One damned leather jacket - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 05-14-2008, 12:11 PM
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*sigh* This has been quite the journey for me. I'm a recent vegetarian, and a brand spanking new vegan. The diet is great! I'm loving it. However the social aspect is killing me. I feel like I have lost touch with almost everyone. Strangely enough my family (parents and sister) are being extremely supportive, but they live on the other side of the country!

Anyways, I've finally got my husband on track with me, at least as far as support goes. He is now a lot more supportive than at the beginning, and is even standing up for me in front of most of my friends. Until I wanted to get rid of the leather jacket he got me as a present a few years back. Mind you, he was okay with me giving up my other 2 leather jackets. But this one caused us to have a huge fight. He says I am taking this too far, and that I'm not saving any lives by giving up the jacket, but I'm hurting him by giving up a gift that he put a lot of thought into. When I think about what he says, it makes a lot of sense. Before I knew the horrors of our meat industry I loved this jacket!

Even if I keep the jacket, when and where would I wear it? I'm trying to make vegan friends! How am I supposed to do that sporting a RED leather jacket???



I've talked to hubby about how I feel about the whole meat industry and my reasons for becoming vegan...and he says he is supportive of all that. In fact, he's switched to free range meat as a result...and he is eating almost all of my vegan meals, which I have to say is shocking the hell out of me as he hates vegetables. It's just this damned leather jacket! He feels that because he gave it to me as a gift, it defies all vegan logic.



The worse part is, all my friends are obviously on his side! My best friend tells me I'm a fool for even considering getting rid of that jacket. In fact, she is mad that it doesn't fit her. They all think I'm crazy I'm just confused!
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#2 Old 05-14-2008, 12:43 PM
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I think it's up to what your comfortable with, if youfeel comfortable wearing it don't worryabout what other people think. I have leather shoes that are still good that I wear due to lack of money for anything else. And if I got rid of it I would only donate it and someone would be wearing it. On the other hand, if wearing it makesyouthink of the meat industry and dead cows, ditch it and your husband will come to understand.
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#3 Old 05-14-2008, 12:49 PM
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If you are comfortable wearing it , just tell everyone that you'd rather not waste something you already owned. It's none of their damn business anyway! If you'd rather not wear it, sit down and explain to your husband that while you appreciate his gift, it upsets to wear a dead animal. Or maybe just keep it for now and try to donate it after he gets used to the vegan idea.
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#4 Old 05-14-2008, 12:53 PM
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It is precisely because the gift means so much that giving it away to a meat-eater will mean so much more. Whether or not you wear it has nothing to do with how you felt when receiving the gift. Would he be upset if you moved somewhere very warm and never wore the leather ever again? If not, why would your refusal to wear it due to a newly-awakened compassion be bad?



The jacket is/was a symbol of your husband's hard work and considerate nature. By giving it to someone who has no qualms or thoughts about animal rights, you can state, "This gift meant a great deal to me. I'm not going to wear it any more, so why don't you?"



When giving someone a gift, I do not set the terms by which they can own and enjoy it. This includes the future in which they may decide they no longer want it.
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#5 Old 05-14-2008, 12:54 PM
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Oh no! Ads for leather jackets!
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#6 Old 05-14-2008, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by RoboMonkey View Post

Oh no! Ads for leather jackets!



Oh, that's horrible! I am soooo sorry!



You are all making sense. I am going to have to do some soul searching, and then talk it over with hubby when he's calmed down a bit. But I really like what soy 6 said. Or like gillibean says just leave it in the closet and wait till hubby is just more used to my veganism. That seems like the easiest thing right now.



I am really really sorry about those ads!
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#7 Old 05-14-2008, 01:57 PM
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I have one pair of leather shoes in my closet. Bought many, many years ago. I have chosen not to give them away. They are worn on occasion. I think a leather jacket would be a lot harder to keep. I never owned one. After all it covers much more of your body and you would be much more aware of it. Probably even notice the smell of the leather. Not that the one pair of shoes I have kept are any less cruel.



My suggestion would be to perhaps give it to a friend who would appreciate it and at least put it to good care and use. Or you could keep it. But if it is really bothering you, don't keep it.



I've never been married so I wouldn't even try marriage type advice.
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#8 Old 05-14-2008, 03:55 PM
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I'm trying to make vegan friends! How am I supposed to do that sporting a RED leather jacket???



While I would never show up at a veg*n event wearing any leather items, I've found that it's not other vegans, but rather my non-veg acquaintances who analyze what I'm wearing. Like it or not, we become ambassadors for veganism, especially when we're the only one they've ever met.



One of my meat-loving co-workers likes to "jokingly" (ha ha) conduct a vegan inspection once in a while, announcing "Let's see what you're wearing today and make sure it's vegan!" (as if he'd even know). I actually take off my shoes and show him the "Vegetarian Shoes" label.
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#9 Old 05-14-2008, 05:17 PM
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No advice, just sympathy. This is hard for both of you - you have your feelings and beliefs and so does he. I understand why you don't want to wear it and I understand why he might be feeling hurt and rejected. Unfortunately, these kinds of feelings are subject to logic and reason. Even if you both "get" each other's points of view on one level, that doesn't stop the feelings. Keep talking to each other.



Good luck in working it out.
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#10 Old 05-14-2008, 09:41 PM
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As for the ads, let's see if we can change them I would happily wear a faux leather jacket or even a fake leather jacket perhaps especially one that was vegetarian but specifically vegan.
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#11 Old 05-15-2008, 02:14 PM
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I agree that it's totally up to what you're comfortable with. I have a bunch of shoes that I bought before I started being veg*n, and I personally can't rationalize throwing them out and buying new ones when I can barely even afford to drive to work and back. I just bought a new pair of sneakers for the gym and went on a massive search to find non-leather shoes that were in my budget, but I got them because I NEEDED new shoes. But like others have said, it's a completely personal decision and you should do what you feel right doing.
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#12 Old 05-15-2008, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Cedre View Post

Even if I keep the jacket, when and where would I wear it? I'm trying to make vegan friends! How am I supposed to do that sporting a RED leather jacket???

Well first of all you don't have to wear the jacket around your vegan friends if you don't want to. But more importantly, if my vegan friends said something about the jacket I was wearing I wouldn't want them as friends. They don't know whether I went out and bought that jacket without caring about the leather or if it was a hand-me-down or a special gift that I was given before going vegan. I don't want those kinds of judgmental friends. Luckily most vegans are not going to judge you for what you wear and if they say something you can explain it to them. Most vegans realize there is NO point in throwing out clothing and having it go to waste. If I were in your position I'd keep it. In fact now that I think about it there's a leather hat that I display proudly on my entertainment stand because of the sentimental value it holds to me.
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#13 Old 05-16-2008, 08:22 AM
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Well first of all you don't have to wear the jacket around your vegan friends if you don't want to. But more importantly, if my vegan friends said something about the jacket I was wearing I wouldn't want them as friends. They don't know whether I went out and bought that jacket without caring about the leather or if it was a hand-me-down or a special gift that I was given before going vegan. I don't want those kinds of judgmental friends. Luckily most vegans are not going to judge you for what you wear and if they say something you can explain it to them. Most vegans realize there is NO point in throwing out clothing and having it go to waste. If I were in your position I'd keep it. In fact now that I think about it there's a leather hat that I display proudly on my entertainment stand because of the sentimental value it holds to me.



That's a really good point. This subject is something I've thought about a lot, also because I have a suede jacket that I bought years ago that I looooove. I've been really reluctant to wear it since I started being vegan, and not because it made me feel guilty (it's not like I bought it with the knowledge I have now), but because I was afraid of what people would think. I mean, it kind of sucks to think about how I've naively contributed to animal cruelty over the years, but that was then and this is now. I go out of my way now to NOT make such purchases, but I can't exactly give the coat back now...
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#14 Old 05-16-2008, 12:17 PM
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Aww...you guys are so great. Whenever I am feeling down I just have to come here and feel understood! I have decided that I am going to keep the jacket and only wear it for him. I agree that basicaly it comes down to what I'm comfortable with. I have no problems wearing the jacket...it's just that I don't want to promote leather, and get someone else to go buy one. So I'll just be wearing it for him in the privacy of our house. I think he'll like that!!



But you are all right...I have leather shoes that I can't afford to replace. You can't tell the difference between those and man made ones, so I have no problem continuing to wear those. Like everyone else, I was stupid and naiive to the horrors of our meat industry, and now I know better and I will never go back. I am saving up for a pair of Te Casans that Natalie Portman designs....They look gorgeous!



Thanks for everyone's suggestions and support. I am not sure what I'd do with out you guys!!!
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#15 Old 05-16-2008, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by squirrelnut View Post

While I would never show up at a veg*n event wearing any leather items, I've found that it's not other vegans, but rather my non-veg acquaintances who analyze what I'm wearing. Like it or not, we become ambassadors for veganism, especially when we're the only one they've ever met.



One of my meat-loving co-workers likes to "jokingly" (ha ha) conduct a vegan inspection once in a while, announcing "Let's see what you're wearing today and make sure it's vegan!" (as if he'd even know). I actually take off my shoes and show him the "Vegetarian Shoes" label.



EXACTLY. I get more criticism from the omnis than anything. This one guy at work won't leave me alone... he always says something stupid. He once tried to call me out of my shoes that he thought were leather, but weren't.



I agree with people who said it's about you and how comfortable you are with it. I have leather seats in my car that I hate, but it's not practical to go get a different car because of them (I've had this car for years). Just make it clear that future gifts need to be vegan and leave it at that. That's what I did, I drew a line and said "If I get anything after this that is leather and/or tested on animals, I will not use/wear/keep it." That was 2 years ago and I've stuck with that. My family knows better now.
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#16 Old 05-16-2008, 08:31 PM
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I agree with the others- wear the jacket as a show of support. I mean, ehhh, it's already bought so what can you do? You can always explain the situation to anybody who asks.
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#17 Old 05-24-2008, 03:49 AM
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Originally Posted by danakscully64 View Post

EXACTLY. I get more criticism from the omnis than anything. This one guy at work won't leave me alone... he always says something stupid. He once tried to call me out of my shoes that he thought were leather, but weren't.



I agree with people who said it's about you and how comfortable you are with it. I have leather seats in my car that I hate, but it's not practical to go get a different car because of them (I've had this car for years). Just make it clear that future gifts need to be vegan and leave it at that. That's what I did, I drew a line and said "If I get anything after this that is leather and/or tested on animals, I will not use/wear/keep it." That was 2 years ago and I've stuck with that. My family knows better now.



Seat Covers???



Yeah, nothing wrong with keeping your old stuff.



As I type this, I'm sitting in my leather workboots I've had for 5 years now. I've repaired them twice with an aircraft-grade sealant...but at the moment, the toe of the left one is being held together with red electrical tape.



They look SO bad, that one of the mechanics here screams "GOD!!! BUY SOME NEW BOOTS!!! PLEASE!!!" Everytime he sees them.



But, I just can't afford vegan workboots right now...so these will have to do.

Give thanks to Mother Earth for Her greatest gift...

...gravity.

For without it, we would be lost.
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#18 Old 05-24-2008, 10:41 AM
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Can't use seat covers because of the side airbags. Bought some, then had to return them right after talking to the VW dealership. Either way, the leather seats are there... and they BURN in the summer. I use a towel. I want a new car



I think the cow would be proud that you're getting use out of them. Some people I know buy shoes (usually leather), wear them a few times, then toss them in their closet. That's wasteful.
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