Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Melbourne, Australia. A haven of a country! But my heart is where my earliest years were spent in California and Canada as well...
Heh. I love that hat! And I love to wear many hats also. Life is interesting when you wear many hats.
But not interesting when it's flooded with boring questions. Hormones are totally new to me so... meh.
And something is up with them today! This week, really. Or not. It's not hormones. It feels so deeply biological but I'm pretty sure it's just hitting a mental breakingpoint...
I'm a pretty calm human but yesterday was on absolute knifesedge and burst into tears randomly several times over not small things but NO things. Just driving along?!
This morning I logged into Facebook to message faraway-partner (back in several days. Wheeeee!) and the 'news' bar had this huge thing about infertility and how much responsibility actually rests with lifestyle etc. and how much it destroys couples and all sorts of negative rubbish I usually roll my eyes at but cue tears again. Helpful, really. Made me notice how seriously I'm taking everything and how much it's stolen my brain. So I quit. In my head. Particularly doing all the little things GPs and Naturopaths and research suggest are most helpful because what is MOST helpful is chilling the frick out, realising I only got cycles back this year anyway and my body has been through a lot the last 2 decades, but also just eating heaps and (the real hard one) walking for an hour a day tops. I honestly think that would make a difference and that there's something to the fact that I just can't not. It's the FIRST THING every wise educated human has said to temporarily cut back on but the last thing I've been willing to change. Today is day 1. An hour of hiking through the hills that surround my place is plenty and beautiful and more is not necessary right now. I can do this. Actually, I can't not do this. For some reason, yesterday I could barely move. I had to run around chasing a broken brakelight but today I'm more than happy not to move. This last week I've been so intensely slowed down. My body. My brain etc. Thyroid issues run in our family but I know it's not that. I think it's psychological. It came out of nowhere. But gotta resolve it.
Ah. Cue tears again. Not totally sure why. But this has to stop. hehe