Worst lines for a first date: - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-04-2011, 07:26 PM
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What do you think are the worst lines for a first date?

1. "The fact that you ever had any interest in me seems to be prima facie evidence of flawed judgment on your part."

2. "Really, doesn't almost everyone have oral herpes?"

3. "I tried to prepare for this date by finding out all about you with Google and stuff, to find out what you like, where you live, and all that, but I couldn't find as much as I hoped. I guess you must spend a lot less time online than I do."

4f. to female date: "You're almost as beautiful and sensual as Sarah Palin."

4m. to male date: "You're almost as handsome and virile as Charlie Sheen."

5. "I sort of wish that I had been born in the Victorian Era, so that we all wouldn't have to maintain this ridiculous pretense of actually enjoying sex."
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#2 Old 03-04-2011, 07:53 PM
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Wow, those are horrific!

Number 2 and number 5 are my favourites.

"If we could live happy and healthy lives without harming others... why wouldn't we?" - Edgars Mission
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#3 Old 03-04-2011, 07:58 PM
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Hahah!
The worst thing a guy has ever said to me, (in a HORRIBLE attempt to pick me up):

"Don't worry, I like girls with a little extra meat on their bones. In fact, I think I might even have a bit of a fat fetish."

*Chokes on beer*

I found a fake reason to leave within about 5 minutes of that comment.
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#4 Old 03-04-2011, 08:36 PM
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One of the more memorable "pick up" lines I can remember from years ago was while out dancing with a bunch of girlfriends a guy grabbed fistfuls of my hair, pulled me up against him and said, "I want to have sex with your hair". I responded, "Well, my hair doesn't want to have sex with you so let it go"... Yuck...
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#5 Old 03-04-2011, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desert-dweller View Post

One of the more memorable "pick up" lines I can remember from years ago was while out dancing with a bunch of girlfriends a guy grabbed fistfuls of my hair, pulled me up against him and said, "I want to have sex with your hair". I responded, "Well, my hair doesn't want to have sex with you so let it go"... Yuck...

hahaha! wow!

You call me sweet like I'm some kinda of cheese....vegan cheese 0.0
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#6 Old 03-04-2011, 10:16 PM
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I have miraculously avoided all of these, but these would be pretty bad.

1. I have reservations at Texas Roadhouse. (A. I'm a vegetarian, B. Texas Roadhouse fails miserably at accommodating me, and C. the Texas Roadhouses around here don't take reservations.)

2. We're going to skip all this talking bull**** and just **** in the backseat. No, you don't have a choice.

3. You're OK looking, but it's alright. Nothing a little plastic surgery wouldn't fix.

4. Oh, my parents are taking us out to eat. I don't do anything without their say-so.

5. I understand women perfectly well. Now get on your knees, *****.

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1001...one to change the bulb, 1000 to say it's already been done.
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#7 Old 03-05-2011, 12:21 AM
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1. After this, want to go back to my place? We just have to keep it down so we don't wake my parents. (The older he is, the worse it is)

2. Can we hurry this up? I have 2 dates lined up after this.

3. Do you have sex on a first date? I do.

4. You look a lot bigger in person, did the camera take off 20 pounds?
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#8 Old 03-05-2011, 12:22 AM
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And a few good ones from a website.

Quote:
The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Say on a First Date

10) That was your sister? She has really big ta-ta's for a 14 year old.

7) I'm so glad you agreed to go out with me. I just started using Viagra and I've been wanting to see how well it works...

6) I asked you out because you look so much like my last girlfriend. I still think about her all the time and being with you is almost as good as being with her.

5) I'm glad we're going out. I got 8 kids at home that need a new mama.

4) Man your friend looked incredible! Can I have her number just in case things don't work out tonight?

2) When you date as many prostitutes, strippers, and junkies as I do it's nice to finally be going out with a classy woman like you!

1) That Big Mac and fries cost $5.24. That means when we go to my place later you owe me $5.24 worth of poontang.

http://www.rightwingnews.com/humor/firstdate.php

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#9 Old 03-05-2011, 01:01 PM
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#10 Old 03-05-2011, 02:19 PM
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#11 Old 03-05-2011, 03:37 PM
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"Nice shoes...wanna ****?"
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#12 Old 03-05-2011, 03:40 PM
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When i did some work for universal music Me: "do you like drake?" Guy I was trying to give drake merch to: "no but I like you"

Guy: "wanna get out of here?" Me: "sorry I have a boy friend" Guy: "thats ok I have a gf" Me: "then go sleep with her tonight"

☮ ♥ (: Ⓥ
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#13 Old 03-05-2011, 07:29 PM
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Atame.
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#14 Old 03-05-2011, 07:46 PM
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For the sheer idiocy factor, I applaud the guy who tried to pick me up the following way:

Stopping in the middle of a drive-thru, directly in front of me.
Getting out of his car, thus inciting the anger of everyone else waiting in line.
Coming to my window and asking me to come to his place. (I politely refused, so he decided to step up his game by...)
Putting on a brave-but-troubled face and saying, "I'm in the Navy and I'm shipping out tomorrow. This is my last night home. I want to spend it with you."

*slow clap*
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#15 Old 03-05-2011, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Semicharmed View Post

For the sheer idiocy factor, I applaud the guy who tried to pick me up the following way:

Stopping in the middle of a drive-thru, directly in front of me.
Getting out of his car, thus inciting the anger of everyone else waiting in line.
Coming to my window and asking me to come to his place. (I politely refused, so he decided to step up his game by...)
Putting on a brave-but-troubled face and saying, "I'm in the Navy and I'm shipping out tomorrow. This is my last night home. I want to spend it with you."

*slow clap*

That's a good one...
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#16 Old 03-06-2011, 07:31 PM
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"Hi, I just got out of prison last week and I'm dying to get into a relationship again. You know you look just my cellmate?"

"I'd like to take you someplace special. I have Justin Bieber tickets!"

"Now would be a great time for us to get to know each other, while my mother is away in prison."

*this space not for sale*
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#17 Old 03-06-2011, 07:35 PM
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"Are you sure I did not see you somewhere before?... The methadone clinic maybe."

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
 Marilyn Monroe
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#18 Old 03-06-2011, 10:19 PM
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You remind me of my grandmother.

You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?

Yeah, so when I was in college I lived with my parents and didn't work at all, not even in the summer. Why? Because I didn't want to, that's why.

Oh really, you're a vegetarian? My whole family is vegetarian except me. I decided that I didn't like it.

It's not in what you say, it's in what you do (Oasis)

Feeling bored? Why don't you wander over to my blog sometime. http://thebohemiankitchen.wordpress.com
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#19 Old 03-06-2011, 10:23 PM
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"Mind if I rub one out?"
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#20 Old 03-07-2011, 01:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AspireToInspire View Post

"Mind if I rub one out?"

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#21 Old 03-07-2011, 06:33 AM
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Not a date exactly but:

Him: so you up for it then?

Me: er...no you're alright thanks

Him: Aw but I've got 2 condoms!

Me: yeah, still no

Him: eh, probably too big for you anyway
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#22 Old 03-07-2011, 10:42 AM
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"I want you to have my children. I will not take no for an answer"

"A-yup. Ya wasted yer life, son"

- Old Man
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#23 Old 03-07-2011, 10:59 AM
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"You have nice earlobes. They look like they'd be nice to nibble on."

"I am a woman of science. At least that's what my horoscope said."
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#24 Old 03-07-2011, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Chrysalis View Post

You remind me of my grandmother.

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#25 Old 03-07-2011, 11:41 AM
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When I was in a really, really skeezy club in England:

Him: Are you American?
Me: No, Canadian.
Him: Wow! You're Canadian! And you've got big boobies!

I totally slept with him.*

*untrue
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#26 Old 03-07-2011, 01:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spoonerism View Post

"You have nice earlobes. They look like they'd be nice to nibble on."

I wouldn't mind if someone used that line.

"and I stand

upon a mountain

made of weak and useless men"

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#27 Old 03-07-2011, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
I wouldn't mind if someone used that line.

Well, it wasn't a date so maybe I shouldn't have posted. Some guy just randomly walked up to me in a store and said it.

"I am a woman of science. At least that's what my horoscope said."
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#28 Old 03-07-2011, 02:15 PM
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We have to be careful if my parole officer knows I am out past 10 I go back to jail.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
 Marilyn Monroe
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#29 Old 03-07-2011, 02:47 PM
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*imagine if you can; being trapped on a bus in a storm, after desperately trying to make you look at pictures on his cell phone of him stripping*

"You are really nice. Can I have a hug? Come on, I am having a bad month. My mom is sick and I miss home already. A hug would make me feel better... you're making me feel bad. Why won't you look at my pictures? I didn't really have no room back there, I just wanted someone to talk to and I saw you were so pretty and looked so nice..."

This went on for hours.
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#30 Old 03-07-2011, 03:18 PM
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Not on a date, just a guy I met at a party years ago:

Him: "I have a tattoo."
Me: "Oh. Ok."
Him: "Aren't you going to ask me where?"
Me: "Fine, where?"
Him: "You'll have to search me to find out."


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