay to give children soymilk? Like formula or something, do they make vegan formula? I know alot, but i don't know how to raise children, especially vegan children.
 

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There doesn't seem to be "strictly vegan" soy formula available -- I think due to the addition of vitamins that are animal-sourced rather than plant-sourced. Plant source vitamins exist, but I think all commerical infant soymilk makers use animal-sourced vitamins for 1 or more vitamins (such as vitamin D, or vitamin A, or vitamin b12 which can come from either). Infants under a certain age should have breast milk as a first choice, and soy formula as a second, and should not have plain soy milk. I don't know why. Probably Kreeli knows why.<br><br><br><br>
I don't know about roller-coasters. I don't know how you should tell your parents. If you don't have your own place to live, and are living with them, they will need to know, eventually.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
whoa!!! Slow down. You have a *lot* of things to think about before soy milk.<br><br><br><br>
2 weeks pregnant? I recommend you wait 2 months before telling anyone in an authority position (parents, teachers, clergy). Nature has her own mind and your pregnancy may end. Miscarriages are very common in the first trimester, especially for your age.<br><br><br><br>
In the meantime, STOP all of the following activities: consuming alcohol, smoking, being around people who smoke, eating junk food.<br><br><br><br>
START doing all of the following: Eating extremely well. 5-10 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, 4-5 servings of calcium-rich foods, take prenatal vitamins.<br><br><br><br>
Have you told the father yet? And yes, he does have a right to know, unless he is violent and a danger to yourself or your unborn child.<br><br><br><br>
You need to decide if you are keeping the child. Adoption is an option and I strongly recommend you consider it. Being 17 and lacking any formal education or employment is hard enough, without the demands of a child.<br><br><br><br>
Then, you and this man have to tell both his parents and your parents. If he splits town, then you need to tell your parents yourself.<br><br><br><br>
As for talking to your parents, if it's past the 2 month stage - well, I wouldn't say "in one year, I'm going to be an adult" speech. Expect any or all of the following: name calling, "why? why?", "what the heck were you thinking?", "haven't you heard of a condom? the pill? saying no?", sobbing, cursing, silence, hyperventilation.
 

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I totally agree with Krista. There is so much you need to consider. If you and your bf won't be staying together (and even if you do stay together), adoption is the best choice. If you do, your child will be placed into a home with loving parents who will have probably been waiting for a child for a long time, but can't have their own.<br><br><br><br>
You need to start doing some research as well for vegan nutrition during pregnancy and to answer some of your own questions. I would see a doctor for a check-up and to help answer any questions you might have. If you can't see your own family doctor (due to it being on your parents' health insurance and/or one of your parents being there) then there are public services out there that offer free or low cost prenatal care (one organization is Planned Parenthood--a quick look in the phone book will help you find any others that might be in your area). Don't put off seeing a doctor. They can answer your questions, prevent problems, and will monitor you and baby's progress. (Since you are vegan, be prepared to argue with your doctor over your diet. They will probably tell you to at least go back to eating dairy and eggs, and possibly tell you to eat meat again.)<br><br><br><br>
As for raising vegan children, once you know (if) you will be keeping the baby, you can look up information for diet and health on several websites. Here are a few:<br><br><a href="http://www.vrg.org" target="_blank">www.vrg.org</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegfamily.com" target="_blank">www.vegfamily.com</a><br><br><a href="http://www.vegweb.com" target="_blank">www.vegweb.com</a><br><br><br><br>
Good luck. I hope you and your baby will be healthy and happy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
As a side note, it is possible to have a healthy, vegan pregnancy. However, if you are unable to maintain a vegan lifestyle during your pregnancy (for whatever reason), do not beat yourself up. Your life and the life of the unborn child are very important.<br><br><br><br>
Obviously, try your hardest to maintain veganism (as it is what you follow), but learn everything you can about nutrition.<br><br><br><br>
Again, I strongly urge you to consider adoption. There is nothing wrong with admitting that your child will have a better life with someone else. And it does not mean you love your child less.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.
 

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I disagree with tearsong that adoption is the best choice. There is no way to determine what angeldust's best choice is without getting to know angeldust and her abilities and desires, thoroughly.<br><br><br><br>
Personally, I would not want to see the child of a vegan mother adopted by non-vegan or non-vegetarian parents. Not unless the vegan mother was in a coma and unable to care for the child at all. I, of course, also want to see the child be brought up vegan.<br><br><br><br>
Also there is the option of finding "godparents" who may not be able to biologically have children, but who can help a partially incapacitated mother with child care, so that the mother can keep the baby, and the godparents can have the opportunity of contributing to the child's childhood. Completley severing all ties with one's baby is never a good idea, unless the mother is clearly incapable of taking care of the child at all. If a mother simply has difficulties caring for the child in some areas, but has abilities in other areas, she should get help from others, in the areas where she has difficulties, rather than completely lose the child just because she isn't perfect.<br><br><br><br>
But as far as we know, angeldust has no disabilities whatsoever, in regard to being able to care for the child.
 

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Angeldust: I would highly recommend going to the nearest Planned Parenthood. they will be able to give you all the support and information you need.<br><br>
Good luck.
 

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Two weeks pregnant??!!!!???? Have you taken a pregnancy test to confirm this? It is possible to have a false positive, I reccomend that you get yourself to a free clinic or planned parenthood. Take another pregnacy test and get thee to a DOCTOR even if the test shows you aren't pregnant, do yourself a favor and get BIRTH CONTROL and save yourself the trouble of worrying about getting pregnant. A skipped period can mean more than just pregnancy. At 17, it is not uncommon to have an irregular period.
 

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i think that soilman is right, to the extend that we do not know what is best for angeldust.<br><br><br><br>
but, there are lots of options and lots to think about. First, i would go ahead and get on a pregnancy diet and greatly increase my folic acid (beans!) intake. This prevents most birth defects.<br><br><br><br>
Also, after only two weeks, this could be a skipped period which could be stress related, health related, etc. So, it may not be a pregnancy at all. So, like krista stated, i would wait a bit.<br><br><br><br>
Angeldust, Your parents will be upset and distressed, potentially angry about this occurance, assuming you are pregnant. It is not what they wanted for you--and i have to admit it will put a wrench in a lot of your plans and the hopes and plans they have for you.<br><br><br><br>
BUT, that doesn't mean that you won't be able to get an education or that you're stuck. A friend of mine had a baby at 17, has graduated from medical school as a pharmacist and is doing quite well. This december, her daughter turns 10, and of course my friend supports them both herself.<br><br><br><br>
Of course, in order for her to do this, her parents and she lived together until she finished her schooling--about 8 years--and they helped with the child care and expenses. Her father worked full time, her mother worked part time, and my friend worked part time while going to school so that they could support themselves and the child. Ultimately, it worked out for them, but it was hard work and sacrifices for everyone.<br><br><br><br>
Sometimes adoption is a good option, and though no one mentioned it, for some people abortion is the right option. i don't support abortion myself, but i support any person who makes the a decision in this regard. You do have lots of options.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck!
 

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angeldust please have a look at this site:<br><br><a href="http://www.girlmom.com" target="_blank">http://www.girlmom.com</a><br><br><br><br>
it has stories from lots of teen and young moms, it is a supportive, empowering place, and even has message boards where you can find friends and moms in positions just like yours.<br><br><br><br>
just because you are young does not mean you will be a bad mom. just because you are young does not mean you "ruining your life" by having a baby. the pitfalls that many young mothers experience are often due more to the way society treats them, and how hard the world makes it for them, than their age.
 

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Angeldust, I wish you the best of luck and second everything Krista said. It is very common to lose pregnancy in the first trimester so SERIOUSLY do not tell anyone for another 2 months. I was about 3 weeks pregnant and made the mistake of telling my immediate family and 3 days later I miscarried. It is very hard to go back and tell people that now you're not. Especially in your case since your parents will have a lot to come to terms with.
 

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I think if/when you tell your parents really depends on your relationship with your parents. I have a pretty good relationship with my p's and when my I found out I was going to be a single dad, I told them the next night. I needed someone to talk to. As lovely as this message board is, I hope you have better sources for advice and solace.<br><br><br><br>
As to the more important issue, I'm guessing Disneyworld is going to be fine at 3 weeks. But for your baby's sake, don't take my advice, GO SEE A DOCTOR.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
*hugs*<br><br><br><br>
Take care of yourself and you will in turn be taking care of your precious gift. No matter when it happens, a baby is a blessing! Sure, it may be hard and there are lessons to learn. But everyone is in a constant learning space, no matter if they acknowledge it or not, no matter what age. Good things are going to happen throughout your life and this is one of them! Don't let <b>anyone</b> take your joy of giving life to another precious soul!(because there will be those out there who will inadvertently cause you to feel down by giving unsolicited advice).<br><br><br><br>
Anyhow, please keep us updated!<br><br><br><br>
Bless you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/grin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":D">
 

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I want to emphasize again, that you need to get prenatal care asap. I also recommend carefully considering all of your options while you still have time, be it keeping your child on your own, with the help of specific family members, adoption, open adoption, or abortion. I agree that your values not ours should ultimately determine what you decide. But I think that information, information, information is the basis of any sound decision. Talk to as many people as possible so that you can be prepared and know what to expect. I am also sure there are people here who can recommend great books on how to properly care for a child.<br><br><br><br>
A baby is a very special and romantic event. But one doesn't just have to take responsible for and make decisions in regard to a possible future baby, but also a future 1 year old, a future 2 year old, a future 3 year old, a future 4 year old, a future 5 year old, a future 6 year old, a future 7 year old, a future 8 year old, a future 9 year old, a future 10 year old, a future 11 year old, a future 12 year old, a future 13 year old, a future 14 year old, a future 15 year old, a future 16 year old, a future 17 year old, a future 18 year old, *inhale*and if you support him or her through college- future 19 year old, a future 20 year old, a future 21 year old, a future 22 year old, and if they don't get a job right away, you'll have to care for.. Well you get the picture. We often talk about having a <i>baby</i> no one says, "I'm having a teenager!" I'm trying to make the point that is more than a baby you will bringing into the world, but a person with an entire lifetime to bring you joy as well as grief and everything in between. It's a big, big, deal.<br><br><br><br>
I wish you confidence, strength, and perseverance the best for everyone involved whatever happens.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thalia,<br><br><br><br>
You left out...<br><br><br><br>
a future 23 year old who can't pay off student loans and moves back in, a future 24 year old, a future 25 year old who loses their job and can't move out...<br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/images/smilies/smiley.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title=":)">
 

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Don't worry about fast rides! My mom went on roller coasters when she was pregnant with my brother and he turned out just fine.<br><br><br><br>
Good luck with everything. I hope it turns out for you.
 

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Kreeli writes:<br><br>
============<br><br>
the pitfalls that many young mothers experience are often due more to the way society treats them, and how hard the world makes it for them, than their age.<br><br>
===========<br><br><br><br>
I pretty much agree with Kreeli. And Kreeli is, err, the mother of all mothers (does that sound right?), so you can rely on what she says.
 

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By the way, as thalia said, information is the basis of any sound decision. With that in mind, you might want to put off your trip to Florida next week, and instead spend time in front of the computer, and in libraries, learning about pregnancy, vegan child-rearing, ways of getting assistance, or non-assistance, with pregnancy, labor, and childbirth, facts about breast-feeding. You can't start too soon. 8.6 months will be gone in no time.<br><br><br><br>
If you don't make educated choices yourself, others may make choices for you, and they may not be the best choices. Do you want to give birth in a hospital or at home; do you want a ward experience in a hosptial or a special homey hospital birthing center; do you want an MD supervised pregnancy and birth or a nurse-midwife supervised assistance program, with MD's on call as needed? Or do you want to do the whole thing by yourself, (with tons of education first)?
 

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I find it odd that though Angeldust1926 asked only three questions (roller coaster, how to tell parents, soy milk formula) people are giving her all kinds of un-asked for advice, including whether she should keep her baby or not!<br><br><br><br>
Don't some of you think you're being more than a little presumptuous?
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
She's going to need to think of these things before she tells her parents. The fact that those are the three pressing questions she has tells me that she hasn't thought this through and will not have the answers when she is asked.
 
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