First off, from me, *hugz* to everyone.
I don't know if anyone remembers me, I was around for a little while a few months back, in the thick of my ED. My story is basically: I've always had issues with food, whereas before I ate as comfort, then I just refused to eat at all. My weight was always healthy, yet I didn't see that...then the kilos started sliding off. My mum caught it around December last year, and pushed me to the doctors (my weight was severly under...and I'm a very tall person) and then to a psych. I resisted, a lot, at first. But slowly, I started to eat again.
I'm now in 'recovery'. My weight is going up (guess what I discovered? I can eat dinner and not wake up fifty thousand kilos heavier...who woulda thought? lol), I look healthier, I'm getting compliments, I have energy, I can get outta bed or off a chair without falling over or fainting, my cheeks have colour in them, I have a more positive look at myself...I'm getting pretty darn near healthy.
Yes, it's a struggle at times, and a damn hard one at that. Yes, some days I look at the meal I'm supposed to eat and freak out and start to refuse to put it in my mouth. Then I remember these little things: I still don't have my period back (I am a woman damn it, I should have it! and to have it, I need to get healthy again, and for that to happen-I need to eat!), my hair is still thin, not thick like it used to be, I remember how I you used to be able to count my ribs, see bones you shouldn't see....I remember how little energy I had, how aneamic I looked...I remember how often people told me I was way too thin... I remember how I miss my faveourite jeans, 'cause they are too big for me now ... and I realise I don't want to be that person anymore. The way too thin, sad, depressed and unhealthy girl. And I eat it. And ya know what? I enjoy it.... food tastes damnwell fantastic.
I'm far from recovered, but I'm getting there. And I'm proud of myself...it was a hard step to take, eating again...but I took it...just like I know everypone else here can. You're all beautiful, an wonderful, and have so much to contribute to the world...remember that. You all deserve to live, not waste away from lack of food.
*hugz* to you all