The Blatant Lies Thread - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 02-06-2005, 03:10 AM
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Ok things VB have gotten a little too serious, so this thread is a light hearted thread, where you can lie as much as you like. The sillier and the more blatant the lie, the better!



Oh and don't get personal
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#2 Old 02-06-2005, 03:11 AM
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Ill start:



After my trip to Jupiter with the Queen I was given an award for my heroic action of saving Superman, from a passing hailstorm. At the award party much havoc was had and Marilyn Monroe snogged Marilyn Manson. People danced the night away and then Elvis appeared in a puff of smoke and declared everyone should go veggie. The Queen got tipsy and seeing the King called the night short and went home with him. I grew terribly bored and hitched back to Jupiter with a passing easy rider. The world became veggie and Superman got a job in a local café, serving veggie burgers.
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#3 Old 02-06-2005, 04:42 AM
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If i say it enough maybe it will come true.
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#4 Old 02-06-2005, 12:08 PM
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I'm a republican.



That's the most blatant and silly lie I could conceive.



Sorry if that was too personal!
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#5 Old 02-06-2005, 12:18 PM
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..i didnt have to look in the dictionary to figure out the definition of blatant.
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#6 Old 02-06-2005, 12:19 PM
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I am really a llama. Seriously. Im not lying.



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#7 Old 02-06-2005, 12:36 PM
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Veg*n men turn me off.
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#8 Old 02-06-2005, 12:37 PM
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I'm really a very wealthy cat. I live in a mansion on a private island w/my own beach, not that I actually swim at the beach, I am, afterall, a cat. However I love the view from my mansion of the beautiful ocean & the sound of the crashing waves. I have a few cat friends here w/me & two human companions so I never get bored. In the evenings we watch the sun set & drink pina coladas. Last week we went on a trip to another galaxy where we met a most unique breed of cats or something similar to us. They look somewhat like us but they also have fins, though being cats, they never use them in water. None were nearly as beautiful as I. Our second day there they took us to a duck pond for a lunch picnic & were most surprised to learn that my friends & I had no intention of actually eating the ducks & in fact, we had brought little snacks for them. The other cats then decided that they shouldn't eat the ducks either because since there was so much non-animal food for them to eat there was really no reason for them to be killing other beings for food. They were so excited that we had taught them this most valuable lesson and decided to share it w/the other inhabitants of their galaxy. All of them loved the idea & were astonished that they had never thought of it on their own. Since that day no animal in that galaxy has ever eaten meat again. And that is how the galaxy of Watermellon became completely vegetarian!
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#9 Old 02-06-2005, 12:48 PM
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I just ate a (real) ham sandwhich for lunch.





:-O
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#10 Old 02-06-2005, 02:03 PM
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I didn't cash in thousands of pennies yesterday.



I'm watching the superbowl.



I didn't get purposely locked out of the house yesterday.
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#11 Old 02-06-2005, 03:24 PM
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#12 Old 02-06-2005, 03:42 PM
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i am so excited to sit with a bunch of drunken men eating pepperoni pizza and watching football which happenes to be my most fav thing to watch on tv. i really hope they save me a slice of pizza- meat lovers with extra cheese
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#13 Old 02-06-2005, 03:44 PM
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My mice don't get fed better than I do.
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#14 Old 02-06-2005, 03:47 PM
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I don't watch the disney channel
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#15 Old 02-06-2005, 03:57 PM
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I woke up this morning wishing it was Monday so I could be at work busting my behind and experiencing the delicious fragrance of cheesy pepperoni pizza wafting into my office from the lunch room next door.

*this space not for sale*
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#16 Old 02-06-2005, 04:12 PM
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I love Valentine's Day
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#17 Old 02-06-2005, 04:25 PM
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I don't think that 88% of the women on VB are intelligent, gorgeous, funny and no way in the world do I ever fantasize about meeting any of them in a restaurant to talk the night away.

My Blog: beforewisdom.com
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#18 Old 02-06-2005, 04:34 PM
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I really hate school. I hate learning. I also love people who like to criticize others who are different from them.
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#19 Old 02-06-2005, 05:56 PM
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I hate school too...especially literature classes.
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#20 Old 02-06-2005, 06:30 PM
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i hate seadolphin, shagginabit and the other posters in this thread. i feel that i should say that as i AM the administrator (or whatever that coveted title is) of this board--not that phoney baloney m*****l.

and i never enjoy this board. HHMPH!!!!!!!!!!!
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#21 Old 02-06-2005, 06:53 PM
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I never procrastinate.



I'll post the rest of my lies later.







The Rev
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#22 Old 02-06-2005, 07:08 PM
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After the meetup, I've come to the realization that all you people suck.



So I'm leaving.



No really.



goodbye.



I hate you all.
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#23 Old 02-06-2005, 07:13 PM
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I understand women
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#24 Old 02-06-2005, 07:27 PM
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I will be wearing a silky black gown with a train, edged with diamonds to the Oscar Presentations. Leo and I will be presenting the Oscar for Best Picture. The best news is the gown is a size 5 and it fits.
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#25 Old 02-06-2005, 07:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelOfDance View Post


I hate you all .



This is true. Angel often sends me vile and hateful e-mail peppered with asterisks where she tells me what a hellhole VB is and how she despises the lot of us. She scares me. She makes me cry.



"She" is really an omni, actually.

A 46 year-old bearded republican omni farmer named Brad.



Her favourite food is butter.

She eats it with a spoon
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#26 Old 02-06-2005, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beforewisdom View Post

I don't think that 88% of the women on VB are intelligent, gorgeous, funny and no way in the world do I ever fantasize about meeting any of them in a restaurant to talk the night away.





I don't secretly want to marry steve.







I don't think Steve is trying to get a date.



I don't like my job and am thinking of going into the porn industry.
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#27 Old 02-06-2005, 07:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life2k View Post

I will be wearing a silky black gown with a train, edged with diamonds to the Oscar Presentations. Leo and I will be presenting the Oscar for Best Picture. The best news is the gown is a size 5 and it fits.



*lol*
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#28 Old 02-06-2005, 07:36 PM
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I dont have a crush on an 18 year old drummer and I am sooo glad its against the law.







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#29 Old 02-06-2005, 07:36 PM
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#30 Old 02-06-2005, 11:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life2k View Post

I will be wearing a silky black gown with a train, edged with diamonds to the Oscar Presentations. Leo and I will be presenting the Oscar for Best Picture. The best news is the gown is a size 5 and it fits.



I will be Life2k's escort for the evening. I will be easily recognizable, as I will be wearing a green velvet tux, with coordinating green veg*n lace-up shoes. I will also be financially backing all the bling that Life and I will be sporting, including my $10,000 diamond earrings and Life's to-die-for diamond and gemstone necklace.

I got the money from my very successful veg*n restaurant chain here in Oklahoma, which put Golden Corral, Western Sizzlin' and all other steakhouses out of business.



We will be proceeded by our troupe of trained rhesus monkeys (veg*ns too) who will preceed our arrival by doing a version of the classic "who's on first" skit.....in Mandarin Chinese. They are a smart bunch of primates.



Afterparty is at Jackrabbit Slim's.



Oh, and I also persuaded the FCC to make TV commercials illegal. (Superbowl ones not withstanding).
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