I'm really not sure if I'm going to articulate myself very well.

 

I'm sad all the time, specifically over animal rights issues and meat eaters, etc. I'm angry, I feel alone, blahblahblah. 

 

This happened with me the last time I became vegan, the awareness and depression was just insurmountable. 

 

Can anyone relate? How do you deal with it?

In the final analysis, each one of us, everyone, is alone in life. We make contact with others temporarily, then for one reason or another, we lose touch. But you should take heart that you are part of a great cause that is only just beginning, and can count yourself in the forefront of what's needed for the good of all. I believe in time the whole world will become vegetarian. It has to. This old planet is not going to support killing and meat-eating indefinitely. You've had the vision to see what's right, and volunteered to take it on. You should be very proud. Vegans may be few and far between right now, but our numbers are growing.

I think it's impossible to deal with, you need to accept it. This fragment from "Narcissus and Goldmund" by Hermann Hesse is very important for me:

"He loitered around the fountain at the fish market and watched the fish venders and their burly wives praise their wares, watched them pull the cool silvery fish out of the barrels and offer them for sale, saw the fish open their mouths in pain, their gold eyes rigid with fear as they quietly gave in to death, or resisted it with furious desperation. He was gripped by pity for these animals and by a sad annoyance with human beings. Why were people so numb and crude, so unthinkably stupid and insensitive? How could those fishermen and fishwives, those haggling shoppers not see these mouths, the deathly frightened eyes and wildly flailing tails, the gruesome, useless, desperate battle, this unbearable transformation from mysterious, miraculously beautiful animals—the quiet last shiver that ran across the dying skin before they lay dead and spent—into flattened, miserable slabs of meat for the tables of those jovial paunches? [...] sooner or later, as though by magic, joy and calm would suddenly desert him; all fat plump illusions, all his self-satisfaction and self-importance, and idle peace of mind fell away. Something plunged him into solitude and brooding, made him contemplate suffering and death, the vanity of all undertaking, as he stared into the abyss. At other times a sudden joy blossomed from the hopeless depth of uselessness and horror, a violent infatuation, the desire to sing a beautiful song, to draw. He had only to smell a flower or play with a cat, and his childlike agreement with life came back to him. This time, too, it would come back. Tomorrow or the day after, the world would be good again, it would be wonderful. At least it was so until the sadness returned, the brooding, the remorse for dying fish and wilting flowers, the horror of insensitive, piglike, staring-but-not-seeing human existence".

I relate completely.    I am always angry, sad, depressed, and feel alone.  And because it is more than animal issues, even most vegans are not a comfort to me.  Most vegans in the US support Obama, support statism, are patriotic, have no problem having babies, etc. etc.    I distrust people so much that I have withdrawn from any friends and social life.  

 

Thank you so much <3 I really needed that! 

 

 

Yeah, I am finding it difficult to talk about anything with people in my life; my partner, coworkers, family, friends.. The knowledge that I have trumps any kind of small talk sort of thing -- this stuff is always on my mind and it's hard to accept and wrap my head around, you know? 

 

Thank you everyone for all the responses. I'm glad I'm not the only one with these feelings.

One clarification, just in case. I'm not saying that you must accept everything, I'm just saying that you must accept all your feelings. The world won't change suddenly, and without this, you will finally turn into emotionless zombie. You will spent all your strength fighting and controling these emotions, and no strength would be left for anything else. But if you accept them, you will gain additional strength from them, and at least be able to try to change a small part of the world.

Are you a new vegan? For me it got really bad in the beginning, once the newness of the decision wore off and you enter the "wait- why isn't everyone else doing this?" stage. I feel like it lasted for a long time, but less than a year. Eventually I think that between the increased compassion I feel for all living things and the hard work I have done to step into omnivore's shoes and empathize with their decisions, I have become far more empathetic towards everyone. Veganism taught me that it is okay to love people yet powerfully disagree with their life choices- to the point of seeing their actions to be contributing to a holocaust. I think that unconditional love is the cure for the vegan blues- you must love the tormentors even as you love those they torment. They do not see themselves as bad, after all. And you were one of them once. It is extremely therapeutic in the end. It helps me to recognize when the battle is not for me to fight.

The feeling still comes and goes but I feel like it is worse at the beginning. I think it helps a little to see omnivores as victims of the system as well. Think of before you went vegan. Were you a bad person? Did you want to hurt animals? I see pre-vegan me as a victim of the system. I contributed daily to horrors I never wanted to be a part of. I was convinced I had to be a part of it, convinced not to think about it, convinced it couldn't be that bad. Now I have to live with knowing what I did, of knowing how easy it is to become "sheeple."

Also, and this is from a speech by Dr. Melanie Joy, do not "over-witness." This means don't overexpose yourself to the horrors. You can actually develop a syndrome like PTSD from watching too many of these AR videos, seeing too many of the pictures, reading about too many horrific incidents. When I first went vegan I watched a lot of the videos. I did it to solidify my veganism because I didn't trust myself to stick with it, to better inform people of the horror, and because it became a sick addiction of sorts. I felt like the animals deserved to be seen like that. But it can really mess with your head. Avoid that material as much as possible, only get into it if you are making pamphlets, preparing a speech, or feel your resolve wavering. If an omni agrees to watch earthlings with you, that is activism; if you watch it by yourself, that is self-abuse.

I think that's very well said. I have been vegan for four months now. The diet change was a piece of cake compared to the always heavy heart and constant dissapointment in the people around me...especially my family. I honestly have pushed them all away because I can't watch people knowingly continue supporting torture. How am I supposed to consider them good people now? I feel so alone and inside my head all the time. I almost want to say to people "if you're not vegan then don't talk to me" because at this point their opinions don't matter. I feel like most people are incredibly selfish. And if one more person tells me I need to eat meat or brags about how much meat they eat just to push my buttons, I feel like I'll snap. I am a very nice person...and I feel like my niceness is now so fake and forced on people who do not deserve it

Thank you guys so much for your support. I've been vegan a few times, this time I'm at my second month, and I do have a coworker who is also vegan and just her presence is really encouraging.
I am bipolar anyway, I guess my emotions are a bit extreme to begin with, but the initial feeling of doom has worn off a bit. This time I'm not harassed at all other than some family joking about how they could never go without, etc.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Princess tofu. Big hugs!!!! Reading your post  is so much like how i feel. I wouldnt say I feel depressed, but i definitly  have been dealing  with a lot of strong emotions. Natty6 totally nailed it with the newbie emotions.  Its a lot too deal with. Because as a previous meat eater i never put any thought to the behind the scenes of my big mac or kfc chicken. Now that i know the truth behind meat i just want to strangle everyone for eating it. I have had many confrontations with my boyfirend over him being such an animal lover and yet he will still eat them. Its definitly a process i have had to work through. I too have mental health issues so sometimes emotions can get a bit out of control. But i have been working on controlling myself more. and working threw it. because I myself once ate meat. so i cant really hate everyone that still does. Im just preaching too my boyfriend and family and slowly they are doing less and less meat. My boyfriend has always been super supportive. And i dont buy or cook meat so our house is meat free for the most part unless he picks himself up a fast food burger. Try and chanel all that passion towards making changes in your community and bringing animal awarness too your family and friends. Try not too bottle it up so it brings you sadness. Veggieboards has been a life savour for me. Come here whenever your feeling down and it will surely cheer you up 

I'm glad you're feeling better now.

 

Sometimes it just takes some time to come to terms with how cruel the world can be; we just can't let it change us, or make us callous :)

 

I'm glad things are better this time around for you!

 

Please let us know if you ever need help, or need to vent about anything.

I can relate. It's hard to be immersed in a world where such unspeakable cruelty is widely accepted. I'm clinically depressed (major depressive disorder) but since going vegan it's been more difficult to deal with. But what I remind myself is that what we're doing to better the world is a sacrifice socially. It's better to walk alone in righteousness than to walk with the rest of the planet in guilt. Let it help your self esteem, not hurt it. You're making a tremendous leap and setting an awesome example. You're saving so many animals from a horrible fate. Take pride in that.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk