Eat To Live VI: Eating Disorder Recovery Support - Page 3 - VeggieBoards
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#61 Old 04-06-2005, 08:50 PM
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I have a love-hate relationship with the pro-ana movement. I realise that these people are lonely and looking for support - that's why I frequented them in the first place. It's horrible feeling alone, like a freak. I just wanted to be able to relate to people.



However, I really hate the fact that they have become more like a set of guidelines for how to acquire an eating disorder. In the early days (yeah, I'm relatively old for a still un-recovered anorexic (though I guess I've been more bulimic in the past than anorexic), and was a member of pro-ana sites before their mainstream media coverage), there was no sharing of "tips", no suggestions on what the best way to slowly kill yourself should be. We just wanted friends, and we formed bonds, and never wanted to encourage this behavior - the whole idea was simply that we were "happy" not pursuing recovery, and never did it cross our minds that people actually wanted to be that way.



I still maintain friendships with a lot of my pro-ana friends. Most are in and out of recovery on a monthly basis, but I know a couple who have successfully recovered, and it encourages me to keep working for a better life.
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#62 Old 04-06-2005, 08:53 PM
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welcome!!



pro-ana sites, IMO are not good things. I never read them because from what i have heard ofthem, they would be triggering tome. http://www.something-fishy.org is my recovery website of choice. It's very positive.
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#63 Old 04-07-2005, 12:08 AM
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Yea... once you read a pro-ana web site, it tends to make it blatantly clear how rediculous the whole thing is. I mean... laid out there like that. I don't know how anyone can continue to say "yea, this is a good thing for me."



ETA: I've only seen those nasty sites that do offer "starvation tips" and such. Not to deflate the worth of some of Vegankat's friendships!
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#64 Old 04-07-2005, 01:46 PM
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hey guys. I'm doing good. Caroline and I have been working together to tackle my food issues and today I feel good about food. I have no guarantees about tomorrow, but today...I'm well. Sorry I don't post much, I tend to get to wrapped up in this thread and forget I'm supposed to be getting better. Hugs.
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#65 Old 04-08-2005, 07:36 PM
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I just have a quick question for you everyone...I guess I'd just like to get your opinions on this:



So, I was in a treatment center for about two months and it was really pretty open to vegetarianism and offered a 'vegetarian' option at every meal. I thought that was awesome, since most places are not so accepting. Anyways, upon leaving, patients are allowed to choose a couple of their favorite recipes that they used there to take home. After I got mine and was looking at them, I saw that some of their 'vegetarian' entrees were not so vegetarian after all. In some of them, they used like chicken or beef stock/broth. This made me really angry, but in the same sense I knew that I couldn't have known any better and I WAS focusing on recovering from my eating disorder more than my diet for once. None the less, I have thought about it a couple times since I've gotten home and it still kind of irks me. I was wondering what you guys would say to me writing the dietician a non-accusatory, suggestive letter as a concerned vegetarian, asking if they would consider switching the broth to a vegetable one instead because by using the beef/chicken, the entree really isn't vegetarian at all anymore and they are deceiving many patients. And trust is important, especially when overcoming an eating disorder. It's hard though because I also sort of feel like that shouldn't be a concern of mine because the important thing is to recover from the eating disorder whatever it takes and that's what they are there for...not to cater to our dining wishes. But, if that's their response, then at least they shouldn't label such entrees as vegetarian. It's deceptive advertising. I guess I just want to know if you think I'd be taking this too far and if it really shouldn't be a concern of mine. I also worry with confronting them about this that they will be like, "well that is going a little bit to the extreme (because they were not so supportive of veganism, at least not while in the hospital, because of it's restrictive nature) and we have to be concerned with health before animal rights." Then, basically they would be denying that chicken stock prevents a dish from being vegetarian and view my information as extreme. I guess all they can do is say no and I'll know I tried, right? Well I'd appreciate any of your guys' input! Thanks and sorry this ended up being so long!
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#66 Old 04-09-2005, 12:49 AM
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I don't think that you personally should worry about the fact that you consumed these foods or obsess over it or anything. You didn't know, first of all, and besides that, your health and your body are more important, in my opinion.

That said, I don't see anything wrong with politely explaining your feelings to the director of the program. I would start out by saying that you think its great that they offered a veggie option, but that they should follow the actual definitions of vegetarian eating. At the very least, they do nothing- no harm done, right?

That said, once you write the letter- let it go! You did what you could, so don't torture yourself over it!

Awesome prarie girl! Every good day is a step in the right direction!

Charity- I feel the same. If I ever needed something to make me have a sandwich, it was those websites. I was like, nevermind...this is insane. These poor girls. Make me a sandwich. (this is tongue in cheek, but I mean it....I always thought those websites were pretty foul)
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#67 Old 04-10-2005, 07:38 AM
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This message board is so inspirational to me that I can't even describe it. I'm finally recovering from bulimia after suffering with it for close to 14 years (since I was 12.) After I stopped purging, I gained some weight, which scared the crap out of me. Now, it's a struggle to eat a normal amount of calories because I feel like crap about the weight. What I started doing is eating 6-7 small meals instead of three big ones. When I start feeling uncomfortable about how much I'm eating, I just stop and put the food away. A couple hours later, I'll finish eating what I'd started. So far, this method is working for me, but it's only been a few days.



I'll keep you guys updated.



xo,



Rachel
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#68 Old 04-11-2005, 07:22 PM
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rachel, thats an awesome idea, i get so full sometimes and i feel so fat even though i know i havent really eaten that much. spreading out meals would help get in enough calories without making you feel full all at once
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#69 Old 04-12-2005, 01:56 AM
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ok... so i'm doing really well on the whole convincing myself to eat when i realize i haven't all day thing. but i'm doing terribly on the convincing myself not to immediately "get rid of it" afterwards thing this is driving me crazy. and it brings added guilt because this isn't even my house -- joe's parents have been nice enough to give me a free place to live and access to the food and all, and then i go and flush their money down the toilet, essentially. i'm at my wit's end, as they say. and it makes so little sense because i'm actually more comfortable with my body now than i remember being in a LONG time, and i haven't been particularly depressed lately. i think that's the most maddening thing -- that i can't even figure out a reason for it. at least before i could sit down and think afterwards "okay, this happened because of this and that, let's find a better way to deal with it" and i can't even do that right now.



*sigh*



positive: i finally got some freaking sleep today.
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#70 Old 04-13-2005, 11:40 PM
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Hi. I haven't posted here before, but I seriously need some advice. As background...my family is all screwed up with weight issues. As kids (especially the girls) we were discouraged from doing any sports because they "took time away from our studies." My dad is obese and has been as long as I can remember, and my mom obsesses (quietly and out-loud) about weight gain, as does her mother. I've had problems with disordered (restrictive) eating, but I've never had a serious ED. My younger brother was *seriously* restrictive, to the point of passing out in class and having an ambulance called to the high school because he "just didn't eat."



The reason I'm posting right now is that I'm really concerned about my younger sister. She's been sick for about a year and a half with some undiagnosed illness. Unfortunately, her illness has involved *a lot* of throwing up. She was just diagnosed with acid reflux disease, and in the last month she's lost probably ** pounds. (I know I'm not supposed to use numbers; it's in the low ** range, I'd guess). She looks much thinner--- too thin, too quickly. I'm concerned that she may be bulemic. We're both at University (she's an undergrad; i'm a grad student). Our school ranks near the top for number of women with eating disorders in the USA. Women face a TON of pressure to be cute, thin and perky at any cost.



So my question is, what do I do? It seems improbable that, after a year of being sick, my sister's weight would drop so precipitously. She has always been a little on the heavy side (her BMI, pre-weight drop was, I believe, just barely over the "healthy" range), which I know bothers her a lot. I'm scared of saying anything wrong because I've always been the "skinnier sister," and I don't want her to get mad.



Any advice?
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#71 Old 04-13-2005, 11:59 PM
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Hey guys. I'm doing the thing.



The "I don't want my tummy to stick out" thing.



I know, and you know, I needs to eat some more. But I don't want to look like a balloon around my waist.



Tell me all that advice I've told you guys over the years? About how I can't whither away just cos I don't like how my belly looks?



::bad, bad:: I want to smack my wrist. I realize this is not healthy thinking. But like, I want to just live off of muffins and energy bars, because they don't make me bloated.
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#72 Old 04-14-2005, 12:04 AM
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Jen - Don't try to make it rational. It isn't rational.



Have cereal.

#1. Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops are damn fun to eat. They're healthy (whole grain now and fortified.) They aren't massively loaded in guilty calories, but they're a good start to the day.

#2. They get you going right. So you properly process hunger through the day.



When I'm eating breakfast cereal daily, I feel straight.
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#73 Old 04-14-2005, 02:29 AM
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how about generic cocoa puffs? it seems to be all we have
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#74 Old 04-14-2005, 08:38 AM
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i've been doing....bad...lately. yesterday i lost count of how many times I purged. it was terrible. I've been purging almost every day and feeling like I'm eating way way way too much, I've gained weight and I'm so unhappy about it, because I KNOW this is not my normal size. I know i'm not supposed to weigh what I do now, its more than i weighed pre-ed i think . i dont know my weight and I don't want to. but i want to lose it. my clothes dont fit. i feel terrible.

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#75 Old 04-15-2005, 07:57 PM
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I've been running lately, doing the 6-7 small meals thing, and I still feel the need to purge, but I've resisted. When I feel really bad about what I've eaten, I go jogging. I understand that exercising excessively can be another kind of eating disorder, but I hate jogging so much that I don't think that will be a problem! I just need another outlet, another way to feel in control of my ed.



The other day, after a filling meal at a restaurant with my family, I felt the need to purge so intensely that I left the house. I went for a walk around the block, cleared my head, thought seriously about why I really wanted to purge. I put some distance between myself and my problem, returned home after 15-20 minutes and was able to resist purging. Maybe that's something to try? Putting physical distance between you and the bathroom, or the source of your stress (in my case, my family). Just an idea. I don't know. It really is a daily battle, hour to hour, minute to minute. We'll beat this thing, though! We all will.



Remember, we're compassionate enough to give up meat; we're strong enough to beat this disease.
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#76 Old 04-15-2005, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Morticia View Post


So my question is, what do I do? It seems improbable that, after a year of being sick, my sister's weight would drop so precipitously. She has always been a little on the heavy side (her BMI, pre-weight drop was, I believe, just barely over the "healthy" range), which I know bothers her a lot. I'm scared of saying anything wrong because I've always been the "skinnier sister," and I don't want her to get mad.



Any advice?



Who cares if she gets mad. Better mad then dead.



Say it. Skinny or fat sister, it doesn't matter. Straight up, say something to her. She may deny it, but she'll know you're watching her. She'll know her secret it out. If it isn't that, chances are you'll get out of her what the issue is.



Good luck. It takes a lot of guts to deal with it, but eating disorders survive because people are afraid of them.
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#77 Old 04-15-2005, 10:21 PM
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Hugs to all of you!



Keep trying and don't give up hope, tomorrow is a brand new day. A fresh start in life. Make it worth living
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#78 Old 04-15-2005, 10:44 PM
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i hate to admit it, but i'm in charity's boat this week.. /sigh.
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#79 Old 04-16-2005, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by CharityAJO View Post

Hey guys. I'm doing the thing.



The "I don't want my tummy to stick out" thing.



I know, and you know, I needs to eat some more. But I don't want to look like a balloon around my waist.



Tell me all that advice I've told you guys over the years? About how I can't whither away just cos I don't like how my belly looks?



::bad, bad:: I want to smack my wrist. I realize this is not healthy thinking. But like, I want to just live off of muffins and energy bars, because they don't make me bloated.

hey i do that too, but these days i haven't let it bother me, because over the past year, i have been trying to gain weight, and each time i get that belly, but i learned that if u just ignore and keep going, it will eventually flatten out. try to remember that it is just bloat, not fat
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#80 Old 04-16-2005, 02:09 PM
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Who cares if she gets mad. Better mad then dead.



Say it. Skinny or fat sister, it doesn't matter. Straight up, say something to her. She may deny it, but she'll know you're watching her. She'll know her secret it out. If it isn't that, chances are you'll get out of her what the issue is.



Good luck. It takes a lot of guts to deal with it, but eating disorders survive because people are afraid of them.





Here's the thing...I honestly don't know if she knows what she is doing. It seems like she's using her illness as a reason to throw up, but I seriously doubt she knows what she is doing. How do you say "I think you're bulemic but you don't know it?"



If I should just approach her that bluntly, then I can do that. I just don't want her to feel like she can't talk to me. Our family is screwed up enough that I want to continue to be a "safe" person for her to talk to.



On a side note, her rapid weight loss is seriously triggering my not-so-latent disordered eating tendencies. I don't know how to help her without getting totally caught up in it again.
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#81 Old 04-16-2005, 02:35 PM
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Here's the thing...I honestly don't know if she knows what she is doing. It seems like she's using her illness as a reason to throw up, but I seriously doubt she knows what she is doing. How do you say "I think you're bulemic but you don't know it?"



But that's how it usually starts. I remember when I was in the hospital, and the doctor said, "You're bulimic", and I was seriously in shock. I denied it. I didn't believe it. Seriously. I was blaming my constant throwing up on my being sick, even though I wasn't sick anymore, and I was fully aware that I had disordered eating. I just didn't want to accept that I had a diagnosable condition, that the vomiting was caused by myself (well, I sort of knew that, but I kept feeling like I had to make myself throw up for me to feel any better). It's really easy for bulimics to be in denial, because they can appear so normal they fool even themselves.





If it was my sister (I only have brothers ), I would say something. Her life is worth more than preserving a "safe" relationship. And as far as your own ED, well, if that's all it takes to trigger it, anything else would, too. It's something you need to address yourself, rather than avoiding it.
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#82 Old 04-16-2005, 03:18 PM
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i suck.



no wait, i don't suck, this disorder ****ing sucks.
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#83 Old 04-16-2005, 05:05 PM
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no wait, i don't suck, this disorder ****ing sucks.







that's right, Mayu
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#84 Old 04-16-2005, 05:07 PM
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^^^ that looks self-destructive.
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#85 Old 04-16-2005, 06:04 PM
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it made me giggle



aza!
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#86 Old 04-16-2005, 06:41 PM
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Rock on Mayuko! (I like saying your name out loud over and over)



How are things goin' girl?
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#87 Old 04-16-2005, 06:45 PM
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Rock on Mayuko! (I like saying your name out loud over and over)



How are things goin' girl?



hours of entertainment



things are going pretty well, actually. the stupid ed thing is for once the only thing getting me down *kicks it in the head*
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#88 Old 04-16-2005, 08:02 PM
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keep kicking it in the head

I think that it is great that you recognize that this is an ED that sucks, not you. because you don't suck. you ***king Rox0rs!!!
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#89 Old 04-16-2005, 09:10 PM
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But that's how it usually starts. I remember when I was in the hospital, and the doctor said, "You're bulimic", and I was seriously in shock. I denied it. I didn't believe it. Seriously. I was blaming my constant throwing up on my being sick, even though I wasn't sick anymore, and I was fully aware that I had disordered eating. I just didn't want to accept that I had a diagnosable condition, that the vomiting was caused by myself (well, I sort of knew that, but I kept feeling like I had to make myself throw up for me to feel any better). It's really easy for bulimics to be in denial, because they can appear so normal they fool even themselves.



I guess I never realized someone could be bulemic without knowing it. That may sound stupid, but I've never known anybody IRL that has bulemia. Thanks for your input; I'll try to talk to her. I agree that it's more important to get the issue out in the open then to worry about making her mad.
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#90 Old 04-17-2005, 03:27 AM
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Okay...someone, anyone, beat me over the damn head. I was doing so goddamn well....and now I haven't eaten in two days.



Shoot me. Hit me. Smack me. Wake me up. I can't seem to do it to myself.



Wait, I lie...I had some white chocolate yesterday that someone bought me, and stared at me with an 'I know you've suffered with an ED before, and this is a challenge' look, so I ate it...and drove myself mad with guilt after it. I mean what the hell?! It was a little bit of choc! It shouldn't be a big deal. And then, since I turned down dinner, and got my mum suspicous (I'm watched like a hawk when it come to food) she gave me a small glass of soymilk, which I made myself drink half of...and now this morning I 'faked' breakfast...fake dirty dishes. Did it with lunch, and a snack too.



What am I doing? It's so stupid. I HAVE to eat. I've learnt this, my period still isnt back, if I want it to come back, I need to eat properly, like I worked so damn at making myself before. I want my ahir to grow back as thick as before. I don't want to go through what I've gone through the past six months all over again. Why am I having this setback!?



Hit me. Please?

*hugz*

~Gabs

PS Positive: My mum and I had bonding time today lol
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