Need some advice regarding physical fitness for my husband - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 03-25-2009, 11:49 AM
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My husband has been going to the gym 5 days a week for the last 3 months. He does a combination of weight training and swimming. He's trying to lose weight and become more fit, but isn't succeeding so far. And I feel bad for him, but it really does not seem like he's going about things properly.



Here's basically what he does. He doesn't eat breakfast, he might have something sweet at work, like cookies, cakes, whatever if there's some in the snack room. Otherwise he eats nothing until lunchtime. But before going to lunch he goes to work out. So he's going half the day with either no food or snacking on something unhealthy and sugary, and then goes to work out. After he works out he goes to lunch at either burger king, taco bell, wendy's or this independent fast food italian place. He's not eating half the day, he works out, then goes and eats a really bad lunch. He does this every work day. Then he eats nothing until dinner time. I always cook healthy for dinner since I know he eats bad away from home and always have a side salad as well. What I find really weird is that he says he likes to eat healthy and he is very supportive of eating healthy around me, but it's like when he's on his own he just goes for the quickest options to eat. I've suggested taking lunch to work because he has a fridge and a microwave, but he never does.



He doesn't need to lose weight either, he's 5'10 with a 32 inch waist. The problem is that he has really no muscle tone. It seems like he thinks he just needs to lose the fat and he'll just become muscular overnight. When he does weight training he also just does upper body, no abdominals or lower body. So in the 3 months that he's been working out and do cardio, he looks the same. Not even his arms are in any better shape.



Does anyone know of any veg*n articles that I could show him to help him understand what he needs to be doing if he wants to see any benefits from working out, as far as appearances go? I'm no physical expert or anything, but I would assume that not eating very much and then having a good portion of your diet consist of bad foods isn't going to help in losing fat and gaining muscle. I am really glad to see him starting to want to do things that benefit him health-wise, but he still doesn't seem to get the eating/diet part of it. (I guess that's obvious with the amount of fast food he eats still.) And I'm thinking if I show him some articles, it might help him understand it better. But since I don't know much about physical fitness I don't even have any idea of what to google for and what is correct and what isn't. Last thing I want to do is show him stuff that is incorrect.



Thanks in advance!



BTW, I'm certainly not trying to push anything on him, and I hope I'm not giving that impression with this post. I just want to know that he has the information available to make his decisions with, if I show him stuff that could help him understand better what he needs to do, and he still continues with his current thing, then that's his choice. I just want him to have information that could help him out because he seems to be getting discouraged.

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#2 Old 03-25-2009, 12:09 PM
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sounds like he's doing everything wrong. how does he expect to get the best from his workout with no energy? then puts bad food into his body. he should probably see a trainer at your gym. that would help him get a focused workout and ensure that he's doing the exercises properly. even if its only for one session, at least he will have a workout developed that he could follow.



here's a website that might be helpful: http://www.veganbodybuilding.com

http://www.butikiteas.com
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#3 Old 03-25-2009, 02:18 PM
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I will definitely suggest seeing a trainer, I hadn't even thought about that. And thanks for that website, I am definitely going to do some reading over there and pass it along to him.

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#4 Old 03-25-2009, 04:11 PM
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Wow, it does sound like a recipe for failure.



I hope he's open minded enough to look at changing his habits.

3 months of no sucess will probably help him with that.



Some people really don't realise just how important diet is when they are trying to change their bodies... I worked out for months not really seeing any discernable change in my body shape when I was still eating lots of fast food and crap (well, why not? I was working off the calories, hehe).



Then, after actually starting to eat healthier, and listen to my body, I was able to lose weight without even going to the gym, but just having a more active lifestyle.



Hope he can get the results he's looking for!

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#5 Old 03-26-2009, 09:55 AM
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http://www.fitday.com/ and http://www.sparkpeople.com/ are both good comprehensive sites for getting on track with diet and weight loss, highly recommend he join one.



often when people start working out they get lost b/c they don't set achievable goals or if they do they don't know how to achieve them, seems like your hubby has fallen into this trap.



a trainer would be a very valuable investment, craigslist.org is a neat place to look for personal trainers and even exercise mentors, or a work out buddy.



if you have the time, maybe its a good idea to pack his lunch for him to bring to work. you guys will save $ from him not eating fast food everyday and he will feel better and have more effective workouts. when my bf worked away from home, i enjoyed packing his lunch, its fun to leave little extra treats and love notes for him.
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#6 Old 03-26-2009, 10:43 AM
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My husband used to eat lunches like that. After years of trying to get him to change, I took his debit card and started making his lunches for him. He complained for the first week or so but once he got used to it he found he preferred taking a lunch. And your husband has more flexibility since he has a microwave. My husband is a delivery man so I had to come up with things that he can eat in the truck.



Is it a pain packing his lunch every morning? Yes! But the results have been worth it and I'm used to it now so it doesn't feel like so much of a burden.
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#7 Old 03-27-2009, 10:51 PM
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I use fitday.com myself, and I have not been able to get him to use it.



I have tried packing his lunches, but he comes up with excuse after excuse. Or he'll conveniently "forget" them at home. So I started putting sticky notes at the door to remind him in the morning. Then he'd bring the container home 2 days later and hadn't even touched it. He'd claim that he "forgot" he'd taken it to work, or he'd come up with an excuse of that a co-worker took him to lunch and he "forgot" the lunch he'd brought in with him and went with his co-worker. Etc etc etc. I gave up after two weeks of it because it was just wasting food. I'm not willing to go far enough to take away his debit card because I figure he's his own person, he can make his own decisions for himself.



I did email him the vegan body building forum link and I suggested seeing a trainer. So we'll see if he actually does any reading or sees about seeing a trainer.

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#8 Old 03-28-2009, 03:06 AM
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Diet is very important. Workout is very important. Both go hand in hand.



From what you're saying in the post, he doesn't seem to have neither.

building muscle needs sufficient calories.. good fats, carbs and protein.



5 days a week at the gym sounds high in quantity, but if he's just doing upper body, it's not quality.



I think the fact he's not working lower body is severely hindering his progress.



Squats and Deadlifts target lower body and are a fundamental for muscle building.

- they work the major muscle groups

- they work multiple auxiliary muscle groups

- as a result of such physical stress, testosterone levels are elevated by doing these.



veganbodybuilding.com should help him out a lot
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#9 Old 04-01-2009, 07:22 AM
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I sent him the veganbodybuilding.com link. And also suggested seeing a trainer, and also pointed out that not working out his lower body he's not helping himself. And brought up his diet again, but like usual all I get in response was like "yeah I know... uh huh..." etc. So we'll see if he listens or not. I did get him to drink a smoothie yesterday morning before work, I was floored when he said ok to it.

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#10 Old 04-01-2009, 10:11 AM
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good luck. i hope he decides to approach things differently.

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#11 Old 04-01-2009, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaMorte3 View Post

And brought up his diet again, but like usual all I get in response was like "yeah I know... uh huh..." etc. So we'll see if he listens or not. I did get him to drink a smoothie yesterday morning before work, I was floored when he said ok to it.



is your hubbie doing this just to please you or maybe the idea of having muscles appeals to his ego but he doesnt really wanna put in the effort to get them ?? cuz he doesnt sound too motivated to me. it takes a lot of hard work & commitment to achieve a hard, muscular body and your husband doesnt sound like hes that into it. usually people who are motivated show an interest in changing their habits and learning about health and fitness, but this kinda sounds like its all a bit too much effort for the poor guy maybe some reverse psychology could work as a last resort ?? is he the kind of person who responds positively to being told by somebody that he wont be able to do something cuz he "just doesnt have what it takes" ?? if he is, then maybe you could start feigning a loss of interest in his diet & fitness and tell him its all a waste of time cuz he doesnt have the commitment !! it might get to his ego and he will find himself having to prove you wrong. lol

other than that ive got nuthin. some days i have a hard time motivating myself and i do have an interest in it. heh.
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#12 Old 04-03-2009, 06:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kali View Post

is your hubbie doing this just to please you or maybe the idea of having muscles appeals to his ego but he doesnt really wanna put in the effort to get them ?? cuz he doesnt sound too motivated to me. it takes a lot of hard work & commitment to achieve a hard, muscular body and your husband doesnt sound like hes that into it. usually people who are motivated show an interest in changing their habits and learning about health and fitness, but this kinda sounds like its all a bit too much effort for the poor guy maybe some reverse psychology could work as a last resort ?? is he the kind of person who responds positively to being told by somebody that he wont be able to do something cuz he "just doesnt have what it takes" ?? if he is, then maybe you could start feigning a loss of interest in his diet & fitness and tell him its all a waste of time cuz he doesnt have the commitment !! it might get to his ego and he will find himself having to prove you wrong. lol

other than that ive got nuthin. some days i have a hard time motivating myself and i do have an interest in it. heh.





yeah I agree.

He doesn't seem to be motivated or taking it seriously for that matter.



BellaMorte, the real question is... is he actually interested in the gym and building strength, muscle etc.? or is he just doing this because he feels obligated to do so?
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#13 Old 04-03-2009, 11:18 AM
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I don't know, he's made comments a few times saying that he wants to look good for me, which I tell him that he already does, which is completely true. I don't know where he gets the idea that I don't think he looks good, I compliment him quite often and it's always truthful, he knows I'm definitely not someone to lie. Anytime he makes that comment I also tell him that dude I have no room to talk since I'm trying to lose 35lbs, so there is absolutely no way I'd comment on someone else even if they did need to lose weight or get in shape, because I have no room to talk. I've been working out for a while myself, and I have seen benefits from it, and I don't know if maybe because of that he thinks he has to also get more in shape or what.



I know at work they are really pushing people to get more fit, but it's mainly because there's a lot of overweight people (he's in the military), so they are cracking down pretty hard. But again, he doesn't even need to worry about that because he passes his physical tests with flying colors and he always maxes out the points on the PT tests as far as waist size and all that goes as well. He knows the crack down is about the people who don't work out and are overweight, and he knows he's not overweight, but yet he seems to obsess about it. It seems like he takes it personally himself, too.



No, using reverse psychology doesn't work for him, he always just gets the whatever screw you type attitude when people do that to him lol.

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#14 Old 04-11-2009, 09:26 AM
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Muscles are essentially composed of stored protein. Setting aside what workouts he's doing... even if his workouts were great, if he's eating crap, there will be very little change in his physique.
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