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  Topic Review (Newest First)
07-19-2015 06:27 AM
Vegan Dave RebeccaXO -

Congrats on going vegan!!

A true boy "friend" would support your decisions.

Like SILVA said.... It isn't that he doesn't respect your choices, it's that he doesn't respect YOU.

If he doesn't support you in this, you have to wonder how deep his commitment is after all.

Mocking you and ridiculing you is totally uncalled for. I would calmly explain why this is important to you, and get him to decide to support you, or not. If he can't stand behind you, I'd get another boyfriend. Like maybe a vegan!!
07-18-2015 11:41 AM
imagineaa Sounds like this dude doesn't have basic social skills and basic respect for you.

Waiving meat in your face in front of his friends and not buying groceries for you is super childish and bullying. What normal person denies someone else groceries? This isn't really about the food--it's something about his underlying lack of love and respect.

If you've done all you can to work this out and he still can't develop basic social skills and basic respect for you, you have a big decision to make.
07-18-2015 04:41 AM
LedBoots
Quote:
Originally Posted by no whey jose View Post
Want to braid each other's hair and talk about bringing down the patriarchy? [emoji6]
Sure! I'm down!
07-18-2015 02:15 AM
AppleandMango
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessandreia View Post
I think she didn't like people telling her to leave her boyfriend...
Probably... Guy sounds like a jerk
07-17-2015 12:52 PM
glancy He is abusive. Dump his ass.
07-17-2015 10:25 AM
jessandreia
Quote:
Originally Posted by leedsveg View Post
I think to be fair to the OP, all we know about her is that she has not posted again since that initial post. There could be any number of reasons why that is.

Lv
I didn't mean to sound rude or unfair when I said that... and yes, there could be other reasons.
I just think it could legit be the reason why. Even though from an outside position I agreed that she should leave him, I think that if I was in her position I would not have wanted to hear that.
07-17-2015 06:05 AM
leedsveg
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessandreia View Post
I think she didn't like people telling her to leave her boyfriend...
I think to be fair to the OP, all we know about her is that she has not posted again since that initial post. There could be any number of reasons why that is.

Lv
07-17-2015 12:49 AM
no whey jose
Quote:
Originally Posted by LedBoots View Post
I am clinging to this thread, though, being female and all.
Want to braid each other's hair and talk about bringing down the patriarchy? [emoji6]
07-16-2015 07:38 PM
jessandreia I think she didn't like people telling her to leave her boyfriend...
07-16-2015 07:32 PM
Brain Floss Yeah definitely want to know how this turned out...hope she's doing ok.
07-08-2015 06:29 PM
silva @RebeccaXO How you doing?
07-08-2015 06:11 PM
LedBoots I am clinging to this thread, though, being female and all.
07-08-2015 02:24 PM
Beautiful Joe The OP hasn't posted since her initial post, so I suspect we're talking to each other here.
07-08-2015 01:49 PM
silva I'd like to again point out that it's not about her boyfriend not respecting her being vegan, but about him not respecting HER, as an individual.

That won't get better, and I totally disagree that she needs to work it out anymore than she has already, and it sounds clear that she has.

The sooner she learns to respect herself first the sooner she learns to look for relationships where respect is mutual.
There's much worse than being alone
07-08-2015 01:08 PM
jessandreia Every one who has replied to this thread has agreed that she should leave him (although, that's obviously easier said than done), because due to her post it doesn't seem like it's going to get better; I mean, she says she's already given him enough time to get used to the idea, and tried to explain it to him. No one here told her to just take it. But, saying that she's not taking veganism seriously just because of her boyfriend's attitude is an exaggeration.
07-08-2015 11:49 AM
Vidal Pierre
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zack View Post
I disagree with this sort of advice. Of course, he doesn't seem like a great boyfriend and it's easy for us to tell her to dump him. But how do you expect her to do that? They live together. And even if it WAS entirely necessary for her to dump him, I have two problems with that.

1. She's probably not going to, because the circumstances of life would make that way too difficult. Also, humans, particularly females, tend to be a bit clingy. It's not always emotionally possible to dump someone, even if it is logically the right thing to do.

2. I feel like the more harshly we react towards omnivores, the more we will push them away. I am a meat-lover who only converted due to the habits of my girlfriend, and the fact that I take morality seriously. I would never have changed if she were rude about it or tried to force me. That would just raise my psychological defenses and make me want to continue the behavior that I'd been raised to believe was acceptable.

You catch more flies with honey...

Its not about being rude but taking your beliefs seriously and not letting someone mock you just because you happen to be more moral than them (Yes more moral lets not beat around the bush) If I was in that position where someone waved meat in my face and disregarded my lifestyle choice (when I'm not even imposing it onto them in a rude manner) I would indeed dump the person, if I didn't I either had no respect for myself or was stupid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessandreia View Post
I really don't see how this shows she's not taking veganism seriously. If she's eating vegan and living a vegan lifestyle, she's taking veganism seriously.

She's also not having respect for herself - not in a cruel way but she deserves more respect than have a ''Man'' that waves meat in her face and laughs and says ''you're sensitive'' WTF that's what Children do.


I just want my choice to be respected as well. How can I deal with this?


So I'm guessing if you people who replied to me your response to her is ''take it on the chin''???


NO!

You deserve better if he doesn't buck up you leave him for a Man that will respect you.
07-07-2015 04:07 PM
jessandreia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vidal Pierre View Post
Dump him, and I'm dead serious the treatment of animals is important and disrespecting you on such a level that you have to make a post on a public forum is ridiculous.


Educate him, if he doesn't seem to grasp the idea of why people go Vegan then dump the heartless brainless fool.


Its beyond me why you would stay with him actually and in a way it shows that you are not taking Veganism seriously (I understand this sounds harsh) if a religious person stayed with a partner who consistently mocked the persons beliefs then it would mean the person doesn't have strong belief in that religion...


Such a emotive issue...
I really don't see how this shows she's not taking veganism seriously. If she's eating vegan and living a vegan lifestyle, she's taking veganism seriously.
07-07-2015 03:13 PM
Zack
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vidal Pierre View Post
Dump him, and I'm dead serious the treatment of animals is important and disrespecting you on such a level that you have to make a post on a public forum is ridiculous.


Educate him, if he doesn't seem to grasp the idea of why people go Vegan then dump the heartless brainless fool.


Its beyond me why you would stay with him actually and in a way it shows that you are not taking Veganism seriously (I understand this sounds harsh) if a religious person stayed with a partner who consistently mocked the persons beliefs then it would mean the person doesn't have strong belief in that religion...


Such a emotive issue...
I disagree with this sort of advice. Of course, he doesn't seem like a great boyfriend and it's easy for us to tell her to dump him. But how do you expect her to do that? They live together. And even if it WAS entirely necessary for her to dump him, I have two problems with that.

1. She's probably not going to, because the circumstances of life would make that way too difficult. Also, humans, particularly females, tend to be a bit clingy. It's not always emotionally possible to dump someone, even if it is logically the right thing to do.

2. I feel like the more harshly we react towards omnivores, the more we will push them away. I am a meat-lover who only converted due to the habits of my girlfriend, and the fact that I take morality seriously. I would never have changed if she were rude about it or tried to force me. That would just raise my psychological defenses and make me want to continue the behavior that I'd been raised to believe was acceptable.

You catch more flies with honey...
07-07-2015 12:48 PM
Vidal Pierre Dump him, and I'm dead serious the treatment of animals is important and disrespecting you on such a level that you have to make a post on a public forum is ridiculous.


Educate him, if he doesn't seem to grasp the idea of why people go Vegan then dump the heartless brainless fool.


Its beyond me why you would stay with him actually and in a way it shows that you are not taking Veganism seriously (I understand this sounds harsh) if a religious person stayed with a partner who consistently mocked the persons beliefs then it would mean the person doesn't have strong belief in that religion...


Such a emotive issue...
07-07-2015 09:36 AM
River Dtmfa.
07-06-2015 03:56 PM
Zack Doesn't exactly sound like the world's greatest boyfriend. I don't know if this will be easy for you, but I think that you should confront him directly and tell him that this is not okay. You are making a sacrifice in your life to do what you believe is right.

If he wants to disagree with you, then that's acceptable. But for him to mock your core beliefs is unfair. Surely, he would be offended if you were to offensively mock his religious or other deeply held beliefs. So he should be capable of understanding that you feel the same about your core values.
07-03-2015 03:03 PM
Brain Floss He sounds like a grade-A jerkwad. Dump him. That should not be tolerated. You tried to compromise and accept his way of living, why is it so hard for him to accept yours?
07-03-2015 02:47 PM
SteveW Give him an ultimatum, say if you don't accept me for being a vegan then I'm outta here.
07-03-2015 10:55 AM
LeThieu92 The fact he wants to eat meat certainly isn't the problem, but the fact that is is so ignorant to even consider respecting your choice is just wrong. If you can't get on a "agree to disagree" level there is no future in your relationship. Though considering what he already said and does I don't think it's worth sticking around for.

Envoyé en utilisant Tapatalk.
07-03-2015 05:26 AM
Tiger Lilly Let's say, for a moment, that your boyfriend isn't as bad as I'm reading he is....

Let's say when he says "humans need meat" (and variations of, by not being accommodating of vegan friendly meals either during the cooking or buying of food process) he actually means "I care about you. I don't want you to get sick".

And let's say, waving animal carcass in front of you is his way of saying "I'm insecure about the fact you're going to change. Eating animals is ingrained in my identity, society tells me eating them makes me more of a 'man' and you not eating animals makes me think about uncomfortable things".

Let's say we give him benefit of the doubt, that he's doing this stuff with the best intentions but in the worst possible way (which every one does at least once, unless they're an incredibly boring person incapable of making mistakes). Then you need to talk to him about it and tell him it's not cool. Whether he means to or not, he's disrespecting you and that needs to stop. It doesn't matter what age you're at, that's a lesson everyone needs to learn and as soon as possible if they want the benefits of being in a grown up relationship.

That's not to say I think you're misrepresenting your relationship to us. Personally, I think he might just be a disrespectful little punk (and not punk in the cool way) who needs to learn right now, that treating any partner like that is going to lose him someone special.

Either way, if it were me, I would hope that I would pack my bags and leave.....I say 'hope' because it's hard to leave any relationship. But, he seems really disrespectful and the fact he gets 'angry' when you're just exercising your own right to eat what YOU want to eat.....Eh, not something I find appealing.
07-03-2015 04:22 AM
Shallot Knowing nothing about your situation apart from that you live together and that he is being really mean (he's disrespectful, he makes fun of you in front of friends, he's ignoring your choices and trying to force you to live the way he wants you to). I'd say you have to draw a line in the sand and clearly state that you're not prepared to be with someone who treats you so badly. All you're really asking from him is that he refrains from trying to humiliate you in public and treats you respectfully. These are not big or unreasonable asks. If he can't deal with it you may have to ask yourself if you are prepared to put up with this behaviour - because it won't change unless he agrees to change.
07-03-2015 04:06 AM
no whey jose I agree with everyone else. This guy isn't treating you right, and it's got nothing to do with your diet. Why stay with someone who mocks you? If you feel like being charitable, I suggest you tell him frankly that the way he's acting is hurtful and that you won't put up with it. Give him a chance to explain himself and to alter his behaviour. If he doesn't, leave.
07-02-2015 07:13 PM
rasitha.wijesekera If he's really as bad as it seems from your post, you should reconsider the relationship. Trust me I've seen my parents relationship where My dad is disrespectful to my mother. It will rarely get better.
07-02-2015 06:56 PM
LedBoots Do you plan to have children with this man? If so, realize that he will treat them the same way he does you, but more so.
07-02-2015 04:33 PM
shellie I normally suggest people try to be patient when their loved ones don't understand vegetarianism but in this case it isn't that he doesn't understand, he doesn't seem to care. I wouldn't want to stick with someone like that. You've got to establish some boundaries with him concerning what is acceptable and what isn't regarding food choices.
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