I meet a vegan guy every day I look in the mirror.
"How you doin'?", I will say, winking to the handsome hunk.
"Hey stop flirting with me", the guy in the mirror will say.
"Well, ex-cu-se me, you rude a-hole", I'll respond.
"No need to use that kind of language... ...you ****face", the guy in the mirror will respond.
"I'll ****ing punch your teeth out", I'll say.
"Do your worst", the mirror guy will say, fists raised.
Then I'll punch myself in the face. I have to go to the nearby hospital at least twice a week.
"and I stand
upon a mountain
made of weak and useless men"