The Blatant Lies Thread - Page 2 - VeggieBoards
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#31 Old 02-07-2005, 01:00 AM
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today was a really awesome day!! i really cant wait for tomorrow!! im going to finally do the dishes tomorrow too. ill probably go to all my classes, and then go to the rec center and work out.
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#32 Old 02-07-2005, 06:16 AM
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LOL brandon, that was funny.



B
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#33 Old 02-07-2005, 09:00 AM
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kpickell is noisy. I mean he is obnoxiously loud and abrasive. It's gonna take a week or so just for my eardrums to heal after being around that guy.



And Jinga...whew! Silly, frivolous, inane and she chatters like a squirrel. And you should see how she dresses! That leather (!) mini-skirt...uh, more like a BELT, people. I saw her UNDIES!



Micheal is just MEAN. Every time one of us wasn't looking, he poked us with forks, or pinched us real hard. And Michael, the kicking has to stop. My shins are still bleeding.



Wolfie hates dogs. All dogs. She told us that they are really only good for blaming farts on and cleaning up spilled food. She is also really loud, has scary eyes and bites people when they say the word "falafel".



NDvegan is antisocial and lazy. What's up wth that chick?



IamJen is a meanie too, just like Micheal. And she hates babies, except for dinner.



Mouse and Budda have secretly been married to each other for 35 years. They put something in that tofu scramble and when jinga's mom came to pick her up, we were all running around naked and hanging from light fixtures and ceiling fans but we don't remember anything about it. Mouse is shy and spent most of her time in a corner, wringing her hands, and taking notes. Budda is a little odd. He spent most of his time in the shower, keeping track of how many people look behind the shower curtain before they use the toilet.



AngelofDance is really a 52 year old car insurance salesman with a Hitler mustache. The girl in the pictures is really one of his mail-order brides. He has a nervous habit of back-handing the person sittin to his right when he hears a loud noise. Nobody else ever heard the noises but there were plenty of blackened eyes and split lips this weekend courtesy of AOD, I'll tell ya'. I was a little scared of him.



Carnelian really has thin, greasy orange hair and is wearing a wig in the pictures you see of her. She brought her 7 rag-a-muffin children with her to St. Louis and they only would eat fish sandwiches from mcdonald's. When a couple of them got lost in the butterfly house she said "Don't worry about it. They aren't mine anyway. Easy come, easy go." That woman is a strange one.



Jingas dogs were the worst though. I still have blood spurting out of my neck and I have to get off of here and go to the hospital now.



I hope I am not forgetting anyone. It was an awful weekend and they all deserved what they got.
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#34 Old 02-07-2005, 09:08 AM
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I don't wish that I had been there with y'all...
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#35 Old 02-07-2005, 09:54 AM
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i trained my cat
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#36 Old 02-07-2005, 09:57 AM
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See. See! I told you!



This is Michael kicking NDvegan while she is already down.
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#37 Old 02-07-2005, 11:18 AM
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I live in a heated garage. I spend all my cardboard sign begging money at a couple taverns downtown. I sit real close to guys missing major teeth because they turn me on and buy me drinks.



As soon as a draw eight consecutive sober breaths I'm going to start writing an autobiography about my years selling trinkets at rodeos. I'm going to sprinkle the book with characteres baed on VBers. I'm doing research right now.
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#38 Old 02-07-2005, 11:27 AM
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I had a Big Mac for breakfast today. It was sooo good. The special dressing just slopped all over the place. I'm such a slob. I washed it down with a huge ice cold glass of milk. I finished my breakfast with a King sized Snickers bar. The sugar rush gave me a nice, warm feeling. I threw out my fruit, cause with all those large Snickers bars I eat, who needs fruit?

*this space not for sale*
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#39 Old 02-07-2005, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathOfDecadenc View Post

i am so excited to sit with a bunch of drunken men eating pepperoni pizza and watching football which happenes to be my most fav thing to watch on tv. i really hope they save me a slice of pizza- meat lovers with extra cheese



I thought this was very unfunny and I hated it!
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#40 Old 02-07-2005, 11:44 AM
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You're all a useless bunch of liars!
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#41 Old 02-07-2005, 12:30 PM
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Everything Renaissancesun said is the absolute, unvarnished truth, but she forgot to mention that she was snarky to everyone all weekend; she tried to eat Cecil; she flies off the handle whenever she hears the word "tofu" and throws herself to the floor kicking and screaming; AND the neighbors called the police three times because she kept sneaking up to their windows and mooning them.
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#42 Old 02-07-2005, 01:18 PM
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Oops! I did it again!
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#43 Old 02-07-2005, 01:22 PM
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I am a man.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
 Marilyn Monroe
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#44 Old 02-07-2005, 01:24 PM
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See?! She just can't stop herself!!! There's going to be an article featuring her in the American Journal of Psychiatry. They're naming it Sunny Mooning Syndrome, and are hoping to be able to treat with pharmaceuticals, but I fear that physical restraints will be necessary.
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#45 Old 02-07-2005, 01:27 PM
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I wish vegetarians and especially vegans would shut up and go away. Because as everybody knows, if we didn't kill and eat cows and chickens they would overpopulate the earth. And those cows have a great life anyway, and chickens don't feel pain so they don't mind when their legs break from their size.



And besides, it's obvious we're supposed to eat meat, because of our razor sharp teeth, and they taste good, so that must mean it's right.



Beef is way better for you than a stupid salad anyday.



I'm going to go eat some beef jerky now, and maybe go drive around town for no good reason in my huge gas guzzling, leather-lined SUV. If I'm lucky, I'll find some squirrels or cats to run over!



(Bleh!)
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#46 Old 02-07-2005, 07:00 PM
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My class clown/monster student was a little angel today.
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#47 Old 02-07-2005, 07:05 PM
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i woke up for my 8:00 class today!
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#48 Old 02-07-2005, 10:34 PM
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Brandon, no lie, just fact. I love you, boy.
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#49 Old 02-07-2005, 10:36 PM
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I am just a normal. regular everyday guy. And I watch lots of sports and have built up a high tolerance for alcohol with all the beer I drink. That's what this belly is from: all that beer. I don't really care for sweets much. I only eat things that are good for me.
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#50 Old 02-07-2005, 10:38 PM
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Brandon, no lie, just fact. I love you, boy.



Awww.......shucks.
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#51 Old 02-07-2005, 10:40 PM
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I did not get a beautiful new 2001 Tracker,4 door, 4 wheel drive,fully loaded car today.

It does not have a 4 cylinder engine~which is much better for the enviroment than a larger engine.



Anyway,that lovely car is not in my driveway right now!!
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#52 Old 02-08-2005, 12:00 AM
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I won the lottery today!!!!! It was a jackpot of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!!!

I spent it all in Utopia. I took a first class trip in my new teleport machine. I bought evrything I saw, including the entire "best clothes ever" collection. Then I teleported to a new world that I named "welcome", and invited all the nice people from planet earth, to come and live a peaceful life (and invited all the animals of course). No corporations or machines of any kind allowed . I split the rest of my money with everyone from "welcome" .

and Im NOT inviting any of you to come along......

ps- I HATE olives with a passion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#53 Old 02-08-2005, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Katkalilla View Post

I won the lottery today!!!!! It was a jackpot of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!!!

I spent it all in Utopia. I took a first class trip in my new teleport machine. I bought evrything I saw, including the entire "best clothes ever" collection. Then I teleported to a new world that I named "welcome", and invited all the nice people from planet earth, to come and live a peaceful life (and invited all the animals of course). No corporations or machines of any kind allowed . I split the rest of my money with everyone from "welcome" .

and Im NOT inviting any of you to come along......

ps- I HATE olives with a passion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Does that mean we're not nice!

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#54 Old 02-08-2005, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by bumble View Post

I did not get a beautiful new 2001 Tracker,4 door, 4 wheel drive,fully loaded car today.

It does not have a 4 cylinder engine~which is much better for the enviroment than a larger engine.



Anyway,that lovely car is not in my driveway right now!!



Wow! What a coincidence, I didn't buy a brand new car either! And mine didn't come with a 4 cylinder engine either! I didn't check the emissions standards or the mileage ratings because I just don't care about that stuff.



What color isn't yours? Mine isn't brilliant blue at all.
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#55 Old 02-08-2005, 10:24 AM
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I have a ton of real life friends that call my phone all the time to take me out.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
 Marilyn Monroe
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#56 Old 02-08-2005, 10:52 AM
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Wow! What a coincidence, I didn't buy a brand new car either! And mine didn't come with a 4 cylinder engine either! I didn't check the emissions standards or the mileage ratings because I just don't care about that stuff.



What color isn't yours? Mine isn't brilliant blue at all.



wow! how un-cool that we both did not get cool new 4 cylinder engine groove-machines!

I do not have a beautiful black small,SUV,that can fit my snow-boards and dog!!



What a big huge bummer for us!! hahahhaha
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#57 Old 02-08-2005, 10:59 AM
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Marc Anthony is my boyfriend.

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#58 Old 02-08-2005, 12:16 PM
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I hate cats.

Filthy creatures.
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#59 Old 02-08-2005, 12:24 PM
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I'm hard at work today and every day. I am such a dedicated employee. I never screw around on the web when I should be working.
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#60 Old 02-08-2005, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bumble View Post

wow! how un-cool that we both did not get cool new 4 cylinder engine groove-machines!

I do not have a beautiful black small,SUV,that can fit my snow-boards and dog!!



What a big huge bummer for us!! hahahhaha



Oh, that sounds awful! How unlucky you are!!



I didn't get the lift-back model, so I can't fit my dogs and camping gear either.



And I really, really enjoyed the accident that made the new car unecessary! My neck feels GREAT, I am totally unconcerned about it. In fact, I'm not going to go take another gigantic ibuprofen right now.
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