You are in a long, narrow room - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 01-16-2012, 08:36 PM
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You are in a long narrow room with bare wooden walls and ceiling and a packed dirt floor. A dull orange glow from a brazier in the center of the room provides dim illumination. The room is about 60 feet long on the north-south axis, about 15 feet wide on the east-west axis, and 10 feet tall. Narrow bunk beds lie on either side of the central hallway. People in striped uniforms lie apathetically in their bunks, in varying states of emaciation. The locked door to the overseer's quarters is at the north end, while the exit to the rest of the camp is at the south end.

On a bunk in the northeast, a middle aged woman with pale, a freckled face and red-and-white flecked hair sits in her bunk, apparently reading something. She appears relatively healthy, but she seems to have a canny, resourceful air about her that indicates that she is not just a new arrival on whom the camp has yet to take its toll, like you.

Exits are SOUTH.
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#2 Old 01-16-2012, 08:41 PM
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This scenario doesn't sound fun at all!

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

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#3 Old 01-16-2012, 09:35 PM
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As is only natural, you lie in your bunk, bemoaning your cruel fate. However, though this place may seem as though it destined to be the end of your journeys, some part of you hopes that it could be a new beginning -- provided that you stop bemoaning your fate and change it instead.
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#4 Old 01-16-2012, 09:54 PM
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Alright, I'll play your sick game! I get what you want me to do, and I'm not going to do that. instead, I'm going to wait until she's asleep, and then I'm going to steal her book, and trade it to Jimmy three bunks over for some smokes. How do you like them ostriches!?

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

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#5 Old 01-16-2012, 09:55 PM
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I kill myself with my shoelaces
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#6 Old 01-16-2012, 10:13 PM
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I just hope this place provides vegan food.

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#7 Old 01-16-2012, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowcone View Post

Alright, I'll play your sick game! I get what you want me to do, and I'm not going to do that. instead, I'm going to wait until she's asleep, and then I'm going to steal her book, and trade it to Jimmy three bunks over for some smokes. How do you like them ostriches!?

After the woman has fallen asleep, you sneak over to her bunk. She sleeps with the book on her stomach, her hands on the book. She is not gripping the book tightly, and with sufficient speed, you could probably snatch it from her without resistance -- at least initially -- but it is unlikely that you could do so without waking her up. Do you steal the book anyway, or do you attempt some other stratagem?

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I kill myself with my shoelaces

You attempt to hang yourself from your shoelaces, but the shoelaces snap under your weight before they can kill you. The woman tells you "If you want to die, just go out and try to escape, and the guards will turn you into a pincushion full of arrows. If you'd just give me your shoes the like before getting yourself killed, I'd appreciate it."
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#8 Old 01-16-2012, 10:24 PM
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I just hope this place provides vegan food.

Didn't you read the part about being emaciated? The omnis obviously rounded us all up and sent us to brainwashing camps at the behest of the meat, egg, and dairy industry.

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After the woman has fallen asleep, you sneak over to her bunk. She sleeps with the book on her stomach, her hands on the book. She is not gripping the book tightly, and with sufficient speed, you could probably snatch it from her without resistance -- at least initially -- but it is unlikely that you could do so without waking her up. Do you steal the book anyway, or do you attempt some other stratagem?"

What's my charisma stat lookin' like? Is it high enough to seduce her and then sneak the book afterwards? 'cuz that's what I'm gonna do.

Hell, now that I think about it, if it's low, I wanna re-roll. I always want high dexterity and charisma.
Tom likes this.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#9 Old 01-16-2012, 10:30 PM
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You attempt to hang yourself from your shoelaces, but the shoelaces snap under your weight before they can kill you. The woman tells you "If you want to die, just go out and try to escape, and the guards will turn you into a pincushion full of arrows. If you'd just give me your shoes the like before getting yourself killed, I'd appreciate it."

No, I don't hang myself, I strangle myself. With rainbow shoelaces.
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#10 Old 01-16-2012, 10:36 PM
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Is there a pole in the room?
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#11 Old 01-16-2012, 10:38 PM
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Is there a pole in the room?

A stripper pole
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#12 Old 01-16-2012, 10:42 PM
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A stripper pole

That is what I was asking, yes.
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#13 Old 01-16-2012, 10:42 PM
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well, if someone starts a tunnel, I'll make false ID papers.

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#14 Old 01-16-2012, 10:49 PM
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I just hope this place provides vegan food.

It's mostly cheap grains and vegetables. The broth is made of the recycled remains of your fellow prisoners, but broth doesn't count, does it? Also, there are sometimes bits of their flesh in there, but you can pick those out, right?

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What's my charisma stat lookin' like? Is it high enough to seduce her and then sneak the book afterwards? 'cuz that's what I'm gonna do.

Hell, now that I think about it, if it's low, I wanna re-roll. I always want high dexterity and charisma.

I don't know if this will matter, but you can distribute 25 points among Endurance, Perception, Intelligence, Charisma, Strength, Agility, and Willpower. 1 is poor. 3 is average. 5 is excellent.

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No, I don't hang myself, I strangle myself. With rainbow shoelaces.

When you attempt to do so, you lose strength and concentration as you get closer to unconsciousness, which causes you to loosen your grip, which allows you to breath again. You leave a ring of bruising around your neck.
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#15 Old 01-16-2012, 10:53 PM
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#16 Old 01-16-2012, 10:57 PM
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Is there a pole in the room?

There are four poles for each bunk bed. However, since they are all attached to beds, pole dancing on them would be awkward.
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#17 Old 01-16-2012, 11:00 PM
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Are we in a Nazi concentration camp?
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#18 Old 01-16-2012, 11:01 PM
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I don't know if this will matter, but you can distribute 25 points among Endurance, Perception, Intelligence, Charisma, Strength, Agility, and Willpower. 1 is poor. 3 is average. 5 is excellent. [/QUOTE]

END 5, PER 3, INT 1, CHR 5, STR 4, AGL 5, WLP 2. INT is always the dump stat anyhows.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#19 Old 01-16-2012, 11:11 PM
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I think we're all in Auschwitz.

*this space not for sale*
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#20 Old 01-16-2012, 11:38 PM
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The middle aged woman obviously knows the secrets of the camp. I go over and sit on her bunk, waiting to see what she is willing to share.

The woman glares at you.

"You're new here, so I'm not going to judge you for not knowing every nuance of camp protocol, but I would think it would be common sense that you don't sit on a stranger's bed before you even tell her your name, or ask for her leave."

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Are we in a Nazi concentration camp?

No.

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END 5, PER 3, INT 1, CHR 5, STR 4, AGL 5, WLP 2. INT is always the dump stat anyhows.

What's my charisma stat lookin' like? Is it high enough to seduce her and then sneak the book afterwards? 'cuz that's what I'm gonna do.

After discovering that your attempt to steal the book while she sleeps might encounter some complications, you sleep until the morning. Both you and the woman are awake. You walk up the the woman and start flirting. She seems to be receptive to your advances, and has left the book at her side, no longer in contact with her body.

"You could do quite well in this camp," she says, "with a nice body like yours. You'll need my connections. If you give me 50% of the proceeds, I can hook you up with some lonely guards and high-ranking inmates. Of course, you'll do a lot better if you're willing to sleep with men as well as women. You'll need to prove that you're more than a pretty face, so I'd like hear a bit of your story, make sure you can be trusted not to steal from customers, and maybe you could squeeze in a quickie with me before our work details begins, just to make sure you're good at it." She grins, with an unnerving casualness that makes it seem as if her proposal to pimp you out as a prostitute were a request to pass the salt.
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#21 Old 01-16-2012, 11:47 PM
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#22 Old 01-16-2012, 11:52 PM
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"You could do quite well in this camp," she says, "with a nice body like yours. You'll need my connections. If you give me 50% of the proceeds, I can hook you up with some lonely guards and high-ranking inmates. Of course, you'll do a lot better if you're willing to sleep with men as well as women. You'll need to prove that you're more than a pretty face, so I'd like hear a bit of your story, make sure you can be trusted not to steal from customers, and maybe you could squeeze in a quickie with me before our work details begins, just to make sure you're good at it." She grins, with an unnerving casualness that makes it seem as if her proposal to pimp you out as a prostitute were a request to pass the salt.

I tell her she gets 51-65% and tells me what the catch is, or I walk, because I don't trust a fair pimp. Oh, and I'm not doing Jimmy's connection; he's got bad breath and rotten teeth.

I also silently vow to steal that book ASAP. I'm getting the shakes without my smokes and I already told Jimmy I'd hook him up with some clean wiping material.

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Hmmm....what a dilemma. Do I see what's to the South or do I stay and watch Snowcone make out with the old lady?


I'll have you know that ginger women are gorgeous. Also, foxes have red hair with a bit of white, so she's totally a foxy woman.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#23 Old 01-17-2012, 12:58 AM
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I tell her she gets 51-65% and tells me what the catch is, or I walk, because I don't trust a fair pimp. Oh, and I'm not doing Jimmy's connection; he's got bad breath and rotten teeth.

"Agreed," the woman says, noticing that you are not the brightest torch in the sconce. "I take 65%, and the catch is that I let you negotiate yourself out of 30% of your earnings."
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#24 Old 01-17-2012, 01:18 AM
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Brightest torch in the sconce, LOL!
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#25 Old 01-17-2012, 02:02 AM
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this reminds me of the days(or nights rather) that I used to watched Prisoner Cell Block H.

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#26 Old 01-17-2012, 06:03 PM
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"Agreed," the woman says, noticing that you are not the brightest torch in the sconce. "I take 65%, and the catch is that I let you negotiate yourself out of 30% of your earnings."


"That's a stupid catch," I say. "In fact, you're a stupid catch. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that if you weren't so damn foxy I'd sell you out to assistant disciplinary clerk Puritanus right now. By the way, isn't that a stupid name? HE probably made it up like he did his title. He's totally faking the accent too, I'll bet."

At this point, the only plans going through my head at the moment involve immediately attempting to snatch her book out of her hands and throw it to the J-man, subconsciously wanting for it to hit him in the face instead of him catching it.

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#27 Old 01-17-2012, 07:30 PM
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When you attempt to do so, you lose strength and concentration as you get closer to unconsciousness, which causes you to loosen your grip, which allows you to breath again. You leave a ring of bruising around your neck.

Is there any way I can kill myself, then?
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#28 Old 01-18-2012, 01:09 AM
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Is there any way I can kill myself, then?

Sure. I'm not sure why you'd think suicide is impossible just because you can't use rainbow-colored shoelaces to strangle yourself with your own hands.

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"That's a stupid catch," I say. "In fact, you're a stupid catch. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that if you weren't so damn foxy I'd sell you out to assistant disciplinary clerk Puritanus right now. By the way, isn't that a stupid name? HE probably made it up like he did his title. He's totally faking the accent too, I'll bet."

She scowls: "Well, I guess now you'll never find out his real name when he whispers it to you after a night of passion. Oh well. Maybe next week's batch of fresh meat will have someone more capable of understanding what an opportunity I'm offering here."

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At this point, the only plans going through my head at the moment involve immediately attempting to snatch her book out of her hands and throw it to the J-man, subconsciously wanting for it to hit him in the face instead of him catching it.

Okay. The book is still lying on her bunk, at her side, and she isn't holding onto it. Do you snatch it, or do you just think about it?

Incidentally, within a few minutes, the work overseers will come to send everyone out to their labor sites.
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#29 Old 01-18-2012, 05:19 PM
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She scowls: "Well, I guess now you'll never find out his real name when he whispers it to you after a night of passion. Oh well. Maybe next week's batch of fresh meat will have someone more capable of understanding what an opportunity I'm offering here."



Okay. The book is still lying on her bunk, at her side, and she isn't holding onto it. Do you snatch it, or do you just think about it?

Incidentally, within a few minutes, the work overseers will come to send everyone out to their labor sites.

Damn straight. However, as a distraction, I let her know that her next door bunk neighbor licked her ear while she was asleep last night. Creepy chap. Then I go for it. Labor be damned! This might be my only chance!

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#30 Old 01-18-2012, 09:16 PM
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You grab the book, which turns out to be Volume 2 of The Decline and Fall of the Pastichean Ecumene, by Yetunde Ladiwe.

As you run off, the woman follows you at a leisurely walk, sighing.

"I'm glad you didn't agree to the whoring. Rentboys who steal from their customers are bad for my business, you know," she says quietly, "If you give me that book back right now, I'll pretend nothing happened. On the other hand, if you try to hold onto it, I will proclaim to everyone in this dormitory that you are a thief, which is readily substantiated by the fact that I am the only one in this dormitory -- and possibly this whole camp -- with that book, and everyone here has seen me reading it. If you are considered a thief, everyone here will consider it their right to steal from you, including your rations. Is that what you want, pretty boy?"
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