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Ukvege 11-26-2015 04:55 PM

Leaving a relationship because of veganism
 
Hello!
I've recently left a relationship because I couldn't see myself loving someone who wasn't a vegan, like me.
At first, they were vegan, then just vegetarian, then just a week ago, they're like, "oh I just couldn't blah blah protein."
Then they were saying how you could never be 100% vegan, even though I told them it's always best to try.
I was upset because I felt that I was being told that I was wrong or weird for my ethical and moral beliefs.
Can anyone relate? This is an odd feeling. I don't see someone I loved anymore, just a shallow person.

David3 11-26-2015 05:56 PM

Yes, I can definitely relate. I stayed far too long in a previous relationship with an omnivore. I don't think she was shallow, but I always perceived an invisible fence in the middle of the table when we ate together. I didn't feel like she could really understand me, either. Now I'm married to a beautiful vegan lady - worth waiting for.

Meowiii 11-27-2015 01:38 PM

I think it really depends on how your partner treats your veganism. My partner is an omnivore but he always tries to help me find meals and stuff that I can eat and prepares them with me . This way I still feel appreciated and respected even though we don't 100% agree.

MadamSarcastra 11-27-2015 02:10 PM

Veganism is the topic, not the main issue.... which is someone else diminishing & disregarding your feelings. Don't ever put up with that crap. ;)

silva 11-27-2015 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadamSarcastra (Post 3834745)
Veganism is the topic, not the main issue.... which is someone else diminishing & disregarding your feelings. Don't ever put up with that crap. ;)

THIS
If you subbed politics, religion, or any sociatal views for veg'nism it all comes down to this- you don't have a partner if they don't respect you for who you are

Vegan Dave 11-27-2015 04:04 PM

I went vegetarian overnight & kinda told my wife with little notice. She continued to eat meat, then went veg*n, along with my daughter, son-in-law and now grand daughter. I was OK with everyone else eating whatever they wanted, but they chose the veg*n path.

I'm real glad they are all veg*n now....it makes life a lot easier. Our "Thanksgiving" consisted of a lot of veggies, with no meat, and it was a blast.

I guess my point is that you have to be comfortable with your environment, and if that means no meat.....so be it. Now that most of my family is meat free.....if someone wanted to cook a burger......I think I'd lose it.

BTW - I live on the edge of a nature preserve, and there were 12 wild turkeys in my back yard this morning. The day after Thanksgiving!! It's like they were giving the finger to everybody saying "Hey - look at us.....we're still here"

Gobble, gobble. :)

Thalassa4 11-27-2015 10:38 PM

It really depends on who you are. Many people prefer to be married (or in a relationship) with someone of the same political or religious views, so it's not strange at all to want your partner to at least be vegetarian, if not totally vegan.

I think it would be tremendously easier for me to be with someone who has similar values. Honestly, I feel like giving love, attention or sex to someone who violates my ethics is a form of betraying myself. And the older I get the less I feel that tolerance is a virtue unto itself. ..tolerance is wonderful, if it ends violence, but intellectually tolerance as an end to itself seems like moral and intellectual laxity to me...no, actually, I don't think ALL worldviews are equally valid, though I can tolerate some reasonable differences.

Ultimately it depends on what you feel good about, and if you don't feel good about dating an omni, don't do it.

420Surfer 11-28-2015 01:36 PM

If we lived in the same house and I had to see/smell meat, eggs, milk, cheese in fridge or even worse see/smell it being cooked I would literally freak. If we lived separately I might be able to handle their transgressions a little longer, either way it would only delay in inevitable.

Vegan Dave 11-28-2015 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 420Surfer (Post 3835441)
If we lived in the same house and I had to see/smell meat, eggs, milk, cheese in fridge or even worse see/smell it being cooked I would literally freak. If we lived separately I might be able to handle their transgressions a little longer, either way it would only delay in inevitable.

I agree. :)

melbourne_vegan 11-28-2015 10:55 PM

I agree that everyone is free to associate with whomever they want, but personally I would hate to be with someone who knows all the facts about the animal industry (suffering to animals, environmental degradation, subsidies to the animal industry, etc) and choose to simply continue eating meat, dairy, and eggs. This person's value would be completely at odds with mine, so I'd be quick in cutting this person from my life.

Poppy 11-29-2015 03:19 PM

I've been married for 32 years, been vegan for 10. My husband just this year went fully vegetarian after several years as a pescatarian. He's mostly vegan at home because that's what we buy (except for Parmesan :rolleyes:).

My husband has been supportive, complimentary and generous with all the changes I have made in our lives over the years. I am so appreciative that he's had my back and never given me a hard time about the way I cook, shop or eat.

So while he may never be vegan, he's been a true life partner and has made a lot of changes for my sake. And besides, no one is perfect, least of all me. :)

4everaspirit 11-29-2015 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thalassa4 (Post 3834969)
s. Honestly, I feel like giving love, attention or sex to someone who violates my ethics is a form of betraying myself.
Ultimately it depends on what you feel good about, and if you don't feel good about dating an omni, don't do it.

Nail on the head with how I feel as well. I have been with several meat eaters who said they "could" eat vegan and would be interested in it (but I could tell that it wasn't really true and their heart wouldn't be in it) I just couldn't go through with it because that lifestyle and compassion I needed them to share with me just wasn't there and it left me hurt. It's great that many vegans can be in relationships like that, and way more power to them, it's just certainly not for everyone.


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