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  Topic Review (Newest First)
02-01-2005 01:48 AM
epski In addition to all her other assets, my wife is probably the hottest woman I ever dated seriously, and ever so beautiful on the inside.



That's why I married her!
01-31-2005 06:51 PM
holly golightly
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post




Also, there seems to be such a hideous double standard here. I can wax poetic about say, a certain film star, and (for the most part) not be accused of being shallow. Furthermore, if the man in a relationship has these feelings that many of the women here have expressed (doubt, hurtfulness, etc.), society really says that he just has to suck it up and deal with it. That is, it appears more acceptable for men to be viewed as sex objects than women.



But that is another thread....



actually i thought quite the opposite. i didnt like the OP for that very reason. he seemed to be very proud of himself and thinks he's very manly for wanting young hot girls while women remain sensible and go for nice, normal looking guys, or guys with "great personalities". please. i dont personally know any, not even one woman, single or not that wont turn her head at a nice ripped guy who takes care of himself instead of drinking beer on a couch all day. i dont think anythings wrong with a guy who appreciates beauty. i know my husband does, when im around or when he's just with the guys, as i do as well. it doesnt make me part of some sort of elite, i am woman, i am huntress due to biology club.



also there have been many times where guys im hanging out with comment on hot actresses-no biggie, the females usually chime in with agreement or disagreement not judgment on the guy. when the girls do it the guys almost always get insecure and say said guy is gay or say that we are not being ladylike. i had exes call me a slut when i commented on a hot actor (they commented on hot women to me all the time).
01-31-2005 06:20 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kreeli View Post





i'm starting to feel a little like maybe there should be some kind of VB orgy...in newfoundland.



as long as you don't tell my family WHY you are in NF, I can get free accomodations for everyone
01-31-2005 04:30 PM
GhostUser I very much enjoy looking at a beautiful woman, or a beautiful man, but they don't arouse sexual feelings in me. I've been sexually attracted to only a few men in my lifetime, and it was never based on looks. (I take that back - in junior high, I had a secret crush on a Latino guy in my class, and more than 50% of that was based on looks. )



It's human nature to appreciate beauty, whatever form it takes, but that appreciation does not have to be sexual.
01-31-2005 03:35 PM
Marie
Quote:
Originally Posted by renaissancesun View Post

Naw. Sometimes they just look reeeeaaaallly good.



Like Jude Law.
01-31-2005 03:13 PM
NaturalChick I don't understand the men whose only real value for women is sexual. So, while I understand Rev's sentiments about beautiful women, and I think they're fine, I would simply say BEWARE the man who has no female friends! My husband has female friends of all ages, shapes and looks and he totally digs them and respects them. I think a lot of men give off the impression that they're pissed off by women who don't give them erections. Being attracted to pretty young women only makes you normal.



I'd like to think that by the time I'm old my husband will still see me as young and beautiful because of the years we've spent together being best friends. Who knows though...
01-31-2005 02:57 PM
xrodolfox I don't think that admiring good looks is the problem.



I think that the problem is in the objectification of looks to the subjagation of everything else.



When a world is only full of people that are magazine cover deap and cannot function in relationships (from the mundane to the intimate), then we have a problem. When companies hijack our subconscious by innundating us with images of ideals which distance us from the real and isolate everyone who is not airbrushed, then we have a problem. In the world I live in-with TV commercials, Unhealthily skinny magazine airbrushed models, where sexy is made at age 12- there is a problem.



But when I look at a pretty boy or girl and admire their prettiness lustlessly I can see no problems.
01-31-2005 02:56 PM
Qwerks This seems to be a rather touchy subject...I've been looking at real estate today so instead of talking about men, I'll share my thoughts on condominiums.



The first thing I notice about a condo is how it looks. If it's ugly there's no way I'll make an offer, and when looking at a selection of condos I'll immediately start researching the best looking ones first. Now alot of them are out of my price range so I may just look up the MLS listing to see the photos and imagine what it might be like to live there, but I spend no time actually persuing them. I probably would look at some of them seriously if they weren't out of my league though, so long as they weren't ridiculously overpriced.



The next thing I look at is function. It's got to be laid out to suit my lifestyle, and have enough and the right kind of space to accomodate all of my habits and quirks. I also want to determine that if I buy the condo, it is within my means to keep it up, ie I can afford all of the fees and have all of the necessary skills to repair/clean it, etc. So I'd want to make sure that I'm as good for the condo as it is for me.



I also want a good condo to have some sort of feature that would probably encourage me to better myself, like a place to work out or a nice spot where I'll feel good about working on all of my ambitions.



So although the way a condominium looks is important to me, I'm not going to buy one just because it's attractive, nor will I reject one because it's not beautiful. If it's just plain ugly, though, I wouldn't want to live there. If it is gorgeous but impractical, I could be inticed to spend a few evenings there without making a purchase.
01-31-2005 02:22 PM
IamJen
Quote:
Originally Posted by renaissancesun View Post

Naw. Sometimes they just look reeeeaaaallly good.



Yep. I'd love to believe that women are somehow more elite in their admiration of celebrities...but watching Chocolat the other night with my roomie, I'm pretty sure neither of us were thinking "wow, that Johnny Depp, he's quite the thespian"
01-31-2005 02:07 PM
xrodolfox
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

I don't know how to say more without hurting the men's feelings on this board. Everything we say is "sexist" so <shrug>



The thing is vggiegirl, is that you might offend someone, in so much that your points are clumsily put forth, at best.



I still don't know what your point is. Perhaps if you actually wrote down what you thought instead of laying into one post or another, you might actually make some sense. I would love to listen to what you have to say (if you have anything at all to say).
01-31-2005 02:05 PM
renaissancesun
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

I think for the most part it's because when a woman admires a film star, <generalization> we take into account the acting ability, how good looking they are (not just if they have perfect tits and a "model" body), how their perfomance in a roll effects us, etc </generalization>





Naw. Sometimes they just look reeeeaaaallly good.
01-31-2005 02:02 PM
vggiegirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamJen View Post


Also, there seems to be such a hideous double standard here. I can wax poetic about say, a certain film star, and (for the most part) not be accused of being shallow. Furthermore, if the man in a relationship has these feelings that many of the women here have expressed (doubt, hurtfulness, etc.), society really says that he just has to suck it up and deal with it. That is, it appears more acceptable for men to be viewed as sex objects than women.



But that is another thread....





I think for the most part it's because when a woman admires a film star, <generalization> we take into account the acting ability, how good looking they are (not just if they have perfect tits and a "model" body), how their perfomance in a roll effects us, etc </generalization>



I know many women who think that Sean Connery is the bees knees. He is not tradionally "sexy". He doesn't have ripped abs or anything like that...



I don't know how to say more without hurting the men's feelings on this board. Everything we say is "sexist" so <shrug>
01-31-2005 01:57 PM
IamJen
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

So does your wife know that you picked her because she makes you feel better? Does she know that you compare her to your old flames and she doesn't measure up? From your reasoning, you find the steroptypical woman prettier than your wife. Nice...I'm sure she'd be honored



So much to think about here.



I think that of course one's mate should make them feel better. Why else would you want to be with them? Rodolfo clearly is not saying this in an "I'm better THAN you" way, but rather that "I'm better BECAUSE of you". We should all be so lucky. I mean, really, isn't that a big part of what love is? That is, feeling better when you're "with" that someone, than when you're not.



As far as the stereotypical idea of beauty..... Not everyone can be the best, lol. I'm self-aware enough to know that no one is ever going to confuse me with Halle Berry. For a s.o. to think that she's prettier than I am..well, duh. She is. What I read earlier from Rev (which he since clarified) was that a man would *only* want someone who fits this ideal, which left the other 95% of us in quite the quandry.



Now, I still want to be with someone who wants/desires me, but I don't think it's necessary for them to lie and say that they don't find beautiful woman attractive. I would expect that they *not* drool on the table as one of the other posters described, but that is just having good manners.



Also, there seems to be such a hideous double standard here. I can wax poetic about say, a certain film star, and (for the most part) not be accused of being shallow. Furthermore, if the man in a relationship has these feelings that many of the women here have expressed (doubt, hurtfulness, etc.), society really says that he just has to suck it up and deal with it. That is, it appears more acceptable for men to be viewed as sex objects than women.



But that is another thread....
01-31-2005 01:48 PM
Conundrum As we become adults many of us I think have had a personal "superfine" that at one time or another we gravitated towards. When the fantasy becomes reality judging the quality of the experience is inherently subjective. When I was younger, I found that the novelty of aspiring towards this fantasy wears thin. Maybe all fantasies that are repetitively fulfilled lose their luster? Even though some of the women I was with were physically gorgeous, at the end of the day they were human beings just like me. No one is perfect and seeing most people early in the morning will confirm this. After 15 years of marriage, I don't think about these experiences too often. My wife remains very pretty to me, we still turn each other on – perhaps we no longer qualify as anyone's "superfine" but shabby chic suits us well.
01-31-2005 01:05 PM
eggplant
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

IMO, anything is perfectly okay and acceptable in fantasyland. It is only by actions and real intentions that we can judge a person.







The Rev



Yes, I agree. Based on my experience, I also think there's a lot more variation in what men and women fantasize about than most people, and the media, give them credit for. I wonder, how much of the prevalence of the stereotypical "fantasy woman" or "fantasy man" is based on biology and how much is based on conditioning?
01-31-2005 12:57 PM
Kreeli
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post

kreeli:



my husband would prbably give you lots of attention. he generally doesn't go for 'round' girls (as he calls them), but he'll also say 'goodness, she's hot' which is what he usually says when your avatar pops up.



so, i think you'd have to have a switch in hand if he came around. . .but then, he likes a switch, so you'd have to be extra careful.



around here, bigger is better. there's a preference for it.









i'm starting to feel a little like maybe there should be some kind of VB orgy...in newfoundland.
01-31-2005 12:52 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverC View Post

Rev, I'm curious. You said that you haven't been able to get the same feelings currently, as you had with your old teenaged gf. Couldn't this be because she was your first/one of your first sexual partners, and not simply a matter of her being a young girl? I mean, when you are first exploring sex, everything is great and feels fantastic, because it's new. It wouldn't have really mattered how old your partner was, you'd always remember that experience fondly because it was your first. I'm sure if she had been a Mrs. Robinson, you would have felt the same way about her.



That IS a good point. Back in High School, my sexual experience could be measured in months. The novelty factor still weighed pretty heavily and there was still that, "OMG, I'm actually getting some!!" feeling that you get when you're a teenage boy. The girl I'm thinking of was not my first, but fairly close. I was also a teenager, and had about four billion times the hormones I do now, too, so THAT played a role.



I think that, when I look at young pretty girls of that age group, alot of the allure in their appearance probably stems from good memories of my youth, as much as from any straight forward sexual attraction. Never underestimate the power of nostalgia.







The REv
01-31-2005 12:45 PM
Cherry Head
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

I normally let this kind of criticism go, but I have to take exception with the accusation that I have no respect for women or my daughter. I used the word Barbie because 1) it would draw interest to the thread and, 2) many people who have prejudice against women who are attractive try to play them off as stupid or worthless and refer to them as Barbies. In "Legally Blonde" for example, Reese Witherspoon's character is refered to as Malibu Barbie by the Harvard students before they get a chance to know her.



I love and cherish my daughter. And my feelings about her looks extend to pride, only. It makes me feel proud to know that so many people think she is so beautiful. It also makes me feel proud to know that there are beauties in her even more impressive than what's skin deep, and that I have had the chance, and have the love for her, to have seen them. She is a girl of enormous personal character, in addition to being bright, a real sweetheart, and fun as hell to be around.



Kiz, you were way out of line to say this about me, and I strongly recommend you go back and read some of my posts so that the next time you make uncomplimentary remarks about me, you know what you're talking about.







The Rev



Very well stated!



01-31-2005 12:45 PM
vggiegirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

I normally let this kind of criticism go, but I have to take exception with the accusation that I have no respect for women or my daughter. I used the word Barbie because 1) it would draw interest to the thread and, 2) many people who have prejudice against women who are attractive try to play them off as stupid or worthless and refer to them as Barbies. In "Legally Blonde" for example, Reese Witherspoon's character is refered to as Malibu Barbie by the Harvard students before they get a chance to know her.



I love and cherish my daughter. And my feelings about her looks extend to pride, only. It makes me feel proud to know that so many people think she is so beautiful. It also makes me feel proud to know that there are beauties in her even more impressive than what's skin deep, and that I have had the chance, and have the love for her, to have seen them. She is a girl of enormous personal character, in addition to being bright, a real sweetheart, and fun as hell to be around.



Kiz, you were way out of line to say this about me, and I strongly recommend you go back and read some of my posts so that the next time you make uncomplimentary remarks about me, you know what you're talking about.







The Rev





Normally I am super sensitive to these sorts of threads as my posts will show. I get really irritated, etc. I really like the Barbie thread though...I honestly thought it was sweet. Although I can't stand the attitude of "Oh woe is me. I'm so beautiful...feel sorry for me"

But I got what you were saying out of that thread and it was good
01-31-2005 12:43 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rev View Post

Well, aside from a very reasonable caveat against paranoia, I would say that any young girl who posts her picture on the internet should be cautious (and all the other women, and most of the men, too, for that matter).







The Rev



I'd also like to add that is it VERY dangerous to be posting your address and phone numbers if you are under 18. It's bad enough posting them as an adult, let alone as a youth.
01-31-2005 12:40 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiz View Post

Because he does not repect women. Simple. What kind of man would refer to his stepdaughter as a "Barbie" if he respected her on any other level than that she had a cute bod?



I normally let this kind of criticism go, but I have to take exception with the accusation that I have no respect for women or my daughter. I used the word Barbie because 1) it would draw interest to the thread and, 2) many people who have prejudice against women who are attractive try to play them off as stupid or worthless and refer to them as Barbies. In "Legally Blonde" for example, Reese Witherspoon's character is refered to as Malibu Barbie by the Harvard students before they get a chance to know her.



I love and cherish my daughter. And my feelings about her looks extend to pride, only. It makes me feel proud to know that so many people think she is so beautiful. It also makes me feel proud to know that there are beauties in her even more impressive than what's skin deep, and that I have had the chance, and have the love for her, to have seen them. She is a girl of enormous personal character, in addition to being bright, a real sweetheart, and fun as hell to be around.



Kiz, you were way out of line to say this about me, and I strongly recommend you go back and read some of my posts so that the next time you make uncomplimentary remarks about me, you know what you're talking about.







The Rev
01-31-2005 12:31 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by msbunnicula View Post

But I think that you're missing the fact that Rev is talking about how he felt about that girl when he was in high school (that he was more or at least more easily aroused when he was in high school than he is now). I don't think that he is saying that a 16 year old is getting him off now.



Quote:
Originally Posted by organica View Post

Au contraire- I believe that's *exactly* what he's saying. Where is he so we can get the truth?



Just for clarification, yes, I was talking about my feelings that I had then, and the memories I have now of those feelings.



If I was with a High School girl sexually, at my current age, I would feel pretty creepy and probably couldn't get it up. However, there ARE many girls my daughter's age that I look at, think about, and have fantasies about because they look so good.



IMO, anything is perfectly okay and acceptable in fantasyland. It is only by actions and real intentions that we can judge a person.







The Rev
01-31-2005 12:27 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by meatless View Post

From the sounds of this, the young girls who post their pics in the photo album should be a little cautious.



Well, aside from a very reasonable caveat against paranoia, I would say that any young girl who posts her picture on the internet should be cautious (and all the other women, and most of the men, too, for that matter).







The Rev
01-31-2005 12:26 PM
Cherry Head
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

So does your wife know that you picked her because she makes you feel better? Does she know that you compare her to your old flames and she doesn't measure up? From your reasoning, you find the steroptypical woman prettier than your wife. Nice...I'm sure she'd be honored

ok, I think what he meant to say when he said how she makes him feel, he ment something along the lines of love. You're messing with his words. He's only mentioning old girlfriends for the purpose of this thread.
01-31-2005 12:25 PM
xrodolfox
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

So does your wife know that you picked her because she makes you feel better? Does she know that you compare her to your old flames and she doesn't measure up? From your reasoning, you find the steroptypical woman prettier than your wife. Nice...I'm sure she'd be honored



My wife picked me and I picked her. We both know why we chose each other: because both of us are better people together than apart, and both of us want the best for ourselves and the world around us.



My wife is what I want in my life. I am shallow, so I make mental notes of looks all the time. I do the same with regards to people's intelligence, speed in swimming, and ability to make me laugh. Those mental notes change as my relationship with that person changes. So... in some ways I do know how my wife "stacks up" to exs. Big deal. Everyday I am reminded of why I love my wife. Everyday I could leave, but everyday I am more and more happy that I am with her.



ps. My wife was certainly pretty enough to catch my attention. But when I look at her now, knowing who she is, it isn't just her looks that I see. In total, she is more beautiful than anyone I have ever known. My wife is by most people considered prettier than the norm. It is just that a few of my ex's were more like "model" beautiful (6"+, boxum, perfectly symmetrical faces, etc..) than my wife is. That is just plain fact. In simple pictures, they would sell more perfume. But pictures don't tell the whole picture.



A pretty face doesn't make a good relationship. Pretending that several of my ex's didn't fit the stereotype incredibly easily would be dishonest.

Realizing that it is who my wife is, and not her looks that I am in love with is much more authentic. Because of that reason, I know that I will always find my wife beautiful; wrinkles and all (when they get there).
01-31-2005 12:23 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin_Sword2Sky View Post

Doesn't it make you incredibly uncomfortable that grown men like Soilman see girls like your step daughter as a way to an erection, Rev?

How young are we talking? I think there is a huge difference between young girls and young women.



I used to go to the gym with her when she was still in High School, and it blew me away all the different ages of guys that would stare at her. There would even be these old gross guys who obviously had a certain degree of distrust for soap who I would find staring at her butt. It always reminded me of the movie, "The Babysitter" with Alicia Silverstone. She was this 16 year old girl who was just this oblivious kid who never realized how much of the lives around her revolved around her looks, the envy of older women toward her, and the lust of older men.



It didn't bother me too much, as none of these Nastanderthals ever hit on her, or otherwise embarrassed her. If they had, I might have had a problem. However, the one time I warned her about a "friend" of ours (a gross dude who dated a coworker of my S/O), she just smiled, nodded, and said, "I've been to alot of bars. I know how to handle myself." I suppose I would like to believe that I'm the only one who knows the score, and that I need to protect her, but it just ain't so.







The Rev
01-31-2005 12:22 PM
Marie I have to say..



I'm a woman (duh ).. and hell yeah, a hot 20 year old guy will turn my head. I won't apologise for that at all. Call me shallow.. I don't care.
01-31-2005 12:17 PM
Marie
Quote:
Originally Posted by vggiegirl View Post

So does your wife know that you picked her because she makes you feel better? Does she know that you compare her to your old flames and she doesn't measure up? From your reasoning, you find the steroptypical woman prettier than your wife. Nice...I'm sure she'd be honored





wow.. guys can't say anything right.
01-31-2005 12:14 PM
VegKitten84 Okay, I'll be the first to admit readily tearing into mean who seem shallow . . .but damn, vggiegirl, give the guy a break for cripe's sake!
01-31-2005 12:12 PM
vggiegirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by xrodolfox View Post


I have dated several women who fit the social stereotypes and norms of what is "sexy". Although they were fun in the sack, that just isn't enough for a relationship. A good relationship can open doors, and it has been only with my current wife that I have felt that. My wife is beautiful, but she isn't a "model" quite like my ex's. And that is fine. I didn't ask my wife to marry because she is pretty; but because of how she makes me be when I am around her. I asked her to marry me because I am a better man when I am with her.



I still find women who fit the steroetypes more attrative than the ones that don't. That isn't a factor of my "manhood". It is a factor of my inherent vanity and shallowness. However, I still know that in the life of my heart, in my intimate life, it is the authetic relationship that I crave more than any eye candy. I can lust after a pretty package, but I still know that the true treasures lie obscured.



So does your wife know that you picked her because she makes you feel better? Does she know that you compare her to your old flames and she doesn't measure up? From your reasoning, you find the steroptypical woman prettier than your wife. Nice...I'm sure she'd be honored
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