Significant other - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 11-27-2015, 08:12 PM
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Angry Significant other eats meat

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for a while now and shes perfect in every way. except for one. she eats meat. I tell her about all the negative effects on health, other people, animals and the planet, but she wont even listen, then gives stupid ass justifications like "i like meat though". like liking something actually justifies doing it. what can i do to help her realize how bad her choices are and how they affect other things besides just her? like she claims to be an animal lover but eats meat. like ugghh, its so frustrating.

Last edited by JustinMOMO; 11-27-2015 at 08:19 PM.
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#2 Old 11-27-2015, 09:56 PM
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Hi Justin,

It sounds like you've already explained veganism to her, so it's not necessary to continue discussing it. If she does decide to become vegan, it will be because she is inwardly inspired to do so.

How long have the two of you been dating? Do you believe it could become serious? If the two of you were to have children, do you think she would allow you to raise them as vegans? These are important things to think about.

_________

Specific recommendations for a healthy diet include: eating more fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts and grains; cutting down on salt, sugar and fats. It is also advisable to choose unsaturated fats, instead of saturated fats and towards the elimination of trans-fatty acids."
- United Nations' World Health Organization
http://www.who.int/topics/diet/en/
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#3 Old 12-02-2015, 04:57 PM
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Hello! Just wanted to share my thoughts on this:

Ive been dating my significant other for over 8 years, living with him for 6. Only this past Feb (11 months ago) is when I became vegan. My bf had no choice to eat vegan at home because thats all I cook, and chose not to buy or cook meat for him. If he wanted it that bad, he can simple purchase it and cook it himself. I think that is fair.

My journey has been such a beautiful one with ups and downs. I have never forced him to think the same as me. In fact, I hardly even tell him what I learn unless he asks or happens to hear the documentaries or videos Im watching. I feel like this is so new to me that I only have time to focus on myself and my own personal journey through this, and try not to worry about trying to change him and his thoughts and lifestyle.

Recently however, after a vegan thanksgiving event I went to at an animal sanctuary and brought him along (he wanted to come because he loves animals), he has started asking questions ALL ON HIS OWN. one day, he said out of the blue "hmm i need to reconsider my choices, you guys are onto something" ---and then a couple days after, he asked me "where do you get your B12?" (i have never mentioned b12 to him before ever lol). the other day, i grabbed his phone to reply to our mutual friends and it went to his browser which was on some "vegan essentials" website LOL...

Now, even if we go out to eat, he CHOOSES VEG!!! Ive never forced him nor tried made him feel bad about eating meat. He started ordering vegan food all on his own. it is crazy, and i dont ever make a big deal of it and try to downplay it even though inside, im jumping for joy.

I guess the point of this is, in my opinion and in my own experience, if you just live a compassionate life and not try to change/force your significant other, and just be there when they have questions or just expose them to things and info you are already exposing yourself to, it will come naturally.
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#4 Old 12-06-2015, 12:13 PM
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I'm dating a meat eater too and I have the same frustrations as you do. He says that he just doesn't believe in the same things as me. He's smart, I don't understand why he can't see why this is right. You do what you can. He definitely supports me but I know that he sees it as an inconvenience trying to feed me. You just have to ask yourself, is this something you're willing to live with... I'm asking my self the same questions. I would love to date a vegan guy, that would be so perfect but I like the relationship I have now so I don't know how to justify what that would mean one day. I hope you find some answers for yourself.
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#5 Old 12-07-2015, 07:35 AM
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You can't make another person become vegetarian or vegan. And it's usually quite frustrating to try. So what to do?

Enjoy your delicious plant-based foods, enjoy trying new foods and recipes, and anything you make, make enough to share.

Don't preach, don't argue, don't judge. The vast majority of us have meat-eating backgrounds, and who among us chose to become vegetarian by someone beating us over the head with lectures and moral proclamations? It doesn't work.

If you decide that you cannot have a relationship with someone who eats meat, it not his/her fault or responsibility - you are the one who has changed.

Be kind, be generous and be compassionate, that's all you need to do.

It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities. ~A. Dumbledore
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#6 Old 12-08-2015, 04:29 AM
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My spouse was an omnivore when I met him. To me, being vegetarian pales in comparison to many other attributes I want in a partner -- kindness, mutual respect, sense of humor, shared interests. Eventually, over the course of a year or so, my spouse became vegetarian. I never asked him to, but he changed as he realized that there were tons of delicious foods that don't require harming animals. I became vegan a few years back, and he is still lacto-ovo vegetarian although he is generally supportive and understands where I'm coming from.

I guess you have to decide where you stand. Also consider how your views may change over the years. Many people feel very righteous when they first become vegetarian and try to debate everyone, but often this cools down with time. If your relationship is otherwise good and you are well suited to each other, do you want veganism to be a "dealbreaker"? How important to you is sharing your life with someone? Are you willing to risk the chance that you may not meet a suitable mate who is either already vegan or willing to become vegan?
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