Undereating and nutrient deficency? - Page 2 - VeggieBoards
Forum Jump: 
 47Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 Old 01-29-2016, 03:31 PM
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by no whey jose View Post
Why doesn't his mom let you cook? Does she realize that you're hardly eating? I can't understand your boyfriend not sharing his food with you. Why doesn't he just cook more food so there's enough for you both? He just eats his meal in front of you while you go hungry? Are you sure you're in a healthy environment?
He does share if he has something like fries or tacos where he can easily make more. Usually he has Clif bars, bagels, hummus on bread, and juice which are all things that I can't eat because they add expense to the grocery bill. His parents don't want me to be costing them extra money. I'm planning on getting an apartment as soon as I'm able to afford one so that I have more freedom.
Fruitemma is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 Old 01-29-2016, 03:31 PM
Veggie Regular
 
odizzido's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 727
Sorry Fruitemma but I have to agree with no whey jose...

edit------
Sorry didn't see your new posts. I dunno. I don't know your situation or anything. I think I will just shut up about it.

Last edited by odizzido; 01-29-2016 at 03:36 PM.
odizzido is offline  
#33 Old 01-29-2016, 03:39 PM
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spudulika View Post
That makes no sense to me. I regularly cook meals that could feed six or eight in one go, as do many people every day of the week. There is no upper limit in terms of calories when it comes to cooking a meal and it takes no more effort or fuel, other than dealing with more volume (where it may help to have your partner do some chopping).

Have you ever fully discussed any of these issues regarding the causes of your restricted diet and consequent weight-loss with your BF or your MIL?

How much of the opposition you feel to you eating properly in your BF family's home is clearly and openly expressed by them and how much is just suggested or implied?
My boyfriend is concerned with my weight, but he is also concerned with his own weight because he is 5'10 1/2 and about 120lbs. His mom is also concerned with his weight, but she thinks that I eat enough because I'm a female and don't need to eat as often as he does.
Fruitemma is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#34 Old 01-29-2016, 03:44 PM
Super Moderator
 
no whey jose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: West Sussex, UK
Posts: 2,671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitemma View Post
It's not restrictive or strict actually. She encourages people to eat as much as they want, it's their own fault if they only eat fruit. You can see the proof just by looking at her that her diet is the best for optimum health. She encourages veganism and feeling good, not appearance so I'd have to disagree with you.
That's not something you can tell just by looking. She's thin-- that's all we know. We can't see what's happening inside of her body or even be sure that she really eats the way she says she does.

I've seen videos where she shames women who are bigger than her, encourages her followers to try for a thigh gap, and claims that it's healthy for a woman's period to stop when she goes vegan. It's worrisome. I apologize if you look up to her, but please know that there are other ways to live a healthy vegan life. If Freelee's diet really does make you feel good, go for it-- but if you're suffering (and it sounds like you are) then you should consider eating a wider variety of foods, including fats, at least until you gain some weight and curb your hair loss.

Your boyfriend's parents don't treat you very well. I kinda want to sit his mom down and have a firm chat. 😡
Thalassa4 likes this.

Last edited by no whey jose; 01-29-2016 at 03:47 PM.
no whey jose is offline  
#35 Old 01-29-2016, 03:48 PM
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by no whey jose View Post
That's not something you can tell just by looking. She's thin-- that's all we know. We can't see what's happening inside of her body or even be sure that she really eats the way she says she does.

I've seen videos where she shames women who are bigger than her, encourages her followers to try for a thigh gap, and claims that it's healthy for a woman's period to stop when she goes vegan. It's worrisome. I apologize if you look up to her, but please know that there are other ways to live a healthy vegan life. If Freelee's diet really does make you feel good, go for it-- but if you're suffering (and it sounds like you are) then you should consider eating a wider variety of foods, including fats, at least until you gain some weight and curb your hair loss.
I understand where you're coming from due to her but way of spreading veganism, but before moving in with my boyfriend's parents I felt better than I ever have and was completely happy with my body. However, I was eating at least 2,500 calories per day and now I'm eating half of that. The problem isn't Freelee's diet, it's that people don't consume enough calories. I still believe that if you're overweight then you're not totally healthy, but to each their own.
It's sort of a European thing. The men are always first priority and since he is her son she expects me to put his needs before my own. Which is understandable, but both of us have needs.
Fruitemma is offline  
#36 Old 01-29-2016, 03:50 PM
Veggie Regular
 
Spudulika's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,099
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitemma View Post
Her issue is using too much gas so she wants to limit the cooking. That's why she's okay with cooking for everyone, but not separately.
Well, I doubt this will be a popular opinion here. But knowing what it's like to live on a very low income and with family members who stayed home all day who didn't contribute anything to the household income I can understand her strictness. I suspect she doesn't have much time for your vegan low-fat high-carb diet, which she probably interprets as 'pernickity' and also the source of your ill health - if you refuse to eat the food she cooks for the rest of the family.

I do think from the sound of it, that your BF is selfish. It's complete nonsense that he can't cook for you at the same time as himself, especially as he's quite aware of your low weight and ill health. I'd be concerned about the future of your relationship if that remains his attitude.

Please get some fats down you. Especially before you start work. Good luck.
Spudulika is offline  
#37 Old 01-29-2016, 04:07 PM
Super Moderator
 
no whey jose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: West Sussex, UK
Posts: 2,671
I agree with Spud. You should have a talk with your boyfriend about all of this. I don't care what his family thinks-- your needs are just as important as his, and he needs to start caring about your wellbeing. If he only has one bagel, he should offer you half his bagel because that's what loved ones do. If money is that much of an issue, maybe he should buy cheaper food that he can share with you, like pasta and beans. I wish I could make you something to eat right now, I really do. Please let us know how you make out.
no whey jose is offline  
#38 Old 01-29-2016, 07:46 PM
Newbie
 
Ember Ruby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: England
Posts: 65
As no whey jose has said, you really need to talk to your boyfriend and his family about this. You are both unhealthily underweight. Just to give you an idea, I am 15 years old, 5'5'', and I weigh 124 pounds. It's kind of worrying that your boyfriend is 5'10'' and weighs less than me, especially considering the fact I am a girl with a fairly slim build.

You don't necessarily have to cook in order to get enough calories. You can add things like nuts, canned beans, ground flaxseed, hummus, and avocado to wraps and salads (bagged salad, or simply whole heads of lettuce, are not very expensive, and a small amount goes a long way. You may also want to drizzle some olive oil on top of your salads). Peanut butter on bread is quick and simple, too. You can even make some things in the microwave, which is cheaper than using gas.

As for feeling bloated - let me just start off by saying, before I became vegetarian I never ate very well and was pretty underweight. I lost a load of weight from not eating much due to flu, and did not gain the weight back until I improved my eating habits about a year or so later. When I first lost the weight, I couldn't eat very much. Your stomach's capacity decreases when you hardly eat anything, and increases when you start eating more. That would explain the bloatedness from eating a meal that is larger than one you would normally eat. Keep at it, you will stop feeling bloated.

I wish you the best, being underweight is not pleasant!
no whey jose and Thalassa4 like this.

Last edited by Ember Ruby; 01-29-2016 at 07:59 PM.
Ember Ruby is offline  
#39 Old 02-23-2016, 05:45 PM
Newbie
 
Ember Ruby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: England
Posts: 65
How's it going? Any updates?
Ember Ruby is offline  
#40 Old 02-23-2016, 08:03 PM
Veggie Recycler
 
Thalassa4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 556
If you go to a food bank, you can get your own food. You may qualify for emergency SNAP if you live in the US as well. Even panhandling could produce enough so you can get some peanut butter, some flax seeds, some soy milk, some olive oil or vegan margarine (there are vegan margarines that are inexpensive that have no trans fat, even if it's not "perfect" you need some plant fat).
Thalassa4 is offline  
#41 Old 02-23-2016, 08:05 PM
Veggie Recycler
 
Thalassa4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 556
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitemma View Post
He does share if he has something like fries or tacos where he can easily make more. Usually he has Clif bars, bagels, hummus on bread, and juice which are all things that I can't eat because they add expense to the grocery bill. His parents don't want me to be costing them extra money. I'm planning on getting an apartment as soon as I'm able to afford one so that I have more freedom.

Your man sounds very selfish. You could do better, someone who would budget out healthy vegan foods you could BOTH eat and share. Beans, quinoa, oil or margerine, oatmeal, soy milk, some frozen vegetables. ..I'm sorry but he's not being very loving.
Thalassa4 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the VeggieBoards forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off