First difficult day - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 04-10-2014, 04:29 AM
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I have now been a vegetarian for just under a month, give and take a few days. And today is the first difficult day. It's not really difficult because even though we have meat and fish in the house, I don't want to eat it. It's strange how fast any type of meat didn't feel like food anymore. I don't want to eat it. But I feel sad. I'm thinking that the summer is coming soon and I won't eat my dad's bbq chicken anymore, and I won't fish with my fiancee like we used to all the other summers. I don't even want to. So why am I grieving? 

 

The other day I did sausage stroganoff but with tofu instead of sausage since it's my favourite dish and it was perfect! So I'm trying to tell myself that I'm still discovering and that in a couple of weeks I'll have learned that I can eat all my favourite "flavours" just minus the meat. 

 

Just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm so happy to have found this forum, you guys are really awesome! 

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#2 Old 04-10-2014, 10:17 AM
 
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It's tough, no doubt about it. Food is such a central part of life, especially in our culture, where it goes beyond basic sustenance and really encompasses our social lives, including family. The switch to vegetarian can be hard for us, in terms of sacrificing certain pleasures of life, but can also baffle and irritate our loved ones. They might feel we've joined some strange cult or something. :) Over the course of my years as a vegetarian I've experienced many awkward conversational pauses when the subject comes up. I guess it's just part of the deal.

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#3 Old 04-10-2014, 02:05 PM
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I have now been a vegetarian for just under a month, give and take a few days. And today is the first difficult day. It's not really difficult because even though we have meat and fish in the house, I don't want to eat it. It's strange how fast any type of meat didn't feel like food anymore. I don't want to eat it. But I feel sad. I'm thinking that the summer is coming soon and I won't eat my dad's bbq chicken anymore, and I won't fish with my fiancee like we used to all the other summers. I don't even want to. So why am I grieving? 

The other day I did sausage stroganoff but with tofu instead of sausage since it's my favourite dish and it was perfect! So I'm trying to tell myself that I'm still discovering and that in a couple of weeks I'll have learned that I can eat all my favourite "flavours" just minus the meat. 

Just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm so happy to have found this forum, you guys are really awesome! 

I think it's normal to go through that grieving process, food is all tied up with memories of good times so it's easy to imagine that if you can't eat those foods anymore you won't be able to experience those good times anymore but luckily that isn't true. As you have already discovered it is possible to recreate old favourites and start new traditions, it just takes time to adjust. It sounds like you have a really good attitude and a lot of self-awareness so you're already on the right track! smiley.gif

If you haven't read it yet I highly recommend the book 'Eating Animals' by Jonathan Safran Foer, he talks a lot about the cultural and emotional reasons people get so attached to food and the importance of replacing those old memories like eating your dad's bbq chicken with new ones, you can still have all those great bonding experiences with your loved ones it just takes some slight adjustments.

I used to be a smoker back in my young and reckless days and I found that the process you go through with quitting smoking and quitting meat are very very similar. When I quit smoking I thought about all the great memories I had of meeting new people and wandering outside with my friends while we were puffing away and I felt this huge sense of loss like I'd never be able to experience those feelings again. But of course that was silly and would probably sound crazy to anyone who has never been addicted to nicotine, of course you can still meet new people and bond with your friends without smoking and it's the same with eating meat. Now I look back at both things I used to do and wonder why it seemed like such a big deal.

"If we could live happy and healthy lives without harming others... why wouldn't we?" - Edgars Mission
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#4 Old 04-11-2014, 03:12 AM
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Thank you for your replies!

 

I've tried to think about the animals, because even if I can have a vegetarian diet for my health, it's only if I think about the animals that it will stick. This morning my dad and fiancee had fish for breakfast (we're Scandinavian) and it felt a little bit difficult. So I thought about how truly beautiful salmons are. That's what I'm doing. Thinking about animals, imagining them and how wonderful they are. Also, I'm not missing anything. Not in reality. I've even cut out dairy for a couple of days and it feels good as well. 

Today we're making pizza however and I'm going to eat a cheese free pizza for the first time. Should be good though! 

 

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has had these struggles though. And I've added the book Eating animals to my reading list! As I'm learning and discovering new dishes I think I'll stop being sad. My dad said the sweetest thing this morning, he said that maybe he can marinate tzay with the same sauce and bbq that in the summer. :lick: So I'm lucky to have so many supportive people around me even though not everyone shares my budding veganism. My fiancee who was almost upset during the first days is now very supportive. She teases me, but not in a cruel way. 

 

It's interesting how quitting smoking and quitting meat can be similar. I've known that smoking can be a social thing, but it's never occured to me that meat could be the same way. In theory it seems silly. I will get over it. 

 

Made some hummus. It helps. :p

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#5 Old 04-11-2014, 06:18 AM
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Sounds like you are figuring things out. It's great you've got such supportive people in your life, my friends and family are the same way (very supportive and any teasing is good natured).

 

Fishing used to be a big bonding experience for my dad and me as well. I don't live near him anymore but the last time I visited he and his wife took me and my husband to a lake, we didn't fish just walked around. Fishing is usually about the talking time while waiting for a fish to bite so all of us talking and looking at the lake worked just as well as actual fishing.

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#6 Old 04-12-2014, 08:54 AM
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Vegan barbecuing is easy and delicious! I live in Florida, so we vegan bbq year-round. Portobello mushroom caps fit perfectly on a burger bun and all the regular toppings go great on it. Sweet corn on the cob on the BBQ grill is ridiculously good. Shish kebab with for example, tomato, onion, mushroom, thin slice white/sweet potato can be marinated with anything and barbecued. There are veggie burgers and veggie chicken patties.

As for fishing, if you usually do in a boat, just go boating. If from shore, walk, play frisbee, take photos, kiss a little. smiley.gif

You've made a big life change--some things will be hard, but whole new avenues will open up too.

Stick around here, you'll get lots of good support and information from these members. smiley.gif
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#7 Old 04-12-2014, 09:04 AM
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And pineapple, don't forget about grilled pineapple!

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#8 Old 04-12-2014, 01:34 PM
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Grilled pineapple?? I would never have thought! 

I'll need to try that! 

 

I feel much so better today.

I had a bit of a fight with the fiancee, apparently it's not okay that I'm doing it for animal rights :confused:. She's supportive as long as I want to do it for eating healthy. Well, anyway. She was a bit more reluctant to be okay with it now that I say that I want to go completely vegan. She said a lot of regular STOS to be honest which was heart breaking. :( I think it's fine though. She thinks I'm going through some phase, so if I keep at it, I think she'll eventually take me more seriously and as I've mentioned before, she doesn't mind eating vegetarian or vegan from time to time. 

 

But yeah, I'm feeling much better. I'm not missing meat and I'll find new favourites to cook and learn to bond over other things than fishing and eating meat. 

I'm definitely staying around on the forum! 

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#9 Old 04-12-2014, 01:45 PM
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Oh yes, and peppers, tomatoes, potatoes, really, you can grill nearly every vegetable. It is my favorite summer time activity wink3.gif

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#10 Old 04-12-2014, 03:35 PM
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Oh yes, and peppers, tomatoes, potatoes, really, you can grill nearly every vegetable. It is my favorite summer time activity wink3.gif
I love it too! And HOW did I forget the pineapples? They are amazing grilled. smiley.gif
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#11 Old 04-13-2014, 07:16 AM
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You're fiancee is probably upset for the same reasons you were having a difficult day. She's seeing some of your usual bonding activities as being off limits and she's not sure how to replace them. Give her a little time and try to be patient. Hopefully it all works out well!

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#12 Old 04-13-2014, 12:27 PM
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You're fiancee is probably upset for the same reasons you were having a difficult day. She's seeing some of your usual bonding activities as being off limits and she's not sure how to replace them. Give her a little time and try to be patient. Hopefully it all works out well!

Yeah I think so. She was saying how she wouldn't dare to cook or buy anything for me anymore. I'm giving her time. :)

 

And now I seriously need to try grilled pineapple!:D

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#13 Old 04-14-2014, 12:52 AM
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This is so normal! I agree that it's like quitting smoking. You're anxious that those memories were primarily about food, but of course they were about people. Food brings people together, and food rituals are great for bonding, but you can recreate all of those experiences and create new ones too whist being veggie B-)
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#14 Old 04-14-2014, 04:40 AM
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Today is another kind of difficult day but I'm thinking that it will pass. I just focus on other things, eat my veggies and go on. (well, I eat more than veggies but you know what I mean)

My fiancee however did the most wonderfully sweet thing. I was upstairs and my little sister was baking small breads, she was about to brush them with whipped egg like she usually does, my fiancee stopped her and asked her to brush it with water instead. It was so incredibly sweet that she remembered and thought of me. 

 

Now I'm going to eat lunch which is aubergine with potatoes and honey roasted carrots! 

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#15 Old 04-14-2014, 07:15 AM
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That sounds like a good lunch!

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