Eat to Live VII: Eating Disorder Recovery Support - Page 59 - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 80Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1741 Old 04-16-2014, 12:52 AM
Veggie Regular
 
piratemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,521

We are here for you Kadijah, too. 

piratemoon is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#1742 Old 04-16-2014, 09:28 AM
Veggie Regular
 
khadijah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cairo Egypt
Posts: 1,057

Thanks

khadijah is offline  
#1743 Old 04-18-2014, 11:20 AM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by KHADIJAH View Post
 

no I actually havent, I  do not currently live in USA right now.   I  would like to speak to some one but I dont  know I havent checked if they have anyoe here that would be capable of that here.  I dont care for the doctors here much. Yeah  Im hurt by what he said, I mean, I was concerned for him and do not want to see him hurt,  as I feel this other person is using him. The worse thing about it  hes a VB member here.  I mean  our friend ship was really special to me, because I do not have many friends  I thought we had connected,we shared things, we each other that even some of my family do not know.And  him to do that not so much as even an email, text nothing, IT hurts like hell, but I guess I will have to move on. 

 

It absolutely hurts, let yourself grieve. He made his choice, if she's using him that's his issue now, not yours. I had a similar feeling with one of my ex's, so I know how it feels. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by KHADIJAH View Post
 

Im starting to freak out about this whole situation. Im trying to pull my self together but  I can, I had a panick attack yesterday. And I havent been able to sleep in days, I cant stop crying, he does not realize what this had  done to  to me it has thrown me fully back in to my ed habits and yesterday I felt the earge to cut and I have not done this in a long time.  Im not good enough for anyone, or anything . Everytime I find some one that I think I  can trust it just back fires and they leave. I know I need to move on  but Im having a hard time . I think Im just going to take a break from online, for a few days to see if I an get my thoughts in order.  But before I just I just wanted to tell you all that Im here for you all and support you, and I know excatly what you are going threw because I am  dealing with it or have dealt with it. 

 

You can't let this man have a hold on you so strongly. He's not worth it. When my ex and I of 6 years broke up (he ended things), I was a mess. I'm SO glad I had that experience though, I know now he wasn't right for me (had my suspicions before the breakup). I now have someone in my life who is a million times better. I took the time between my boyfriends to focus on myself. Make myself happy, learn to be completely happy without a man. That's so important for your emotional well being. We're here for you. :hug:

danakscully64 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#1744 Old 04-22-2014, 11:44 PM
 
Mukit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 14

I want to fix my problems but how can this thread helps me? it is not clear to me.

Mukit is offline  
#1745 Old 04-23-2014, 02:00 AM
Veggie Regular
 
khadijah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cairo Egypt
Posts: 1,057

Yeah my friend has since then spoken to me, but  we are not like we were he said hes still a bit pissed and feels kind of Awkward.    I still feel the tension between us.       anyway I feel so neglected, I dont like this feeling , Id rather if he does not want to talk to me say fine we are done, dont  drag it out, I feel like he is talking to me out of charity now.  and all this over some one he hardly knows,  I agree it is his problem forgive me for being concerned, he told me he was turned off  of me for how I acted. because I told him to choose anyway that means that two years of friend ship ment nothing if you can go out and get a replacement then, I guess that is what I ment nothing. anyway I am done, Im not  going to let it ruin my life and control me any more. Im not going to bother talking to him if he want to talk he can message me.  Better yet go talk to the chosen one . anyway danascully64   I totally agree with your comment. As for me eating Im am trying   but it has been off last week and most of this week. my sleeping had gotten alittle better, anyway thanks for letter me ramble I feel much better. It means alot  take care you all and I am behind you. 100 percent.

khadijah is offline  
#1746 Old 04-23-2014, 09:21 AM
Newbie
 
XWillowX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 93

Am struggling but i have support from a eating disorder group that just started up in my city 

unsure if i want to recover  i need to lose weight  one thing is i want to become vegan  but i don't know if that because of the disgusting things that happen to the animals or if its my eating disorder talking  my husband wants me to remain veggie 

he is a meat eater and dont really understand about me wanting to be vegan  


"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
"To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being."
Mahatma Gandhi,
XWillowX is offline  
#1747 Old 04-24-2014, 09:49 AM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mukit View Post
 

I want to fix my problems but how can this thread helps me? it is not clear to me.

You need to speak to a professional. This is a support group, like an AA for people with EDs. You're not alone. 

danakscully64 is offline  
#1748 Old 04-27-2014, 03:22 PM
Veggie Regular
 
khadijah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cairo Egypt
Posts: 1,057

im trying to look some some one here but doctors arent that great here. so hopely will see

khadijah is offline  
#1749 Old 04-28-2014, 03:43 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609

Has anyone here gone through refeeding to gain weight?  I have been through this before but each time is still very stressful.  I have done it on my own and with an eating disorder dietician and in treatment (forced that time and it was hell) but I have never saw it all the way through to the end.  Always I would give up and go back to restricting.  This is the closest I have ever gotten so far to a normal weight and pushing on, and it is stressing me out BIG TIME.  I am just three lbs from a normal weight range, the closest I have gotten in six years and finally broke past my fear point.  I am psychologically a mess, crying all the time, but still determined and trying not to get in my own way.  But I wonder if I am pushing too hard or going about it wrong.  I have two weeks before I graduate from college and I can't focus at all.  Really trying to pull myself together for two more weeks.  My appetite has suddenly exploded with allowing myself to eat more freely and I want to eat everything in site all day.  Trying hard to stick to a meal plan but still find myself wanting to binge, the very thing I am trying to stop doing by normalizing my eating.  Eating more only seems to be making it worse.  Sighs.  I used to hardcore restrict, then went through a periods of restrict/exercise and then binge/purge and back and forth.  I just want to be able to eat normally and get to a place where I can maintain and stop having to think about and plan and obsess about food all the time.  Having a hard time accepting my body at a higher weight but longing to be healthy.  I am so terrified I will never stop gaining and that my body won't ever get to a point of a set weight where I can maintain without so much effort. Or that I will never get to a point of my hunger level being so insane.  Is this a normal fear and is this increased hunger normal or is there something wrong with me?  Has anyone here ever gotten to a set weight range and maintained there?  Did you go through intense hunger at first?

 

I know I really need professional help but for now I am just trying to pull myself through the last few weeks of school before I lose it completely.  Any words of wisdom would be great.  

ilikekale likes this.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1750 Old 04-29-2014, 12:45 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Lentil City, UK
Posts: 2,535

Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time at the moment Naturebound <3  You have done so well to get to this point.  Maybe it's time to allow yourself a break from the pressure to 'gain'.  Healthy snacks around all the time for that 'appetite explosion' but other than that don't focus on food.  You have so many other pressures on you with college that you need to be gentle with yourself.

 

Yes I think to a certain extent your body does find a 'natural' weight as long as your are eating a healthy, balanced diet and doing regular exercise.  From your posts you are active and eat healthily so I don't think you need to worry at all :-)

 

I'm sorry but I don't really have any words of wisdom other than to say, be proud of yourself ~ what you have done is awesome even if it doesn't feel like it right now.  Good luck with the lead up to your graduation x

ilikekale likes this.
60225 is offline  
#1751 Old 04-29-2014, 02:28 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609

Thank you so much Quiet-Vegan for your support!  It means a great deal to me even if you don't have all the answers.  I'm trying to slow down a little and not be so hard on myself right now.  

 

Do you maintain your weight naturally or is it something you have to think about? If this is too personal of a question you don't have to answer.  I am always curious as to how normal healthy people go about their lives in regards to eating.  I once maintained naturally years ago without thinking much about it but it feels like eternity ago.  I would love to be able to return to that point some day and just get on with my life and focus on other stuff more.  


In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1752 Old 04-30-2014, 12:19 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Lentil City, UK
Posts: 2,535

For a long time I maintained what I consider to be my 'natural' weight of 65 kilos (I'm 5' 9").  This was through healthy eating (not obsessing though) and regular exercise.

 

Now that I've hit menopause and no longer work out on a regular basis I fluctuate anywhere between 65 and 70 kilos. I hate being at the upper weight limit, my clothes feel tight and even though nobody else notices the difference I feel huge.  I tend to hover around 67 kilos most of the time.

60225 is offline  
#1753 Old 04-30-2014, 04:27 AM
Bracing for snow
 
ilikekale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quiet-Vegan View Post

Sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time at the moment Naturebound <3  You have done so well to get to this point.  Maybe it's time to allow yourself a break from the pressure to 'gain'.  Healthy snacks around all the time for that 'appetite explosion' but other than that don't focus on food.  You have so many other pressures on you with college that you need to be gentle with yourself.

Very well said!

Just relax and take it easy while you finish up. Life is good! Silly song but... "Don't worry, be happy" wink3.gif We're 100% behind you.

Ken
ilikekale is offline  
#1754 Old 04-30-2014, 09:57 AM
Veggie Regular
 
lavender phase's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,644
I am told I'm skinny but I feel fat sad.gif wel, I really pick certain areas I would like to lose weight from like my tummy area no one sees it but me .... I exercise extremely to lose tummy fat that no one sees but me. I swear its there sad.gif I get so depressed about it because people don't see it anyone else have an area of their body like that?
lavender phase is offline  
#1755 Old 04-30-2014, 03:15 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilikekale View Post


Very well said!

Just relax and take it easy while you finish up. Life is good! Silly song but... "Don't worry, be happy" wink3.gif We're 100% behind you.

Ken

Thanks Ken lol.  You seem to be such a laid back person.  What I would give for some of that!  I am feeling a bit better right now than I was when I posted last.  Going to do some animal rights leafleting tomorrow at a large university and I am a nervous wreck (haven't leafleted since last December) but also looking forward to it.  I think it will be a good way to get outside of my own head and do something positive and not obsess about my body so much.  You guys on VB have been so incredibly helpful while I battle this.  I am forever grateful for all the support I have gotten here and I have come further now than I have in a long time.  You guys rock!


In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1756 Old 04-30-2014, 03:22 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavender phase View Post

I am told I'm skinny but I feel fat sad.gif wel, I really pick certain areas I would like to lose weight from like my tummy area no one sees it but me .... I exercise extremely to lose tummy fat that no one sees but me. I swear its there sad.gif I get so depressed about it because people don't see it anyone else have an area of their body like that?

Lavender I feel the same way about my tummy.  I have an extremely short waist/torso with long legs (I used to be nicknamed spider when I was a kid) and not much room for my abdomen to stretch so it sort of sticks out.  The only way I could get it flat was to starve to a low weight but obviously that has wrecked my bones and caused a whole host of problems so I guess it isn't worth it.  I've done countless ab work and cardio but it didn't help much.  I had three surgeries on my abdomen for endometriosis over the years so I am guessing that is part of it too. 

 

Isn't it insane what we fret over that others don't even notice?  I'll bet you have a lovely abdomen.   HUGS

lavender phase likes this.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1757 Old 04-30-2014, 04:10 PM
Bracing for snow
 
ilikekale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naturebound View Post

Thanks Ken lol.  You seem to be such a laid back person.  What I would give for some of that!  

Yeah, that's pretty much straight truth. Mostly credited to my folks. They were very thoughtful people. Between that and my natural personality, the "laid back" you see is just the tip of the iceberg wink3.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naturebound View Post

I think it will be a good way to get outside of my own head and do something positive and not obsess about my body so much.  

Always a good idea. Self awareness is good, but self focus, maybe not so much...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naturebound View Post

You guys rock!

And so do you. Remember that!

Ken
ilikekale is offline  
#1758 Old 05-05-2014, 05:13 PM
 
BoxingDonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Sweet valley PA
Posts: 103

Hi!

I am apprehensive about sharing anything ever because I have been through a lot and most of my friends and nearly all of my family have walked away. I have been in recovery for many years and pretty much "ok" but last year I went through a very violent sexual assault that actually ended up leading to something even worse (which dragged on for 6 months) and I never got a chance to process any of it. I stay busy, I stay healthy but lately I have had down time, my life is "safe" (as it can be) and the nightmares and thoughts and food issues are creeping back in. I have PTSD and I tend to try and plow through it. Clearly not having any success. Unfortunately I am in the fitness industry and a boxer and everyone is a bad ass so any complaining about anything is instant weakness. Sometimes I consider calling a hotline just to have someone to talk to but then I just cant bring myself to let go. I have a physically strenuous life so I have to eat, and I do, I am not active at all. Boxing helps manage my stress and in turn I eat to support intense workouts so its a nice cycle. Then the voice creeps back. I KNOW better but some days I entertain it a little to long. I am just sick of feeling empty, alone, angry beyond belief, betrayed, worthless... the list goes on. Its weird because I am stronger than I have ever been before but then some times it seems like its not so much strength as apathy. I actually dont care what anyone thinks. I don't care about consequences for over reacting to things or even god forbid reacting violently. When I think like this my ED makes so much sense, those are my weak moments.Sigh. I'm sorry I know none of this makes any sense :/

BoxingDonkey is offline  
#1759 Old 05-06-2014, 08:23 AM
Veggie Regular
 
lavender phase's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,644
I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder however I am very careful about the foods that I choose to eat and if I eat junk I feel awful about it for days and I read labels constantly .... I can easily get swept away with ramen noodles, chips and cola but I cannot live with the guilt .... I feel well mentally and
physically when I eat raw fruits and veggies I feel
that all is right smiley.gif
lavender phase is offline  
#1760 Old 05-09-2014, 12:21 PM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoxingDonkey View Post
 

Hi!

I am apprehensive about sharing anything ever because I have been through a lot and most of my friends and nearly all of my family have walked away. I have been in recovery for many years and pretty much "ok" but last year I went through a very violent sexual assault that actually ended up leading to something even worse (which dragged on for 6 months) and I never got a chance to process any of it. I stay busy, I stay healthy but lately I have had down time, my life is "safe" (as it can be) and the nightmares and thoughts and food issues are creeping back in. I have PTSD and I tend to try and plow through it. Clearly not having any success. Unfortunately I am in the fitness industry and a boxer and everyone is a bad ass so any complaining about anything is instant weakness. Sometimes I consider calling a hotline just to have someone to talk to but then I just cant bring myself to let go. I have a physically strenuous life so I have to eat, and I do, I am not active at all. Boxing helps manage my stress and in turn I eat to support intense workouts so its a nice cycle. Then the voice creeps back. I KNOW better but some days I entertain it a little to long. I am just sick of feeling empty, alone, angry beyond belief, betrayed, worthless... the list goes on. Its weird because I am stronger than I have ever been before but then some times it seems like its not so much strength as apathy. I actually dont care what anyone thinks. I don't care about consequences for over reacting to things or even god forbid reacting violently. When I think like this my ED makes so much sense, those are my weak moments.Sigh. I'm sorry I know none of this makes any sense :/

 

It makes sense. I really, really recommend seeing a therapist about your PTSD. Do you have medical insurance? 

danakscully64 is offline  
#1761 Old 05-09-2014, 12:23 PM
Super Moderator
 
danakscully64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 34,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by lavender phase View Post

I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder however I am very careful about the foods that I choose to eat and if I eat junk I feel awful about it for days and I read labels constantly .... I can easily get swept away with ramen noodles, chips and cola but I cannot live with the guilt .... I feel well mentally and
physically when I eat raw fruits and veggies I feel
that all is right smiley.gif

 

Junk food makes you physically feel bad, so I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy to read labels and be cautious about what you're consuming. As long as you maintain a healthy relationship with food (not obsessed with calories, fat, and every little bite), I don't think you really have to worry. 

danakscully64 is offline  
#1762 Old 05-09-2014, 01:58 PM
 
DCDDM228's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 25
I just wanted to say it was nice to see this thread. I just discovered it today. I have struggled with an eating disorder for 11 years ranging from severe anorexia to current EDNOS. It's nice to know there will be a place to talk here if I need support.
DCDDM228 is offline  
#1763 Old 05-11-2014, 03:14 AM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by DCDDM228 View Post

I just wanted to say it was nice to see this thread. I just discovered it today. I have struggled with an eating disorder for 11 years ranging from severe anorexia to current EDNOS. It's nice to know there will be a place to talk here if I need support.

 

Hi DCDDM228!  I hope you find this thread helpful!

 

I am continuing on in my battle to regain some health.  I have not been restricting at all, but still somewhat obsessive about menu planning/calories/macronutrients etc.  My goal is to someday let some of that go and just eat when I am naturally hungry etc.  Right now my hunger signals are not in a natural state due to the nature of my illness so I have to plan and eat a set amount of meals etc.  It sometimes gets rather uncomfortable how hungry I can get now.  My metabolism has come to life lol.  I am very close to a normal weight range now and my body is filling out where once there were gaps.  This is extraordinarily difficult and I am not going to lie that it has been easy for me at all or that I have been perfect.  Just trying to take things one day at a time.  My emotions are still all over the board but I keep pushing forward.  My motivation has been not only freedom from the prison I have been in, but visiting osteoporosis forums and seeing the struggles people face.  My bones are in horrible shape (T score -3.6 and z score -3.4 in spine).  I really don't want to be debilitated by pain the rest of my life.  I'm already having strange itchy and tingly sensations in my middle/lower spine that is new.  

 

I graduated from college this last week finally!  It was only a two year associate program but I am still proud of myself for finally sticking it out, following through, and finishing!  I have dropped out of school three times in the past over a 24 year period and was unable to finish due to mental health issues so this is huge for me.  And I not only survived anatomy and physiology (top student in my class), pathophysiology, countless medical coding courses, math/statistics, and other tough courses, but I maintained a 4.0 GPA despite being very sick the last year with my anorexia!  The last year was fricking insane and I would never want to repeat that!  

Now the daunting task of job searching and interviews, getting a better job, and passing the RHIT certification exam.  One day at a time right?  This weekend I have done nothing productive lol.  Just celebrating freedom (in more ways than one) and the great weather!  

 

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers! 

beanspud and ilikekale like this.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1764 Old 05-11-2014, 11:01 AM
 
DCDDM228's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 25
Well everyone. ...The time has come to talk. I binged and purged last night for the first time in weeks. I feel so ashamed.....I had been doing so good.

You what sucks? I feel so alone in this battle. I have been battling an eating disorder for 11 years. My family has no clue anymore. I was severely anorexic and ended up gaining enough weight to be healthy.....although still slightly underweight. I appear normal to them and have for a few years. They see I eat super healthy and vegan and think I am ok. I am not. I have a double life. I act as though I love healthy food and eating and taking care of myself and behind closed doors I battle with food constantly. I feel so fat all the time (even though I know fat is not a feeling) and my disordered thought pattern has never healed, just hidden from others now. I feel so alone in this. It's like I have had a demon in my head for 11 years. It's even worse because I am a guy. I know lots of guys have EDs, but I have never met one. I feel as though the few people who know about my past and current problems don't take me seriously because I am male and so many people think "men don't get anorexia." Sorry, I am just an emotional wreck since last night. I honestly don't know how to cope without anorexia or bulimia anymore. I'm frustrated!
DCDDM228 is offline  
#1765 Old 05-11-2014, 07:57 PM
Veggie Regular
 
lavender phase's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,644
First of all I want to hug you ! second you did so well and give yourself time to resist the urge to purge .... choose low fat and low cal foods .... eat clean also drink smoothies if you do purge you will not hurt yourself as much .... stomach acid burns away on your throat and teeth and pieces of food can choke you .... try to understand what triggers you .... I'm here if you need a friend smiley.gif
lavender phase is offline  
#1766 Old 05-21-2014, 04:14 AM
Veggie Regular
 
khadijah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cairo Egypt
Posts: 1,057
I hope everyone else is ok, last few week for me have me awful .
khadijah is offline  
#1767 Old 05-21-2014, 05:59 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by khadijah View Post
I hope everyone else is ok, last few week for me have me awful .
I'm sorry to hear that khadijah! HUGS to you.

I am doing ok. Stable, not really moving forward but not sliding back either, just maintaining my five lb weight gain since i decided to fight harder to recover and put on weight, but I find that I can maintain eating a lot more than I used to maintain on so my metabolism is working better. Haven't quite reached a normal weight but very close. I may be joining a local support group soon. It meets on Monday nights but this coming Monday I will be out of town, so I am going to try to go the next Monday. I really need real time support for my struggles. I talked to the facilitator and she seemed very nice.

I see the osteoporosis doctor tomorrow and I am dreading it because I know he is going to want to put me on meds due to my severely low bone density and the side effects of those drugs are horrid. Just what I need, a drug to make me so nauseated I lose the ability to eat and lose the weight I worked so hard to put on, which in turn is not going to help my osteoporosis. Catch 22. I am working really hard to eat far more than I was for a long time, and get in the nutrients my body needs to heal. But it's a psychological battle with every meal.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1768 Old 05-22-2014, 08:43 AM
 
DCDDM228's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 25
^I know what you mean about being put on a med that makes you lose weight while every meal is still a struggle. My primary care recently put me back on prozac. It's the only antidepressant that does have a positive effect for me.....but I can't eat on it. The desire and appetite is totally gone. Take an antidepressant to help my emotions which should help my eating disorder behavior.....but then I can't eat on it. Oh well, at least the desire to binge and purge has been diminished greatly since I started taking it.
DCDDM228 is offline  
#1769 Old 05-22-2014, 06:48 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Quote:
Originally Posted by DCDDM228 View Post
^I know what you mean about being put on a med that makes you lose weight while every meal is still a struggle. My primary care recently put me back on prozac. It's the only antidepressant that does have a positive effect for me.....but I can't eat on it. The desire and appetite is totally gone. Take an antidepressant to help my emotions which should help my eating disorder behavior.....but then I can't eat on it. Oh well, at least the desire to binge and purge has been diminished greatly since I started taking it.
This is what makes eating disorders so frustrating! Its good to hear at least it helps you with the bingeing/purging though!

My appointment went ok. I had my vitamin D, calcium, and parathyroid hormones checked but won't know the results until next week. Apparently no one has ever checked my parathyroid hormones. We went over all my risk factors for my bone loss (there are many) and I mentioned about my eating disorder. He automatically assumed I have bulimia because I am almost at a normal weight. It was odd to suddenly experience this. For so long I was very underweight and it was obvious to people. I had to make sure he understood that I am a solid twenty lbs heavier than I was last year and that I was very underweight for years and I am certain this is what has made my bone density so much worse. At any rate we went over treatment options and narrowed it down to Prolia injection. He understood my concerns with the oral meds that cause GI side effects and how important it is for me to be able to eat and maintain weight. I already take hrt so there are not many other options. I am scared of taking an injection that will stay in my body for six months. What if it causes terrible side effects or I have a bad reaction? I have to go back next week to go over labs and discuss it more. He said if I don't treat it now and my bone density continues to decline, I will be in a world of trouble in the next ten years and it will be much harder to recoup that bone loss. At least he was not against me being vegan, and he was sympathetic to me when I said that losing my ovaries was not my choice (the surgeon decided to take them when he removed my uterus) and was very very traumatic for me and triggered my ED in 2006. In fact he was a bit peeved that any doctor would remove a woman's ovaries at such a young age when she had so many risk factors for osteoporosis. It wasn't like I had cancer.
At any rate, the visit helped motivate me to continue to care for myself better and not let the negative thoughts pull me down again.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
#1770 Old 06-30-2014, 03:28 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Naturebound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,609
Yesterday I found out that a good friend of mine, whom I have kept in touch with for six years online, passed away from anorexia nervosa. She was in her forties, a doctor, and had two teenage sons. She loved her sons so much and she talked about the joys of spending time with them a lot. She liked to run. I imagine she felt free when she ran. She was so incredibly supportive of me. She encouraged my creative writing and cheered me on when I began to go through recovery from this disorder. But she couldn't overcome hers. She struggled with it for many years and then in the end gave up and quite suddenly went downhill.

I only ever knew her online, but her death has really shaken me to the core. I am very very saddened by it. I miss her so much, and I am angry that such a good person has been taken from this world and much too young. She was so caring of others, and she had a lot of friends. She was a good doctor. But not even doctors are immune to the destruction that an eating disorder can cause. It can take you under so fast. Eating disorders are so misunderstood. I mourn not only for her but for everyone who suffers with an eating disorder.

I have been crying all day yesterday and today. It is hard to lose someone so special. I feel like I have one less person in the world on my side. I never realized how strongly I have bonded to online friends before, but they are as special as ones in real life. I will forever miss you Asti. I will always remember your warm friendship and how you encouraged my writing and how you tried to be there for your patients and friends even when you were in the midst of turmoil. Your fight was not in vain.

In the end, only kindness matters. - Jewel



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Naturebound is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off