First rude encounter with a non-vegan - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 07-18-2010, 07:53 AM
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So I have lived here three years, and prior to coming here I always went to church. But this is not an over friendly place to live, although beautiful. After three years the Baptists finally came knocking, inviting us to a social evening. I went, with my 9yo son and 12 yo daughter.



There was a chocolate tasting quiz, and of course I couldn't eat any. I didn't make a fuss, the children took part. Anyway, this one lady insists I try some. I kept saying no thank you, and eventually said "I can't eat it, I'm vegan".

"oh, really?" she replies. She then turns to her husband who ahd come over to stand with us, and tells him "We have one of those vegans in our midst". WTF? I'm not a flaming ALIEN!



He then looks at me, and looks at her, and says "don't they eat chocolate?" I HATE THAT. I hate it when I am there and people ask something about me, to someone else. So I answered... "I can't speak for all vegans, but I DO eat chocolate, just not chocolate that contains dairy products". "Ridiculous" he replies and walked off!



IGNO-RAMOUS!
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#2 Old 07-18-2010, 07:59 AM
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Wow, that really was rude!
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#3 Old 07-18-2010, 08:05 AM
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I don't ever say I can't, or that I'm vegan. I just say I don't eat X, and if asked why not, I say I don't eat dairy products. If pressed I'll go into why, or if it's assumed I'm on a diet.

So many people feel vegans are just obsessive without reason. People have their pictures of farm animals in their heads and think the exposes are just extreme, or edited. I feel it's better to slowly warm them up, by letting them know you first. Knowing you're something they have prejudices to just makes it harder to get the point of why you're vegan across.

If you just politely refuse it could spark more interest in why, and allow them to find you're not just wacky.

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#4 Old 07-18-2010, 08:10 AM
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That's extremely rude. I have an aunt who is very allergic to chocolate. People lose their minds a little when it comes to that food and assume everybody can or wants to eat it.
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#5 Old 07-18-2010, 09:02 AM
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I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm not surprised. Baptists are exactly known for being progressive.
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#6 Old 07-18-2010, 09:19 AM
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If people ask me if I can eat something, I tell them "I can eat anything I want." But if it's something I will not eat, something not vegan, I will tell them I choose not to eat that.
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#7 Old 07-18-2010, 09:44 AM
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Wow, that is rude. I don't even know what I would have said in that situation because I would have been so shocked.
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#8 Old 07-18-2010, 09:49 AM
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OOO I am sorry about that! It is always dissapointing when a situation has to turn into something more complicated and less enjoyable. Especially with it doesn't have too. It is an interesting concept that goes really deep in some cases. I have been a veggie all my life and only recently became vegan. But growing up in the rural mid-west, and being vegetarian.... Puhleeeez. I got questioned and poked and prodded all the time. People would ask to pay me to try meat or fight with me that fish isn't meat, etc. I guess I am used to the rudeness, but the lack of acceptance is frustrating at times. Just like you said, we are not aliens! We are normal people, with, in my 'opinion', a slightly more enlightened out look. Not to say we are better, just affected differently by things. The confidence that our decisions requires is actually immense and kudos to all of us!
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#9 Old 07-18-2010, 10:35 AM
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I would have said, "Actually, it's pretty ridiculous to harm animals just because you can."
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#10 Old 07-18-2010, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penny79' date='18 July 2010 - 12:35 PM' timestamp='1279474540' post='2675410 View Post


I would have said, "Actually, it's pretty ridiculous to harm animals just because you can."





Good answer.



Laura
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#11 Old 07-18-2010, 11:14 AM
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Wow that is extremely rude!! My first rude encounter was when I was first becoming veg, 3 years ago. I told my friend about it, and she was telling me how it was weird, and how I needed to eat meat and such. And this was at our job, she was the cook that night, and she cooked me some meat, and I ate it, which I felt totally horrible about afterward.



But of course I don't let those kinda things bother me now, or to the point of eating meat.
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#12 Old 07-18-2010, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven815' date='18 July 2010 - 12:11 PM' timestamp='1279476660' post='2675427 View Post


Good answer.



Laura





Ditto!!
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#13 Old 07-18-2010, 12:07 PM
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Ah, it happens. Last year at Christmas, my uncles at the next table were munching of their turkey, loudly discussing that I didn't know what I was missing. And I haven't eaten meat for years ... and still. People are ignorant, and the way I look at it is, if they don't think I know what I'm missing, they don't know what they're really eating.
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#14 Old 07-18-2010, 12:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penny79' date='18 July 2010 - 10:35 AM' timestamp='1279474540' post='2675410 View Post


I would have said, "Actually, it's pretty ridiculous to harm animals just because you can."



Ooh I like that. That will come in handy.

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That is the essence of humanity.
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#15 Old 07-18-2010, 12:43 PM
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I think their knees should have had an encounter with shining forks.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#16 Old 07-18-2010, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by delicious' date='19 July 2010 - 05:02 AM' timestamp='1279468933' post='2675369 View Post


I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm not surprised. Baptists are exactly known for being progressive.



agree! I belong to a Baptist Christian church... and they think I'm weird for not actively eating in the church shared lunches. When i tell them i'm a Vegan, they act as if I'm some kind of alien! It's horrible!
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#17 Old 07-18-2010, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven815' date='18 July 2010 - 01:11 PM' timestamp='1279476660' post='2675427 View Post


Good answer.



Laura



Agreed. Unfortunately, as long as there are living things for people to kill for their consumption, they will always find a way to "justify" their doings, in their own minds anyway.
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#18 Old 07-18-2010, 04:07 PM
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OMG! That is astonishingly rude! What a twat!

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#19 Old 07-18-2010, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiz' date='18 July 2010 - 04:07 PM' timestamp='1279494429' post='2675545 View Post


OMG! That is astonishingly rude! What a twat!



I totally second that!

I don't want to sound like I am making excuses for their behaviour...because no matter what, they were definitely rude to you, and you have every right to be irked! But hopefully they are just ignorant on what goes on in dairy farms...and they probably consider you not eating their chocolate as a diss on their product, so they out-lashed. Hopefully!
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#20 Old 07-18-2010, 06:19 PM
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I think you responded perfectly. Think of that exchange as an opportunity to confirm to yourself why you're Vegan in the first place. I get comments like this all the time, along with all the ol' "Don't you feel like you're missing out?", "So, what CAN you eat?" and my personal favourite... *wrinkled brow of confusion/pity* "You're Vegan?... WHY?"



10% of our day is what happens to us, and 90% is how we react to what happens. Don't worry too much, just stay true to yourself and nothing else matters
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#21 Old 07-18-2010, 06:36 PM
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Every time I see this thread title, I think it says "First nude encounted with a non-vegan"

Quote:
"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.”
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
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#22 Old 07-18-2010, 06:46 PM
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I'm sure this guy spreads a lot of nastiness to strangers wherever he goes.



In a way I appreciate it when people show this side of themselves from the first meeting, in the sense that I know if I ever come into contact with them again they are not someone I will spend any time getting to know.

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#23 Old 07-19-2010, 01:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River' date='18 July 2010 - 09:36 PM' timestamp='1279503386' post='2675587 View Post


Every time I see this thread title, I think it says "First nude encounted with a non-vegan"



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#24 Old 07-21-2010, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penny79' date='19 July 2010 - 06:35 AM' timestamp='1279474540' post='2675410 View Post


I would have said, "Actually, it's pretty ridiculous to harm animals just because you can."



I'm so using this. However it will probably be met with a "but meat tastes so good". Blech.
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#25 Old 07-21-2010, 10:09 PM
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Yes, it's SO "ridiculous" to not want to eat a cow's lacteal secretions.
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#26 Old 07-22-2010, 04:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ApplesliceLiz' date='19 July 2010 - 02:49 AM' timestamp='1279471741' post='2675390 View Post


OOO I am sorry about that! It is always dissapointing when a situation has to turn into something more complicated and less enjoyable. Especially with it doesn't have too. It is an interesting concept that goes really deep in some cases. I have been a veggie all my life and only recently became vegan. But growing up in the rural mid-west, and being vegetarian.... Puhleeeez. I got questioned and poked and prodded all the time. People would ask to pay me to try meat or fight with me that fish isn't meat, etc. I guess I am used to the rudeness, but the lack of acceptance is frustrating at times. Just like you said, we are not aliens! We are normal people, with, in my 'opinion', a slightly more enlightened out look. Not to say we are better, just affected differently by things. The confidence that our decisions requires is actually immense and kudos to all of us!





Quote:
Originally Posted by andyxcore' date='19 July 2010 - 05:07 AM' timestamp='1279480041' post='2675452 View Post


Ah, it happens. Last year at Christmas, my uncles at the next table were munching of their turkey, loudly discussing that I didn't know what I was missing. And I haven't eaten meat for years ... and still. People are ignorant, and the way I look at it is, if they don't think I know what I'm missing, they don't know what they're really eating.





This is the bit i don't get, why so many people feel the need to push you to eat meat. 'It's just bacon, just have some.' 'This steak is SO GOOD, you HAVE to try it.' 'I made brownies....they've got egg and butter, but you have to try some.'



and then of course, if you acquiesce, it'll be used against you later.
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#27 Old 07-22-2010, 04:35 AM
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I'm sorry you had to deal wth that. What and a-hole.
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#28 Old 07-22-2010, 04:46 AM
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Ill probably get flamed badly for this, but I would have said Richard Dawkins eats cakes too!!!!!
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#29 Old 07-22-2010, 06:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyDog' date='18 July 2010 - 11:19 AM' timestamp='1279469944' post='2675376 View Post


If people ask me if I can eat something, I tell them "I can eat anything I want." But if it's something I will not eat, something not vegan, I will tell them I choose not to eat that.

That's a great response!
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#30 Old 07-22-2010, 08:29 PM
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I guess I am alone here in this, but if this incident had happened to me, I would not have viewed those people as rude, and I would not have given the incident a second thought. Given our society's current level of development, I fully expect people to view veganism as "weird", and I view it as my job to demonstrate to people that vegans are sane and rational people. In fact, I would have just been pleasantly surprised that they knew what the word "vegan" meant.



And in any case, we are not the victims here. What is worst: The fact that people behave towards us in a way which we might view as rude, or the fact that they are knowingly or unknowingly causing hundreds of animals to be tortured to death.



-Eugene

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