Rules of Detroit - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 10-18-2006, 03:36 PM
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The "You know you live in California.." thread inspired me to dig this up out of my saved mail.

If you don't have a sense of humor, stop reading now.





For those of you who plan to visit Detroit, here

are few rules to follow and for the rest of us who are Detroiters will smile and shake our heads.




1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's

Di-troit - NOT Dee-troit. If you pronounce it

Dee-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo

and here for the country Music hoe-down.



2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

Detroit has its own version of traffic rules...

Hold on and pray! There is no such thing as a

dangerous high-speed chase in Detroit. Everyone

drives like that.



3. When asking for directions, all directions start with, "What do I look like - #!#*!!# Triple A?"



4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through

rush hour traffic on Jefferson as a "Scenic Drive."



5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am.

The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday 's

rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are

open game.



6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you

will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When

you're first off the starting line, count to five when

the light turns green before going, to avoid getting

into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.



7. "Schoenherr" can ONLY be properly pronounced by a

native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for "Gratiot" too.



8. Construction and renovations on I-94, I-96,

I-75 and 275 is a way of life and a permanent form of

entertainment.



9. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are

simplified by the phrase, "I guess we're not in

Kansas anymore!"



10. If someone actually has their turn signal on,

it is probably a factory defect or they are

"out-of-towners."



11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink

Cadillac have total right-of-way.



12. The minimum acceptable speed on 696 is 85

regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is

considered downright SISSY.



13. The wrought iron on windows in Detroit is NOT

ornamental. DON'T get out of your car.



14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the

bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm

reloading."



15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70

in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they

are so friendly in Detroit.' I would suggest you duck.



16. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.



17. You must go a quarter of a mile out of your

way to make a left hand turn.
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#2 Old 10-18-2006, 04:08 PM
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Cute.



I'll bet the people going to Detroit for the World Series will find out all of that the hard way?

*this space not for sale*
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#3 Old 10-18-2006, 04:16 PM
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#1 and #7 are my favorites. I love #1 because I always mockingly call it "DEE-troit" (emphasis on the dee. )

#7 because It IS funny when people are like "Schoen..what? Shoon-hair? Gratty-ot?"

(It's Shaner and Gra****, by the way. )
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#4 Old 10-18-2006, 04:20 PM
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hahaha the filter censored the 2nd syllable. Maybe I should've typed it "Grash-it"
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#5 Old 10-18-2006, 04:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica Alana View Post

The "You know you live in California.." thread inspired me to dig this up out of my saved mail.

If you don't have a sense of humor, stop reading now.





For those of you who plan to visit Detroit, here

are few rules to follow and for the rest of us who are Detroiters will smile and shake our heads.




1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. .....................................











Yay!! Someone else around here actually wants to have fun!!



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#6 Old 10-18-2006, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica Alana View Post

#1 and #7 are my favorites. I love #1 because I always mockingly call it "DEE-troit" (emphasis on the dee. )

#7 because It IS funny when people are like "Schoen..what? Shoon-hair? Gratty-ot?"

(It's Shaner and Gra****, by the way. )



Are those the German pronunciations?



Cuz' that changes the way I say Schoenberg and Herzenfreude....





Along those same lines, there's a street named Goethe in Chicago (named after the German writer/philosopher/everything, Johann Wolfgang Goethe). Being a fairly educated chap, I pronounce it in the correct German, Gur-ta. But everyone around here says go-th. So I end up looking like the idiot.



Okay, back to Jess's topic.......
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#7 Old 10-18-2006, 04:33 PM
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Quote:
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Are those the German pronunciations?



Cuz' that changes the way I say Schoenberg and Herzenfreude....





Along those same lines, there's a street named Goethe in Chicago (named after the German writer/philosopher/everything, Johann Wolfgang Goethe). Being a fairly educated chap, I pronounce it in the correct German, Gur-ta. But everyone around here says go-th. So I end up looking like the idiot.



Okay, back to Jess's topic.......





Of course not. You'd THINK Schoenherr would be pronounced something more like "Schoon-air" (pretty man ) with a little german accent in there. But no! It's Shaner. That's why it's kinda tricky & only the locals/semi-locals know.



You didn't know Freud's real pronunciation is Frood?
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#8 Old 10-18-2006, 04:38 PM
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Oh, oh! I found the "You know you live in Michigan when.." list. *goes off to start another thread*
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#9 Old 10-18-2006, 05:06 PM
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Rules of detroit:





leave or get shot.
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#10 Old 10-18-2006, 08:36 PM
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Don't hate.





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#11 Old 10-18-2006, 08:57 PM
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My friends in Ann Arbor always say they are from Detroit so people will think they are bad ass.



Ann Arbor and Detroit are VERY different places! (to say the least)
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#12 Old 10-18-2006, 09:00 PM
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I've noticed the farther I move away from Detroit, the nicer everything gets lol.



From 20mins away to 1.5hours now!



yay.







It was always funny crossing the bridge to windsor - its like going from ashes to a golden city... well... not quite like that but
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#13 Old 10-18-2006, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texaspice View Post

My friends in Ann Arbor always say they are from Detroit so people will think they are bad ass.



Ann Arbor and Detroit are VERY different places! (to say the least)





Kind of like Eminem and his Dee-troit rep, when he's from Warren. Which is where my granny lives in a nice house in a nice neighborhood.



I'm not from Dee-troit, by the way. I'm from Fa-fa-fa-flinttown (REPRESENT! *snort*) But my mama grew up in Dee-troit and is a Dee-troit playa.
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#14 Old 10-18-2006, 09:03 PM
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Quote:
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Ann Arbor and Detroit are VERY different places!]





like entirely seperate worlds.
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#15 Old 10-18-2006, 09:08 PM
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Detroit and Philly sound like they have a lot in common, then...
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#16 Old 10-18-2006, 09:25 PM
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pshhhhhh philly... yeah if your name is Fresh Prince.





Detroit is #2 most dangerous city in america, right behind Camden, NJ.

http://www.morganquitno.com/cit06pop.htm#25





and scroll to the bottom, Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn is the "most dangerous METROPOLITAN AREA" in the US.
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#17 Old 10-18-2006, 09:37 PM
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Livonia?!
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#18 Old 10-18-2006, 09:43 PM
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yeah... im wondering why they stuck livonia in with detroit too...
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#19 Old 10-18-2006, 10:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by troub View Post

pshhhhhh philly... yeah if your name is Fresh Prince.





Detroit is #2 most dangerous city in america, right behind Camden, NJ.

http://www.morganquitno.com/cit06pop.htm#25





and scroll to the bottom, Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn is the "most dangerous METROPOLITAN AREA" in the US.





playground is where i spent most of my days... damn right...



dude, scratch statistics... Camden is like this | | close to Philly. A lot of that stuff leaks over the river, lol. They sound like they are more similar in the areas that talk about people just being as*holes and bad drivers, anyway... never been to DEEEEtroit to judge for myself.
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#20 Old 10-18-2006, 10:14 PM
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Dee-troit's so hardcore, even Tame moved out.



BOOYAH.
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#21 Old 10-18-2006, 10:19 PM
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ROFL



thats hilarious
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#22 Old 10-19-2006, 10:25 AM
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Quote:
7. "Schoenherr" can ONLY be properly pronounced by a

native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for "Gratiot" too.



You don't have to be a native. I lived there for four years, but my boyfriend was a native, so I guess I picked it up fast.
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#23 Old 10-19-2006, 10:27 AM
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I lived in Warren specifically. Every time I told someone I was from Washington, they would say, incredulously "why did you move here?"



Not just some of the time. Every time.
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#24 Old 10-19-2006, 10:43 AM
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I ask people why they never moved away from here.



I want to move to washington so bad...
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#25 Old 10-19-2006, 03:19 PM
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I hate when folks complain about where they live. Either change it, or suck it up.
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#26 Old 10-19-2006, 03:23 PM
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I hate when folks complain about where they live. Either change it, or suck it up.



Me too! That is why I moved out of Michigan as fast as I could.
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#27 Old 10-19-2006, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
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Me too! That is why I moved out of Michigan as fast as I could.



Different strokes for different folks. I don't mind it. I like being close to my parents and my dog. I've contemplated moving to Canada. I'll probably move somewhere else someday, but I'm fine where I'm at for now.
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