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  Topic Review (Newest First)
01-09-2010 07:44 AM
Mufflon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Just because looks are important to you doesn't mean they're important to everyone. You shouldn't assume people are being dishonest just because they disagree with you.

This.



I think what makes it so hard to accept the "I don't care much about looks" statement is that we're living in a culture that focusses on physical appearance. To some people it seems to be kind of unbelievable that one can think of someone as attractive who doesn't meet society's current standard of beauty.
01-09-2010 07:39 AM
Mufflon
Quote:
Originally Posted by IrieMama View Post

When looking for a 'mate' they have to have a good personality and be attractive to my standards. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow

I don't think it's shallow wanting to have a mate that you find attractive.



---



However, I personally think it's quite naive to assume that all people are attracted to the same physique or personality traits. That is why I think this "overweight/obese people aren't attractive per se"-dribble is completely wrong. Different people think of different attributes as attractive, even though a lot of people don't seem to be able to imagine that.
01-09-2010 06:27 AM
Mufflon
Quote:
Originally Posted by yally View Post

I don't get it, why would 5000 people post new pictures of themselves where they don't meet the website's standards? They've already got in, why post something that's going to get them rejected? FIVE THOUSAND people made this mistake in a month? What the hell?

This.



I also wonder how much people need to "let themselves go" to gain so much weight over a short period of time that it morphs them from "hot and thin" to "fat and ugly". I put on weight quite easily but even if I would stuff myself without end during two weeks (i. e. X-mas and New Year and maybe already a few days before) I wouldn't be able to gain so much that you could see it on a picture.
01-07-2010 10:02 PM
GhostUser
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie View Post

Sometimes down and dirty ugly guys are kind of hot... like Lemmy.



he he, you sicko



Quote:
Originally Posted by SomebodyElse View Post

Looks don't matter to me when I care about p

eople, and looks aren't what make me care about people. I mean, for the people who say it is important to them, what if your hot husband or wife gets half their face burned off in a car accident? Will you stop loving them? I hope not, because of all the things that make someone worth loving, what they look like should be on the bottom of the list. If it even makes the list at all. Still, there are plenty of marriages that break up because one spouse got "too fat", the wife loses a breast to cancer, the husband becomes paraplegic, etc. I guess that's when you find out you never had a relationship to begin with. At least, not one based on anything truly meaningful.



yeah, too right.
01-07-2010 08:36 PM
SomebodyElse
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanie View Post

I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

Looks don't matter to me when I care about people, and looks aren't what make me care about people. I mean, for the people who say it is important to them, what if your hot husband or wife gets half their face burned off in a car accident? Will you stop loving them? I hope not, because of all the things that make someone worth loving, what they look like should be on the bottom of the list. If it even makes the list at all. Still, there are plenty of marriages that break up because one spouse got "too fat", the wife loses a breast to cancer, the husband becomes paraplegic, etc. I guess that's when you find out you never had a relationship to begin with. At least, not one based on anything truly meaningful.
01-07-2010 07:48 PM
Werewolf Girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiemeggie View Post

That model was later fired for being too fat.



http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle...g_too_fat.html



5'10 and 120 pounds huh? Yeah I can totally see why they fired her, what a fatty.
01-07-2010 07:45 PM
Werewolf Girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanie View Post

I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

It just comes across as dishonest. Looks do matter to me, but that doesnt mean that person has to have "cover girl" looks.



Wait, I'm confused. Did anyone here actually say that looks didn't matter to them at all? I've been reading through the posts and I haven't found a single person who has said that.



I'm one of the people who said looks don't matter that much because I meant it, there's a difference between looks not mattering 'that much' and 'not at all'



My whole post was about how personality and charisma are so much more important to me than just physical appearance so I'm pretty confused by the way you interpreted what I said.
01-07-2010 05:48 PM
veggiemeggie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post

Well I'm relieved that person isn't really like that, she looks on the verge of crumbling into dust.



But still, gross, she looks so sick and wrong that it almost makes it more bizarre that the photo was intentionally manipulated for that effect. Grossing people out is a terrible way to convince them to buy your clothes.



That model was later fired for being too fat.



http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle...g_too_fat.html
01-07-2010 05:23 AM
Marie Sometimes down and dirty ugly guys are kind of hot... like Lemmy.
01-07-2010 02:31 AM
stanie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post

Well, I can't speak for anyone else but looks really aren't that important to me, so what can I say? I AM being honest.



Maybe you got the impression that saying looks don't matter that much is the same as saying looks don't matter at all? If someone has an amazing personality but they smell bad and have dandruff and bad breath and warts or something then no of course I won't feel sexually attracted to them, but that's a pretty extreme example just to make a point here.



I just find it strange people will say looks dont matter that much (which you are saying looks do actually matter) but wont comment that other things dont matter that much.

It just comes across as dishonest. Looks do matter to me, but that doesnt mean that person has to have "cover girl" looks.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists. And what is considered ugly to one person could easily be beautiful to another. Like I said before, it's a highly individual assessment. Someone else might have found the woman I saw at the gym and thought of as homely beautiful because she was in such great physical shape. I'm not saying that's an untrue assessment of her looks either. Two people can look at the same person and come away with completely different ideas of their physical attractiveness.



So why even bother bringing the ugly women up? What was the point?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?



Hmm, attractive? I can see men and think theyre good looking, but im not attracted to them.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

I agree with you, physical attractiveness and beauty are definitely two separate things.



I have seen several men who I would consider "ugly" in the face that I found physically attractive for other reasons (like being in great shape, or being...er...gifted).



Doesnt that come in the firefly (sorry firefly) shallow category?
01-07-2010 01:56 AM
Identity_thief If your vain enough to join a website for "beautiful people" (and stupid enough to think they're going to find a worth while relationship with someone who's idea of a good partner clearly rests on physical attraction and a very narrow idea of beauty) and it kicks you off for putting on weight or getting ugly well that's fair enough as far as I can see.



The websites very clear about it's philosophy, and these are probally people who've kicked off other women and men for being too fat or too ugly (soon as there is a peer-rating system for getting in), so I don't think they deserve any sympathy.
01-06-2010 10:48 PM
SomebodyElse
Quote:
Originally Posted by suchgreatheight View Post

Seriously? You have never even begun to find any film actors or male models sexually appealing? At all? I don't think this is the common experience.

I think there is a difference between being able to recognize and appreciate human beauty, and feeling physical attraction. I don't know any male models or film actors in person, so I can't say I feel physically attracted to them, because pictures don't do anything for me. If I were to find an image of someone beautiful, I still doubt that I would feel any attraction, in terms of actually wanting to jump their bones, so to speak, in their physical presence unless I knew them well enough to discover that they possessed other qualities that I find attractive. I know there are plenty of people who don't need anything except instant lust at first sight for someone they find 'hot" to jump right into their pants, and that is fine. It's just not me.



As to whether that is the common experience, you'll get no arguments from me. I am one of the strangest oddballs you'll ever come across, I'm sure.
01-06-2010 03:15 PM
Werewolf Girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

It is photoshopped, and it became quite infamous as an example of the extents to which Ralph Lauren were willing to go.



Well I'm relieved that person isn't really like that, she looks on the verge of crumbling into dust.



But still, gross, she looks so sick and wrong that it almost makes it more bizarre that the photo was intentionally manipulated for that effect. Grossing people out is a terrible way to convince them to buy your clothes.
01-06-2010 03:11 PM
Sevenseas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post

Sevenseas that picture is disturbing! I wish it was photoshopped but I guess it probably isn't, ugh.

It is photoshopped, and it became quite infamous as an example of the extents to which Ralph Lauren were willing to go.
01-06-2010 03:08 PM
Kellye
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

Many of them, but not as a necessary consequence of not being physically attracted to them.



I agree with you, physical attractiveness and beauty are definitely two separate things.



I have seen several men who I would consider "ugly" in the face that I found physically attractive for other reasons (like being in great shape, or being...er...gifted).
01-06-2010 03:06 PM
Sevenseas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post


So you find absolutely no men to be ugly to your estimation?

Many of them, but not as a necessary consequence of not being physically attracted to them.
01-06-2010 02:58 PM
Kellye
Quote:
Yes, but depending on the person, lack of physical attraction for someone doesn't need to mean ugliness. Friendship exists and so lack of friendship exists, but that doesn't mean anyone who's not a friend is a hated enemy.



That's true. But it can potentially mean ugliness (at least in the individual's perception) if the person finds said someone unpleasant to look at.











No difference?



Quote:
And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?



So you find absolutely no men to be ugly to your estimation?
01-06-2010 02:57 PM
Sevenseas And really, as a hetero male I don't really find most men physically attractive. Does that mean I think men in general are ugly?
01-06-2010 02:50 PM
Sevenseas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists.

Yes, but depending on the person, lack of physical attraction for someone doesn't need to mean ugliness. Friendship exists and so lack of friendship exists, but that doesn't mean anyone who's not a friend is a hated enemy.
01-06-2010 02:50 PM
Werewolf Girl Sevenseas that picture is disturbing! I wish it was photoshopped but I guess it probably isn't, ugh.
01-06-2010 02:46 PM
Kellye
Quote:
There's a difference though with the reality of physical attraction and the categorizing of some people as plain ugly.



If physical attractiveness exists, it's reasonable to assume that lack of physical attractiveness also exists. And what is considered ugly to one person could easily be beautiful to another. Like I said before, it's a highly individual assessment. Someone else might have found the woman I saw at the gym and thought of as homely beautiful because she was in such great physical shape. I'm not saying that's an untrue assessment of her looks either. Two people can look at the same person and come away with completely different ideas of their physical attractiveness.
01-06-2010 02:46 PM
Sevenseas Hey Firefly, I think I just found a perfect woman for you



I'm not sure if she's veg*n, but you could always try to contact her and find out. Here she is:

01-06-2010 02:42 PM
Sevenseas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

You're right - it's entirely possible Stanie doesn't have any sense of physical attraction whatsoever.

There's a difference though with the reality of physical attraction and the categorizing of some people as plain ugly.
01-06-2010 02:40 PM
Werewolf Girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanie View Post

Thats not shallow, youre being honest, and wish more people here would be.



Well, I can't speak for anyone else but looks really aren't that important to me, so what can I say? I AM being honest.



Maybe you got the impression that saying looks don't matter that much is the same as saying looks don't matter at all? If someone has an amazing personality but they smell bad and have dandruff and bad breath and warts or something then no of course I won't feel sexually attracted to them, but that's a pretty extreme example just to make a point here.



I've always found that personality and charisma are what make a person hot and not just their outer shell, there are a lot of celebrities who might be considered conventionally ugly if you just saw them on the street but when you see them performing and full of energy and confidence they become the sexiest person alive to me. (David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Marilyn Manson, and yes Adrian Brody!)



And it works the other way too, I've dated some men that I found extremely physically attractive at first, conventionally handsome and in good shape and all that, but then they turned out to be giant *******s and once I discovered how ugly and petty they were on the inside all sexual attraction just withered away like a deflating balloon, I wouldn't have touched them with a ten foot pole if they had begged me.



I remember when Dave Navarro got his reality show with Carmen Elektra, I had always thought he was incredibly sexy when I just saw him onstage with his black nail polish and eye liner, but then I saw who he was as a person and he wasn't hot and mysterious at all! He came off as this whiney self obsessed fashion whore who was more concerned about choosing a shirt that shows off his pecs than making good music, now every time I see him I feel no attraction, I just hate him and his stupid little goatee and think he looks like a jerk.



No one is saying that looks are totally irrelevant, of course we all have eyes and libidios, I'm just saying that it's not the most important thing at ALL nor should it be. For me it's all about the personality and charisma, THAT'S sexy.
01-06-2010 02:29 PM
LiveVegan I don't see anything wrong with this. Just like I don't see anything wrong with kicking some guy off a vegetarian dating site for eating flesh again. The same with race and sexual orientation. I'm straight and I wouldn't blame someone for kicking me off a gay dating site. The same holds true for religious dating sites and all that. I wouldn't want anyone personally from that dating site in question just because I like people that see past looks. But that's just me. If Mr. and Mrs. perfect want to get together, what do I care?
01-06-2010 01:52 PM
Kellye
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevenseas View Post

That sounds like the same kind of projection that stanie is doing (i.e. "if you say you don't think/feel like X, then you're dishonest").



You're right - it's entirely possible Stanie doesn't have any sense of physical attraction whatsoever. He just doesn't believe anybody else could possibly think like that - also entirely possible, but highly unlikely.
01-06-2010 01:52 PM
stanie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Physical attractiveness doesn't matter for much, but it certainly does exist whether you're willing to admit it or not.

If it doesnt matter for much, why do you keep bringing up the ugly people situations?





Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post


Unless they disagree with you, and then you see a target.



This what you were supposed to be replying to; In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.
01-06-2010 01:50 PM
Sevenseas
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

whether you're willing to admit it or not.

That sounds like the same kind of projection that stanie is doing (i.e. "if you say you don't think/feel like X, then you're dishonest").
01-06-2010 01:34 PM
Kellye
Quote:
People are being dishonest, and youre a great example! You keep talking about "ugly" people, but then try to claim appearance doesnt matter.



Physical attractiveness doesn't matter for much, but it certainly does exist whether you're willing to admit it or not.



Quote:
In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.



Unless they disagree with you, and then you see a target.
01-06-2010 01:31 PM
stanie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellye View Post

Just because looks are important to you doesn't mean they're important to everyone. You shouldn't assume people are being dishonest just because they disagree with you.



People are being dishonest, and youre a great example! You keep talking about "ugly" people, but then try to claim appearance doesnt matter.

In my every day life i dont see "ugly" people, i just see people.
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