New to vegetarianism but having difficulty with my husband... - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 11-09-2009, 06:28 PM
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I am only a few weeks into being a vegetarian, my husband however still eats meat. He supports me and encourages me to do what I feel is right.



I told him when I converted that I would not get preachy on him, but I find it very hard to watch him eat or even purchase food (grocery shopping) for him that contains meat.



I don't want to support those industries in any way, but he still eats flesh, how do I go about this? I have to buy meat for him



I guess what I'm really asking is how do I get him to lean more towards a veg lifestyle without feeling pressured to do so??



Thanks for any suggestions
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#2 Old 11-09-2009, 06:39 PM
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Well... Who does most of the cooking? If it's you, I'd invest in veg*nizing favorite meals... Trying new veg recipes and finding ones he loves, etc.



Also,while he's encouraging, he might not fully understand why you FEEL the way you do about animal products. If that's even possibly the case, if it were me I would tell him for Christmas I'd really like, as a gift to me, for him to sit down and watch Earthlings with me so he can understand what I'm feeling better.



It turned me from omnivore to vegan literally overnight. So even if it doesn't convert him, it would take a really cold-hearted person to not understand why it is so painful for veg*ns to watch someone buy, cook, and eat animal products after seeing it!
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#3 Old 11-09-2009, 11:47 PM
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My live-in BF is still an omni, but is happy to try new veg*n foods with me. He's completely supportive of my choice to go back to vegetarianism.



It's hard for me to cook meat for him simply because of the bizarre smells (it's only been a few months for me but everything smells different)... but I know that he's trying his hardest to eat cleaner and as much veggie food as he can stand.



Perhaps as he sees the change in your health he'll come more over to the dark side. BF is very much a Midwestern meat-n-taters guy, but the longer he's around lots of healthy foods he's more open to trying things.



Best!
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#4 Old 11-10-2009, 02:19 AM
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What many mixed couples do is set ground rules that they can both live with. For example, one rule can be



'no meat in the house but husband can eat meat when he's out'



or



'husband can have meat in the house but he has to buy it and cook it himself'



or



'one day of the week meat is allowed to be cooked in the house'



or some sort of combination of the above that works for you both. Have a think about what options would work best for you and them make some suggestions to discuss with your husband.
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#5 Old 11-10-2009, 07:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFalafel View Post

What many mixed couples do is set ground rules that they can both live with. For example, one rule can be



'no meat in the house but husband can eat meat when he's out'



or



'husband can have meat in the house but he has to buy it and cook it himself'



or



'one day of the week meat is allowed to be cooked in the house'



or some sort of combination of the above that works for you both. Have a think about what options would work best for you and them make some suggestions to discuss with your husband.



That's what we do. When I first went veg*n I bought meat for my husband but he had to cook it. Now he has to buy his own. Just give it time- it gets much easier as you both adjust.

Nikki
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#6 Old 11-10-2009, 12:59 PM
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I'm veg, my wife isn't. She is free to purchase and cook what she wishes. I tend to do most of the cooking and I don't prepare non-veg meals. She, of course, can add what she wishes to what I've cooked.



Another thing, I don't clean pots and pans that meat has been cooked in.



I am surprised to read that some people don't permit omni spouses to have meat in their home. Unless you have an amazingly understanding spouse that sounds like a recipe for divorce.
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#7 Old 11-10-2009, 01:08 PM
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Originally Posted by ravencon View Post

I am surprised to read that some people don't permit omni spouses to have meat in their home. Unless you have an amazingly understanding spouse that sounds like a recipe for divorce.



My OH must be very understanding then. I buy meat for my cats but I wouldn't want meat in my fridge. If we go out to eat or we order in then my husband orders something omni but otherwise at home he eats vegetarian or vegan.
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#8 Old 11-10-2009, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coriander View Post

My live-in BF is still an omni, but is happy to try new veg*n foods with me. He's completely supportive of my choice to go back to vegetarianism.



It's hard for me to cook meat for him simply because of the bizarre smells (it's only been a few months for me but everything smells different)... but I know that he's trying his hardest to eat cleaner and as much veggie food as he can stand.



Perhaps as he sees the change in your health he'll come more over to the dark side. BF is very much a Midwestern meat-n-taters guy, but the longer he's around lots of healthy foods he's more open to trying things.



Best!



My Midwestern mean-n-taters guy turned veggie after a few months of my delcious vegetarian cooking. I seriously thought that he would never give up meat, because he had made statements in the past about how a meal was not a meal without meat (amoung other things as well). Now he is even talking about eventually becoming vegan.



Never give up hope that he will change. All I did was cook food for him. I never asked him to watch Earthlings (he did that on his own though) or anmy other video like that. Sometimes being a quiet influence speaks volumes. When people don't feel pressured to change it can spark curiosity, rather than defensiveness.



To the OP:



When my boyfriend was omni I would not buy or cook any meat. If he wanted to eat it then it wqas up to him to purchase and cook it. Most of the time he was too lazy to do so and just ate veggie meals with me.
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#9 Old 11-10-2009, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Toast View Post

My OH must be very understanding then. I buy meat for my cats but I wouldn't want meat in my fridge. If we go out to eat or we order in then my husband orders something omni but otherwise at home he eats vegetarian or vegan.



This is us (though I'm very new at this) but mostly bc my DH can't cook anything that doesnt come in a box.

He eats pretty much anything I cook, and if he doesn't like something that I make (rare) he just makes something else for himself.

He's eaten a vegetarian meal every night for dinner since I decided I want to be a vegetarian, but he does eat chicken during lunches at work.
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#10 Old 11-10-2009, 01:24 PM
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The issue became far less a topic of conversation after the newness wore off here. I do most of the cooking and if I am asked to cook something nonveggie, I do it. I'm rarely asked anymore, I make some pretty delicious veggie favorites.



For what it's worth, I'm not rude to anyone else about what they are eating and I expect the same respect toward what I'm eating.
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#11 Old 11-10-2009, 01:31 PM
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If you're not comfortable with cooking or buying meat, then don't. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with - regardless if it's in your profession or your marriage. You only live once.



That said, I wouldn't plan on your husband changing or doing anything to try to change him. He can make up his own mind. If you want him to accept you for who you are, do the same to him. I'm not saying meat, egg, and dairy eating are good for nonhuman animals (or human animals), but you are choosing to be his wife and he deserves respect.
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#12 Old 11-10-2009, 02:14 PM
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When I met my husband he was an Omni and I was veg.



I told him that I could not tell him what to do but requested that if he wanted something with meat in it that he cook it. This worked for him and me.



After awhile he decided that he would not bring meat into the home because he respected my choice and appreciated that I had respected his.



After about 4 months he went vegetarian and I went vegan.



It takes some compromise and to keep in mind that any step in the right direction is a good one.



My hubby now does 95% of the cooking and they are all vegan meals. If he wishes, he ads cheese or something to his. He does have cheese in the house but he only has a little and it is kept away from the rest of the food.



I respect him and am proud of HIS choice to become vegetarian. He even wears a Vegetarian logo shirt! LOL!



Best of luck!



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#13 Old 11-10-2009, 02:50 PM
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You don't HAVE to buy meat for him. I'm assuming your husband is an adult, capable of taking himself to the grocery store and purchasing what he wishes. Presuming this is true, if he wants meat, he can purchase it for himself. You can still provide nourishing, delicious, well balanced meals every night and he won't starve if he chooses not to purchase his own meat.



Ravencon -- my fiance and I entered into an agreement when we moved in together that there would not be raw meat in my home, and meat would not be cooked/prepared in my home. I made concessions for lunch meat for sandwiches, cans of soup, and the occasional can of tuna, otherwise, no meat. It is not a recipe for divorce. He gets a delicious homecooked meal every night and is happy and appreciative of that.

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#14 Old 11-10-2009, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trilicia View Post

I am only a few weeks into being a vegetarian, my husband however still eats meat. He supports me and encourages me to do what I feel is right.



I told him when I converted that I would not get preachy on him, but I find it very hard to watch him eat or even purchase food (grocery shopping) for him that contains meat.



I don't want to support those industries in any way, but he still eats flesh, how do I go about this? I have to buy meat for him



I guess what I'm really asking is how do I get him to lean more towards a veg lifestyle without feeling pressured to do so??



Thanks for any suggestions

Do the cooking
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#15 Old 11-10-2009, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabid_child View Post

You don't HAVE to buy meat for him. I'm assuming your husband is an adult, capable of taking himself to the grocery store and purchasing what he wishes. Presuming this is true, if he wants meat, he can purchase it for himself. You can still provide nourishing, delicious, well balanced meals every night and he won't starve if he chooses not to purchase his own meat.



Ravencon -- my fiance and I entered into an agreement when we moved in together that there would not be raw meat in my home, and meat would not be cooked/prepared in my home. I made concessions for lunch meat for sandwiches, cans of soup, and the occasional can of tuna, otherwise, no meat. It is not a recipe for divorce. He gets a delicious homecooked meal every night and is happy and appreciative of that.



your rough
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#16 Old 11-10-2009, 07:49 PM
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Start cooking!! Show him how GREAT veggie food is and cook things where they don't even realize there's no meat.



My fiancee and I have been together almost two years. I was veg when we met so that made things a bit easier but we have an almost meat free household. I too make an exception for lunch meat so that he can bring his lunch to work. That's the only meat we keep in the house and it's in a plastic deli bag which is put in the "meat" tupperware container and stored in one of the drawers in the fridge.



I cook most of our meals and have some GREAT recipes if you're interested. In fact, tonight I FINALLY made a really good No-Beef Stew. Jack (fiancee) said the consistency and taste was PERFECT and I loved it. I search online and here on VB for familiar, homestyle, omni approved recipes. Once I try 'em out if it's something we both like I add it to our "favorites" and start incorporating it into our meals.



Like I said I was already veg when we met so we had an understanding from the beginning. Others here have given good advice but you need to remember that you are the one that has changed, not your husband. As much as we hope and wish they will

"see the light" and change their ways we need to accept that may never happen and you have to remember that it's not only your house but his as well and doing something like trying to forbid meat may not go over very well. That being said talk to him about the way you're feeling and see if he is open to picking up his own meat and/or making any other compromises. He sounds like a supportive, loving husband and if you can gently voice your feelings without attacking him I'm sure you can work it out.



In my opinion cooking great meals is the easiest way to persuade anyone to eat vegetarian...even if it's only at home. If you're interested in any recipes please PM me. I'd be glad to share mine and my fiancee's favorites.



Black Bean and Corn Enchiladas

Chili over baked potatoes

Cuban Black Beans and Rice

Mexican "chick'n" and Spanish Rice

Spaghetti & "meat"balls

Lentil Loaf & Spicy homemade Frech Fries

Veggie Pot Pie

Veggie Stir Fry

Stuffed Peppers

Fried Rice

Lumpia (Filipino egg rolls)

Tater tot hot dish



....just to name a few
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#17 Old 11-11-2009, 05:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickle00 View Post

Start cooking!! Show him how GREAT veggie food is and cook things where they don't even realize there's no meat.



My fiancee and I have been together almost two years. I was veg when we met so that made things a bit easier but we have an almost meat free household. I too make an exception for lunch meat so that he can bring his lunch to work. That's the only meat we keep in the house and it's in a plastic deli bag which is put in the "meat" tupperware container and stored in one of the drawers in the fridge.



I cook most of our meals and have some GREAT recipes if you're interested. In fact, tonight I FINALLY made a really good No-Beef Stew. Jack (fiancee) said the consistency and taste was PERFECT and I loved it. I search online and here on VB for familiar, homestyle, omni approved recipes. Once I try 'em out if it's something we both like I add it to our "favorites" and start incorporating it into our meals.



Like I said I was already veg when we met so we had an understanding from the beginning. Others here have given good advice but you need to remember that you are the one that has changed, not your husband. As much as we hope and wish they will

"see the light" and change their ways we need to accept that may never happen and you have to remember that it's not only your house but his as well and doing something like trying to forbid meat may not go over very well. That being said talk to him about the way you're feeling and see if he is open to picking up his own meat and/or making any other compromises. He sounds like a supportive, loving husband and if you can gently voice your feelings without attacking him I'm sure you can work it out.



In my opinion cooking great meals is the easiest way to persuade anyone to eat vegetarian...even if it's only at home. If you're interested in any recipes please PM me. I'd be glad to share mine and my fiancee's favorites.



Black Bean and Corn Enchiladas

Chili over baked potatoes

Cuban Black Beans and Rice

Mexican "chick'n" and Spanish Rice

Spaghetti & "meat"balls

Lentil Loaf & Spicy homemade Frech Fries

Veggie Pot Pie

Veggie Stir Fry

Stuffed Peppers

Fried Rice

Lumpia (Filipino egg rolls)

Tater tot hot dish



....just to name a few



Mmm, I want to come over for dinner! I would love your lentil loaf recipe if you don't mind posting it.

Nikki
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#18 Old 11-11-2009, 06:45 AM
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Originally Posted by PassTheSwine View Post

your rough



No, it's called being assertive.

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