Getting tired of defensive non-vegans. - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-05-2015, 04:23 PM
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Getting tired of defensive non-vegans.

Yeah, I'm really getting sick of these people.

Had guests over at our house. One of them asks me why I'm vegan.

I usually don't discuss it with people because most of the time I have a bad experience, mostly because of the way the other people react.

Convo goes something like this:
"So why are you vegan?"
"Many reasons.... I'll tell you later." Don't want to start a debate at the dinner table.

Then the person goes into a lecture about why they aren't vegan. What makes you think I care?

Talks about how he thinks its natural, something about cavemen, and its necessary. And then protein.

At this point I'm just thinking to myself... Really? I haven't even told you anything and already you are becoming defensive in your beliefs? It was just mind boggling.

I finished my food and just left the table. At this point if anybody goes defensive for no reason.. I'm going to tell them to **** off. They aren't worth my time.
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#2 Old 01-05-2015, 05:52 PM
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These people are ignorant and afraid of change!

Every time you eat with non-vegans at say a social gathering there will always be someone who does something like this!
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#3 Old 01-05-2015, 06:03 PM
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Yeah, it's amazing isn't it? You barely have to say anything, just mention vegan, and people start ranting and raving. Yet vegans are called pushy and judgmental. Hmph!
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#4 Old 01-05-2015, 06:37 PM
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I'm not really sure why people rant and rave for no reason...Maybe they feel threatened? Maybe evolution has just made people naturally aggressive (look it up it's a thing hehe)...
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#5 Old 01-06-2015, 12:15 AM
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These are people who are guests in your house? My goodness how appalling rude! I'd be tempted to show them the door ... and ask them to come back when they can refrain from insulting their host.
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#6 Old 01-06-2015, 12:50 AM
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I think there is the false image of the, "self-important and smug vegan" in popular culture and that plays a lot into a defensive attitude.
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#7 Old 01-06-2015, 01:44 AM
 
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^^^This.

I always see this quote on facebook "How do you know someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll let you know." And it makes me mad and yet how do you comment on it? Because then you're reinforcing it!!
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#8 Old 01-06-2015, 01:57 AM
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Yeah, it's amazing isn't it? You barely have to say anything, just mention vegan, and people start ranting and raving. Yet vegans are called pushy and judgmental. Hmph!
Ofcourse, because they push the issue and then you get annoyed and respond grumpily. Which they take as ''vegans are all pushy and grumpy!'', I guess people like stereotypes.
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#9 Old 01-06-2015, 07:46 AM
 
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I've never really understood that attitude either. I don't ask people why they eat the way they do (or vote the way they do, or worship the way they do, etc.) so it's difficult for me to comprehend why anyone cares what I'm doing. One of my best friends started giving me a hard time at lunch one day over my food choices and just wouldn't let up. Initially, I kept my head down and politely mumbled that he needed to stop. He didn't get the point so, after about 30 more seconds of his nonsense, I looked him in the eye and told him that this decision was extremely important to me and that if he wanted to preserve our friendship he needed to stop being so damn rude. He's been very accommodating ever since, even admitting that he doesn't eat the way he should.

For me, it depends on what my relationship is with the person. If it's a friend that's just picking on me in a good natured way I'll try to laugh it off. If it's someone I don't know (I'll sometimes sit at the bar and eat in a restaurant) and they have the audacity to question my dinner choice, then all bets are off. I may tell them to mind their own business or I may look at whatever crappy bar food they're eating, smirk and say "Yeah, you're really not in a position to judge now are you?" That usually stops the conversation in it's tracks.



I'm all for being polite to people but sometimes they seem to mistake politeness for weakness when it come to conversations about veganism. It's rather annoying IMO.
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Last edited by Evolution9; 01-06-2015 at 07:48 AM. Reason: spelling
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#10 Old 01-06-2015, 09:44 AM
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It's not just veganism. Narrow-minded people find it 'threatening' when someone has a differing view or opinion or lifestyle to their own, and that split second of having to consider the possibility of a different way of looking at things sends them into a defensive tail spin. I don't exactly go about loudly "broadcasting" my views and opinions or the way I choose to live my life, but find many of the things I support/don't support illicit strong reactions the second someone finds out I feel that way. I don't even have to say anything really and they launch into a tirade defending their own POV. I usually just kind of sit there with a deadpan expression and let them make a fool out of themselves to attack me without any provocation. Depending on situation, it can be really embarrassing for the "overly defensive" person, and at least it is not stooping to their level. I don't mind having intelligent discussions with people who have opposing views, but I don't like you shoving your views down my throat in an aggressive manner when I didn't do the same to you. Ususally I remain silent, but if pressed to speak, I usually try to either move the one sided argument the offender is having with themselves to something less controversial or say "I don't have anything nice to say, so I choose to remain silent" or "I don't agree and choose not to participate in this discussion".

Other 'sensitive' subjects beyond veganism I find to trigger this "instantly argumentative" reaction upon people realizing- being an atheist, not participating in voting, not owning a TV, being fairly minimalist, not having debt/being financially responsible/following a budget, didn't go to college, using cloth products instead of wasteful paper products, not caring for dogs jumping on/slobbering on me regardless of how "friendly" they are (and probably several more I can't think of off the top of my head). I have never felt a desire to conform to anyone else's "standards" of living/behavior though and frankly don't care what anyone thinks. I try to be the bigger person and not to insult, pointlessly argue with or impose my views on anyone else.
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#11 Old 01-06-2015, 11:14 AM
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It's considerate of their dining experience for us not to bring up things that would turn their stomachs. But they're not all so considerate of the same thing in return. It got to the point once where I shut it down by saying "We can talk about this later if you really want to. But if you don't mind, I don't like to talk about meat while I'm eating." We too like to enjoy our meals without intrusive graphic images ruining our appetites.
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#12 Old 01-06-2015, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Go Vegan View Post
I'm not really sure why people rant and rave for no reason...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwibird08 View Post
...Narrow-minded people find it 'threatening' when someone has a differing view or opinion or lifestyle to their own...
This is certainly a major reason people rant and rave seemingly for no reason.
Another common reason, which can be hard to distinguish at times, is simple greed for ego. Many people really get off on the overt proliferation of their ego, it makes them seem 'real' or substantial or something. It doesnt matter if people love them or hate them so long as their ego expands. If someone hates them at least theyre acknowledging their ego, and thus fulfilling their wish. Its why some people get extremely opinionated and vocal about meaningless things or blatantly offensive or irrational things, it establishes proof of a 'unique' self construct.
So when people go nuts about their bacon loving caveman ancestors, or go into an apoplectic fit over the proper way to hold a cookie, rant about racial superiority, spray graffiti on your fence, or try to convert you to their religion consider that it may actually have nothing to do with you and they are simply shallow fools overly enamored with the establishment of their little ego.
For thousands of hours of supporting evidence, just visit youtube
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#13 Old 01-06-2015, 11:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel View Post
Yeah, I'm really getting sick of these people.

Had guests over at our house. One of them asks me why I'm vegan.

I usually don't discuss it with people because most of the time I have a bad experience, mostly because of the way the other people react.

Convo goes something like this:
"So why are you vegan?"
"Many reasons.... I'll tell you later." Don't want to start a debate at the dinner table.

Then the person goes into a lecture about why they aren't vegan. What makes you think I care?

Talks about how he thinks its natural, something about cavemen, and its necessary. And then protein.

At this point I'm just thinking to myself... Really? I haven't even told you anything and already you are becoming defensive in your beliefs? It was just mind boggling.

I finished my food and just left the table. At this point if anybody goes defensive for no reason.. I'm going to tell them to **** off. They aren't worth my time.
You had caveman guests at your house?? No wonder they reacted the way they did. Mind, if I were a guest at your house, I'd probably ask for the recipe instead...Just sayin'.
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#14 Old 01-06-2015, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auxin View Post
This is certainly a major reason people rant and rave seemingly for no reason.
Another common reason, which can be hard to distinguish at times, is simple greed for ego. Many people really get off on the overt proliferation of their ego, it makes them seem 'real' or substantial or something. It doesnt matter if people love them or hate them so long as their ego expands. If someone hates them at least theyre acknowledging their ego, and thus fulfilling their wish. Its why some people get extremely opinionated and vocal about meaningless things or blatantly offensive or irrational things, it establishes proof of a 'unique' self construct.
So when people go nuts about their bacon loving caveman ancestors, or go into an apoplectic fit over the proper way to hold a cookie, rant about racial superiority, spray graffiti on your fence, or try to convert you to their religion consider that it may actually have nothing to do with you and they are simply shallow fools overly enamored with the establishment of their little ego.
For thousands of hours of supporting evidence, just visit youtube
This ego explanation sounds pretty plausible...I'm sure there must be a sound psychological reason for people reacting to vegans (and other "minorities" for that matter) in the way they do...
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#15 Old 01-06-2015, 03:53 PM
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Because they know deep down it's gross and wrong to eat animals, and can't acknowledge it because then they would be acknowledging that their way of eating is gross and wrong. Their bacon is then a pig in a cage listening to the slaughter of others.

And this http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
"In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.[1][2]"
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#16 Old 01-06-2015, 05:01 PM
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I think another reason is because they are brainwashed.

Because when a person who is brainwashed has their beliefs questioned, they quickly become angry and uncomfortable.

And I believe that society, tradition, and the meat and dairy industry has brainwashed people into thinking they have to eat meat.
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#17 Old 01-06-2015, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by LedBoots View Post
Because they know deep down it's gross and wrong to eat animals, and can't acknowledge it because then they would be acknowledging that their way of eating is gross and wrong. Their bacon is then a pig in a cage listening to the slaughter of others.

And this http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
"In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.[1][2]"
This psych quote really sums it up perfectly I think
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#18 Old 01-06-2015, 10:18 PM
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I think some of those people are attempting to turn their perceived predatory skills onto their fellow human-beings. They are "vegan hunting," perhaps with the hope of displaying our severed heads in their den? The thrill of the kill, the sport of it, don'tcha know? They are hoping your answer will be your own defeat. If confronted with this idea, they will of course deny it and back-pedal, because it is part of an unsupportable fantasy they live. I feel sorry for them, because they have no knowledge, not even of themselves....
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#19 Old 01-07-2015, 05:59 AM
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When I studied Psychology we were taught a lot about fear. Humans fear what they don't understand because we can't then predict whether we're safe or not. Phobias exist because the brain cannot understand the concept and thus the only alternative is to see them as a danger, as a way of minimising their negative effect. It's proven that spider phobias can exist because we cannot process how their legs function, and it's also proven that you alleviate the phobia by researching how their legs work. It's the same with the dark. The human first decides whether they understand or not, then either tries harder to understand or tries to deter the 'danger' as a way of minimising it's effect. So, when the lights are turned off in a room, the human finds they cannot possibly register their environment or change in their surroundings, which means the dark has the opportunity to compromise their wellbeing (being attacked). This gets them in attack/fear mode as a way to better deter the danger (being ready to punch someone if they hear footsteps) And therefore, it's the same with veganism. Omnis don't understand vegans, and when finding they cannot possible relate to its concept, they go into attack mode as a way to be ready in case their wellbeing is compromised (vegansim can compromise their mental wellbeing by making them feel guilty). So, omnis attack in the hope that, since they cannot understand and accept you, they can eradicate the threat instead.

This psychology has helped me in the past to understand the ignorance of humans and thoroughly explains why I would always preach out of nowhere to my vegetarian boyfriend about why I'm allowed to eat meat! I think it would be interesting for you to think if this has ever applied to you when you were omni, and going through this 'attack' mode as an alternative to trying to understand.
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#20 Old 01-07-2015, 09:42 AM
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Wow, that's not just very ignorant but also terrible manners! If someone invites you too their house you should atleast have the common sense of not trying to start an argument out of no where.

I think you're right though about them not being worth your time. Most people that get so defensive refuse to listen to any arguments anyway so you're just wasting your breath when you could be doing better things instead (like not be around those kinda people!)
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#21 Old 01-18-2015, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel View Post
Yeah, I'm really getting sick of these people.

Had guests over at our house. One of them asks me why I'm vegan.

I usually don't discuss it with people because most of the time I have a bad experience, mostly because of the way the other people react.

Convo goes something like this:
"So why are you vegan?"
"Many reasons.... I'll tell you later." Don't want to start a debate at the dinner table.

Then the person goes into a lecture about why they aren't vegan. What makes you think I care?

Talks about how he thinks its natural, something about cavemen, and its necessary. And then protein.

At this point I'm just thinking to myself... Really? I haven't even told you anything and already you are becoming defensive in your beliefs? It was just mind boggling.

I finished my food and just left the table. At this point if anybody goes defensive for no reason.. I'm going to tell them to **** off. They aren't worth my time.
Even reading this made me angry as I've experienced this myself quite alot since becoming vegan (only since October).

Maybe they know deep down that what they're doing isn't right and are trying to justify the reasons for it because god forbid they start thinking for themselves.
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