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I became depressed from those who are anti-vegan.

1K views 12 replies 9 participants last post by  Kyron Taylor 
#1 ·
This is a rant more than anything. Most vegans I know came from bad childhoods where they empathise with animals going through oppression and neglect. I came from a bad childhood where I grew up having an obsession with control and superiority. As a child, I would force my parents to let me wave to them until I could no longer see them down the street when they would drive to work. This transpired into, until a few years ago, me screaming, shouting and crying hysterically if my boyfriend wasn't in the mood to have sex when I was. I felt the need to control everyone and everything around me because it was the only way I could be 100% certain things would go perfectly, after a whole childhood of relying on people who would let me down.

After my boyfriend helping me to live a control-free life, which took 5 years to master, I found veganism. I went vegan overnight from watching a documentary and since then, I have felt my old habits coming back to haunt me. I didn't think I would 'relapse', but the other day I realised it had come back. I was catching a train, and I caught the wrong one which was an earlier train but in the right direction. I started hysterically crying and attacking my boyfriend, which ended in me making out like I wanted to break up with him. The night before, he had rejected sex from being too tired, and I had got into a fit just like I used to. I put two and two together and have realised my obsession has come back.

And now I can't control it. This is happened through my turning vegan because I cannot control what people are eating, wearing and thinking. I am completely dependent on the rest of the world to go vegan so that my conscience can finally relax. Every time I hear someone talk about animal byproducts I go crazy, and it's damaging my relationship so much from all my little habits coming back.

I'm seeing a counsellor tomorrow and I feel sorry for them, because they will be subjected to my vegan wrath. If it doesn't turn them vegan, I might just go insane, haha.

Does anyone else have this? Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this?

I just don't know how much longer I can live on in a world where the majority don't give a ****.
 
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#2 ·
(as an aside, I am a vegan, and I had a happy childhood and a happy life, they don't necessarily come connected)


I go through phases of what I call "Omni Rage" where I feel a great rage at omnis and their apathy. It usually passes and I can go back to trying to be a positive influence.
 
#7 · (Edited)
I go through phases of what I call "Omni Rage" where I feel a great rage at omnis and their apathy. It usually passes and I can go back to trying to be a positive influence.
I've never said anything to anyone, but I get depressed when people are piling meat into their shopping cart.

I always want to go over and calmly say "You know that meat used to be an animal....right?" :eek:

I get over it.....until I leave the store and see someone with 4 gallons of milk in their cart. :(
 
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#3 ·
I understand that it is frustrating dealing with people who do not care about animals.

This can hurt inside actually.

I wouldn't get too concerned about not being able to control what others are doing, it will just give you a headache. You can do your best to encourage them to go vegan, though :)
 
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#4 ·
I've converted 6 people to veganism since becoming vegan last August, so I have no issue in setting a good example and being a positive influence - it never feels like enough though. All I can ever think about is the thousands of animals dying every day whilst I sit here and live a life of freedom. Crushing feeling.
 
#5 ·
You have done a great job! :)

I know what you mean - it is terrible to think about what goes on...
 
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#6 ·
What you are describing is common. We really need to be humble. It may help to realize that we are part of this society and world for a reason... being participants in that horrible process for many years, including previous lives. And have only been veggie for a few years now. Our karma is not going to separate from these activities for many, many years. Just because we haven't eaten meat for a few years doesn't mean that we are innocent of our past mistakes yet. Humanity is a very primitive people, and we must cleanse and progress into our more pure direction for a long time to be considered beyond or above this world's behavior. As we actually do distance ourselves as more pure consumers, we then do have an impact with our good energy. But we really should consider that this is our reality right now, and work on preparing and getting to a better world in our next life. Don't let this world get you down due to the behavior that we all enjoyed for a time period. But figure that we need to evolve our soul to be able to belong in a better world out there where people are not doing this stuff they do here.
How can anybody figure that others shouldn't be able to indulge in the things that we indulged in just a few years ago? Let it go, try to help but let it go, and plan on not coming back to this world next time around and plan on going to a more higher evolved place next time.
Hope that ain't too much for you (reincarnation and evolution to better worlds is reality to me).
 
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#8 ·
So sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you recently. I'm a vegan too, so I can definitely understand how stressful it can be when you first transition, to cope with other people making decisions you don't agree with. I also work in the mental health field, and from what you have described, I think it's great that you are seeing a counselor. During the first appointment, it would be a good idea to ask whether this provider has experience with treating obsessions, and particularly with a treatment approach called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)- that's the type of treatment that is most supported by research to help people who struggle with obsessions like the ones you've described.

An experienced therapist can help you find the right strategies and treatment methods to help cope with the anxiety and control issues that it sounds like you've been struggling with for a while- it doesn't mean you necessarily have to give up veganism, but you can learn ways to handle the intense feelings, obsessive thoughts, and behaviors that make it difficult to live your life and engage in relationships the way you want to. I hope the appointment goes well, but remember, if the first person you talk to isn't a good fit, there are other people out there who you'll be more likely to click with, and could really help you. Take care <3
 
#10 ·
This is a rant more than anything. Most vegans I know came from bad childhoods where they empathise with animals going through oppression and neglect. I came from a bad childhood where I grew up having an obsession with control and superiority. As a child, I would force my parents to let me wave to them until I could no longer see them down the street when they would drive to work. This transpired into, until a few years ago, me screaming, shouting and crying hysterically if my boyfriend wasn't in the mood to have sex when I was. I felt the need to control everyone and everything around me because it was the only way I could be 100% certain things would go perfectly, after a whole childhood of relying on people who would let me down.

After my boyfriend helping me to live a control-free life, which took 5 years to master, I found veganism. I went vegan overnight from watching a documentary and since then, I have felt my old habits coming back to haunt me. I didn't think I would 'relapse', but the other day I realised it had come back. I was catching a train, and I caught the wrong one which was an earlier train but in the right direction. I started hysterically crying and attacking my boyfriend, which ended in me making out like I wanted to break up with him. The night before, he had rejected sex from being too tired, and I had got into a fit just like I used to. I put two and two together and have realised my obsession has come back.

And now I can't control it. This is happened through my turning vegan because I cannot control what people are eating, wearing and thinking. I am completely dependent on the rest of the world to go vegan so that my conscience can finally relax. Every time I hear someone talk about animal byproducts I go crazy, and it's damaging my relationship so much from all my little habits coming back.

I'm seeing a counsellor tomorrow and I feel sorry for them, because they will be subjected to my vegan wrath. If it doesn't turn them vegan, I might just go insane, haha.

Does anyone else have this? Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this?

I just don't know how much longer I can live on in a world where the majority don't give a ****.
sounds like your boy friend is a great guy. Try to think about extending your compassion to him as well. Maybe you can be an ******* to random people but don't do it to your BF. He's put up with a lot from you but still there for you it seems. So start by being nice to him.
 
#11 ·
I agree with you

Though I turned vegan a few days ago, I feel like I have been living the worst life. Look at the slaughterhouses we have. They are full of groans and mourns. Animals are crying.

Do we really need to deny a calf its milk? The world will change when we realize that humans are stealing from animal 'babies' milk. @kitopiaclub:)
 
#12 ·
Welcome to veganism, kitopiaclub :)

I agree with you completely...It is a cruel cruel world for innocent animals :(
 
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#13 ·
I think it's perfectly natural to want to control everything. People often want to make things "right" and view "their way" and the "right way." Maybe, as it causes you a lot of stress, you may have some form of OCD - though, I wouldn't suggest self-diagnosing. Let's see what your counselor thinks.

Though, it could just be that you have a "short fuse" and need to let it out every now and then. Try to learn to bite your lip and if you need, when you're home, have a cry/scream into your pillow. Then take a deep breathe and know that, you physically can't change everything. People are usually good people and want to do the right thing. But their view of what's right is often different. (either influenced by religion, their parents, society, etc. Or they just differ in thought.) - Instead of trying to change everyone else, just take pride in the fact that, you are doing something good. Don't be aggressive as it hurts your case more than not. Be calm, collected. Cooooool. :) Those who are curious and ask you questions. They're the one's who you should "preach" to. Heh.
 
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