Who's in?!? I know you've had days like i just did... - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-02-2008, 06:16 PM
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So it is surely time to start my vegan commune. I've been thinking about it for some time and now seems as perfect a day as any.

I'm so sick of omnivores right now. i need a vegan friend around here.

A commune is the perfect idea. A completely self-sustainable vegan community. It's the little happy place i go to when i get really overwhelmed.



I've never picked a fight. When people ridicule my lifestyle choices i don't take shots at them. Why can i not go one day, just one, without the annoying conversations with family, friends and above all co-workers.

how is a bowl of brown rice and steamed vegetables so bizarre that you cant just let me eat it in peace? you are stuffing your face with a dead cow topped with dead pig and a side of HEART ATTACK! I get caught reading a book about global warming and it turns into some huge political statement somehow...im just reading a book, i didnt try to kill Bush or anything. Every article of clothing i wear gets made fun of because its organic. i mean really...how can someone make fun of me for that!!??

i know. im rambling. and i know...im not in high school and i should now be able to handle *******s like this without letting it frazzle my feathers.



i just want ONE day of peace. Its like my choices directly influence their lives.



Does ANYONE have days like this?? Does anyone else just wish there was a place nearby that could serve as a save haven for all animal and nature loving people?
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#2 Old 04-02-2008, 06:26 PM
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OMG!!! Yes I do. At least one day a week at work. My hubby is ok with it, and my best friend is vegan, thank goodness. But the work thing is bugging me. I can totally relate. Specially with my hubbies family. I also get the "A girl in a machine shop" thing ...... whatever ....
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#3 Old 04-02-2008, 06:31 PM
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I'm in!!!!



My dh and 2 daughters are veg, but we are surrounded by omni's who think we are "odd".



Some days I have boundless patience and compassion, but other days....I so get where you are coming from. *sigh*
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#4 Old 04-02-2008, 07:11 PM
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You are very smart in not allowing these people to drag you into an argumentative state. It is usually what they want and when you don't give it to them, I think they deflate.



I do know what you mean. I've been harassed at work more times than I can remember about being vegan. And everyone is always so "interested" in what I'm eating. I tell them "worry about what you eat, not what I eat"



Sometimes being left in peace is really asking for a lot it seems. Sadly.
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#5 Old 04-02-2008, 07:19 PM
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That's my dream...
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#6 Old 04-02-2008, 07:22 PM
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That sucks, I'm sorry the people around you are being such jerkfaces. I think I've gotten lucky, the people around me are very understanding. I get some strange looks sometimes as I chow into my vegan buckwheat soba noodles, but they said its because it looks like worms (ewww lol). I think what's changed with me is my attitude. When I was a vegetarian I was much quicker to challenge others and offer the arguments, now whenever someone asks 'wait, you're a vegan?' I just smile and say yeah, I made muffins, want one?



Well, not all the time. I don't always have muffins, but you get the idea. No one likes their beliefs challenged. If someone has a genuine interest in what I believe I'll share it, otherwise, I keep my peace. I honestly think that alone has made my days easier. I try to remember how I felt when people questioned my Catholicism or my being a democrat.



If you're coworkers are really what are making your days rough, then really, try baking for them. Some people just want to be accepted, and if a silly cookie will give them that little opening into vegan goodness, and make them realize we're not missing out, then cookies for all!
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#7 Old 04-02-2008, 08:10 PM
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I think you might be better off if you were willing to defend your veganism--if you let people know you're serious and impassioned about it, they won't bug you as much. I really don't think keeping quiet helps you at all. Even if you aren't convincing anyone, it will still get them to stop "bugging" you.
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#8 Old 04-02-2008, 08:28 PM
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Originally Posted by AlainWinthrope View Post

I think you might be better off if you were willing to defend your veganism--if you let people know you're serious and impassioned about it, they won't bug you as much. I really don't think keeping quiet helps you at all. Even if you aren't convincing anyone, it will still get them to stop "bugging" you.



no no no....i HAVE defended myself. and it creates huge fights which turn into longtime grudges. anytime i say anything at work about being vegan, even a small comment, it turns into me being an "elitist"/thinking im superior to all. that is why i started staying passive. turns out people hate either road i take.
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#9 Old 04-02-2008, 09:04 PM
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#10 Old 04-03-2008, 01:10 AM
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My so called best friend, who I've known for a decade, hasn't talked to me in 6 months because she hates veg*ns. Now you top that!



... so because she hates vegans, that means she has to hate you? what about vegans does she hate?



i hope you've got other good friends that will help compensate for "losing" her. that sucks.. it really does.
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#11 Old 04-03-2008, 01:35 AM
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That's my dream...





Yes! It sounds wonderful to live in a vegan commune.

God loved birds, he created trees.
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#12 Old 04-03-2008, 10:26 AM
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#13 Old 04-03-2008, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by jfrey View Post


Does ANYONE have days like this?? Does anyone else just wish there was a place nearby that could serve as a save haven for all animal and nature loving people?



Too many days to be able to count them.



A vegan commune sounds like heaven. At the last Animal Rights gathering in Amsterdam last year, we were 300 vegans living for five days together at a campsite.



Heaven.



I cried on the train coming home. It was like leaving my family behind.
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#14 Old 04-03-2008, 09:50 PM
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I don't know if she hates me or if she's just dissapointed at me... I mean, she's one of those people who eat at Burger King everyday and thinks that anyone who doesn't eat like her is missing out on life or something.



Even when I was an omni she would get bothered when we had lunch together and I ordered a chicken salad and orange juice, for example. She would say something like "Bhleaaarg, salad and juice! That's disgusting!", haha!



She said she'll start talking to me again when I "come to my senses" (which to her means eating meat again). Luckly I have other good friends who are very supportive and who accept me for what I am... And a couple of then have even decided to veg after I did.



Wow!!! While she may have been your best friend, it honestly sounds like you're better off without someone like this in your life. So much negativity and one-sided thinking is going to come into play in so many of your life choices! [Assuming none of these have happened already] What happens when you find the love of your life? Is she going to hate you because it's someone she wouldn't have picked? Or maybe she would have and she'll hate you because you're stealing him from the potential of her getting him! What about when you have a baby? Will she hate you for giving the child the wrong name? For having a child of the wrong gender? For not raising it the way she would? What if you don't want to have children at all, and she doesn't agree? I guess she'll hate you over that!



If she insults you over having salad... and hates you for making a compassionate choice, it sounds like good riddance.
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#15 Old 04-04-2008, 07:54 AM
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Too many days to be able to count them.





I cried on the train coming home. It was like leaving my family behind.





AWWW!!



Speaking of vegan "communes", anyone ever heard of the Dancing Rabbit eco-village? http://www.dancingrabbit.org/index.php . They are pretty much all vegan.



Hubby and I are seriously considering visiting.
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#16 Old 04-04-2008, 09:06 AM
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Gee, it sounds like many of the people giving us all a hard time are threatened (and a few have other control issues) - just being vegan, we're a symbol that it really is possible to live a lifestyle that minimizes harm, and it's a reminder that they are choosing a life that directly causes harm to animals (choosing, rather than there's no other option).



I guess I kind of use these forums for the vegan commune purpose - I don't know any other vegans, so sometimes it's really nice to be able to vent here and know that others will understand. (although it would be nice to live in a face to face community where omni-ism was viewed as not the norm for a change). Just to be able to chat face to face and have friends to do things with that didn't challenge you on such things every time...
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#17 Old 04-04-2008, 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted by jfrey View Post

no no no....i HAVE defended myself. and it creates huge fights which turn into longtime grudges. anytime i say anything at work about being vegan, even a small comment, it turns into me being an "elitist"/thinking im superior to all. that is why i started staying passive. turns out people hate either road i take.



Looks like your co-workers are scared of the fact that they cannot actually invalidate your arguments behind the choices you've made. This is pretty typical, I believe. It's easier to make an offense in order to prove yourself right immediately instead of accepting the information you were presented and giving it a thorough thought. This is called ignorance.



I also believe that these fights you described start because of the way you communicate with people. It could be because of the way you phrase the thoughts and as a consequence making others think you're intent to be offensive. People usually don't start heated debates out of nothing. Of course, if someone picks a fight with you deliberately just to annoy the hell of you this is pretty stupid and not even worth your attention. Just ignore these people by not responding with anything.
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#18 Old 04-04-2008, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by tarantela View Post

I don't know if she hates me or if she's just dissapointed at me... I mean, she's one of those people who eat at Burger King everyday and thinks that anyone who doesn't eat like her is missing out on life or something.



Even when I was an omni she would get bothered when we had lunch together and I ordered a chicken salad and orange juice, for example. She would say something like "Bhleaaarg, salad and juice! That's disgusting!", haha!



She said she'll start talking to me again when I "come to my senses" (which to her means eating meat again). Luckly I have other good friends who are very supportive and who accept me for what I am... And a couple of then have even decided to veg after I did.





I had a friend like this. We were best friends for quite some time. She really eats terribly, and refuses to eat healthy natural foods at all with the same reaction. While we've grown apart for other reasons prior to my decision to become vegan, I know she would have dissaproved. She also slept around a lot and put me down for all my more positive decisions to maintain a healthy, happy longterm relationship, because yknow, I was missing out. Another friend was telling me a story about planning her wedding, and about how she's decided not to invite her old friend because she'd decided she were a 'toxic' friend. I took heart, and finally decided my prior best friend was a toxic friend, and wasn't good for me. I don't think we've spoken once in 2008, she's probably too busy smokin pot and sleepin around. But that's her life and this is mine.



It sucks, but its probably something that's going to happen to you too. Optimistically enough, when I finally stopped trying to be friends with this girl, I refound a lot of other good friends that shared my values. So after all, there IS light at the end of the tunnel
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#19 Old 04-04-2008, 12:39 PM
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I'd love to live in a vegan commune. ^__^



Is anyone else here serious? It would take at least 10 to start a decent commune, unless someone is loaded, and a lot of dedication, hard work, and faith. I'm curious how many are actually serious--right now I'm not at a point in my life where I'd be able to but in the near future, if there really is strong interest from others too, I'd do it.
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#20 Old 04-04-2008, 01:01 PM
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#21 Old 04-04-2008, 01:02 PM
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#22 Old 04-04-2008, 06:45 PM
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im so serious about it. haha. it would be tough to find the perfect place though....
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#23 Old 04-04-2008, 07:42 PM
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#24 Old 04-05-2008, 06:03 AM
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mmmm....i love avocados! brazil it is!!!
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#25 Old 04-05-2008, 07:15 AM
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haha, I would love to, but I'm in love with an omnivore who just hunted down Veganomican for me for our anniversary. I'm keepin him around for a while.



Perhaps I can come visit
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#26 Old 04-06-2008, 02:13 AM
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I'm serious about doing it, but won't do it until I graduate which is 3 years away...

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#27 Old 04-06-2008, 08:30 PM
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Does ANYONE have days like this??

I had a day like this today. I was at my fiance's house with her mom, dad and little sister. My veganism was brought up probably about 20 times. Her mom told me I only eat birdseed and brought up birdseed like 10 times. For breakfast her mom put an orange and scrambled eggs on my plate (she had fixed it while I was on a walk). They know I don't eat animal products and were telling me just to eat it. At dinner she made salad and put cheese in it, she got mad when I brought up the cheese. I ended up just eating some of the lettuce leaves she didn't put in the salad and plain wheat spaghetti (the sauce was cheese flavored). She told me she wished I would just eat normal and there's other stuff that was said.



This has been my worst day as a vegan so far. I don't understand why the people who are supposed to be the closes to me hurt my feelings.
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#28 Old 04-06-2008, 08:46 PM
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*HUGS* oh my gosh that was just awful of her, simply awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#29 Old 04-06-2008, 08:47 PM
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I had a friend like this. We were best friends for quite some time. She really eats terribly, and refuses to eat healthy natural foods at all with the same reaction. While we've grown apart for other reasons prior to my decision to become vegan, I know she would have dissaproved. She also slept around a lot and put me down for all my more positive decisions to maintain a healthy, happy longterm relationship, because yknow, I was missing out. Another friend was telling me a story about planning her wedding, and about how she's decided not to invite her old friend because she'd decided she were a 'toxic' friend. I took heart, and finally decided my prior best friend was a toxic friend, and wasn't good for me. I don't think we've spoken once in 2008, she's probably too busy smokin pot and sleepin around. But that's her life and this is mine.



:



that sounds like a similar experience that i had. i had a "friend", really, just someone i partied with, and truely didnt have anything else in common with. she would always joke about my vegetarianism *and i wasnt even that strict then*, my environmentalism, the fact i wasnt racist, etcetc. she would put down my eating, while she, quite overweight/obese, is shoving (literally this happened) a triple bacon cheeseburger at like 3 am into her mouth. it was sooo ironic and blatant that she was doing it to make herself feel less guilty.

my bff, who was there at the time couldnt help but laugh at the situation.

i would tell her to stop and she would just go on and on, telling me to relax. it got to be too much, where i realized i wasnt being true to myself, and i didnt want her reputation. she was toxic. and i had to cut her out.



ive spoken to her recently, and i find it sooo humorous to hear her talking about the environment and the govt/ gas/ bush/ war debacle. but still, she wouldnt do anything to take a stand, just b***h.

anyway...



*sorry, i was venting*
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#30 Old 04-06-2008, 08:50 PM
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*HUGS* oh my gosh that was just awful of her, simply awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks!
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