I understand what the OP is saying. There have been a couple times when I got overwhelmed about monitoring every detail of my life for animal products. It was enough to drive me mad, and it almost derailed my veg*nism completely. I have realized that I do not have to be perfect today, as long as I am working towards the end goal, which is eliminating any products that contain animals or were tested on animals. So, I have cut out eggs and dairy completely, and I am working towards finding substitutes for products with trace ingredients. As far as household items and toiletries, as I use something up I am replacing it with a vegan and cruelty free product.
For me this is a journey. I don't know when I will get there, but I feel good about the changes I am making. It is not practical (or environmentally sound) to throw out everything and start over, so this is my way of working towards living a cruelty free life.