Eat To Live VI: Eating Disorder Recovery Support - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-27-2005, 07:28 PM
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Eat to Live V: Support Thread for Eating Disorder Recovery



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Anyone is welcome to join in, but you have to following the rules:



1. You get hugged, regardless if you want it or not.

2. You have to be willing to learn to love yourself, even if you do not right now.

3. You have to listen to me, as Mama Bear knows best.

4. Numbers concerning weight, calories, etc are not allowed.

5. Naming-calling yourself will only be tolerated to a point. 1 positive comment is required in every post.

6. You have to be actively working on getting better.



May the day come quickly when we do not need this thread. Until then, this will always been a safe place to land.



Krista



Why actively getting better? This is meant as a recovery thread, a place to support people who recognize they have a problem and are working to fix it OUTSIDE of the internet. This is a peer group; we are not doctors or therapists. We cannot help you conquer your eating disorder all by ourselves.



I don't post a lot in here, but I read to ensure that it's running smoothly. When not around, please defer to Charity, Cissy, rainbowmoon, and azalea. If they ask you not to do something (or to do something), please follow their instructions.



I am the member formerly known as kristadb.
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#2 Old 03-27-2005, 08:26 PM
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I want to go first.



I think most of you know I went through some recovery a few years back.



As of recently, I've lost weight. Just because I've been running everywhere, working thirty plus hours a week and going to school full time. Not because I'm trying to starve.



Anyway, I recognize this as bad, unhealthy. I need to be bigger, stronger. So I'm going to have to eat more. I'll be joining DoshKel, Porvida, and all you guys as you try and put on weight.



The deal is though... It's such a pain in the ass. I'm not gonna feel like making smoothies in the morning, and packing my lunch, and eating right. I am a lazy person.



I'm gonna need you guys to kick my butt a little. I don't want to be the anorexic looking girl again. And I don't want to start having all sorts of panic attacks and annoyances about what I eat, if I have to regiment food intake for myself.



Tell me to eat. Tell me to chill out.
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#3 Old 03-27-2005, 08:32 PM
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eat. chill out.



perhaps stock your freezer... like make smoothies of various flavors and then freeze them into smoothie popsicles. I don't know if that would work (I've never tried it) but... maybe. That way, in the morning, you could just grab a popsicle and go. plus, with summer coming, it'd probably be nice to be able to have a popsicle for breakfast.
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#4 Old 03-27-2005, 08:32 PM
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hey allison -- eat. chill out.



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#5 Old 03-27-2005, 09:08 PM
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Allison - I'm not going to say it because everyone else did But, when I saw you at VeBoCon, you couldn't afford to lose anything, so just eat yummy stuff. I understand, I'm not a breakfast person myself. Or I just am too lazy to make it.



---



Positive: Uh, I got a prom date. That's sort of cool. There's a good story behind that, but I won't bug you. Maybe I'll just bug Jen about it
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#6 Old 03-27-2005, 09:09 PM
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Pint time eh Charity?



Eat. Chill out.



Mines going to be short. Name is Luke and I am an anorexic. I used to weigh as much as a mouse, but now am a little better off. Been in the hospital twice, and found out about a week ago that I might have the fastest metabolism in the world . Had a relapse yesterday (yup..one day relapse), but now what Chairty said made me think. Relapse = me being a loser. Eating like normal today because I don't want to die. I'm still losing body fat because I think my body hates me, but thats going to change. Now am eating jars of PB at a time .



Cheers.



P.S. Krista...holy crap you are back
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#7 Old 03-27-2005, 11:05 PM
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Glad to hear you all working on getting better/have gotten better. And, Charity, go eat.



And, Dosh, I read a post in the other thread about not wanting to eat b/c of others starving. Well, you don't want to starve. You want to get better so you can help out, right? Contribute to charities, etc. After all, people are starving everywhere, not just one area. Come on...keep up your good work...I'm sure your metabolism will get sorted eventually.



I, sometimes, feel hopeless too...but, we all have some way of contributing, no matter how big or small.





Take care!
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#8 Old 03-27-2005, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cissy View Post

Maybe I'll just bug Jen about it



hehe i <3 getting PMs and i <3 you so you go and bug me about anything you want i enjoyed the story.



eta: even though i don't use capital letters ever, i realized that it's good to capitalize PM, because if you pluralize it like i did there without capitalizing... i ended up just saying i like getting pms
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#9 Old 03-27-2005, 11:43 PM
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^^



ahh, things seem brighter already!!
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#10 Old 03-28-2005, 02:32 AM
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I'm relatively new here. I think a lot of you know my story, so I'll post the short version:



I'm suffering from anorexia and trying to recover - but I can't seem to make that important "consume enough calories to gain weight" step. My weight is very dangerous and very very low for my height...for anyone's height basically. But I just can't seem to make that step yet. I'm not ashamed to admit that the fact is I'm scared to grow..to expand..to gain weight, to get bigger.
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#11 Old 03-28-2005, 08:46 AM
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I have been struggling with anorexia for 5 years now, and I have reached the point were, I only have one chance left to beat this, I have worn out all my chances, if I can't do it this time, I loose all my support, everyone will give up on me including myself, which would be the end of my life, if i stop trying i WILL DIE! I am once again for the MILLIONTH TIME in the refeeding process, which I HATE!!! I have been in acute care hospitals 4 times for 2 months, I was at UCLA med center for 7 weeks, Remuda Ranch for 4months and Standford med center for 3 weeks, been in ambulances and countless ER visits, it is time for the **** to end....i have to F**king much to give this world to strave it away!
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#12 Old 03-28-2005, 09:15 AM
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Annika -
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#13 Old 03-28-2005, 09:26 AM
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Hey everybody-

I think that it is really a great idea for us to share our stories here, especially for those who have recovered and are making steps toward recovery. I also thought it might be good for everyone here to set a few recovery goals- whether these goals are maintainence goals or baby steps towards recovery.

I will start. I was diagnosed with two eating disorders on two seperate occassions, those being COD and exercise bulimia, but I never really felt like I fit or cared about those labels. The only thing I know at this point is that an ongoing obsession and bad relationship with food has taken me through a range of behaviors, including starving, binging, and a little bit of purging, none of which was fun. So, here I am now...a little bit overweight from all of my bad behavior and not quite as free from the "ED thoughts" as I should be. Still, I do very well sometimes.

I do want to set some goals for my health and happiness, and to keep me free from eating problems- the one I fight with the most at this point is binging. So, here we go:

1. I will eat only when I am hungry, until I am full

2. I will treat myself once a day but try to eat healthy foods

3. I will exercise 3-4 times a week- no more, no less

Thats all for now. Why doesn't anybody else try now?
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#14 Old 03-28-2005, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnikaBaanaica View Post

i have to F**king much to give this world to strave it away!



it makes me so happy to hear (well, read) you say that, annika!
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#15 Old 03-28-2005, 01:36 PM
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go annika!!



i read this thread and occasionally pop up into it..and Charity.. peanut butter and jelly smoothies are yummy... go have one..



so.. i'm going to introduce myself. I'm Deva. 19, a junior in Uni in ohio. I was anorexic for 9 months when i was sixteen. my parents caught it in gtime.. and i can say that i have healed, and mainly stick around to offer words of encouragement, advice, and a helping hand when needed. I am currently training for a triathlon in June - though I am not sure if i will be able to partake in it - i recently developed severe symptoms of endometriosis.. and at the same time, was dropped from my insurance policy. I know that had i not chosen the path of health when i came to that fork in the road, i would not be able to do the things i am doing now.



To those of you who are working towards wellness (i never like to say recovery because to me it sounds like what they do when they search deep seawrecks), the path is not always easy, but the rewards at the end are always within your grasp. with the aid of helping hands, strong words, and determination, you will achieve wholeness and wellness. And feel free to PM, AIM, or e-mail me if you ever want to talk. we are all here to support one another. never be afraid to turn and say "i need help".. it is a sign of strenght and courage.. /hug



eta to add positive: i rekindled a friendship yesterday!! and.. obtained the soundtrack for garden state.. mm.. good movie.
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#16 Old 03-28-2005, 02:02 PM
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I'm Kat. I'm 20 and a sophomore in college. I don't like telling my entire story, but here's the abridged version: I was exposed to disordered eating at a young age. My mom also has disordered eating. I was a pre-professional ballet dancer until I quit at age 14 (I would have been a company member in less than a year :\\). I had problems with drugs in early high school, and I also gained a lot of weight when I quit dancing. I used pills to control my emotions, weight, etc. I was diagnosed with acute obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, and borderline personality disorder before I was 15. At 16 I began dating a boy who was one of the people who teased me about my weight when I was younger (he even started calling me "Cow", which all my middle-school classmates, and even teachers, called me all 3 years of middle school). But yeah, it was a bad relationship, but my first serious one. I started restricting what I ate when I was around him, because I didn't want him to think I was still that cow. At home, I would binge, and then purge. We broke up after a year, but my eating habits got even worse.



The summer before I started college, I was diagnosed with ED-NOS, with periods of fasting, periods of binging and purging, and periods of normal eating patterns.



Several months later, while I was a student at RMWC, I was hospitalised and diagnosed with bulimia, purging type, with anorexic tendencies.



And I can't say things have gotten better over the past year and several months since then.



I'm primarily a lurker, because at the moment, recovery isn't really feeling like recovery, just like I'm biding time or something. One day, I'll try recovery, and it will just click. I just know it.
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#17 Old 03-28-2005, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnikaBaanaica View Post

....i have to F**king much to give this world to strave it away!





You can do it Annika!
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#18 Old 03-28-2005, 04:30 PM
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Hey, I'm Allyson and I basically just have food issues, my weight is (right now) pretty on, if a little over, what it should be, but I have a bad habit of restricting, of refusing to eat when I'm upset, or binging when I'm upset. I'm going through a lot of stress right now as I'm planning a move, and my partner is currently very ill, therefore, my eating patterns have been hooched. Everyday, I wake up hoping to make it to the end of the day w/ a good feeling about the choices I made that day. I'm also here to support any of you that need it.
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#19 Old 03-29-2005, 04:28 AM
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First off, from me, *hugz* to everyone.



I don't know if anyone remembers me, I was around for a little while a few months back, in the thick of my ED. My story is basically: I've always had issues with food, whereas before I ate as comfort, then I just refused to eat at all. My weight was always healthy, yet I didn't see that...then the kilos started sliding off. My mum caught it around December last year, and pushed me to the doctors (my weight was severly under...and I'm a very tall person) and then to a psych. I resisted, a lot, at first. But slowly, I started to eat again.



I'm now in 'recovery'. My weight is going up (guess what I discovered? I can eat dinner and not wake up fifty thousand kilos heavier...who woulda thought? lol), I look healthier, I'm getting compliments, I have energy, I can get outta bed or off a chair without falling over or fainting, my cheeks have colour in them, I have a more positive look at myself...I'm getting pretty darn near healthy.



Yes, it's a struggle at times, and a damn hard one at that. Yes, some days I look at the meal I'm supposed to eat and freak out and start to refuse to put it in my mouth. Then I remember these little things: I still don't have my period back (I am a woman damn it, I should have it! and to have it, I need to get healthy again, and for that to happen-I need to eat!), my hair is still thin, not thick like it used to be, I remember how I you used to be able to count my ribs, see bones you shouldn't see....I remember how little energy I had, how aneamic I looked...I remember how often people told me I was way too thin... I remember how I miss my faveourite jeans, 'cause they are too big for me now ... and I realise I don't want to be that person anymore. The way too thin, sad, depressed and unhealthy girl. And I eat it. And ya know what? I enjoy it.... food tastes damnwell fantastic.



I'm far from recovered, but I'm getting there. And I'm proud of myself...it was a hard step to take, eating again...but I took it...just like I know everypone else here can. You're all beautiful, an wonderful, and have so much to contribute to the world...remember that. You all deserve to live, not waste away from lack of food.



*hugz* to you all

~Gabs
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#20 Old 03-29-2005, 08:12 PM
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gabbles, I'm glad to hear it!
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#21 Old 03-30-2005, 10:37 PM
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hello. super abridged version:

i developed serious problems when i was 16... and now i'm finally getting closer to a healthy weight over the past two months because i developed some form of binge eating disorder. i developed osteoporosis (supposedly it's partially reversable since i'm young), encouraging me to eat like crazy at times because i don't want to destroy myself anymore. now on a daily basis i attempt (and fail to) fight off constant thoughts of food, thinking i'm fat, thinking negatively about everything i've eaten, feeling guilty, the whole nine yards...



that's my story
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#22 Old 04-01-2005, 11:51 AM
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hey i dont post much on here but i read what everyone put and i think you are so amazing to write the things you do, i admire you guys alot and think your really strong when you write about the positives umm i dont like 2 say much bout my story but iv bin in hospital,adolesent unit twice and now waiting for a assesment in a ed unit-i'm 14. sorry if this post is wrong.
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#23 Old 04-02-2005, 12:29 AM
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thats not wrong. welcome
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#24 Old 04-02-2005, 08:57 AM
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Of course it's not wrong magical_world



Welcome to the new ones here
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#25 Old 04-02-2005, 09:32 AM
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does anybody else find it disturbing that the ads/links at the bottom of the page are about weight loss?
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#26 Old 04-02-2005, 09:40 AM
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oh gdgd thanks!
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#27 Old 04-02-2005, 10:38 AM
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@raeven - I don't see ads, but that can't be good
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#28 Old 04-02-2005, 12:05 PM
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Raeven- I don't see them either, but I don't know why!

ps.- ignore the ads! everyone knows none of that crap works anyhow.



Welcome to the new people, hello to everyone else....I hope the fact that this thread has been a little slow means everyone is doing great.
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#29 Old 04-02-2005, 12:10 PM
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All the ads I see are for Eating Disorder Therapy, Remuda Ranch, etc.
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#30 Old 04-02-2005, 12:13 PM
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Vegankat, where did you make/find your avatar? Its so cute!! And it kind of looks like you.
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