Sexual Assault... - VeggieBoards
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#1 Old 07-18-2006, 11:33 PM
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I didn't know where to post this... I felt most comfortable posting it here... I searched online for message boards, but the ones I found were either for much more serious situations, or hadn't had posts in months...and I just need some quick advice...

Anyway, I don't want to get into all the details... but Sunday a stranger walked up to me and did some stuff to me (btw-not rape,-no genital on genital contact-however there was hand in genital contact) Well, once the shock of it wore away(lasted maybe 15-20 seconds), I pushed him away from me and ran to my brothers car, told my bro what happened, he jumped outta the car, the guy was long gone...

Ok, two questions: One-after I told my friend about it, she told me to go get tested just to be sure (as me and her discussed, he could've had an open wound on his hand therefore possibly spreading an STD) That's something I'd not even thought about until she said that tonight, is that really possible? It sounds logical, but maybe I'm just in denial...(well I know if he had a fresh wound on his finger that was bleeding/or had just ejaculated on his hand that it's at least a possibility)

Second: Please don't give me any heat on this-I know I should've started kicking his ass, pinned him down, yelled for my bro and called the cops-but I didn't, I can't get over that. W/what happened, I only saw his face for a brief second, plus it was dark out, so pretty much all I know is race and height, but I wanted to call someone and let them know where it happened so they could be aware of it, I just don't know who to call, and I want to remain anonymous. Should I call the non-emergency police line and tell them? I'm just not sure. Again, I can't stop beating myself up over not hurting him and getting the cops there... w/how agressive he was, and just what he did, it seems pretty obvious it's not the first time he's done something like that, and it sickens me knowing he's still out there and could be doing much worse to others-possibly even little girls. Since I didn't do anything at the time, I want to at least do what I can, even if it really won't help anything. I know it's too late to prevent him from doing anything else, but maybe there's been other reports in that area and it could help getting police to watch the area more closely.. I dunno...

Sorry for the long rant, I'm just really icked out and pissed off at myself right now. Any advice would be so appreciated. Thanks for listening.
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#2 Old 07-19-2006, 07:18 AM
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Just wanted to say that you shouldn't be mad at yourself. You are safe now and that is the most important thing.

I would definately call the police staion for your area and tell them. Just state upfront that you want to remain anonymos (sp?) and they shoudl respect that.

Also, give your doctor a call. If nothing else you can put your mind at ease that nothing was contracted. It will be one less thing that you will have to think about.

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#3 Old 07-19-2006, 10:01 PM
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please don't beat yourself up for being stunned. it is a really normal reaction for a normal person to not believe that something so outrageous is happening to them. freezing is normal. the best thing you can do for yourself and for others is to report what happened to the police and maybe call a rape crisis center in your phone book (even though you weren't raped you were assaulted). they might be able to give you some advice on what to do too. good luck!
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#4 Old 07-19-2006, 10:58 PM
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Savannah is absolutely 100% right. We always hear about the "flight or fight" response to danger - but it's equally common for people to freeze up during a traumatic event. And it's an instinctive, involuntary, PHYSIOLOGICAL response. It's not your fault. I commend you for being able to shake it off so quickly and get away. The important thing is that you were able to stop this sexual assault and keep yourself and your body safe.

I totally hear you about wanting to report, even though it may seem that your time has passed. I would still go ahead and make a report. It may help you to feel like you've done something, and like you said, it might also add new info to an existing report.

You've been through an ordeal, and I'm really sorry this happened to you. You might feel better as time passes, but if you're still having trouble, visiting a rape crisis center might be a good idea. Don't get the idea that because you weren't "raped" you don't belong there - these are safe places for anyone needing to talk about a sexual assault, of any kind and no matter how long ago it happened.

That said, this is a time for you to take care of yourself. Save that anger for your attacker, where it belongs.
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#5 Old 07-20-2006, 03:27 AM
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Ditto to what the others said about not taking heat yourself for this. There is absolutely no way in which you were responsible here.

Definitely call the police. As you mentioned, there may be other assaults that have been reported that are simliar to yours (or some in the future )

Re: the STD thing. No doubt here that you should go and get a exam/tests. We're not talking about a normal, rational person who committed this have no idea of knowing what was on his hands, etc. Chances are, you're okay physically, but if there are any problems, you want to find out sooner rather than later.

The ones I pity are the ones who never stick out their neck for something they believe, never know the taste of moral struggle, and never have the thrill of victory. - Jonathan Kozol
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#6 Old 07-29-2006, 08:24 PM
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I'm so sorry that happened to you. As mentioned before please don't feel bad about freezing, it's a natural reaction.

You might want to talk to your doctor, just to be safe, plus he/she might be able to direct you to someone to talk to about it if you feel you need to. And you should definately report it, you never know what other information they might have.
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#7 Old 07-30-2006, 05:25 AM
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^^ What everyone else said.

I'm really sorry that you went through something like that.
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#8 Old 08-01-2006, 08:08 PM
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definately report it! they at least will know to keep someone patrolling the area, if he tries to do it to someone else they might be close enough to catch him. they can't watch out for him if they don't know about it.

and don't worry about not being able to hurt him or hold him down or whatever. if you'd tried he might have pulled a knife or gun! the best thing you can do in a situation like that is just to get away and call the police from a safe place.

almost 2 years ago a teenager exposed himself to me walking home from work. he never touched me and didn't make a move towards me, but i felt it was still sexual assault. mostly i was freaked out that it happened 2 doors down from my house so he know knew where i lived when i ran inside. so i locked the door, turned on every light in the house and called the cops. they came right away. first they drove up and down my street to see if he was still in the area and when they didn't find him they came to the door and asked for details and a description.

in both of our cases...if he does it to others and they report him, they can narrow down an area and get more and more details about his appearance. if nobody else reports it, he'll just keep getting away with it until he goes too far and someone gets hurt or killed.

i'm sorry you had that happen to you

oh and yeah it wouldn't hurt to get checked out by a doctor just in case.

I'm singin' here to get rid of fear
Hope it disappears right here with the rain
But I know life is pain, not like a fairytale
Meaningless to pray, so just goin' on my way
~Miyavi "Torture"
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#9 Old 08-08-2006, 07:00 AM
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You could call the police, it would be good for them to keep an eye out at the place where the assault took place, because he may return there. Talk to someone about what happend to, don't think that it's not bad enough to talk to people or whatever, sexual assault is always wrong and always bad, and if you seek help and find a noncaring person to talk to, then you need to look for help in a different place. Maybe talk to your brother, as he allready knows, but also seek out someone who has been assaulted as well, as they can understand.

so sorry for what happend. Wish I could make it all better
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#10 Old 08-14-2006, 04:15 AM
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Thats horrible! Someone once exposed himself to me (think he was drunk or something) in the middle of town with many people present, although me and my friend were the only ones who saw him..I told my mum when I got home and she called the police but there was nothing they could do. When it happened me and my friend froze, and then ran for our lives (he didnt follow us though)

Anyway, I hope you will be okay!
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