Resolve is waivering - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 11-27-2013, 08:43 AM
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Oh dear, the past couple days my vegam resolve has been waivering. Being vegetarian was just so easy and everyone was okay with my diet. It is easy to pick the pepperoni off a pizza slice and put it on someone else's, or request that one enchilada have beans instead of chicken. Or there are always side dishes. Vegan is a whole different story. I went to a huge potluck and pretzels were the only food. Last time I went to a restaurant with friends I ate two plates of french fries because they were my only option. I'm in a new city and trying to make some close friends, but I notice my new friend group make snide remarks about how THEY aren't picky eaters, and other things. I worry that my veganism is a barrier to getting close to people. Before anyone says get new friends, that's not really a solution. I work a lot and don't see where or how to meet new people. My S.O. is frustrated with feeling guilty if he wants to eat somewhere and there's nothing good for me to eat and misses how we used to cook good food together when I still ate cheese. I want to be a perfect girlfriend to him too. I live in fear of dinner invitations at anyone's house because my diet requires such special considerations. As a vegetarian I at least could eat all the side dishes. I'm just tired of standing out and the thought of always standing out for the rest of my life is exhausting. I like to blend in, be easy going, not be a "picky eater" - which I have always considered a huge insult because as an omnivore I would eat anything I was offered, no exceptions. Picky eater meant spoiled when I was growing up.
Maybe turkey day is just getting me down but in the last few days I have been seriously thinking my veganism isn't doing that much in the world and vegetarianism is so much easier. My corner of the world is very receptive to vegetarians but not vegans.
I think not knowing anyone into animal rights or even anyone who is vegetarian for any reason at all is killing my vegan spirit. I need some encouragement to remember all the reasons to be vegan. I do notice that animals flock to me like a disney princess since I went vegan. I don't know if it's my attitude or my smell but it's a little weird. There are other good things but they are hard to think of right now.
Most days veganism is the thing I am most proud of about myself. Do you all feel days like this too, where you just feel done with it?
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#2 Old 11-27-2013, 09:30 AM
 
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Ha! Not when i'm losing weight i just say i ate earlier so no thanks :sunny:

 

Seriously being vegan isn't about fitting in with the crowd so you'll not get satisfaction from it, Only some moral graceOh, Humpday, I Get It Hump day!


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#3 Old 11-27-2013, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by natty6 View Post

Oh dear, the past couple days my vegam resolve has been waivering. Being vegetarian was just so easy and everyone was okay with my diet. It is easy to pick the pepperoni off a pizza slice and put it on someone else's, or request that one enchilada have beans instead of chicken. Or there are always side dishes. Vegan is a whole different story. I went to a huge potluck and pretzels were the only food. Last time I went to a restaurant with friends I ate two plates of french fries because they were my only option. I'm in a new city and trying to make some close friends, but I notice my new friend group make snide remarks about how THEY aren't picky eaters, and other things. I worry that my veganism is a barrier to getting close to people. Before anyone says get new friends, that's not really a solution. I work a lot and don't see where or how to meet new people. My S.O. is frustrated with feeling guilty if he wants to eat somewhere and there's nothing good for me to eat and misses how we used to cook good food together when I still ate cheese. I want to be a perfect girlfriend to him too. I live in fear of dinner invitations at anyone's house because my diet requires such special considerations. As a vegetarian I at least could eat all the side dishes. I'm just tired of standing out and the thought of always standing out for the rest of my life is exhausting. I like to blend in, be easy going, not be a "picky eater" - which I have always considered a huge insult because as an omnivore I would eat anything I was offered, no exceptions. Picky eater meant spoiled when I was growing up.
Maybe turkey day is just getting me down but in the last few days I have been seriously thinking my veganism isn't doing that much in the world and vegetarianism is so much easier. My corner of the world is very receptive to vegetarians but not vegans.
I think not knowing anyone into animal rights or even anyone who is vegetarian for any reason at all is killing my vegan spirit. I need some encouragement to remember all the reasons to be vegan. I do notice that animals flock to me like a disney princess since I went vegan. I don't know if it's my attitude or my smell but it's a little weird. There are other good things but they are hard to think of right now.
Most days veganism is the thing I am most proud of about myself. Do you all feel days like this too, where you just feel done with it?

 

How long has it been since you went vegan?

 

I felt most of what you posted above when I first went vegan - little over a year ago. I STILL feel some of this, but it does get way easier as time goes on. 

 

In my real life, not here at VB I only know maybe 1 or 2 vegans I like and very few vegetarians. It can be very frustrating, but you have to remember that you went vegan for you (or animals) not other people. Can you suggest some vegan friendly places to hang out when it comes to food? Using Happy Cow as a resource. Having to eat just fries or pretzels would be enough to drive anyone mad. 

 

Also, I think you're right about Thanksgiving - it can totally get you down. My whole family is eating meat, and all kinds of animal products. I'm along for the ride, but have to just buck up and bring my own food because it's not at my house this year. I'm taking a mini vegan "turkey" some vegan butter and milk and will make my own little plate at the house. It sucks that I have to do extra work, but I don't want to eat the animal stuff so it's worth it. 

 

Have you read the it gets better vegan thread - it's not active, but the people who posted had some good stuff to say. 


~ Jennifer
 
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#4 Old 11-27-2013, 10:42 AM
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Can you call up the restaurants ahead of the meal and ask if they can alter any dishes or make you something simple that is vegan? I've found by giving places a day or two to prepare, any decent place will try to do their best for you. You could always claim egg and dairy intolerance if they are not willing to try and accommodate a vegan.

 

Try having your new friends around for dinner at yours and prepare a full on feast covering as many tastes and cuisines as you can - show them there is so much more than salad and chips! They may need to see and taste vegan food to realise just how much stuff is suitable - and delicious. I've had so many people say, 'wow, you can eat that?' just because they are fairly uneducated about what goes into different foods. I don't mean they are stupid, they just don't know what stuff is or where it comes from. If they still struggle to provide food for you, offer to bring your own so that they don't have to go to too much trouble, or offer some simple recipes for ideas.

 

Unfortunately, veganism isn't always going to make you lots of friends easily - so many people are freaked out by it. But then maybe they are not the right friends?! I hope you are feeling better about your compassionate and caring choices soon, and your resolve to live a cruelty-free life strengthens again.

 

nooch x

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#5 Old 11-27-2013, 12:24 PM
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Can you call up the restaurants ahead of the meal and ask if they can alter any dishes or make you something simple that is vegan? I've found by giving places a day or two to prepare, any decent place will try to do their best for you. You could always claim egg and dairy intolerance if they are not willing to try and accommodate a vegan.

 

This! People get nutty about vegan but say you have an allergy and people go out of their way to accommodate. I know some argue that claiming allergies does nothing to further the vegan movement, but I disagree. Heck if it lowers your stress level and helps you stay vegan, I say try it. 


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#6 Old 11-27-2013, 01:42 PM
 
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This has not been a concern of mine although its a let down to some of my friends but you know what I was vegan for four years in high-school and I was in great shape. But college happened and I accommodated my friends and gf and just stopped. I suddenly ballooned from 140 Ibs to 205. I have been a vegan now for three weeks and collectively have removed 80 % of the fat on my body and gained 4 pounds of muscle. The positives out weigh the negatives in my opinion an my gf is not a vegan and she has learned that I'm doing this for me and rather or not she is apart of it matters not one bit. So when I'm sitting at the family turkey table Thursday night I'm going to have my own plate of stuff that I know is not killing me or any other animal.
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#7 Old 11-27-2013, 01:54 PM
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This has not been a concern of mine although its a let down to some of my friends but you know what I was vegan for four years in high-school and I was in great shape. But college happened and I accommodated my friends and gf and just stopped. I suddenly ballooned from 140 Ibs to 205. I have been a vegan now for three weeks and collectively have removed 80 % of the fat on my body and gained 4 pounds of muscle. The positives out weigh the negatives in my opinion an my gf is not a vegan and she has learned that I'm doing this for me and rather or not she is apart of it matters not one bit. So when I'm sitting at the family turkey table Thursday night I'm going to have my own plate of stuff that I know is not killing me or any other animal.
Welcome Matty, are you by chance a protégé of our member Death?
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#8 Old 11-27-2013, 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by natty6 View Post

Oh dear, the past couple days my vegam resolve has been waivering. Being vegetarian was just so easy and everyone was okay with my diet. It is easy to pick the pepperoni off a pizza slice and put it on someone else's, or request that one enchilada have beans instead of chicken. Or there are always side dishes. Vegan is a whole different story. I went to a huge potluck and pretzels were the only food. Last time I went to a restaurant with friends I ate two plates of french fries because they were my only option. I'm in a new city and trying to make some close friends, but I notice my new friend group make snide remarks about how THEY aren't picky eaters, and other things. I worry that my veganism is a barrier to getting close to people. Before anyone says get new friends, that's not really a solution. I work a lot and don't see where or how to meet new people. My S.O. is frustrated with feeling guilty if he wants to eat somewhere and there's nothing good for me to eat and misses how we used to cook good food together when I still ate cheese. I want to be a perfect girlfriend to him too. I live in fear of dinner invitations at anyone's house because my diet requires such special considerations. As a vegetarian I at least could eat all the side dishes. I'm just tired of standing out and the thought of always standing out for the rest of my life is exhausting. I like to blend in, be easy going, not be a "picky eater" - which I have always considered a huge insult because as an omnivore I would eat anything I was offered, no exceptions. Picky eater meant spoiled when I was growing up.
Maybe turkey day is just getting me down but in the last few days I have been seriously thinking my veganism isn't doing that much in the world and vegetarianism is so much easier. My corner of the world is very receptive to vegetarians but not vegans.
I think not knowing anyone into animal rights or even anyone who is vegetarian for any reason at all is killing my vegan spirit. I need some encouragement to remember all the reasons to be vegan. I do notice that animals flock to me like a disney princess since I went vegan. I don't know if it's my attitude or my smell but it's a little weird. There are other good things but they are hard to think of right now.
Most days veganism is the thing I am most proud of about myself. Do you all feel days like this too, where you just feel done with it?

Have you tried meetup.com? There's a lot of veg*n meetups. What city do you live in? Some are more veg friendly then others.


Anytime I think I'm perfect, I remember that my cousin lives on an island, and I've never walked over to visit her.
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#9 Old 11-28-2013, 11:28 PM
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Thanks for the support guys. I have tried vegan meetup in my city but they always meet while I'm at work- I work nights and weekends. I think I'll be alright. Where I used to live my friends were all a little strange and mostly very progressive. Two of my closest friends wished they were vegetarian but thought it was too hard. Their respect for my choice was appreciated. Also I was friends with younger people than my group is here, so we all had less money and mostly everyone ate individually before meeting up, or else we went out to eat. Here my friends are very into dinner parties, which has put a lot of stress on me to blend in more. Also my boyfriend started getting into football because his work has a fantasy team, so we started going to little sportsbars that only sell wings and hamburgers. It's just a hard adjustment for me when in my old city I could sneak by as a vegan much easier and without drawing attention. I stick out a lot more here and that is something I'll need to get used to. My new goal might be to find and bring into my group one really cool vegetarian or vegan to even things out.
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