i need some help.[moms and veggies] - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 05-04-2007, 05:59 PM
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ok so like iv been a vegetarian on and off since the begining of 07 and my mom ruins it everytime. ya see when i first became a veggie i lost like alot of weight during the first few weeks and my mom flipped out[she didnt want me to be one] she thought i had an eating disorder or somthing. so she made me start eating chicken. and now she thinks that i want to be a vegetarian just to rebel against her and be different and she says i cant make that choice until im grown because its a life dissicion[i cant spell]. i kno its a big step. but i really want to do this.

so. i was wondering if anybody could help me by giving my some ideas of what to say to her that might work. shes hard headed so i need some good stuff thats really convincing.

please please help.

thanks.
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#2 Old 05-04-2007, 06:26 PM
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Well, the first thing we need to know is are you eating a healthy well-balanced diet? If you're filling up on cheese pizza or rice cakes that's not a good thing and your mom has every right to be concerned.

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#3 Old 05-04-2007, 06:55 PM
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yes my diet is well balanced. i studied up on vegetarian nutrition and dieting for like a month before even attempting to become one.
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#4 Old 05-04-2007, 09:24 PM
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what made you lose enough weight that would cause a concern, then? have you tried having a talk with your mother, giving her adequate facts and maybe pointing her towards some credible sources?



you can't convince her - you have to show her. if she is 'hard headed' she is going to need proof. try showing her a book or reliable internet source, or two.
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#5 Old 05-05-2007, 05:51 AM
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Originally Posted by ohmydino View Post

yes my diet is well balanced. i studied up on vegetarian nutrition and dieting for like a month before even attempting to become one.



If you were eating a well balanced diet you would not be losing weight. You should be eating the same amount of calories etc... as you were on an omni diet. Maybe you should see if you could make an appointment with a nutritionist who could help you plan your diet, and your mother would feel more comfortable knowing that your diet will be balanced.

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#6 Old 05-05-2007, 12:04 PM
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If you studied up on vegetarian nutrition before hand, then have you tried showing her what you studied? As others have said, the fact that you lost a lot of weight means that she does have a valid reason for concern. Maybe you were eating healthy foods, but just not enough of them.



Tracking your food intake and adjusting as necessary to make sure you're getting enough of everything in your diet, and including your mom in the process, could make a big difference. Not only could you make sure you're eating healthy, but you could prove it to her.



Also, talk to her about your reasons for going veg. If she thinks you're just doing it to rebel, prove to her that you're not by giving her the real reason(s).



In other words, communication and education would seem to be key here.



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#7 Old 05-05-2007, 03:44 PM
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If you studied up on vegetarian nutrition before hand, then have you tried showing her what you studied? As others have said, the fact that you lost a lot of weight means that she does have a valid reason for concern. Maybe you were eating healthy foods, but just not enough of them.



Tracking your food intake and adjusting as necessary to make sure you're getting enough of everything in your diet, and including your mom in the process, could make a big difference. Not only could you make sure you're eating healthy, but you could prove it to her.



Also, talk to her about your reasons for going veg. If she thinks you're just doing it to rebel, prove to her that you're not by giving her the real reason(s).



In other words, communication and education would seem to be key here.



--Fromper




I second that! I think it's important that you tell your mother the reason you are doing this, so she doesn't quiestion your intentions (like thinking you have an ED, thinking you do it to be a rebel ect.)

I also think that you have to make sure that you're eating enough
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#8 Old 05-05-2007, 08:11 PM
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thanks i think yall are right. iv told her numerous times about why i want to go veg, she just gets mad because she doesnt want to have to cook sepperate meals for me.[my family LOVES meat].

and also i think becuase she wasnt cooking veg meals and i was taking the meat out and not substituting it with anything was contributing to my wieght loss.meat was a big part of my diet before. so i think that maybe..ya know.

but she still wont let me be one. iv told her everything i know.

idk..
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#9 Old 05-06-2007, 05:06 AM
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Why don't you cook your own meals?

For example, if your family is having pasta with a bolognese sauce on the side, you can cook a tomato sauce and fry some mince, and there you have a meal!

I often cook my own meals, and I have gotten my family totally hooked on a vegetarian pizza
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#10 Old 05-06-2007, 02:28 PM
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iv mentioned cooking for myself. but she doesnt want to have to spend extra money on food for me and she still thinks its unhealthy to be veg.
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#11 Old 05-06-2007, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

If you were eating a well balanced diet you would not be losing weight. You should be eating the same amount of calories etc... as you were on an omni diet. Maybe you should see if you could make an appointment with a nutritionist who could help you plan your diet, and your mother would feel more comfortable knowing that your diet will be balanced.







Yeah, I agree with what rabib_child said.
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#12 Old 05-07-2007, 08:01 PM
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You need to prove to her that it is completely possible to be a healthy vegetarian. Research, read, and read some more! Read up on the matter. Becoming Vegetarian (Melina and Davis) is great (I'm suprised Fromper hasn't suggested this ) and you have the help of a lot of experienced vegetarians and vegans here on VB from all walks of life. You need to prove to her that you know what you are doing, that you are going about it the right way and eating a healthy and balanced diet. Parents are picky, I've encountered the same problems with them doubting my nutrition, so I know where you are coming from.



Research will (most likely) help out a lot! It definitely did for me. This way, you know the nuances of the diet, where you are lacking, what vitamins you need to be careful about (ie B12 and omega-3's), and it helps your parents to realize you are completely serious about your decision, not to mention it's kind of impressive when you start talking about iron absorption and yadda yadda. You might be able to come into an agreement with your parents about the "two meals"- maybe your mom will make dinner, something that can have the meat easily replaced, and you can make the replacement. You could also try making a (balanced) veggie meal for your family once a week or so, proving to them both that you understand your diet, and that vegetarianism isn't "weird" or what have you.



You might also look into being frugal, especially if your mom thinks that you're going to break the bank with "weird" foods. Consider beans (dry). They store for a very long time AND are cheap, versatile, and very nutritious. It's probably more expensive to be an omni (don't quote me, I haven't looked into it); a vegetarian diet is only as expensive or as hard as you make it.



Sometimes though, parents (and others) still aren't supportive for many reasons. Perhaps they are not ready for you to start growing up and making your own decisions; maybe they feel that you are really doing the right thing (being healthy) and they don't want to abandon the only way of living they have known, hence they are in opposition to it. In this case, you might have to self-support yourself a little. If you have a job (with enough spare money) you might be able to buy food for yourself.



Again, I stress research. And good luck! We're here to help you out.
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#13 Old 05-08-2007, 04:53 AM
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I would suggest you attempt to have her talk to your doctor. A good doctor will be receptive to a veg*n diet.



If that doesn't work, then it is time for rebellion. Just refuse to eat the meat. Eventually when you start loosing the weight and you won't back down, it will come to the battle of the wills. Hopefully you will win. This works. Years ago I hated eating fish (I was an omni). My folks used to send me to my room without dinner when I refused to eat the fish. One day I was out playing and I went straight to my room when called in to eat (it was fish night). When they realized the thought of going without food wasn't going to get me to eat fish, they caved in.



Like I said, when all else fails, it becomes a battle of the wills.
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#14 Old 05-08-2007, 06:04 AM
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The drawback of talking to your doctor is that some doctors know very very little about nutrition and would agree with your mom.



How old are you? All of us here understand why you want to be a vegetarian, but there can be a big difference in what you can do if you're 12 or if you're 16. If you're 16, you have a better chance of convincing your mom that you know what you're talking about and you can do this in a healthy way. If you know how to cook (whether you're 12 or 16) you'll also be able to help your mom more.



One thing that might help in talking to your mom (in addition to knowing your nutritional needs) is to give her a list of what you can eat. A veggie pizza when the family is having meat (for a start, you can see if you can order your pizza half with veggies and half with meat). If your family is like mine, soon everyone will be gobbling up the veggie pizza and leaving the meat side alone. Or, you might want to start by eating one vegetarian meal per day (something healthy and balanced) and work your way up to 3 a day. I know it won't be as vegetarian as you'd like to be, but it might be a good way to slowly convince your mom.



When I went vegetarian, it took a while to figure out what replacement meals I could have (I grew up in a meat-and-potatoes family). Check out some vegetarian cookbooks from the library - maybe try out some homemade veggie burgers or something. Show your mom what the nutritional content of those veggie burgers is. Keep trying dishes until you have a good variety to choose from.
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#15 Old 05-08-2007, 06:24 PM
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thank you guys so much..

iv been talkin to her and i think iv pretty much showed her that i know what alot of what there is to know about nutrition. and shes kinda ok with the idea of me cooking for me.

now really the only things that are keeping her from letting me be veg*n it money and her thinking that its wierd.

im only 13 so i cant get a good paying job to help support my diet. and my mom says she wont pay extra for "freak foods".

i can make a little money so does anyone know of any cheap stuff i could get my mom would help a little. nothin "crazy".. but some good veggie stuff.
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#16 Old 05-09-2007, 06:05 AM
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Inexpensive, regular food:



Beans are about the cheapest, most normal-looking protein source out there, and you can do all sorts of things with them.



baked beans - most of the kinds you buy in the store have pork in them, but you can get plain canned beans and make your own baked beans pretty easily. Or, get dried beans which are super cheap and start from scratch.



lentils - they're a cheap food which is easy to prepare, even if most people don't eat them every day. They're also very good for you.



chickpeas/garbanzo beans - another good, cheap, normal looking food. I like to add chickpeas to salads or chop them up and add ingredients as if you were making a tuna salad.



Tofu is also reasonably priced, though more expensive than beans. It takes a while for omnis (and some veg*ns) to get used to tofu, though.



First, though, just try to take what you normally eat and make vegetarian versions of it. That often makes the transition easier.
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#17 Old 05-11-2007, 10:50 AM
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some thoughts.



number 1, i think it is possible to eat a balanced diet and lose weight. maybe the OP ate a lot of fat (which is easy as an omni) before and eats plenty of food now but her body is adjusting and getting healthier



number 2, i don't think you need to prove anything to your mother. she should respect your choice and you should respect her. mutual respect is important. be calm when you talk to her. has she proven to you that her own diet is healthy?
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#18 Old 05-11-2007, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

If you were eating a well balanced diet you would not be losing weight.



That's not true per se. I eat a very healthy and well-balanced diet and lost 20 pounds.



That's not to say I think the OP's diet is healthy... I have no idea.
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#19 Old 05-13-2007, 12:57 PM
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i was probly eating alot of fats before and also i didnt know very much about nutrition.. then when i starte readin about it i learned and when i wen vegetarian i was alot more ..umm... smart[?] about what i ate and how much. i think the change from fattenting foods to healthy foods made the big impact on my wieght.





and about the respect thing.. i do think i need to prove to her that it is healthy because she does have the right to be concerned about my choices [ i know i would be for my kid ] but i do think she should respect it once i have proven the healthyness to her. and as for her diet... not so healthy.
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