Vegan slip ups. How do I deal with the guilt? - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 12-26-2015, 07:12 PM
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Vegan slip ups. How do I deal with the guilt?

I've been vegan for a few months now. I dont get cravings and have been very good with staying on track. These last couple days, I've have a couple of accidental slip ups. My family (whom I don't live with) is still adjusting to it. Unfortunately, that also has meant eggs and such were used in dishes they have used subs before... and they forgot to tell me. I understand this is all an accident, but I can't help but feel so guilty. How do I deal with this?
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#2 Old 12-26-2015, 09:05 PM
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Guilt can be very difficult to deal with, but guilt is also what will help you to not make the same mistake again.

I remember when I was new to veganism. I messed up a few times as well but it's impossible to know everything when you're first starting. What's even harder is constant vigilance. It's a learned behaviour and it will take you time. Remember what you have done and strive to do better every day.
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#3 Old 12-26-2015, 09:35 PM
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realize that you're human and it's already a done deal.

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#4 Old 12-27-2015, 04:50 AM
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It wasn't your fault. Nothing to feel bad about.

It can be a tricky situation when you visit someone and they cook a meal for you. You don't want to be too rude by asking what's in the dish, but you don't want to consume something you aren't comfortable with either, and you want to be consistent in your beliefs and practices as a vegan. I've run into this issue countless times at my Mom's. Though she has been on again off again vegan and she KNOWS how important being vegan is to me (and the fact that dairy made me very sick when I was an omni), she is not a label reader and is very lax about what's in stuff, and I am very strict. For example she will buy gluten free bread that also has egg in it. She didn't think it did until I pointed it out because I know that Rudi's gluten free breads have egg in them. She once offered me a salad dressing and I read the label because I was suspicious of that particular dressing and sure enough it had stuff I wouldn't eat. I was probably a little rude reading the label in front of her, and she yelled at me for being so extreme. And well you know it didn't turn out so well as I yelled back at her for not respecting my needs and wishes. I guess I am a little pushier than some and less trustful. I am usually very upfront and investigative at restaurants too before I consume a product, but oddly I get more respect there. and it's strange because usually I am very passive.

I think it is a bit rude on the part of those making a dish for you when they know you are vegan (they did know right?) and yet still put animal products in it. But sometimes people do forget. It doesn't make you less vegan because it wasn't something you had control over. Hopefully next time they will remember now.

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#5 Old 12-27-2015, 05:33 AM
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I know how awful it is to accidentally consume animal products, but once it's happened there's really nothing you can do except move on. You'll forget about it eventually, or at least it will lose its sting. I still remember the time my mom made her famous beans for me without omitting the pork. I'd already had a few bites before I realized.
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#6 Old 12-27-2015, 09:37 AM
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Thank you, guys. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has run into this. It makes me feel a bit better. I frequently run into this, as my family doesn't share my vegan status and are still adjusting. This is just the first time this has happened and I feel AWFUL. They didn't do it on purpose, they just forgot.
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#7 Old 12-27-2015, 01:35 PM
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It's a horrible feeling when you accidentally consume an animal product, for me it only lasts a small time then you just have to forget about it.

Someone made me a cup of tea over Christmas and I hate asking all the time 'Have you used my soy milk?' So I trusted this family member, unfortunately they forgot this one time and it took me a few sips to realise.
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#8 Old 12-31-2015, 07:07 AM
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Guilt shows that you know something is wrong. Avoid it all together by stating your veganism, and having vegan options and sharing your lifestyle.
Volunteering or donating to charity might help with past guilt and maybe advocate for animals too. I hope you realize that you are doing more than non vegans by helping animals with your lifestyle choice.
Slip ups will happen because we live in a non vegan world. Do not let it ruin your vegan choice and continue your life of compassion!
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#9 Old 01-03-2016, 08:36 AM
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Realize you're human, and it's not your fault. We've all had slip ups.
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#10 Old 01-03-2016, 08:46 AM
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Slip-ups are bound to happen. Forgive yourself and use it as motivation to make sure things are vegan beforehand. You didn't do anything wrong, you made a mistake.

Recently I realized one of the breads I had been eating contained trace amounts of dairy. Another time I ate broccoli not realizing a family member had cooked them with butter. Another time I ordered a sandwich and remembered to ask for no cheese, but forgot about the pesto.

As long as we live in a society where the majority are eating animal products, mistakes will occasionally happen. That doesn't negate all of the effort you put into being vegan and the 99% of the time things go as planned.
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#11 Old 01-03-2016, 09:20 AM
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This has happened to me. I am gluten free as well. I didn't realize that almost all of the breads have egg or dairy in them. They need them to rise because the gluten is absent. Thanks to other posters, I have some alternatives. And I have found some recipes I want to try in the future.I struggled with the guilt but I have to tell myself that I truly didn't know. You can't fix what you don't know. When you know better, you do better.
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