Should I even call myself Vegan? - Page 3 - VeggieBoards
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#61 Old 06-08-2015, 10:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Vidal Pierre View Post
Mentally I'm Vegan but I *use* to give in during social interactions.


Well today I'm happy because I want to a café with my Mum and at first I said ''I'll have omelette and chips'' then I thought of the guilt I'd feel after so I said ''I'll just have chips'' she looked at me oddly but I'm sticking to my guns. I could of ordered the veggie burger to but I don't trust them from a café... Yuck...


My Mum's partner said ''so you're a vegan'' for some weird reason I felt a bit of tension - My Mother looked at me as if ''Really, son Really?'' but I need to USE that word and OWN in not just at home but around people. This will stir up conversation, I swear saying your Vegan is like coming out of the closet from being gay....
You want to be vegan, but you aren't yet. If "vegan" means anyone who has the theoretical potential not to eat meat, then everyone is vegan and the word has no meaning. It's like saying that I'm "mentally a piano player" because I sometimes imagine myself as a piano player even though I don't actually play the piano.

I don't understand why you willingly ordered eggs at a cafe, when you could choose anything you like from the menu. It's good that you changed your mind, but you're not going to be very happy eating nothing but chips when you go out to eat. There are bound to be better vegan options than that.
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#62 Old 06-08-2015, 10:15 AM
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You want to be vegan, but you aren't yet. If "vegan" means anyone who has the theoretical potential not to eat meat, then everyone is vegan and the word has no meaning. It's like saying that I'm "mentally a piano player" because I sometimes imagine myself as a piano player even though I don't actually play the piano.

I don't understand why you willingly ordered eggs at a cafe, when you could choose anything you like from the menu. It's good that you changed your mind, but you're not going to be very happy eating nothing but chips when you go out to eat. There are bound to be better vegan options than that.
It was a Greasy spoon type Café they had Veggie burger on the menu but that was it. I didn't want to order it just in case I didn't like it. Maybe I should have but I didn't want to risk it.


I wasn't even suppose to go to the Café anyway if I was going to choose to eat out I would of went to a Chinese or Indian restaurant where I would definitely get a nice Vegetable dish.


It wasn't planned I would of pleaded to go somewhere else but it wasn't planned. I'm repeating myself now so I better hit the ''Submit reply'' button.
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#63 Old 06-08-2015, 12:25 PM
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Good call on Chinese or Indian. There are always lots of options there. Sorry about your cafe experience.
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#64 Old 06-08-2015, 01:36 PM
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Its alright its the perks of being a Vegan I knew the Café non Animal flesh/excretion would simply just ordering the Chips!
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#65 Old 06-08-2015, 03:02 PM
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......calling your self vegan or vegetarian makes you more inclined to stick to it. If you let your self be identified as a carnist, then it's easier to excuse yourself to have meat coz hey, you aren't a vegetarian.

My suggestion would be to call your self a vegan, and remember that you are one everytime you get into situations where you feel like eating meat.

I agree immensely with the fact that, rather than labels actions are what matters. So even if you aren't technically vegan if you cut down on meat it's far better than nothin.
Although I believe that people should use words correctly, I agree with this. Back when I first started dropping egg and milk from my vegetarian diet, the fact that I was "just transitioning" made a great excuse to eat pizza with cheese, an omelet, etc when the craving to do so got unpleasantly strong. Oh, I was still eating much less egg and dairy than I had been, but it wasn't my best effort.

People are different. Some might need to call themselves vegan and be very strict with themselves, but I know of too many people who gave in to a craving, just said, "That's it- I failed- I might as well give up!", and started eating pretty much EVERYTHING.

Peasant (1963-1972) and Fluffy (1970s?-1982- I think of you as 'Ambrose' now)- Your spirits outshone some humans I have known. Be happy forever.

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#66 Old 06-09-2015, 06:08 AM
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It's a funny thing to contemplate.

We eat a strictly vegan diet at home. We also abstain from animal products/testing in our household items, clothing and personal care items. Very occasionally we will be out and about and hungry and will eat a baked good that probably has some eggs or dairy in it. We try to go out prepared and head for our favourite places if we need some food but with 2 kids (one of whom is disabled) sometimes we just get caught out and need to eat. We never eat meat or something with obvious eggs or dairy but I'm sure that eggs and dairy slip past us when we are out once a month or so.

So should I turn in my vegan card?

If so then how long do I need to be 100% perfectly perfect before I can have it back?

My disabled son spends the occasional weekend away from home where I don't have control over his food. Sometimes he is fed meat. Is he allowed to call himself a vegan?

I am an honest person who occasionally tells a lie - everyone does. Are we all liars?

My husband is a Christian who sometimes sins, should he no longer be allowed to call himself a Christian?

My Buddhist son stepped on an ant yesterday - is he no longer a Buddhist?



My feeling is that as long as I am doing the best I can in every situation then that's enough. I don't particularly care for labels anyway.

Call yourself whatever you want. Or, call yourself nothing. There is no official title-giver judging you. Will you offend some vegans if you call yourself a vegan? Probably. People who say they are vegetarian but eat fish drive me crazy. But that's my own personal problem.

Follow your heart, do your best and the universe will unfold as it should.
Yes yes yes! *bows down* thank you. That is a perfect response. The best I've seen about this subject.

Btw how funny would it be if we needed to be issued cards Hahahaha omg I loved that.

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#67 Old 06-09-2015, 09:44 AM
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Although I believe that people should use words correctly, I agree with this. Back when I first started dropping egg and milk from my vegetarian diet, the fact that I was "just transitioning" made a great excuse to eat pizza with cheese, an omelet, etc when the craving to do so got unpleasantly strong. Oh, I was still eating much less egg and dairy than I had been, but it wasn't my best effort.

People are different. Some might need to call themselves vegan and be very strict with themselves, but I know of too many people who gave in to a craving, just said, "That's it- I failed- I might as well give up!", and started eating pretty much EVERYTHING.

Calling myself a Vegan BEFORE I'm 100% Vegan all the time is a way for me to remind myself. I know if I didn't I want eventually start eating Eggs, Cheese, cookies etc..I don't want that AT ALL!


Also I feel weird walking pass places with raw meat on display makes me sad.
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#68 Old 06-11-2015, 02:23 PM
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Everybody is 100% vegan almost all of the time, except the times when they are eating.
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#69 Old 06-16-2015, 02:35 AM
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I don't understand the social thing .. I don't let others effect what I eat. My girlfriends mother constantly tries to tell me "It's ok to have just a little bit of ____", but I'm like "Nope. Sorry. Unless it's from plants it's not going in my digestive system". So she makes sure I can eat something. Last time she made a nice pasta salad. Look none of us are perfect. I've accidently consumed things with dairy, honey, or gelatin at some point. But eating stuff with animal products on purpose especially meat pretty much is just not vegan. Eating almost no animal products is great though and I commend you for it. I'd rather have that then you going back to eating a standard American diet.
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#70 Old 06-16-2015, 03:05 AM
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Everybody is 100% vegan almost all of the time, except the times when they are eating.
Not necessarily. For me veganism is a conscious choice I make in every area of my life. I make a conscious choice not to wear wool or silk or leather. I make a choice not to use dishwashing liquid that is tested on animals, and not to support/buy products that exploit animals. I try to be kind and compassionate towards others (though I am not perfect in this practice lol). I used to be more of an activist with leafleting and tabling and petitioning etc but even in my everyday quiet way I can be an activist by the little choices I make and by being aware of how my actions affect others. It may seem insignificant to others but it adds up over time, and I can live with a less guilty conscience.

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#71 Old 06-16-2015, 10:16 AM
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I went out and someone ordered me a Hot chocolate at a café with Milk. She insisted I drank it because she didn't want me to ''collapse'' and I didn't sugar. But I didn't need Cow milk! Oh well I drank it now today is tainted with immorality.
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#72 Old 06-16-2015, 10:36 AM
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I went out and someone ordered me a Hot chocolate at a café with Milk. She insisted I drank it because she didn't want me to ''collapse'' and I didn't sugar. But I didn't need Cow milk! Oh well I drank it now today is tainted with immorality.
You can just say no. Also, cafes serve tons of vegan options. Honestly, this is kind of aggravating. Just say "no thanks" for Pete's sake!
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#73 Old 06-16-2015, 12:21 PM
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I went out and someone ordered me a Hot chocolate at a café with Milk. She insisted I drank it because she didn't want me to ''collapse'' and I didn't sugar. But I didn't need Cow milk! Oh well I drank it now today is tainted with immorality.
What do you mean insisted? When people insist, you insist back that you don't want it. If you drink it, people are just going to keep thinking you're OK with drinking it and keep ordering it for you.
Seems like you've been having this social problem for well over a month now... A bit suspicious. Even when I was an extremely shy person, I could say "no, thanks" to something I didn't want. So, I'm sure you can too if you really don't want it.
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#74 Old 06-16-2015, 12:58 PM
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Seriously. If someone handed you a cup of poop and said "eat this," would you? Of course not. So why do you accept milk?

It's happened too many times now to keep blaming your friends and family. If you're not ready to go vegan, there's no shame in that. Just do what you can until you're ready, and accept responsibility for the animal products you do eat. Nobody's perfect.


Edit to add: I know that Starbucks' hot chocolate is vegan if you ask for soya milk and no whip. It's likely the same at many other cafes. Other great options are soya lattes (either plain or sweetened with flavoured syrup), tea with or without soya milk, Italian sodas (sparkling water plus syrup), and juice.
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#75 Old 06-16-2015, 02:21 PM
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You can just say no. Also, cafes serve tons of vegan options. Honestly, this is kind of aggravating. Just say "no thanks" for Pete's sake!

I wanted the Hot chocolate I'm not blaming anyone for this. Nope all me! I was hungry.

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What do you mean insisted? When people insist, you insist back that you don't want it. If you drink it, people are just going to keep thinking you're OK with drinking it and keep ordering it for you.
Seems like you've been having this social problem for well over a month now... A bit suspicious. Even when I was an extremely shy person, I could say "no, thanks" to something I didn't want. So, I'm sure you can too if you really don't want it.

Yep, it was all me (not being sarcastic)

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Originally Posted by no whey jose View Post
Seriously. If someone handed you a cup of poop and said "eat this," would you? Of course not. So why do you accept milk?

It's happened too many times now to keep blaming your friends and family. If you're not ready to go vegan, there's no shame in that. Just do what you can until you're ready, and accept responsibility for the animal products you do eat. Nobody's perfect.


Edit to add: I know that Starbucks' hot chocolate is vegan if you ask for soya milk and no whip. It's likely the same at many other cafes. Other great options are soya lattes (either plain or sweetened with flavoured syrup), tea with or without soya milk, Italian sodas (sparkling water plus syrup), and juice.

Yes, I know I wasn't blaming anyone in my post
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#76 Old 06-16-2015, 02:58 PM
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You kind of were implying that you drank it because she insisted.
Just admit to yourself that you're not ready to be vegan or vegetarian (not sure if you accept meat when people insist) yet, and stop blaming social situations for it. It is really not hard at all to say "no, thanks".
This has happened quite a few times now. You come here, blame a social situation for eating meat or dairy, and then finally admit that you wanted to eat it.

Try hot chocolate with water.
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#77 Old 06-17-2015, 01:59 AM
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If you were hungry, you could have said "I'll take a hot chocolate with soya milk or water, please." Or you could have bought a banana or a pack of nuts. I refuse to believe that there was nothing vegan in the entire cafe, or that you couldn't have just gone somewhere else. Do you carry food in your bag? You should always keep a few snacks with you in case you get hungry while you're out.
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#78 Old 06-17-2015, 10:40 AM
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You kind of were implying that you drank it because she insisted.
Just admit to yourself that you're not ready to be vegan or vegetarian (not sure if you accept meat when people insist) yet, and stop blaming social situations for it. It is really not hard at all to say "no, thanks".
This has happened quite a few times now. You come here, blame a social situation for eating meat or dairy, and then finally admit that you wanted to eat it.
Try hot chocolate with water.

Jeez, OK let me go in depth. FFS...


I was one a group trip to a Workshop in a town hall, our ''leader'' decided that we should all go to a café to have lunch or a light snack after. I wasn't hungry and I had water on hand I had no intention to drink Hot chocolate nor was a hungry - I don't know why I said that on the other post. She ''insisted'' because she already bought it and put it in front of me. So I thought to myself I either through it down the sink or drink it. I drank it because one it would be rude to chuck it down the sink and two ONE GLASS of Milk wouldn't change my views or save any cow, really.


I do have social anxiety and there's been many times where I've said ''no I don't want so and so'' of course I think if it was meat in front of me I simply wouldn't eat it.
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If you were hungry, you could have said "I'll take a hot chocolate with soya milk or water, please." Or you could have bought a banana or a pack of nuts. I refuse to believe that there was nothing vegan in the entire cafe, or that you couldn't have just gone somewhere else. Do you carry food in your bag? You should always keep a few snacks with you in case you get hungry while you're out.


Why not? Most places don't have vegan alternatives I don't live in a vegan paradise.
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#79 Old 06-17-2015, 11:01 AM
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Well, if you work with people who buy food for you without even asking if you want it or not, you should probably tell them you're vegan.

Also, if you don't believe one glass of milk will make any difference, why the initial sad first post on this situation? Makes little sense.
You keep changing your story back and forth between "I didn't want it" and "I wanted it". I don't understand you.
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#80 Old 06-17-2015, 11:40 AM
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Most places don't have vegan alternatives I don't live in a vegan paradise.
It's a cafe. Surely they had coffee? You'd be hard pressed to find a place with zero vegan options. Sometimes the vegan options are boring, but there's always something.

It's not rude to say "I'm sorry, but I can't have milk." You could even say it will make you sick.
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#81 Old 06-17-2015, 11:54 AM
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Well, if you work with people who buy food for you without even asking if you want it or not, you should probably tell them you're vegan.

Also, if you don't believe one glass of milk will make any difference, why the initial sad first post on this situation? Makes little sense.
You keep changing your story back and forth between "I didn't want it" and "I wanted it". I don't understand you.

Because I didn't think I'd be given the 3rd degree...

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It's a cafe. Surely they had coffee? You'd be hard pressed to find a place with zero vegan options. Sometimes the vegan options are boring, but there's always something.

It's not rude to say "I'm sorry, but I can't have milk." You could even say it will make you sick.

If you read the post then you'll see that I didn't decide nor did I want anything in the café.


I'm not going to lie about something making me sick.
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#82 Old 06-17-2015, 12:02 PM
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If you read the post then you'll see that I didn't decide nor did I want anything in the café.
I was responding to your questioning how I knew that the cafe had vegan options.

I'm not sure what you want us to say when you post this stuff. We've offered advice as to what you can do to avoid these situations in the future, but every time we offer a solution you come up with a new excuse. Do you just want reassurance that other vegans occasionally eat meat and drink milk? Because vegans don't intentionally do those things, BUT it's perfectly acceptable to simply reduce the amount of animal products you eat gradually. Then you won't have to feel guilty about it, or have your days "tainted by immorality," as you said earlier. You're the only one who can make these choices. What is it that you hope we can do?
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#83 Old 06-17-2015, 12:09 PM
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I'm not sure what replies you expect from us anymore. People keep giving you advice on how to deal with social situations, and you keep on coming here with the same stories about how you ate *insert animal product* during a social situation.

If you yourself don't have a problem with drinking one glass of milk, cool. It's your choice. But I still do not understand why that initial first post where you acted all upset you had drank it. I still don't understand you. You keep making no sense. You either wanted to drink it, or didn't want it. You can't just change your story based on the replies you're getting. That makes it really hard for people here to help you, too.
If you're not ready to quit dairy yet, it's fine. Take longer to transition.

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#84 Old 06-17-2015, 12:52 PM
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Feels like it's pointless to tell us these situations like you need to work on them, but you give off the impression you don't really care. If you are fine with the occasional consumption of animal products ok. But acting like you want to avoid it and get advice from us then acting like you don't see what the problem is with these situations seems counter productive.
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#85 Old 06-17-2015, 07:05 PM
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I always bring my own vegan food. Do it once and after that people won't be surprised. And if they don't like it...Well who cares? What are they gonna do, spank you? ("If only" I hear you cry)
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#86 Old 06-18-2015, 12:36 AM
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BTW it sounds like you are in the "transitioning phase". Stick to it and develop stronger willpower and you will earn your wings
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