Difficulty w/ Relationship & Issues with Family/Child - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-06-2016, 11:29 PM
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 4
Difficulty w/ Relationship & Issues with Family/Child

I am quite stressed. I have a 2 year old who is happy and healthy and loves animal. My toddler will say no when I ask if she wants to eat chickens or cows. The father is a meat eater and we are no longer together. When she is with him, he feeds her meat and animal product without telling her. He knows the health, animal, and environmental reasons, but doesn't care and basically gives every excuse such as it's not a big deal and its just how things are etc. I do pack food for her, but he or his relatives still offer her nonvegan food they are eating without telling her what it is.

I also have a serious relationship with someone who I have loved long before becoming vegan. My change is a big strain on the relationship because not only is he a meat eater with every excuse, his career goal and current education IS animal testing. His every project, his jobs, his internships, his future all involves animal testing. I am strongly against this and feel upset because I can't imagine being with someone who slices apart living animals performing painful tests on them just to let them die. And I feel guilty and feel sorry for him because he is proud of his work and feels very important and deserves to be with someone who is also proud of his accomplishments and supports him and his career.

All of this is very overwhelming for me and I just don't have any support from anyone at this point. I don't know any vegans in person and the very people I count on for support don't understand or are the ones upsetting me. I would just love to hear outside opinions from other vegans and what you would do in this situation and honestly just hearing supportive words.

Thanks I know this is a lot to read!
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#2 Old 03-07-2016, 02:15 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 20
I'm sorry you seem to be going through quite a few hectic things. I'd be angry if someone was feeding my children nonvegan food. It's just toxic! And that's what a lot of people are... Toxic. If you wanmt to live a cruel free life and you want the same for your daughter, stay away from toxic people. I understand it might be difficult because your daughter sees her father. But if he can't respect what you or your daughter wants, its best to keep him away. Try talking to him again and explain why it's wrong of him to do what he is doing. If he still continues to disrespect your wishes (and your daughter's.. It's her body!) Just keep packing her lunches and she deserves to know that "daddy" may be lying to her about eating animals. If she wants to stay away from eating animals, tell her her packed lunches are safe. She is only 2 so it would be easier when she's older and more educated on food. Then she can actually stand up for herself and learn to say no. Keep teaching her. She's still so young but she will get there. Sorry I couldn't help much but I couldn't say nothing.

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#3 Old 03-07-2016, 03:37 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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You have two very different, yet also similar situations. Your daughters father has as much right to her upbringing as you do, and while we can site research, and our own ethics, he does the majority of culture on his side.
Your other situation I can't even begin to understand. You're actually condoning not just consumption, but animal testing. Doesn't it feel hypocritical to ask your daughters dad to respect your ethical choices when you stand by a man who does so much worse?

I would certainly continue to ask that he gives her the food you provide, but would never suggest you use it to divide that relationship.

How on earth do you justify feeling he deserves someone who is proud of what he does? Or justify his own pride in his horrific work? I understand staying with someone with a different diet, but not to the extent of someone in testing as well as being an omnivore.
How will you explain that to a child you fought to keep from eating meat with her father, when you stay with a man who causes so much suffering
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